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Question for the boys

Discussion in 'The Tower' started by thekeyholderwife, Jul 15, 2016.

  1. For those of you who are not allowed to have regular sex, meaning you are not allowed inside your wife, how does it feel long term? I need to know.
  2. At times you feel abandoned, lonely, left out..... quite sad. Can start to doubt things, wonder if it is what I want really. Question the price and sacrifice.

    An feel quite blue and depressed.....it is not a natural thing to be denied....

    But there are highs, can feel proud. Nice to please ones better half, and when you do have the moment it is extra special.

    You do get use to the denial, after a while you do forget about it for periods of time...
  3. I have great relationship with my GF.
    Chastity used to be part of our kinky play, now it's part of my life.
    We still have sex, but not too often. There are times I feel frustrated specialy when she teases me with what I can't have.
    shortnsissy and LeadingLady like this.
  4. Hello keyholderwife.
    Well, I have not been inside my Wife/Mistress/Keyholder for almost 3 years now and not had an orgasm from penile stimulation of any sort in the same timeframe. I do miss it. She has seems to do so well without me that I do harbor much doubt about whether she actually ever enjoyed that at all. We are monogamous so whether she is getting it elsewhere is not a factor. It does play into the suspicions I have always had that she always wanted a man for family and companionship but at the end of the day that she is immensely turned on by lesbian sex and women, hence her passive but calculated use of my crossdressing fetish to help transform me into her "girlfriend" while maintaining my manhood for all to see perhaps? Anyway, it does make me feel somewhat insecure...I am a pleaser and want to keep her happy sexually and she claims that she is VERY happy with the way we interact sexually (very much like 2 women! )....lots of grinding, cuddling, holding & massaging. She has her vibrators and I have my anal toys, the nipples God gave me and a collection of hosiery, panties, heels, a dress, a leotard and a unitard, a corset, a black dress and my trusty razor to keep my body virtually hairless (at her behest) and feeling smooth (feminine?). We ARE very connected, but it does take something away...even if she just let me take her with a strap on once in a while I would feel better...or if she just came out and told me she did not want PIV and that giving her things the way I do (like a lesbian woman would do) is FAR better for her then maybe the insecurity would fade. I always wonder though. Perhaps if she was more of a communicator I would not feel this way. Who knows. It is funny tho, when I see a woman who turns me on now I dont wonder what it would be like to have intercourse or receive oral from her...I am conditioned to the point that I fantasize about worshipping her, I.e. giving her oral if I were allowed, worshipping her feet, massaging her and doing whatever she would ask of me....yeah its weird, "Man, I would love to go down on her!" or "Oh my God, look at those perfectly pedicured toes dying to be sucked!" rolls through my head...I rarely think about my penis anymore. Anyway, I hope this gives you some insight.

  5. Exactly agree with this. I sometimes fantasize about a woman I see wrapping her legs round my face and pulling me in for oral. I never think about penetration. After two years of no penetration my mind is rewired now to consider cunnilingus as "regular sex" and I don't really think about penile sex at all. I'm very horny a lot of the time as I'm locked 24/7 but I don't feel like expressing it in the standard way. My wife never comments on my locked state, it's just normal. From her point of view my penis is irrelevant. When spooning in bed she runs her hand down my chest to within an inch of the top of the cage, but goes no further as "there is nothing to feel". She gets orgasms on demand and I get to enjoy real intimacy between her legs.
  6. For me, it's in the context of no other sexual involvement at all: no oral, anal,manual, cuckholding,etc, she simply seems to have zero interest in sex. It's quite depressing and likely may have inspired some of my drinking in the past few years (I'm working on cutting back considerably) .

    I imagine it would be a bit more bearable of there was at least some sexual context to it, but still frustrating.
    Dana Fleming likes this.
  7. After not being able to cum for a couple of months you kind of get used to it. For me the highs and euphoric feeling I get after a good T&D session or after I've please my Mistress/wife makes it worth while. Cumming feels great don't get me wrong, but the lows and somewhat lethargic state for days and sometimes weeks afterwards can be rough to a sub. I think it would be a LOT harder on me if my Mistress didn't give me daily T&D or allow me to please her. The attention makes it easier and provides fuel to go longer without cumming.
  8. Part of my feminine side is to engage in lesbian type lovemaking. No PIV sex at all. Our lovemaking has become much more intense and, in some ways, more "personal" than the old "wham-Bam-Thank-You-Ma'm" PIV sex of the past. It is more an expression of our love for each other - beyond the momentary physical event that used to culminate in a squirt.
    LeadingLady and danijean001 like this.
  9. That is how our intimacy goes when we entwine ourselves or simply cuddle. My Wife/Mistress/Keyholder more readily fondles my pecs as if they were breasts, caresses my abs which are not too bad still for a guy my age or strokes my usually hose covered legs and ass and occasionally pulls at the leather straps on my plug harness (it is a strap on harness but she has no desire for me to snap in a dildo...I have tried and I get "What is that for...I dont need that." She is so adept she can ride atop me and grind herself to orgasm on my pubic bone without even nudging my device.
    I think I almost forget what the warmth of her mouth my upon my penis feels like as well as the tight grip of her warm pussy not to mention the feeling of my balls pulling up tightly and the pulsing feeling of an ejaculation (anal orgasms are completely different). That said, the electric charge I feel course through my body when she is atop me with me pinned to the bed beneath her (she is a tall, substantial woman---think Geena Davis/Brooke Shields) while she shudders and bucks through one of her orgasms as she grinds away makes me feel like I am experiencing her climax too. I end up wrapping my arms around her and pulling her tightly too me in submissive fashion and begging her in a not so manly way (I guess) to "do it for me" or "let me feel it" or simply "cum for me baby". The moments afterward as she lays upon me motionless with her dead weight, lightly perspiring and emitting her scent of sex actually make me forget all about everything. I usually do not think about myself at all until she rolls off of me in guy fashion and heads to the bathroom and returns to bed and wants to roll over and sleep like a hibernating bear (like the stereotypical guy). This is when the cold wetness sets in from all of the precum in my panties or pantyhose or on my hose covered thighs and my mind screams for relief of my own and I either play with my small, but perky and swollen nipples (from arousal) and hump the mattress with my ass to work the plug within me or maybe I hint at some nipple attention from her...I don't even ask to have any attention to my penis. Maybe I am conditioned by now? The afterglow is amazing, and sometimes it puts me in subspace but that is when I think about what I no longer get and the phrase "be careful what you wish" for echoes in my head along with "what have I allowed myself to get into." I know I could end it all, but I also know I am hooked and could not stay away from it and that I would be crawling back.

  10. It totally depends on the other activities that are occurring. The more I am allowed to "serve" her orally and there she edges me makes it easier as opposed to harder. The "lock and leave" approach is the worst and leaves me depressed.
  11. Periods of "locked and left" are the WORST. They depress and anger me and make me regret what I have let myself get into.

  12. What @allaboutHer@allaboutHer said is so true. I get the same feelings if there are periods with no intimacy at all. Usually takes about two weeks before that kicks in.
    I can speak to what it feels like to be denied orgasm long term, but I don't know what it's like to not be inside her long term. "Regular sex" for us is usually penetration, just without me having an orgasm. As long as that intimacy is still there then denial is bearable, if not desirable.
    cmoore2001 and LeadingLady like this.
  13. For me as others here have already stated, the worse thing is to be locked and ignored. I have though learned not to bother the Mrs about such. It just irritates her and then she is not pleased with me. And that does not bode well for me because then she will hardly even acknowledge me or the fact that I'm locked up. After we talked about things, an agreement resulted. I promised not to bug her about anything to do with me being locked and she will tease me 2 or 3 times a day. Now this could be anything from a sweet whisper in my ear to a slap on my butt or grabbing my locked package and making some humiliating comment. When she allows me a release to cum, well it can take any form that she wishes. From PIV sex, which only occurs once or twice a year---maybe? or a wank however she wants, on her breasts, her bum or in a dish for me to consume when finished. She reminds me my releases and and orgasms are for her entertainment and hers alone. For me when I am allowed to cum it is incredible, truly awesome. This makes my time in lock up bearable. This only happens once she is fully satisfied and then only then if she is still in the mood to be entertained by me. Well that's my ramble and 2 cents worth. Not sure if I answered your question......but this is the way it is for us and it works. As frustrating as it can be.......
  14. More than anything else, a sub craves attention from his Mistress. It is easier said than done, however, believe it or not, you mentally adjust to the shortage of Sex.
    cmoore2001 and LeadingLady like this.
  15. I can relate to this feeling exactly. Before chastity, I would lust after a pretty woman and think about raw PIV sex with her. However, since being locked up for so long, now I only think about giving her oral and fingering her and worshiping her body while I stay locked up. But soon after I think about that another woman, my thoughts quickly return to my beautiful girlfriend and worshiping her and doing as she commands. I only wish she would have me service her more often.
    danijean001 and Dana Fleming like this.
  16. That is not something I can do. I need to be able to enter her and enjoy her. She is my wife,my lover my best friend. I can be locked for a while and please her how ever she wants and enjoy the closeness we have when I am locked in the cage,but every few weeks or so I need to be allowed to enter her. Also the first release does not always feel that great.i need about 3 to get things working to feel great. I can stay locked in the cage every day with no problems but I need to be let out to play every so often even if I have to go right back in the cage as soon as we are done.i like to let her decide when I am allowed out to play,without me knowing when that day will be. She has that control,but like I said I still need to be allowed to enter her every few weeks. We have been married 31 years, and I think this would be more important for a young couple,to keep there marriage intimate and fresh.
    shortnsissy, Shaggy and Dana Fleming like this.
  17. Always love your post KeyHolderWife this one included.
    Your chaste husband has now been taken to a dimension well beyond the psychological effect of simply not being allowed penetration of the wife he loves.

