Relationship changes from Chastity

Discussion in 'Chastity and orgasm denial' started by CB Henry, Sep 22, 2018.

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  1. CB Henry
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    CB Henry Member

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    I would welcome experiences from CM members on how after deciding to explore chastity and keyholding how did if at all this affect other aspects of your relationships. Did the keyholder discover until then desire and confidence to be more assertive in other aspects of the relationship and also in other areas of life such as at work.
     
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  2. Xileh
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    This question touches the aspect of chastity that I have found most rewarding. I suggested chastity twelve months ago for a couple of reasons. Better than my submission or stimulation without release, has been her growth and acceptance of her natural dominance. It is my greatest reward and I will do anything for her.

    As a result, yes, our relationship is starting to change. I am sure it will build on the foundation we have laid, but I have no crystal ball for where it will go.
     
  3. Doug Scibor
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    Doug Scibor Active member

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    Our relationship has always been strong but as kids grow up and your marriage matures it is easy to let things become stale and take each other for granted. We were in a routine which worked when things were crazy but there is more time for us as our kids aren't quite so dependent on us for every minute of their lives.

    Chastity brought us closer, made me appreciate her more, made her realize how often I was 'self pleasuring' without her and maybe, just maybe made her a little more comfortable with being in charge of our sexual life in the bedroom.

    Lately, that has been what she wants when she wants it and how long she'll keep telling me, "no."

    I have never loved my wife more and crave her attention now where I used to take care of my own needs and find some other use of my time.
     
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  4. LesterBallard
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    LesterBallard Active member

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    To be honest, this is such a personal question. It depends on the dynamic between you.
     
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  5. Shepherdsflock
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    Shepherdsflock Active member

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    It’s helped my wife to enjoy sex more. It’s helped me feel better about her as my wife, since she enjoys sex now and I don’t feel like I and robbing and raping her every time now.

    But outside the bedroom, I wouldn’t say it has had much effect on other areas of life.
     
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  6. Wonderwomanssub
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    Wonderwomanssub Active member

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    My Miss has become more assertive in general the longer we continue this. Theres no more beating around the bush, she is very direct with what she wants now. I on the other hand feel more tentative when offering suggestions and I genuinely get a little nervous if I have to bring up something to her that she may not like.
     
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  7. Ma’ams Slut
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    Ma’ams Slut OWNED, LOCKED, SUB TO MY LOVE MA’AM M

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    It had def made us closer and has brought her more around to the kink bdsm stuff and her being confident in herself and being kinky with out feeling weird plus I pay so much more attention to her. Which I love also knowing that she feels really sexy and powerful and loved
     
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  8. Susanstoy91
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    Being very new to MC, we are both going through some changes. I always thought I was s good partner and husband. Married 29 years, you start to just go with the flow. I brought up MC and wearing the cage about 2 months ago. Not knowing what to expect from my Wife. She agreed from day one. My Wife has always been a "people pleaser" and always took the back seat. It is hard for her to have me caged and see me begging and suffering with the T&D sessions. We have had more talks about what we both like and dislike on our sex lives Some I knew and some I had no clue on. It has opened both our eyes. We have be doing Locktober and my Wife is really enjoying our new life style...She is now talking long time chastity. how things have changed...She told me I'm "more fun" when caged. Not sure how long our MC will last, but I'm thinking I might be sorry what I wished for...:)...
     
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  9. paulie slave
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    paulie slave Locked house husband

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    When we first met, I earned most of the money and called the shots to a larger extent than my wife. We've been on this chastity and FLR journey for a long time and have no kids so there's been nothing to stop her defining how she wants our marriage to be. She's much more confident now and has got to a high position in her career whilst I have become a meek house husband. I have learned how she likes me to behave, dress and serve. I'm emotionally and financially dependent on her and I adore her, she has done so much for me in ways that would take too long to explain and are more personal than I want to share. This would not be for everyone but it can happen, I never thought back in 2001 when I bought a cb2000 from the states that we'd end up here.

