Question for you subs if you have cage off...

Discussion in 'Chastity and orgasm denial' started by Mistress Max, Aug 17, 2022.

Random Thread
  1. Mistress Max
    Offline

    Verified Female

    Joined:
    Sep 11, 2020
    Messages:
    244
    Likes Received:
    1,354
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Gender:
    Female
    Local Time:
    1:42 PM
    Just a question for you subs, if for some reason you have to have your cage off for a while, does it make you feel less submissive and less frustrated?

    Its just over two weeks since i had my sub PA pierced, and he says not wearing the cage makes a big difference and i can see a change in his behaviour. all i can hope is that it heals quickly so i can get him back into a cage, i think it must be partly a mental thing as i know he has not had any opertunity to play with himself at all.

    Any advice please?

    Mistress Max.
     
  2. Stephplayswithyou
    Offline

    Stephplayswithyou Long term member

    Joined:
    Apr 18, 2022
    Messages:
    176
    Likes Received:
    182
    Trophy Points:
    43
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Colorado
    Local Time:
    6:42 AM
    I have found a bit of a change if I'm not wearing it, then there's an aha moment where I realize, this isn't good and work to change it. It must be a bit of a subconscious thing to me, but it can also be overcome when you realize you're wrong...just have to work to change it. I also do feel less frustrated perhaps because he's free, but doesn't mean I'm allowed to have any fun without her. We have a bit of an honor system that way and I'm doing this for us.
     
  3. Jay Sub
    Offline

    Jay Sub Long term member

    Joined:
    Jul 21, 2022
    Messages:
    493
    Likes Received:
    436
    Trophy Points:
    63
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    England - South-East
    Local Time:
    1:42 PM
    I had to keep it off for a while, and despite me not cheating and trying my best, my wife felt there was a difference. Overall I think she is right, though I think there were times she expected a difference even if it wasn't there. If that makes sense. Once we know we are better lovers caged then we miss it too. That plays into a slightly more distant feeling, a loss of connection that we had caged. She's not holding the key. It feels wrong. Unnatural.
     
  4. Chaste Bear
    Offline

    Chaste Bear Long term member

    Joined:
    Jun 26, 2022
    Messages:
    167
    Likes Received:
    133
    Trophy Points:
    43
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Liverpool, England
    Local Time:
    1:42 PM
    I've had it off twice since we started. Once for a couple of hours after my KH cracked the ring while grinding on my cage and another time while some resin had to dry. I felt naked and exposed more than anything, was relieved to get locked back up. Maybe your sub is experiencing some of the same anxiety.
     
  5. Queens servant73
    Offline

    Queens servant73 Long term member

    Joined:
    Sep 14, 2020
    Messages:
    366
    Likes Received:
    730
    Trophy Points:
    103
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Midwest
    Local Time:
    7:42 AM
    This is our third year of using the cage, I’m in it basically 24/7, my Wife enjoys piv mostly on the weekends with me and will occasionally allow me to leave the cage off on a Saturday. It’s surprising to me that within just a short time of being free, my thoughts can turn from being extremely focused on how I can make her life easier, or pleasing her, to becoming penis focused.
    Not that I need to touch it or try to cheat or anything, just the mental side of things, I start to think of how great it would feel to get erect and have piv in different positions etc.
    We’re not in a super FLR or D/s type deal, but she determines all sexual things, and I do serve her most of the time.
    As soon as the cage is back on, my mindset is immediately back to my “proper” space.
    In your case where your subby is healing and can’t be caged, would more maintenance punishments help?
    I know for us, that would help me, nothing crazy, just a reminder by going over her knee for a quick hard spanking or even just some corner time while she takes a shower or something.
    If he is having some anxiety over not being caged, maybe having those punishment reminders more often would take that away.
     
  6. Junebug15
    Offline

    Junebug15 Long term member

    Joined:
    Dec 21, 2015
    Messages:
    3,802
    Likes Received:
    1,845
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Gender:
    Male
    Local Time:
    6:42 AM
    It is just a mind set. Not controlled by a cage.
    Though individuals can get reinforcement from wearing a cage.
     
    Queens servant73 likes this.
  7. Echo321
    Offline

    Echo321 Active member

    Joined:
    Jun 3, 2022
    Messages:
    105
    Likes Received:
    213
    Trophy Points:
    43
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    United States
    Local Time:
    8:42 AM
    I’m occasionally let out for a day or two if she’s in the mood to let me “pursue her”. I don’t feel a change when she’s around but when she’s not I kind of miss the reminder. It is nice to pee standing up however.
     
  8. Headtrip
    Offline

    Headtrip Long term member

    Joined:
    Jun 11, 2019
    Messages:
    707
    Likes Received:
    1,490
    Trophy Points:
    123
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Midwest USA
    Local Time:
    8:42 AM
    Yes. I start reverting the minute I am out of the cage. Within a few days I dont want to go back and dont "feel" submissive. Even knowing how much it means to her doesnt change how I feel inside.

    Cant explain why/how but it just happens.
     