    He now has to endure the knowledge or at least question whether his beloved has found a cock & a man that she perhaps prefers more than him. And to top all that off he has now had his 3 authority figure that control his destiny force him to orally service this same, free cock.

    He is in deep and no doubt questioning his future.
    LeadingLady likes this.
  18. I have not been alowed for over a year and a I haven't been alowed a proper ogasm do as long .it seems the longer it goes the more turned on I become with the denial I have also noticed I no longer enjoy penal stimulation as much as I use to as it is so sensitive now as i dosnt get unlocked very often may be twice a year ,and I would only last a few seconds now lol
    But I have become to really enjoy anal stimulation as this lasts so long and I can have multiple mini type orgasms while pleasuring my wife I so love the way things are :)
    Mastrovenice likes this.
  19. It's a very humbling feeling honestly. It makes you want to comply and serve her in any way possible even if you know deep down that you won't be allowed sex. It also makes me realize that she's pretty serious about putting her needs first. I think you're doing the right thing.
    shortnsissy, cmoore2001 and joe01 like this.
  20. i don't have a problem with it. as long as we cuddle and i'm allowed to make sure Mistress has orgasms in other ways - i don't mind being denied.
    LeadingLady likes this.
  21. There has to be something in it to replace the regular sex. It's one thing to be denied and teased about it, it's quite another to be completely ignored. Sorry for what you're going through and I wish I had some sort of words of encouragement to offer.
  22. Thank you for all of your responses. Many of you know me by now. The question was asked to help gauge what I am doing. It is hard for him to convey his feelings at times with this situation because at times he is very turned on and at others very annoyed with being denied. Our sexual adventure with Jen and her boyfriend are numbered. I have known this from the beginning. Not because of anything between us but because I just wanted to live out a fantasy that has gripped me since I was a young girl. I have one last fantasy and then it will be just me and my husband and occasionally Jen. I won't say what that is right now. After all that ends though, I am trying to decide what I want out of my husband sexually and what Inwill allow him to have and how often.

    Again, thank you so much for the input. It has really helped.
    Pehart, Helena, LeadingLady and 10 others like this.
  23. If I may ma'am, I'd like to share with you my feelings from a man's perspective, as I think it'll help you. First of all, I think you're doing the absolute right thing with regards to the one on one relationship and interaction you have with your husband. If there are times in which he's annoyed with being denied, then I can assure you that it's perfectly normal. It actually means you're doing thing right because it means you're in control even when he doesn't wish to comply with your control, it will serve as a periodic reminder to him on the true meaning of submission.

    Believe it or not, even if we men are turned on by chastity, there are times in which we legitimately want out, but what we really want deep down and don't always admit is a woman who will not give in to any of our desires to be let out of our devices. As long as he's allowed to be intimate with you (e.g. touch you, massage you, kiss you, pleasure you orally) then if, when, and how he's allowed out of his caged ft whatever reason is totally up to you to decide and he will accept it regardless. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I think you're doing everything right and if there are times he wants out and you don't allow it, then that to me is very normal and expected and indicates a very healthy FLM.

    Remember ma'am, male chastity isn't about what the man wants, it's about what the woman wants. What the man really wants is to merely serve the woman under whatever rules she decides. There will be times we love it and willingly comply and there will be times we hate it and have to be forced into compliance. That's the only way to make this work and deep down he wants you to be strong and resist his annoyance at being denied. It reminds me of that time he wanted out and you firmly stood your ground and said no, then he came back later and apologized. I think you handled that situation perfectly.
  24. What classifies as the lock and leave approach?
  25. Kind of the time capsule approach: Lock it up, put it away, never speak of it again for 20 years. No teasing, no attention, no occasional edging or fondles. But sometimes also simultaneously no request/demand of sexual services for the keyholder either.

    Basically, not interactive and not even remotely fun.