Regretful decision?

Discussion in 'Female led relationships' started by subrugbylad, Feb 25, 2018.

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  1. subrugbylad
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    subrugbylad Member

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    Hi all,

    Are there any ladies or vents out there who has regretted going into a more power led relationship? Maybe She enjoyed it more than expected and took it further than you expected? Or has it changed things for the worse once trying a female led relationship?


    King regards,
    Darren
     
  2. Shepherdsflock
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    Shepherdsflock Long term member

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    I wouldn’t say I regret it, especially since it is completely consensual, but there are moments when it is tough and I feel like I want to give up on it. But we’re not in a “full” FLR. FLR is pretty much restricted to the bedroom for us.
     
  3. Nicoftime
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    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

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    I do not regret introducing chastity to her, but it has given me pause on occasion.

    Once chastity was introduced, she did her homework on the web, and quickly established her own ground rules and expectations. Some were quite welcome, some were very new and unexpected. I then got pierced for her to show my commitment to all this. Once I was in a device for my piercing, the reality of all this settled in and some truths started poking around my mind.

    Such as, I may not ever masturbate again...ever. I could depend on someone else deciding if I ever have an erection again...ever. I may never pee standing up again...ever. There may come a time where she decides I will never orgasm again...ever. Will the routines we have agreed to become permanent? Those kind of thoughts are bound to rattle around anyone who has accepted someone else’s control. I don’t think it would even be any fun without an amount of worry or trepidation.

    It is fleeting and just part of of submission, but being able to accept is part of my affinity for chastity.
     
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  4. JiL
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    JiL servitude4u

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    No regrets most of the time. Our second year of this has been even better than the first. The reality of it all is much more apparent this year, but the expectations for me are clearer and feel mostly achievable. Our FLR is alive both in the bedroom as well as outside of it. The most challenging for me is when I spend a stretch of time alone, and I begin to forget why I am where I am at, feeling locked and forgotten, when that really isn't the case.
     
  5. Breathe
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    Breathe Be true to yourself

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    No regrets. This was meant to be, for us. Can't really imagine us living without that dynamic, although that feeling took a few years to truly take hold for us both. It's a much deeper part of us than either had anticipated.

    There will always be 'trying' times in a relationship. Thankfully in our case, our paths realigned once talking about some concerning matters. Taking pause to maintain your friendship and communication is key. If a power exchange is what feels right, go with it. Even if you're apprehensive... you'll never know unless you both dive in, let go, and flourish. Honesty leads to progress; it just might not be exactly what you had in mind.

    Don't be too scared... although a bit of fear in your place doesn't hurt. ;)
     
  6. Mandynjack
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    Mandynjack Long term member

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    No regrets here either, but that may be because I was always on board for the power exchange. I can see where some males find out they got more than they bargained for. What usually starts as a male fantasy suddenly gets ahead of him when Missy decides she likes the changes. I always say, be careful with your lady's emotions, they don't react the same way a male's reacts. Once the power scales tip towards the female, it's so difficult to rebalance later. Momentum is achieved and hard to stop. If you want to give up some/all of your rights to your lady, she wont want to give them back too soon and the consequences can be profound.
     
  7. Chaste J.
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    Chaste J. Long term member

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    My Chastity is one of the best things for both of us. We only have one regret, that we didn't discover it sooner! Who would believe that as a bloke you can get so much pleasure from not being allowed to cum!
     
  8. mcfeely
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    mcfeely Long term member

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    I agree with Mandy. When on deployment, wife had/has significant responsibilities and in fact ran the household. Its more like a single parent deal then FLR. When I return ( and most of the time with very little notice) there is always an adjustment period and then when redeployed another adjustment period. There's better then a 70% divorce rate in my former unit and a lot of it comes from the difficulty with adjusting. Problem is magnified if you are a serious Alpha.
     
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  9. guest 2942
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    guest 2942 Long term member

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    I thought women liked the challenge of breaking the big ole tough guy, bringing him to his knees? :p
     
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  10. Breathe
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    Breathe Be true to yourself

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    I'm quite sure that's a thing for some.

    Personally... I like making an intelligent, normally eloquent man stutter, stupefied. Therein lies the fun. ;)
     
  11. _and_smile
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    _and_smile Active member

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    No regrets.

    Things don't ever have to go too far, in my opinion. Communication is key. If I were to feel as though I was becoming miserable because of the decisions my Wife is making within our relationship and/or dynamic...I'll speak up. My Wife and I have yet to come to a crossroad that we couldn't stop at, discuss and move on in a direction that we're both happy to travel together. Then again, I'm not the type of guy who gives up my entire life decisions to another human being. Fortunately, my Wife loves me for that, respects me for that and prefers me for that.

    Sometimes, it's tough. As others said. Sometimes, I question why the hell I agreed to give up certain freedoms. A little will power and determination goes a long way to push through those thoughts and think of the bigger, better picture. Reiteration. No regrets.
     
  12. SubSnuggler
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    SubSnuggler Owned by Mistress2and4you

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    The old saying, "Be careful, you may get more than you bargained for" should always be told to those considering a power-exchange/FLR.

    My wife has certainly taken it farther than I figured, and in some ways much less than I thought. Reality isn't fantasy. I do enjoy it and I love her with all my heart, but it is tough sometimes.

    I did get cropped the other day for being a smart ass and those are the times when it gets real. The other thing is that my wife is REALLY into tease and denial, and loves penetrative sex. But...she doesn't like to let me cum but rarely, and she really likes to see if she can make me lose control. She will get on top and just go nuts trying to push me over the edge. It's the greatest pleasure and super-exciting and incredibly maddening at the same time. Those who've been in chastity for weeks at a time know exactly what I mean by that. Grin...

    She hates to give me a release and it's usually a 'mercy' release. And then she is wide open on domme for the next 3 days or so to make sure I don't get all alpha before the hormones go back to sub-mode. Basically I can plan on being on my knees, cropped, pegged, and in general having a sore bottom until she's satisfied sub boy is back.
     
  13. skD
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    skD HausCuck

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    She seems to have an effective cure for the drop post orgasm!

    Thanks for sharing!
     
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  14. subrugbylad
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    subrugbylad Member

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    Thank you all for some fab replies! Regret wasn't the right word here but closest I could think of! Some great examples of some really amazing relationships! Gives me something to aspire to for sure!

    Thanks All!

    Darren
     
  15. Kylara
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    Kylara Happy feminized sub owned by Mistress PHEBUSA

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    FLR and chastity is like launching a rollercoster, it won't stop anymore now.
    Of course it scares us as we have no idea of what will exactly happen or if we will loves it and if your read as I do all advice it improves a lot the life.

    on an other hand, if you give power/freedom to your wife she will take it and never give it back. once it is done it is forever. let the process follow and we are her to helps/support/conseil you.
     
  16. Mash2214
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    Mash2214 Locked today, tomorrow, forever

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    A roller coaster is a good way to explain it @Kyla. Being together with my wife for over 38 years we have been on a few Rollercoaster rides. No matter what direction your relationship takes, chastity and FLR, being only one possible direction I believe that the reason we are still together is because we built our relationship on Love, Respect and Understanding of each other. Your relationship changes sometimes a lot. As we all know when we handed our spouses the Key. These changes are not cast in stone things can be change or altered to how you both want it to be so saying that we regret changing our life to one where she wears the pants and I wear the panties would be wrong. If your relationship is strong you'll find the perfect balance for both of you. No one ever said that life was easy and if they did they were telling a lie it's a Rollercoaster of ups and downs and curves where you don't know what's around the next Corner.
     
  17. Panda2010
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    Panda2010 There's a fine line between pleasure and pain

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    Although I am new to chastity and we haven't got it sorted yet, just the other night I said to my wife that I wished I had known about male chastity years ago.
     
  18. guest 2942
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    guest 2942 Long term member

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    dont we all? lol
     
  19. Nicoftime
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    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

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    Actually not me, I don’t think I would have had the patience to follow through, or the experience to trust. I could see me being young and super horny bugging my keyholder “now? How bout now? Now? Now? What about now? Now?” Until they handed me the key and said yep it’s all yours. I probably would have ruined it for her and the potential it had for further fun.
     
  20. Panda2010
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    Panda2010 There's a fine line between pleasure and pain

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    lol @Nicoftime Even if I had discovered chastity 10 years ago I would still have been older then than you are now! :D
     
  21. MadamBelle
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    MadamBelle Active member

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    I told my Toy that I felt like he was getting the fantasy and fetish part, ( i do enjoy being the domm) but I didn't feel like I was recieving the intimacy I was craving.. told him I was feeling used, because I would do things for him, but when saying I wanted things from cuddle, conversion, to help around the house, real life would become an excuse... Generally him being too tired.. so after I said that he took any thing that was chastity related.. even MY toys, locked then up and will not even talk about it . Saying he doesn't want me to feel used. I am not happy. And again I feel like he's still in control, he's getting what he wants but I don't have any say.. he says it's not what he wants, that I made him do it by my conversation with him... He hasn't even logged in to the mansion since that conversation... I think that during our time with chastity he realised he didn't like not having control... So I guess we'll see what happens next...
     
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  22. guest 2942
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    guest 2942 Long term member

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    I don't know. I read some of his older posts and it seemed like he really liked you in control. Seems strange he just stopped. But if he won't talk I guess it doesnt leave you with many options. Maybe you could edge him and get him to talk that way lol.
     
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  23. Panda2010
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    Panda2010 There's a fine line between pleasure and pain

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    Very true. Forward we go.
     
  24. MadamBelle
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    MadamBelle Active member

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    His new work schedule has really put things in hold. He's usually tired and sore after work, if I initiate edging or sex he'll respond, but when I just want to cuddle him, he'll plead tiredness, says he needs sleep . I feel like i'm a chore to him, I'd like to have intimacy but lack of time seems to make our only alone time sex/fantasy.. I think I hurt his feelings when I told him I felt like I was being used for only what he wanted... Because I love our sessions , and do get pleasured. tonight we had a short talk.. he thinks that I should just realize I'm wrong in my feelings.. before this new schedule, we had a lot of time together , Now it's brief and generally kid filled. I guess I'm expecting special attention on the rare days we can, and he just wants to relax, catch up on news and sleep... I want to be cuddled without being the initiator.. He thinks by now I should just know how he feels and im being ridiculous thinking Im being neglected.. Life is getting in the way and i guess I'm not responding well to it.
     
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  25. guest 2942
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    guest 2942 Long term member

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    maybe its just a funk he is in. Maybe his work. Hopefully it passes with a little time. But I dont think what you are asking for is unreasonable by any means.
     
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