  9. true42
    Offline

    true42 Owned member

    Joined:
    Mar 9, 2021
    Messages:
    959
    Likes Received:
    1,311
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Gender:
    Male
    Local Time:
    8:42 AM
    Yes, ma'am. It's psychologically much different for me, wearing vs. not wearing. I do wish my wife would require me to put it on always, because it really does help me get my mind into the right place. I am still respectful and obedient (and chaste) without it, but I am so much better of a husband when I am wearing it, and I actually feel a little bit ashamed by how big the difference is. (Even if she does not notice, or if she notices she does not seem to mind.)

    I have become addicted to that feeling of being helplessly under her control, and I now badly miss that feeling when it is not present.
     
  10. Andy88
    Offline

    Andy88 Long term member

    Joined:
    Dec 14, 2021
    Messages:
    938
    Likes Received:
    699
    Trophy Points:
    103
    Gender:
    Male
    Local Time:
    9:42 PM
    I was off the cage after i developed some skin irritation for two weeks.. so what did i do with the two weeks..? I had sex! Ok, lousy sex. Pathetic sex.. that i lasted only 2mins.. it was just some ways my wife is gracious enough for me to reminicense over some things we did much earlier.. i was locked back soon after.. the freely jittering penis just need some home protection..
    Behaviour wise.. i never felt guilty as ever.. fearing that i might slip back into masturbatory mode behind her back again.. and that she has some telepathy to sense me out.. i dont want to repeat the ordeal…
     
  11. LesterBallard
    Offline

    LesterBallard Long term member

    Joined:
    Oct 2, 2016
    Messages:
    11,555
    Likes Received:
    4,495
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Management
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    United Kingdom
    Local Time:
    1:42 PM
    I use the honour system so seldom wear a cage and it's therefore not important to me. However, it's clear many men find a cage to be symbolically important and not having it affects the way they feel about chastity and submission.

    Therefore you may wish to think of a replacement symbol for him to wear to remind him of the status of your relationship. That could be wearing your panties, or an item of your jewellery. Anything that keeps you and his promise to you of submission at the forefront of his thinking.

    Good luck.
     
  12. starflyer
    Online

    starflyer Junior Member

    Joined:
    Mar 12, 2010
    Messages:
    1,854
    Likes Received:
    1,598
    Trophy Points:
    133
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    UK
    Local Time:
    1:42 PM
    yes makes me less submissive
     
  13. Rectrix
    Offline

    Rectrix Long term member

    Joined:
    Jul 8, 2010
    Messages:
    2,468
    Likes Received:
    5,035
    Trophy Points:
    133
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    US East Coast
    Local Time:
    8:42 AM
    Yes, absolutely. In the past two years I've had two periods where my cage was off for about four weeks. Both times I tried to remain chaste on the honor system but both times I gradually fell back into cumpulsively masturbating and lost my submissive perspective. I was still a beta male but didnt have the daily focus I need. I deserve and need my chastity cage. I'm not into piercings, but when I think about the upside of being permanently locked without any choice of removal, the 20- to 30-month healing and stretching period without my cage is a huge disincentive, I'd miss it so much. I think @Queens servant73 has a good suggestion for an emotional replacement of his cage.
     
    bondinchas and Queens servant73 like this.
  14. WillieBDenied
    Offline

    WillieBDenied All men should be locked

    Joined:
    Feb 21, 2021
    Messages:
    254
    Likes Received:
    394
    Trophy Points:
    73
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Software
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    San Diego, CA
    Local Time:
    5:42 AM
    No, the cage is a tool, not a magic wand.

    i was submissive before learning about cages and I am submissive without one. Wearing it does provide a constant reminder of who's in control and the frustration of straining against it is palpable, but so is being teased and denied with a free erection, sometimes more so at times.
     
    jshackleton2016 likes this.
  15. NEsubhub
    Offline

    NEsubhub Long term member

    Joined:
    Feb 3, 2021
    Messages:
    179
    Likes Received:
    1,212
    Trophy Points:
    123
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    USA Nebraska
    Local Time:
    7:42 AM
    Kinda like how different I feel when getting pegged while wearing lingerie versus just being naked.
    Wearing the cage does make a difference. When it's on, it's a constant reminder that someone else is in control. Also makes a difference when it's secured with a PA. Before he could slip out if he really wanted to. With the PA, that option of escape is gone. It affects you mentally and physically.
     
  16. King Hippo
    Offline

    King Hippo Long term member

    Joined:
    May 11, 2020
    Messages:
    2,434
    Likes Received:
    2,442
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    New Jersey
    Local Time:
    8:42 AM
    Doesn't make a difference to me, it is just nice to have it off... My wife has joked with me and said "I guess it is like taking your bra off after a long day and just laying down"

    I know you said you are seeing a change in his behavior while he is not wearing his chastity device, maybe you can make him wear or carry something else on him to stop the bratty behavior. It sounds like you need to give him some deterrent for his errant behavior... it could be as simple as making their life less convenient. After all, if there are no consequences people lead astray.

    Just make sure whatever you do isn't a "funishment"... If my wife ever wife by behavior, unacceptable I know my diet is going to change to the dreaded green vegetables for at least one meal or snack. Now that might not sound like a big deal to anyone, but I gag at the thought of eating something like broccoli; I can barely keep it down... it is quite the sight to see & I am sure it is amusing to watch.

