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Resisting the urge to purge

Discussion in 'Crossdressing in all its variations' started by karoma, Dec 30, 2016.

  1. karoma
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    karoma New Member

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    Does anyone else from time to time begin to regard being a sissy as more of a curse than a blessing? Perhaps through being too ashamed of being a sissy to tell anyone else, let alone brave enough to face the inevitable rejection. Alternatively, it could just be one of those days where you're in a weird mood and feel like distancing yourself from all this kinky silliness.

    For me, sometimes I end up purging my wardrobe of anything feminine in a symbolic attempt to divest myself from the problem, imagining that I won't want to dress as a girl without the clothing, lingerie and other accessories to tempt me. This is costly when the urge to express my feminine side comes back with a vengeance, and I get stuck in a grim cycle of repeatedly buying new clothes only to throw them away soon after. It's as hard on the soul as it is on the pocket, with me inevitably coming to regret things that I lost in the process - we all have that special perfectly cute pair of panties that we know we'll never find again!

    This process repeats each time with me believing that the next time will somehow be different and I definitely won't ever shed my sissy thoughts again.

    I know chastity is a good solution to keep myself firmly bound to my sissy mindset, but without an owner or keyholder all I have is my willpower, which isn't quite good enough.

    Does anyone else experience this? What are your solutions?
     
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  2. Brooke the Sissy
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    I'm accepting and grateful for what is a well of happiness in my life.
     
  3. Kate Medova
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    Kate Medova (not really)

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    Hi Karoma. It can be difficult. I think the key is to keep it a manageable part, but not all, of your life. You obviously derive pleasure from it or you wouldn't dress. Why deny yourself the pleasure?

    I have purged during periods of trauma but that was a long time ago. I am more than comfortable in myself now. If I like to dress up sometimes it is hurting no-one and I enjoy it hugely. I do sometimes have to reign myself in and keep it manageable or it would become too great a part of my life and take too much time.

    I think I have found the balance. Perhaps you just need to find yours?

    Chastity can help keep you in the mindset but acceptance of who you are and what you enjoy is also necessary.
     
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  4. Eliza
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    Eliza Member

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    Accept that this is what gives you pleasure, dressing this way makes you happy. This is your excperience, your positive feelings, and only because other people don't understand this, doesn't invalidate who you are and what you like. Live your own life and not their's. Accept that crossdressing is neither a 'phase' nor a 'mental sickness', it's a harmless thing that gives you lots of pleasure.

    However, there might be those times when you are disgusted all by yourself. You might think 'I will never be a real man' and feel the need to 'man up'. What helped me was realizing two things:
    1. 'Being a man' is an artificial construct and you can build your own identity. Plus: Being brave enough to live out your feminine side is a virtue in and of itself. You're brave and unique! That's the male-typicalest thing ever.
    2. You can always put your feminine clothing in boxes and hide it somewhere, You don't need to throw it away! Simply think of the cost alone, and distance yourself emotionally from making a decision in that moment. Just postpone the decision of 'throwing it all away' to the next day. You will think more rationaly after a night of sleep.
     
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  5. karoma
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    karoma New Member

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    Oh I absolutely don't buy into the whole "real man" macho nonsense. Being able to be myself and not what society tells me to be seems much braver than living according to some gender specification sheet.

    I guess it just comes down to periodic denial that this is really me, and this is most evident immediately after orgasm when my brain switches gear. Which is why I'm trying to stay locked in chastity as often as possible.

    But yes, storage rather than the dump seems like a far better alternative!
     
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  6. SissyMaid4U
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    SissyMaid4U Well-Known Member

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    First off, you look fantastic in your profile pic. Secondly I used to go through these cycles too. I was unsure of myself and what I wanted to get out of dressing like this. It was only until I told my best friend at the time, now Wife, that I dressed and she didnt blink an eye. Now that I have that someone to talk to about what im feeling and gained that acceptance, the urge to purge has gone away. I dont know if you have someone in your life you trust enough to tell but if you can work up the courage to it is potentially worth the pay off. Ive since told a few other friends and that only helped solidify my self assurance with x-dressing.
     
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  7. zebra
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    zebra Member

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    I have had the purge. The guilty feeling I should be doing this. At best it last a few months then I get the urge to wear.. I love panties.
    Over the years I learned I am happier wearing panties. Wearing them make feel secure and calm. It taken years to just go with it. My wife know I like to wear but doesn't say much about it.
     
  8. jemima
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    jemima maid for my Mistress

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    i don't. i'm a girl all the time and i has been for ages now. i was bully a lot when i was a boy and so i went to Spain and live as a girl and then i wern bully and i'm happy and i meet my Mistress and come back to England and i more happy.
     
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  9. Wendygirl
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    Wendygirl To offer advice and keep CM safe and welcoming

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    Hi

    I guess the telling bits are around its denying it's the real me and being who YOU want to be .

    The whole purge thing can be very damaging to how you feel about your self which is not good. It is very common around the folk who have gender issues.
    Some would ask if it's sexual or do you just feel a lot more comfortable leaving your boy side for a while with no sex involved. It's a crude test to decide if you are cd/tv or none sexual then TS .

    However you may well want to have some quite time to yourself and try to untangle your feelings a bit. Writing stuff down on forums can help order your thoughts.
    The most important thing is that you have to concider both your short and long term future and how you would be most happy .

    Think about the how later and often all to easy to over think that bit and come up with lots of but iffs that are negative.

    Xx Wendy
     
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  10. cain
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    cain New Member

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    Have you ever thought of renting a storage box ? That way you could put everything in and lock it away untill the urge to purge goes away . Cheaper on the pocket as well !
     
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  11. Lockedwithlove
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    Lockedwithlove I am my Queen's toy

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    I was just reading your post and I wanted to say that all of us have different things in our lives that we may feel guilty about but it doesn't make it wrong. I don't consider myself a sissy (although if mistress ever dressed me I'd go along willingly) but I've had the same urge to purge certain items of mine that if discovered could be rather embarrassing. But in the end it's just who we are and there is nothing wrong with that. Okay I'll just come clean, I love anal play and over the years I've bought several toys. Every now and then I'd feel guilty about what I was doing and throw everything away. Then 2 months later I was buying new toys. Since starting chastity I've confessed to my mistress my desire for anal play and she's accepted it and indulges me every once in awhile. It's not her favorite thing but she goes along with it because I like it. So don't be ashamed of who you are and what you enjoy, there is absolutely nothing wrong with it and you're not hurting anyone. As someone else above said you look really good dressed and I agree. If you ever have that desire to purge you can always buy a locking chest and put everything in there. If you want to not dress for a while take the key to a local bank and put it in a safety deposit box. That way you can't throw your things away and no one else can get into it. When the desire to dress back up hits you, you can just go to the bank and get the key. Although based on what I've seen on this site, the more you get into chastity the more you're probably gonna dress up lol.
     
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  12. chastedolivia
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    chastedolivia Member

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    I've had the urge to purge on a few occasions and have only gone through with it once very early on. Luckily it was only a couple items my wife bought me when we were first experimenting with different kinks together. Once we got more into chastity the urge to purge has lessened. What I would recommend.is locking yourself up and telling yourself that you will throw everything out in a couple of days. If possible leave your keys somewhere safe where you can't get to them for a few days. By the time that period is up the urge should subside. That may be easier said than done depending how closely chastity is tied to dressing for you but even willfully procrastinating on throwing everything out should help.
     
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  13. Kate Medova
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    Kate Medova (not really)

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    Exactly. And in an attempt to encapsulate a response in a single word I say 'acceptance'. Embrace who you are as a whole and enjoy every single bit.
     
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  14. sissy paula
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    sissy paula New Member

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    Oh please don't purge anymore, you're such a pretty cute sissy, you know you'll regret purging, i know i did, once a sissy always a sissy :rolleyes:
     
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  15. Lucy
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    Lucy Lucy X

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    Purging can be really damaging, before I met my Mistress my wife died and my parents who I didn't know were aware of my kinky side told me that if I needed to move on I should clear out the cupboard of kinky items as she would not need them anymore. I told them most of it was mine and then went on to sell off too cheap most of my latex suits I had accumulated. When I met Mistress I told her about my latex and she told me it wasn't for her so I decided it was time to keep selling but kept some as it was sentimental so imagine my surprise one day when she asked if I had any latex she could try on.. it started with latex panties and now she has two fabolous dresses...

    I have an amazing cupboard of latex and baby stuff and every so often I get to the denial phase usually when I'm cross or angry and then I look in the cupboard and try something on and then sometimes laugh at how I look but realise this is me in the mirror... And I don't give a stuff what anyone else thinks..

    Long post but happy new year as well!
    Hugs
    Lucy x
     
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  16. slave stroppy
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    slave stroppy senior member

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    thats a great way to think and live your life the way you two wish to live it mate. Happy New Year to you both.
     
  17. Lucy
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    Lucy Lucy X

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    And the same to you and your good lady @slave stroppy
     
  18. Cecilia B
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    Cecilia B Well-Known Member

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    I've read in lots of places that crossdressers do this 'pruge' thingy all the time. Since I'm the one who introduced bf to it, neither of us really has thought about purging. When we are on break from chastity and discipline, the lingerie and dresses I got for him just stay in a closet and in their drawers. Alot of my lingerie and clothes fit him, too. Since those are my clothes, there's no worry about purging.

    If you're going to p urge, though, at least give them to a charity so you can take the tax deduction. I read alot about some crossdressers who just throw the clothing in the trash and that seems expensive. Alot of the frilly, retro stuff that I buy both for me and him are expensive compared to everyday clothing and underwear.

    Bf says he doesn't feel guilty about dressing up for me, but he does it for me & not for himself, even though he admits he associates dressing up with sex, even when he knows I'm making him get dressed for a discipline session. He told me he thinks sometimes I might change my mind.
     
