Regarding Reluctance to Take Charge of the Keys

Discussion in 'Chastity in vanilla life' started by tecolote, Apr 2, 2020.

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  1. ChastityNut
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    ChastityNut Active member

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    You answered your own question. It's a game. Don't make it her second job.
     
  2. Chaste J.
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    Chaste J. Long term member

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    Well, in our case it was a game! Seems to be a bit more than that now though! :):lockkey:
     
  3. BR_Saiph
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    BR_Saiph Self-published author

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    Chastity only becomes real when the keyholder embraces this lifestyle and makes it her own. Truly her own.
    Whether or not her perception and thus the reality of it matches his fantasy, is generally the challenge, his challenge to overcome, not hers.
     
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  4. Ormaz
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    Ormaz Long term member

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    It's so sad. It's like letting a tree hide the forest. My KH understands my cage may need minor adjustments but she is inflexible regarding relief. Hopefully, if you keep practicing faithfully, your wife will see the light of day. Good luck!
     
  5. R2002
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    R2002 Long term member

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    Thank you
     
  6. filltee
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    filltee Junior Member

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    Bonobo said it really

    Are you making TTTWD all about her or all about you?
    And of course have you made her aware of what the benefits to her could potentially be?
     
  7. Ormaz
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    Ormaz Long term member

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    By "easily accessible", do you mean they are in plain view, or you just know where they are?
     
  8. tecolote
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    tecolote Long term member

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    They are in a bedside drawer.
     
  9. Ormaz
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    Ormaz Long term member

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    Not so bad. It detracts, however, from the psychological mindset needed in order to enter the chaste frame of mind. Could you gently hint, after pleasuring her, that it would greatly increase your motivation if this "temptation" could be taken away?
     
  10. tecolote
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    tecolote Long term member

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    She has made it clear that she doesn't want to hide them. I just don't know why.
     
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  11. Ormaz
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    Ormaz Long term member

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    It sounds like another vanilla wife having a hard time coming to terms with her dominant side, the “reluctant keyholders” lot. I think the present arrangement helps her enjoy the advantages of chastity without having to deal with those feeling first time keyholders may have, like “Only cruel bitches do stuff like that!”, “I don’t need to have him under lock and key to keep my man!”, “Am I a sadist?!”, etc. Having you in chastity without having to deal emotionally with her keyholder status—“It’s all his doing. He can get the key anytime he wants. He knows where it is.”—, may let her have her cookie and eat it, control you while not admitting to it.
     
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  12. dre8car
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    dre8car Always Locked and Rarely Cum - Lori 8b

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    I asked my wife to take the keys to work. Before I could easily find them. Now I haven't found them and stopped looking. I don't know where they are. I do have an emergency key in a breakable plastic case. As for being dominant, teasing, sex etc its not really in the cards hence the cage.
     
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  13. borbulls1961
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    borbulls1961 Madame Vanilla's property

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    EXACTLY the same over here with my wife Madame Vanilla...keys in the bedside drawer.
    Ive been accessing them to take the device off for biking and showering, and have not wanted to bother or pester her since we started a month ago.
    As its a recent start Ive needed to keep an eye on the penis and make a few adjustments so its actually handy to access the keys without pestering.
    Madame is snowflake Vanilla. So small steps. But She luvvvs Piv even if we hadnt done any for 5 years. Now during this first month of lockup shes tells me to unlock and then climbs on top for her pleasure...like once or twice a week.
    I put the keys back on her pillow next morning after locking back up and she puts them away. And Im making big efforts to help her daily chores that I never did before.
    Sometimes I cant believe how much of a masturbating arsehole I have been for years...
    Right now Im waiting for amazon to deliver two new toys...
    Firstly an engraved lovers keyring that has the date we met 13 years ago and a sweet little heart and a love text and a property of Madame Vanilla for attaching the first key to her housekeys...
    Second a bluetooth connected padlock I will attach to a small transparent jewelry box containing the other key. And I will install the bluetooth app on her phone...
    Apart from Piv she luvvvs doing everything on her phone, so Im just hoping that all this nudges her gently along to controlling the keys...in a months time by which I do hope she ll have started seeing the benefits for real.
    Hope these suggestions make sense Telecote.
     
  14. Ormaz
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    Ormaz Long term member

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    If you find one that works well, let me know!
     
  15. tecolote
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    tecolote Long term member

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    So, does that mean that she (or her phone) has to be in the room to open it?
     
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  16. borbulls1961
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    borbulls1961 Madame Vanilla's property

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    Either/or...
    Her phone will have the administrator rights on the lock...and I have 'slave' rights on my phone....so if she wants to let me unlock the jewelry box she can either do it directly while being in the room or send a one off authorisation to my phone for a given time slot.
    There is also a log that reports the opening and closing times of the lock.
    The little box is transparent and can stay on her bedside table, or in her drawer or on mine.
    So she gets to realise she can mindfuck me...snowflake vanilla woman.
     
  17. borbulls1961
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    borbulls1961 Madame Vanilla's property

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    Well when it arrives I ll let you know...but even if its not 100/100 the important aspect is getting Madame Vanilla closer to keyholding in HER head.
    So if I need to upgrade the hardware to make it secure in MY head I ll do that when I know she is up and running....
     
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  18. borbulls1961
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    borbulls1961 Madame Vanilla's property

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    I ve only been doing this a month and Madame is snowflake vanilla so my goal is to alter her perception of it: the prosthetic looking metal device, the risk of hurting myself, the dubious hygiene, the hard thing she bumps into...
    Clearly Id love her to not think of all these objections and more but as a good salesman Im trying to get her over them by altering HER perception of it...
    So lots and lots of loving her right now and I think shes enjoying it, as long as she connects the dots.
     
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  19. ConSUBmation
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    ConSUBmation Long term member

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    My wife keeps her key on a necklace hanging from her jewelry tree, however I am not allowed to touch it. If she put the key in the lock and walked away, I’d be expected to leave it there and not use it or remove it.

    I have access, but the repercussions of using it without her permission are so severe that I will not touch the key whether it is available or not.
     
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  20. borbulls1961
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    borbulls1961 Madame Vanilla's property

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    What sort of consequences?
     
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  21. Ormaz
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    Ormaz Long term member

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    Excellent question. I want to to know too.
     
  22. ConSUBmation
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    ConSUBmation Long term member

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    There have been some very effective ones like standing in the corner and holding a penny to the wall with my nose until my legs want to give out, but the real effective ones for me involve pain. I’m not into pain. It does nothing for me, but my wife has found a level of fun in inflicting it that she didn’t know she had.

    The things that really keep me in line are serious spankings, kneeling on rice, any type of CBT, etc. I know that for some, spankings can be a motivator to “break rules”, but I’ve found that my wife’s paddle is a very effective deterrent. The worst things though are the silent treatment and threats of stopping chastity altogether.

    I “cheated” a few of times at first and that nearly ended it before we got going. That’s my biggest fear. She now loves TTTWD, but feels that orgasming without her approval is almost the same as infidelity. It’s definitely a BCWYWF situation.

    I’m sure it’s not as titillating as some would answer, but it’s motivation enough for me.
     
    borbulls1961 likes this.
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