    I don't mention this to talk about myself, I mention it because you know your partner better than anyone here. There must be something you can do to remind him to mind his P's & Q's.
     
  17. Xileh
    Offline

    Xileh Happily Serving

    Joined:
    Jun 4, 2018
    Messages:
    1,125
    Likes Received:
    2,136
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Gender:
    Male
    Local Time:
    5:42 AM
    Absolutely.

    When I am locked, it is a constant reminder of her dominant position and ownership. It is very comforting.

    When unlocked, I feel unmoored. I miss the attention, and feel a bit anxious. My submission starts to weaken and I don’t feel right.

    I manage all of those feelings, but it is not as satisfying as being in her constant embrace.
     
    Rectrix, bondinchas and borbulls1961 like this.
  18. Doug Scibor
    Offline

    Doug Scibor Long term member

    Joined:
    Aug 10, 2016
    Messages:
    499
    Likes Received:
    997
    Trophy Points:
    103
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Technical
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Atlanta, GA USA
    Local Time:
    8:42 AM
    When we first started chastity she was worried about me being comfortable and my time in the cage was measured in hours. As we have progressed, she is getting better with firm and solid NOs when I ask to be let out for anything other than something she wants (or obvious health issues).

    At this point, I cannot help but feel like there is something wrong with our relationship if she doesn't eagerly and adamantly insist that I go back in the cage. She has a service-minded perspective on the world around her, she is the mom who always feeds the ball team, she volunteers for nearly everything and she just wants everyone happy and well cared for.

    I know better and yet... I still want her to stand over me and demand the cage goes back on when I know her natural response is going to be "do whatever makes you happy, dear."
     
    Rectrix and borbulls1961 like this.
  19. sissywindsor
    Offline

    sissywindsor Active member

    Joined:
    Jul 17, 2021
    Messages:
    53
    Likes Received:
    151
    Trophy Points:
    33
    Occupation:
    retired
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    N Ireland
    Local Time:
    1:42 PM
    I'm never out long enough to find out ;):lock:
     
  20. SubSnuggler
    Offline

    SubSnuggler Owned by Mistress2and4you

    Joined:
    May 3, 2017
    Messages:
    1,064
    Likes Received:
    2,605
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    USA
    Local Time:
    7:42 AM
    I feel lost. It's a reminder (a welcome one) to me that I am owned and loved. My Wife doesn't often have to 'make me' lock up, as I tend to make sure I'm back in chastity whenever she is done with me.
     
  21. madams-sissysub
    Offline

    Joined:
    Apr 30, 2009
    Messages:
    8,578
    Likes Received:
    4,624
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    nurse
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    uk (west mids)
    Home Page:
    Local Time:
    1:42 PM
    I agree! I have always been submissive, it is a constant reminder of your position and place.
     
    Queens kept likes this.
  22. Trapped
    Offline

    Trapped Long term member

    Joined:
    Dec 8, 2020
    Messages:
    309
    Likes Received:
    589
    Trophy Points:
    103
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    quality manager
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    houston, texas
    Local Time:
    7:42 AM
    Mistress, After I was circumcised I was uncaged about 6 weeks. My wife asked every other day when she could resecure her property. She did not care for my general attitude and lack of submissiveness. I can also see now I look back. I think If I could see it, then She most definitely see it 10 fold. That may be why I am 168 days since being relocked. She just prefers this version of me.
     
    petevans, ugams, Rectrix and 5 others like this.
  23. ChasteHubby2015
    Offline

    ChasteHubby2015 Male Feminist

    Joined:
    Nov 23, 2015
    Messages:
    662
    Likes Received:
    806
    Trophy Points:
    103
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    USA
    Local Time:
    7:42 AM
    Most certainly, there’s a big difference between “I won’t masturbate” and “I can’t masturbate”. My only suggestion is to let him know that you’re monitoring him closely and will punish him severely for any attempts to pleasure himself. Get him caged as soon as it’s fully healed.
     
    ugams, petevans and Queens kept like this.
  24. SubSnuggler
    Offline

    SubSnuggler Owned by Mistress2and4you

    Joined:
    May 3, 2017
    Messages:
    1,064
    Likes Received:
    2,605
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    USA
    Local Time:
    7:42 AM

    100% this. I'm of the opinion no matter the dynamic, any masturbation that ends in unauthorized release should be met with corrective action. It's a breach of trust. I've done it a couple times myself, usually by accident by edging too aggressively. It's important to make sure the chastised man stays chaste.
     
  25. Anonymouse
    Offline

    Anonymouse Active member

    Joined:
    Jul 20, 2022
    Messages:
    69
    Likes Received:
    20
    Trophy Points:
    8
    Local Time:
    5:42 AM
    Not sure if I should even reply here, since I'm solo...

    Personally, when my cage is off, I'm depressed, aggravated, stressed, angry, etc.

    I have no desire to have any kind of orgasm, and normally when not in the cage, I edge. Like, a lot.

    But again, I think I do chastity for a different reason than 99% of other people...
     
  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice