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Results of Post-Punishment Day.

Discussion in 'The Tower' started by Thatgirl, May 28, 2017.

  1. Seems to me that they are more into "funishment" rather than a true domestic discipline relationship, and of course there is nothing wrong with that. Even "funishment" spankings can push the boundaries, and not be fun at the time. It is all just adult games, that help bring kinky couples together.
     
  2. Whoa. A poly triad for 44 years! I had no idea.

    Lockedpom when she starts beating me with a pipe wrench I'll be sure to check back in.
     
    Nicoftime likes this.
  3. @Thatgirl@Thatgirl remember if you feel to uncomfortable, try to write down and step away from things for 24 hours. You don't have to be 100% beholden to a schedule if you aren't "in it to win it". There will come a time when your unbelievably strong love for him will override the need for him to be punished. It will happen with a small infraction and it will happen with something bad. A technique (I am a giver type of person) I found useful is to find somethings that I really really love about the person. Think about what makes you so happy to be around him. Then look at they infraction and state this is not the potential or person that I know he is. I love him so much I want to make sure he stays that person that I know he wants to be. In the long term if you can implement the strictest punishment without restraints and have him take it 100% and more, then you know he loves and respects you the most.

    When you see tears realize they are tears of joy and the realization from him that he knows he has done wrong and wants to be better. The yells/screams are acknowledgement that he wants and needs to be a better man.

    @Thatguyontheinternet@Thatguyontheinternet you may not realize it (especially when receiving the punishment); however, you have a rare keeper in her. You have a woman that wants to always be in love with you. Wants to be loyal and wants to love you to the deepest part of her emotions. Most relationships die. Most people at some point say WTF, this person isn't worth it and just cut off their inner feelings from the other and push the others aside. It starts with anger and disappointment. By having these sessions with you she is communicating them to you and with you and working them out. Does it suck, hell yes. Does anyone want to feel the pain and humiliation (hell no). Being a man in love with a tough and wonderful woman means taking everything she has and still loving her. Loving a push over is easy, boring, and usually ends early. But ... what a minute I hate this shit (you will think). Think of it this way if you need to resist and want to keep your alpha ways, realize she is toughening you up. Can't stand the pain, try to handle it and show her that you can take it and more. If you are a switch or want to be, you have to realize how to control your feelings and appreciate them. Loving her means after she takes the cane, or whatever implement she uses and say she is to deliver 50, and you want to break on 15. Pushing and holding back at 16 and more. Do take care not to taunt; however, if you want to stay alpha (not suggesting you do), after 50, you can say I love you sweetie how about 10 more and I am sorry for X. If you break down during that phase it is ok.

    Why the advice for resistance? Until you write more about your feelings and share, I am thinking you aren't a complete beta. I don't want you to feel that you have to succumb to certain fetishes or lifestyle choices some folks desire. The key thing is do the crime ... do the time ....

    For both of you:
    i can't wait to hear more (if you are guys/gals are willing to share). Remember to enjoy life!

    Of all the posters I have seen here on CM, I will have to say the one that impresses me the most with candor is @Vinny@Vinny in these areas. He provides pretty detailed advice, and from what he has written in these areas you are delving with. Don't get me wrong there are some others that provide super advice; however, my gut and my experience shares/shows he is someone that has walked the path that I think you will find most enjoyable.
     
    Mash2214 likes this.
  4. I can't speak for others, but I can tell you I don't take them easily. When we started punishment spankings my wife was so timid about hitting me. I kept explaining to her that this was fine, in fact I found it arousing in a playful smack on the ass kind of way, but it wasn't punishment. Overtime as we discussed this she grew in her confidence and strength. About three sessions ago she was hitting me hard enough that I was apologizing and begging her to stop, but she still only spanked me about 6 or 7 times in total. She favors a heavy wooden spoon by the way. The next time was kind of weak. She only used her hand which frankly hurt her more than me. When we were talking about it later I mentioned that when I was pretty darn good she should let me off with 6 or 7, but she should feel comfortable hitting me 20 or 30 spanks when I was bad. She expressed doubt over that many.

    Like I did the last time when she was forceful enough to truly punish me, I decided to poke the hornets next. At the end of the list I presented to her I wrote "PS Don't bring that weak a** sh** like last week". She came into our office with her spoon and told me to strip right there. She got behind me as I bent over my desk and went to work. It hurt like hell. I lost count almost immediately and was begging her to stop and apologizing for all I was worth. Despite my flight reflex kicking in I was able to stay gripped to the desk, but I think I was trying to move my back end to escape. It was over in probably less than a minute, but I had no concept of time as it seemed to last forever. There was nothing easy about it. I asked her later that night how many she had given me and she replied 30.

