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Question for All

Discussion in 'Chastity and orgasm denial' started by WEC, Oct 10, 2017.

  1. Especially Ladies...So I am on day 4 of self lock / honor system...starting to feel "good". My wife sort of knows but its not on her radar. She's on her period. I'm trying to think of ways to be close to her and pamper her tonight, maybe signal to her that its been a while, but that its a good thing, make her question whether she WANTS me to orgasm, and without seeming "weird". (as noted in other posts last time I was overwhelmed and over-did it) One problem is that lately we are transitioning directly to bed for TV after the kids go down, so she's under the covers and not natural to offer a foot rub or back rub. Curious if anyone has a good thought or two on some ways I can pamper her without triggering a fear response like "holy cow what's happening to my husband?"

    (she does know I am generally more submissive and into T&D, though we have not talked about it in a while)

    Thanks!!
     
  2. One way that I've found to Pamper her but not to get that shocking response. Is to do things around your home that you don't normally do that you know she'd like. This is different with every person so it's very hard to say what you can do. These are things that have no sexual or physical connection to her. For example, some things I did was to organize the closets, create a private massage room, keep the kitchen neat and tidy, if you think about it you'll find something that she would appreciate.
     
    Keuschling likes this.
  3. yeah I don't think she will be impressed with how long you have gone. I think she would be more impressed with a clean house, clean kitchen. Anything that would make her day easier and less stressful.
     
    PrincessK and MadamBelle like this.
  4. Just out of curiosity when you say that your wife "kind of knows" are you referring to being in your chastity device or do you mean she knows it's been a few days since your last O? My mistress and I run into the same issue as you as far as when our toddler goes to bed we end up in our bed right after usually watching TV until we fall asleep. Although I'd love to have some play time with her or her allow me to pleasure her a lot of times she's just way to tired after putting in a full day of study and homework for her masters degree. If anything she will usually want some sort of massage or foot rub or something which I am certainly wanting to give her. There's nothing wrong with you offering to give her a good rub down and showing her you want to pamper her. I'm not sure if any women who would be upset by that.

    If she's not really aware of your self locking but knows you have a chastity fetish you really should talk to her more about it. Help her understand what chastity does for you and then explain how chastity can be beneficial to her and your overall relationship. I'm sure you have other motives and goals but the only goal that really matters is what is the benefit to your wife and you make that the center of your chastity foundation. If it were me I would avoid discussing these things while she is on her period as her hormonal levels are out of balance and she's probably a bit more emotional than usual. It wouldn't hurt to have something that could help enlighten your wife as well as your self such as a new key holders booklet for beginners. 3 years ago I bought my wife a book titled "male chastity" by Lucy Fairbourn. Before I gave her the book I tried explaining chastity to her and the benefits but I didn't fully understand chastity with all the ins and outs. She wasn't as interested (although intrigued) in my explanation but when I gave her the book and she read it, she was all in after reading it, it only took her about 45 min. It helped to have male chastity explained from the female perspective. Another good book is again "Male chastity" but written by Mistress Jules who is also a moderator on this website. if your wife is more vanilla these are good books because the way the author speaks to the reader and they don't go real heavy on the dominatrix stuff.

    Anyway if you want to show her you're seriousy about the lifestyle then you should show her you are by giving the foot rubs and back rubs, make dinner for the family so she doesn't have to, do the laundry, do the dishes, make an effort to take her out on a date (I know it's tough because I have a kid too) and just do whatever that will make her life easier and her appreciate you more. The only way that I've found chastity to work well is with open communication with each other.
     
    MadamBelle likes this.
  5. I'm my own worst enemy because honestly I already do most of the chore things. We both work and we split duties but I do all of the cooking and a lot of the cleaning. And my wife has a thing about me not doing her chores. I am a pretty damn good husband actually. ;)
     
  6. Ha! I hear ya man I'm my own worst enemy too. My mistress and I have been at this for 3 years and any progress that's been lost is always my fault. This last month has been the most fun for my mistress but we haven't had any time to enjoy each other or play out our roles sexually. So in the meantime I've been perfecting my role outside the bedroom to show her I'm serious about being her submissive servant. She enjoys being my mistress and has told me so several times so I'm hoping when time allows she'll want to explore her dominance further and take our FLR even further. The key is patience and I literally have to remind myself of that everyday. If you're wife is unsure about the lifestyle it wouldn't hurt to get her one of the books I mentioned above just for a bit more insight. My mistress and I used to split the chores equally as well but with her new school schedule I've had to really step it up and she's noticed and really appreciates my efforts. Now she's getting used to it and likes that she doesn't have to lift a finger in regards to chores or cooking. She's referred to me as her housewife a few time and I have to say I really enjoy her calling me that. Anyway good luck to you and I hope it'll work out for the two you, it's been great for my mistress and my marriage.
     
  7. If you're looking for something to do actually in the bedroom one thing I'd suggest is folding laundry. My wife and I also split chores pre-FLR days, but she did 99% of the laundry. One night she sat in bed watching TV and I went and got a load of clothes out of the dryer and folded them on the bed. She watched me smiling and eventually said "I like this". She might say she likes her chores, but if you work while she relaxes it makes an impression. I also find it's good to ask her if she wants anything. i.e. Mistress, may I get you a drink while you watch TV? or Would you like me to bring you your coffee in bed in the morning at the usual time?
     
  8. offer a back rub or foot rub?
     
  9. When the kids are down run her a bath. Light some candles and tell her you have a surprise for her.

    It’s not for both of you, uit’s for her so keep your pants on buddy.

    My kh loves me washing her hair and rubbing her scalp, neck and shoulders.

    Make sure the bathroom and tub are clean, roll a towel up to lay her head on, get her something to drink, and leave.

    When she is done and returns to go to bed, have her lie down so you can give her a massage and put lotion on. Don’t over do it, and keep it sensual not sexual. Then when your done, give her a smootch on her butt and say I hope you liked it, and continue life as normal.
     
  10. Yep that's very nice! Regarding my pants, Like most of us I derive a lot of pleasure from providing her with some. No problem :cool:
     
  11. Playing a little "chastity chess" here...I would say I will save this idea for a few days after she is actually holding the key. :cool:
     
  12. 5 days...Gave her a 30 minute foot / calf massage last night over some "Game of Thrones"...that was nice and she appreciated it. at least a half hour of cuddling this am. Good stuff.
     
    ineverknew likes this.
  13. Today is tough actually. Probably since we had a nice night and morning. I am light headed, butterflies, and lots of emotions. Totally different than yesterday. I will have to concentrate to act "normal" and not fire off a crazy email contemplating my love and devotion to my wife that is too over the top for her. Argh!
     
  14. I like being stroked very gently and lightly all over. Until I fall asleep.
     
    WEC and jemmi like this.