    I know that if I wanted to take any level of control back it would likely end up in divorce as she's told me before she has no intention of ever going back. I wouldn't say this is a thrill ride and I love every minute. I sometimes hate the chores, day in day out or knowing that I'm at her beck and call 24/7. Or the fact that she can end any argument by disciplining me. But I brought up this lifestyle and willingly let her guide me to here so I've made my bed so to speak. Sometimes it really excites me too. It's a weird hot and cold thing.
     
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  10. Cincy
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    Cincy Active member

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    My wife has become a soft dominant, and she has accepted the fact that I am totally submissive to her. On the plus side, she now has a lot more orgasms.
     
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  11. NoloMeTangere
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    I don't mean to be too personal, but what were some of the more surprising things that came to light?
     
  12. KittensProperty
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    Since approaching my wife about chastity about 4 months ago our relationship has changed. She has become more assertive and, more pleasing to me, more open sexually. She has fun teasing me and denying my orgasms. Also, she has started to not only tell me what she wants (oral, strap on, vibrator, ...) but will direct me if I am not doing it the way she wants. We wrote a contract and it gives her the right to discipline me as she deems necessary. She has only resorted to corporal punishment once though I have probably deserved it much more often. She is afraid of hurting me but I think as she evolves that may change.

    We joined an adult club and she has started to dress more provocatively. See through negligees are not unusual for her. A couple of weeks ago she and another girl decided to switch clothes for the evening. When it came time to switch back before going home we were on the back patio smoking area. Instead of heading to the bathroom they both stripped down right there and made the change.

    Outside the bedroom, I am not her slave but I serve her in many ways by choice. For example, when she gets up in the morning I stop what I am doing and go make her coffee. I have taken over almost all the household duties but I already did most of that because of some physical limitations she has. She does help with the laundry where her delicates are concerned and cooks or supper. I still control the household finances and we both have a good allowance that is ours to spend as we see fit without oversight from the other.
     
  13. Susanstoy91
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    Susanstoy91 Member

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    No problem...Where she likes to get touched or licked. She isn't really into anything to do with the anus. Loves her bum getting touched but not much more. She really loves foot rubs, which I wasn't into. But now I get hard rubbing her feet. And we really didn't talk much about our sex lives. We did it a lot and enjoyed it. But now we know more about each others likes and dislikes.
     
  14. harddenial
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    harddenial Member

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    I think my wife was already becoming more assertive so that chastity fitted in nicely with that trend and accelerated it. She has told me that for her "power exchange" is the best description of what she derives from chastity. Like others she is also more expressive and demanding about what she wants from "chastity sex" and part of the power exchange idea is that she is getting the extra orgasms she missed out on earlier while I've already had mine so I shouldn't expect those again. Overall it has been a big positive in our relationship and she has taken her increased self assuredness and confidence into all aspects of her life.
     
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  15. Rectrix
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    Rectrix Active member

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    It's humbling to know that I've already had 99% of the orgasms I'll ever have in life, and that she isn't at 50 % yet.
     
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  16. Mojoman
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    Male chastity is far more than the physical locking up of the penis. By wanting and/or agreeing to be kept in chastity, a man is effectively giving his partner full control of sex in their relationship, which often represents a deep psychological change for the couple concerned. For a man relinquishing that control and authority, it is a submissive act. A woman accepting that control and authority, may be discovering dominant tendencies she didn't know she had, or may have suppressed if she did know.

    Western society is based on patriarchal principals that many people find difficult to escape from and it wasn't that long ago that the marriage vows, given by a woman as part of the wedding ceremony, included the words "love, honour and obey". I'm not trying to claim that we now have full equality between the sexes, but we have come a long way, especially when compared to most other societies in the modern world.

    Many men are still ashamed of their need to be submissive. Many women are not able to shake off the ways old and feel very uncomfortable with their men suddenly asking them to take control over sexual activity. Fortunately for submissive men like me, there are women who enjoy having more control over their sex lives. For some couples the control will be mainly in the bedroom, but in others it will spread naturally into other aspects of their lives.

    From my own experiences, my wife (now ex) and I never planned for things to go as far as they did. It just developed over time and ended up being way beyond her controlling just sex.
     
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  17. CB Henry
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    CB Henry Member

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    Thank you for expressing this to my question sorry you have parted. If willing to share the areas of control in addition to sex and did this play a part in the marriage ending. Understand if you wish not to reply.
     
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