    I love feeling submissive to my wife and I love feeling her dominance over me. We are still learning the ropes in a lot of areas, but the feelings of my submissiveness to her and her dominance over me in that spanking and the aftermath of kneeling at her feet while she made me apologize for making her do that were intense. Thanking her and telling her how much I love her while my pants are still around my ankles and my ass throbbing from her beating were intense. I don't like the pain and I dread each blow before it lands, but I love how it makes me feel and the power it gives her. I feel like in this area of our relationship we have reached the real transfer of power from submissive to dominant. I now submit to her and take what she inflicts as her will. Light or harsh I accept it, apologize for causing it and thank her for helping me be better in our FLR. And one more thing, no more poking the hornets nest. ;)
     
  5. This has vastly become the most popular thread at the mansion. So many people don't understand why someone would want to be severely disciplined by their partner, Mistress, Wife etc. I've been trying to explain this to my wife for 25 years, for her to discipline me is one of the greatest ways she can show her love and caring for me. When you bend over for discipline your not forced into it, you may not even be tied down. Your submitting in the ultimate form. No lock or rope can hold you as strong as your own submissive mind.

    I had been trying to get my wife to severely discipline me for 25 years. About 8 or 9 years ago i was being an asshole to her and she had had enough and had become very angry with me. She Yelled at me " you want me to spank you than get Your Bare Ass over that coffee table now" she took the strap and didn't spank me, she beat me, this was the first and only time that she spanked me with that much anger. She hit me as hard as she could. Needless to say I was a bawling mess and my ass was literally beat to a pulp. But I never stopped her or never got up When she was done she through the strap at me and went to the bed room crying. After I composed myself I went to her and said " I'm sorry that you had to do that and I love you so much".

    Love can be shown in many ways, yes I'm different and so are all the people here at the Mansion were all different. One thing we have learned is the unconditional Love, compassion and submission to our partner is the Greatest Gift that we could ever give.
     
  6. +1 Very well worded Mash , True love knows no limits
     
  7. I've read this thread many times @Thatgirl@Thatgirl and one thing keeps coming to me.

    The state of his sexual mind when you spank him. To be tied up forced over a bench can all be stimulating to the person getting spanked. Some of the most elective disciplines I received have been quite different. Let me explaine.

    I know I'm going to be disciplined and come to my wife where she tells me to pull my pants down ( not remove). I'm than told to Masturbate to orgasm, this is difficult since I'm not excited. When I finally do cum I have to take my cum in my mouth and bend over the spanking bench. Than I am disciplined.

    Why this is effective is. If it's been a long time since an orgasm I'm having it in a non exciting way. It's humiliating knowing that I'm only Masturbating so the spanking will be more effective. Pants down and not off is more humiliating. My cum in my mouth is always more exciting until you acctually cum than I do t want to eat it.

    Being spanked this way is a very effective way of my Mistress taking total control of me. My sexual state of mind had changed because of the way I had an Orgasm.

    I realize that you are a very experienced and knowledgeable Mistress. I just wanted to let you know what has worked for us. Good Luck
     
  8. I have been in a monogamous, chastity driven, female led relationship for 1 year lol. In that time we have barely scratched the surface of the bdsm kinks or fetishes.

    I can say from our experience with punishment versus funishment, funishment is where it started. That's what got her started getting excited from administrating pain, and where I started enjoying her enjoyment of it. I can almost assure if she would have started out with a wooden paddle, strapped to the bed, and hitting unvery hard, I would have said not again thanks. This was her kink and I was going along, but if she hadn't made it fun, it wouldn't have gone any further.

    I am not sure if that was her plan. Or just the natural progression of discipline. We are not at the level you are at yet, don't get me wrong, it hurts, but restraints are not needed yet and I haven't cried. We haven't done the funishment thing in a long while, and pretty much just administer discipline after awhile and she mentions what it's for, and the occasional you're getting it right now mister.

    I doubt things stay the very exact for too long, and most things evolve.
     
    Mash2214 likes this.
  9. From my very limited experience of all this sort of chastity+, men seem to want to jump into the deep end and women tend to take things in small incremental steps. Vinny talks about how he trained all of the women in his life to be more severe with him, my Wife has taken her evolution into Mistress Elle veeeery slowly (but also veeeeery definitely!) and it would appear Mistress Amante is doing the same thing. Even @Thatgirl@Thatgirl is describing how she is developing her use of chastity and punishment within her relationship.

    It would also appear to be one of the indicators of who is really doing this and who the fantasists are. If someone posts that last night they asked their wife to lock them up and she said yes, and today she has thrown all their man underwear away and from now on they have to wear panties, and next week she is going to have sex with some man they just met, I tend to have my doubts about the truth of the matter.
     
  10. Given the way I was raised and my job, punishment has always had a bad connection. Hate to say this on the forum, especially since I think @Thatgirl@Thatgirl is great, but I'm not sure my wife would like the results. Again, I am on the opposite side of most members. I don't want chastity and do want more sex.
     
  11. Then you should talk to @Thatguyontheinternet@Thatguyontheinternet. He never asked for Chastity, and I was pretty much the one who initiated it.
     
  12. If i been silly and done something wrong and i am send for my paddle i like going for it and thinking i am going to have it but after a bit when I'm having it i don't cos it does hurts after a bit. and then after i has to stand and that's evr so boring.
     
