We've been using chastity to help our marriage since around September 2015. I'm not going to write out the full history here, but since we first kept me locked during sex, my wife has wanted my chastity to be permanent. We have experimented with varying lengths of lockup, going as long as seven months. My wife's vaginismus is actually getting worse. A recent pelvic exam revealed that the tightness of her vaginal muscles along with having 5 kids in less than 8 years is causing her uterus and vaginal canal to tip and it will eventually effect her bladder and other things in the pelvic region. Along with all of that is the fact that we've had 5 kids in less than 8 years. My wife and I don't feel comfortable with birth control medications and she hates the way condoms feel. We don't want any more kids any time soon, we're both tired of constantly having babies. So, we had a long discussion last week during which we agreed for the sake of her and the rest of the family, I will be kept chaste until our 10th anniversary in November 2018. Last week, right after that decision was made, my wife's gyno gave her some vaginal dilators to use to help strengthen and straighten her vaginal cavity. They are basically test-tube shaped dildoes in varying diameters. My wife hates putting them in, but is supposed to use them for 10 minutes each day. So she asks me to do it for her. It kind of drives me nuts to be basically fucking my wife with a dildo while I know I'm locked up for almost 2 more years. And it doesn't help that she looks me straight in the eyes with a smile while I'm doing it. She enjoys it somehow even though the sensation is uncomfortable for her. Since our commitment to long term chastity, her behavior has changed noticeably. She is way more confident and touchy feely with me. She touches me in sexual ways several times through the day, and she has started demanding that we go to bed naked every night and I hold her and cuddle her until she falls asleep. I am happy with her clear enjoyment of my chastity, but it is a bit frustrating. Hoping that keeping something of a journal on here will help me stay positive as I adjust to this long period of chastity.
My wife has issues which make intercourse painful. We stopped having it so long ago that we cannot remember how long it has been. Our guess is 20+ years or so. Instead of chastity we just switched to oral sex. We only got into chastity when I hit 60 years old. For us chastity means no orgasm at all for me until my wife wants me to. Question: Seems that your problem is in having intercourse like we have, so is chaste just no intercourse or no orgasms at all. If it is no intercourse, that is not very difficult after you get used to it. Unlike you though, inserting a dildo into my wife's vagina is no more comfortable then inserting my penis, so we do not do that. When we do have sex, it is oral or manual only.
My wife is completely grossed out by the idea of giving or receiving oral. We have tried manual on me, but she is terrible at it and does not enjoy doing it. And I don't enjoy having her do it. Plus, there's the whole problem that I have to be erect to do it, and my erections make her anxious and hard for her to enjoy it.