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  19. DonnaSue
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    DonnaSue Well-Known Member

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    When I was simply crossdressing for the fun, excitement and the love of the silky fabrics, I used to purge every few months. Since i was doing so in secret, I had limited storage options for my fem clothes and whenever I bought something new, I had to donate something old, etc. Periodically, I would feel that it just wasn't worth it anymore and I would donate it all to the thrift store. Soon, I would love the fem shopping so much that I just couldn't resist getting some new things. Since my Mistress learned of my CD interest and I was thus 'outed' to her, I have become feminized by Her, little, by little over the years and I have not experienced the "urge to purge" since my lingerie, heels, makeup, etc have become such a large part of my routine daily life.
     
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  20. dianna
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    dianna caged sissy slut

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    I have been crossdressing since i was a kid. I like the way it feels the thrill the excitement that i might get caught and also the humiliation if you do. I have been through countless purge and replace cycles costing heaps of money. I would always regret it after i got rid of all my girly things. Over the years i have just come to accept that this is part of who i am and the urge to dress and be fem / sissy will never go away. I now hope with the support of a loving partner i can start to explore all things chastity, fem, sissy in greater depth. It still is my guilty little pleasure but i now don't have to feel like i am the only one who does this. Again part of the reason that i have joined community sites like this for help and reassurence that I'm not alone in the way i feel and that i am not some kind of freak. Chastity mansion helps to support me when i feel this way and i realise that it is just a healthy kink.
     
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  21. akman770
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    akman770 New Member

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    Even though I am not a sissy, let me add my support and note that I have gone though similar phases with my specific kinks. In the end, I definitely think it is better to hold on to the items - the desires won't go away, and as we all know they usually come back even stronger. Lots of good ideas in previous posts, find a way to store the items and just ignore them for a while. And when you need them again you will still have them.
     
  22. bob40B
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    bob40B Active Member

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    You can purge your stuff but you will never be able to purge the desire from your mind.
     
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  23. DonnaSue
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    DonnaSue Well-Known Member

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    You are correct, @bob40B ! Crossdressing and being a sissy is more in the mind than the physical stuff! Not that simple to purge your mindset!
     
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  24. Mash2214
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    Mash2214 Her Locked Little Boy

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    We need to Learn to accept Who we Are. To be classified by society that their is something wrong with you because you dont follow in societies footsteps is Pardon my language "Bull Shit " society is more screwed up than we are we're willing to talk to others about what makes us different wether it's being a sissy, chastity ,spanking, feminization, etc. A very good friend of mine is a psychiatrist and sees a lot of so called normal people who beat their wives and children. Others who steal from everyone and others who are just terrible people very self centered.

    We are the normal ones in my Opinion, we care and support others even if they dress as a women or what ever makes them happy. If your special interest isn't hurting anyone than how can it be wrong. Society needs to learn how to except people that are the leaders in the world because they don't fit into society's mould , like my wife's panties,

    Be Proud of Who You are. Your Special.
     
  25. PouchPantyLover
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    PouchPantyLover Well-Known Member

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    I did the purge once and in grand fashion. Over a period of roughly a decade I had gathered up an old steamer chest that was near full of crossdressing stuff such as clothes, lingerie, wigs, breast forms and shoes. It also had a range of sex toys such as strap-ons and light bondage stuff. It even had a large collection of VHS Tapes (dating myself :oops:) of various fetish and vanilla porn. When my daughter was born I decided she wasn't going to grow up in a house with a pervert like me. I thought by throwing away all of this stuff I could purge my soul of my "irregularities" and become the normal Daddy I wanted to be.

    It took awhile before I started re-building my collection (DVD's this time around ;)) and also realizing that no matter what I possessions I throw away, I can't throw away who I am. I say this with due humility, I am a damn good father. I have always been involved in my kids lives, been there for them when they needed me and yes provided a comfortable life too. I happen to be wearing a steel cage on my penis covered by some lace panties while I'm being a good dad, but I'm still a good dad.

    I agree with what @Mash2214 just said about being proud of who you are. I also think though that we have to acknowledge the friction that exists between our lifestyle choices and the world at large. Does everyone know that I have a cage on my penis? Do I tell my employees and customers that I like to wear women's clothing? Do my broader family and friends know I identify as a sissy and love to serve my dominant wife/mistress/kh? The answer is a resounding no for me and I suspect as well for most people here. We chose to keep these things a secret and that very act carries with it a degree of shame. That's where the urge to purge comes from.

    To be clear I am not advocating an all or nothing approach. It's not like I think one must live the Sissy life style 24/7 to be a Sissy and must make sure everyone knows you're a Sissy. I think there's a balance that we all must strike between the conflicting interest in our lives. Being proud of one self doesn't require shouting from the roof tops. For me the balance is in expressing my sissy side where I can and when I can as is practical. Find your balance and the urge to purge falls away to a quiet confidence that you are great just how you are.