  13. While I think I understand the two sides of punishment and how it fits into FLR and Chastity, I will say that I think it is not something my wife is totally comfortable with in reality. Yes, she has paddled me in a symbolic way, and made sure to let me know why punishment is taking place, which is important. But, it has been very much for real. She doesn't start out easy and move to hitting harder. She starts out hitting hard and finishes hitting hard. She clearly has little motivation for "funishment." I have always thought it would be nice to have a little funishment, but just now I hear the old mantra ringing in my ears, "be careful of what you wish for." Needless to say, I don't look forward to spankings or being paddles/canned as much as I used to. She always tells me what she wants improved, and she isn't kidding around.:oops:
     
  14. I meant no disrespect to Vinny. I was just razzing him a little since I've read that first sentence about the 44 year poly triad around a million times :) But his point in general is understood.

    The thing I don't seem to be conveying is that this was not fun for me. That may be hard to believe but it's true. It was more like an endurance test. And taking momentary breaks to let me catch my breath so she could continue without me ripping my arms from their sockets or worse, was Her way of administering the punishment in a way that frankly I could handle. Barely.

    That's why his warnings about mixing punishment and pleasure, while legitimate points, don't quite apply. And I feel as though a reading of my comments before and after, leading up to the replies on this thread, should have conveyed that pretty clearly.

    But like so many things, this sort of punishment appears to be on the turn-on / funishment list for many and so I think it's difficult for those people to believe that at that moment I would have done ANYTHING she asked to skip the rest of the swats I had coming. She could have told me two months in the cage and I probably would have said YES emphatically. And thanked her. And this is coming from a guy (a couple, really) who've yet to keep the cage on for a full two weeks.
     

  15. I am very similar. My fight or flight reflex nearly always defaults to fight. Following this punishment I was quiet for a day and a half. I am not used to it. The desire to react strongly took considerable emotional strength to quell. But isn't that the point?

    As time goes I will get better and handling the pain and she will adjust her tactics accordingly. But unless something seriously switches in me, I don't see ever wanting to get the paddle. And that's why it's her primary punishment method.
     

  16. You suck for posting that her for Her to read! That sounds terrible. The pent up sexual energy does make it easier for me to submit. And anything happening directly after a cum is way, WAY worse. So yeah. Thanks a lot... ;)
     
    Mash2214 likes this.
  17. This is spot on Jemima. There's some erotic excitement in the lead up. But for me, for paddling, it disappears the instant the she takes that first swing.

    I think maybe "funishment" may be defined as any punishment during which that sexual excitement continues to exist during and through the punishment.

    That's not what this was. Could you all see a video I don't think there'd be any doubt.
     
  18. You really shouldn't tease us about things like that!
     
  19. I remember starting it was 10-15 paddles with a soft leather spanker. With pauses in between and loving caressing. Fondling my cage etc. The force involved was quite low and even my son when two would have laughed it off.

    Fast forward to now and it is anywhere from 25-80 very hard swats with a heavy wooden paddle. No real caressing or fondling, and my cage doesn't have a cock straining to get out.

    So we don't really do "funishment" anymore, but I have noticed she gets more excited from punishment than funishment.
     
  20. This is spot on Jemima. There's some erotic excitement in the lead up. But for me, for paddling, it disappears the instant the she takes that first swing.

    I think maybe "funishment" may be defined as any punishment during which that sexual excitement continues to exist during and through the punishment.

    That's not what this was. Could you all see a video I don't think there'd be any doubt.
     
  21. We've actually considered it many times. We dabbled in a little live webcamming once for shits and giggles. Oddly enough I'm fairly sure it isn't @Thatgirl@Thatgirl who would have the hang ups about sharing a video here. Given the nature of what would be going on in the video it's me that has thus far nixed the idea.

    Yeah. Idk how you can handle that. You mentioned in another post trying not to laugh through them. She hits me twice with a heavy rubber paddle or that riding crop and I literally scream out and pull against the restraints hard. I wish I could stay still for her without the restraints but at this time it's just not possible. And the gag she used - not for fun. It's to make sure the neighbors don't call the police to report he butchering of a St. Bernard in the apartment above them.

    Our poor freaking neighbors. What they must think...
     
  22. Yes, I am glad we have a restraint system attached to our bed, otherwise I'd be able to get thru MAYBE 5 smacks before he is in a ball defending himself;) And yes, the gag is necessary as well as we live in an apartment with very thin walls and floors...you can hear the neighbor below us coughing...I always check for notes on the door post punishment/play just to make sure, lol!
     
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  23. Now all I can think of is a neighbor leaving a bottle of aspirin and some cold packs lol
     
    Living Curious and Thatgirl like this.
  24. In all actuality there are worse things as punishment than the physical pain ones we do. I would not dare mention them on cm because she usually reads what I post ....love you sweetie... but I think I would rather be beat than do some of the mindless boring repetitive stuff I've read others doing.
     
  25. When I'm being particularly challenging my wife simply says fine, go unlock and let's send the cage back. Stops me cold every time. Although I did ask her the other day if she would ever want to go back to the way things were and got a definitive "no way". So I'm not sure that threat is as real as it once was. Never the less I don't want to find out.