I would love to hear from both those placed in chastity as well as those whom placed them there. - What was it like for you when that cage was being put on? - When the lock was clicked shut (or the security screws put in place)? - When the hands doing the securing departed and the deed was done? - What were the thoughts during the moments afterwards? - Guys: How did you deal with the fact your favorite toy was now someone else's? - Gals: How did it feel to take that favorite toy away? And of course, please feel free to share anything else that might have been triggered physically, emotionally or spiritually. This is going to be my reality shortly … and so naturally, I am quite curious.
I always had my hand down my pants and would masturbate often my gf said she didn't like that I said the only way to stop it is chastity cage, I never wanted to be locked up. She said buy a cage we should try, Now I am locked and denied we have sex sometimes but I don't get any release. I could cause a fuss about it but she really likes it I guess it is her kink When I first got locked and she hid the key I thought I would have a heart attack, I got very anxious, she let me out for a spell and tried it over and over until I got accustomed to it. I would rather be free I am too Alhpa but she loves it so.
The first time I had the cage on, it was by myself and that was just a matter of finding the correct size rings, spacers, etc to get a good fit. I then wore it for an hour or so, here and there as I adjusted to it. The first time that my Mistress had me put it on and then, took control, applied the lock and clicked it shut was remarkable. She then showed me both of the keys and I realized that I was really helpless and at Her mercy. That was a couple of years ago. We went for long term lockups of 30 days or more and found that, after a while, She would just forget about my situation and become bored. Now, I have to put the cage on each morning as I step from the shower and She locks me up and clicks it shut, giving a me a confirming tug - just so I remember my place. Then, when She returns from work or after dinner, She will unlock me for the evening. We have determined that, for us, the cage has really just evolved as a method of wank prevention in Her absence and She keeps a close eye on me at other times.
i dint like it first cos the first cage hurt a bit and after it had been on me abit the ring hurt. anyways it split in bed one nite and pinch me. Then Mistress got me another one that was littler but it was lots better and dint hurt me.
I always thought that the Honor System was less about 'playing with myself' and more about 'stopping before I came'. Boy, was I wrong. Mistress and I agreed that all my orgasms should be with her - and I honored that as much as I could. There were 'slips' from time to time when my 'need' won over my 'discipline'. We had also agreed that any time I masturbated it should be done while looking in her eyes. She wanted to make sure that I was looking only at her when i did this. If I gazed away, my 'playtime' instantly ended! [Of course looking in her eyes was nearly impossible when she would start, clothed or not, touching or exposing herself! She never said, but I am certain she knew I would fail - and loved when I did - haha.] My honoring this part of my masturbation diminished as time went on because I could always find an opportunity to check out some porn & stick my hand down my pants. She knew I did this from 'time to time' ... and tended to look the other way. Her thought was you are just going to make yourself more crazy but, okay. Well, when she caught me the other week playing with myself ... that was a game changer. My 'weakness' is being replaced with her 'strength'.
Just about every job I have had is 'crisis oriented' and I am in a Leadership or Alpha role. At the end of the day I am sick of being in charge or calling the shots. Psychologically, I am sure its why at the end of of the work day I want to turn over control to my Mistress. Putting myself at her mercy for any sexual gratification has always had an appeal. Plus, I love to serve her so 'working for a reward' is no effort ... its a labor of love.
It was my idea to get a device - I knew my discipline was failing at the honor system - I was going to self lock to eliminate the convenience of masturbating ... not necessarily make it impossible. Getting caught 'with my hand in my pants' need up with her telling me she wanted to hold on to the keys. The thought of not being able to orgasm on my own is one thing - its gonna be difficult - especially when I am really wanting. Not being able to 'play with myself' at all ... thats the part that I am going to have the most trouble with.
@jemima ... Yes - I have heard stories of ill-fitting devices & I really want to avoid that! I painstakingly took measurements for a week in all sorts of situations & conditions - hot, warm, cold, waking up, going to sleep, middle of the night, starting to feel aroused, moderately aroused, etc, etc, etc ... Ms. Lori & I painstakingly went through all of them (I'm sure I drove her nuts!). We came up with plan we both felt good about. Its on order ... time will tell.
My first time I had to put it on myself early in the evening while my wife watched. This wasn’t easy as I found it extremely arousing with her watching me. She then took the key from me. Neither of us had ever experienced chastity before. The most memorable part was later in bed when she decided to tease me and whisper in my ear the I couldn’t touch myself of get hard as she ran her fingers lightly over it. I was then told to use my tounge to bring her to orgasm. After this to my surprise she told me it was time to go to sleep and I would remain locked . That was the first time of feeling the thrill of being locked up , bursting to get out, controlled and denied. I really felt under her control. We’ve had plenty of chastity adventures since but I will never forget the first feeling of denial as throbbed all night in my cage.
Yes . She won’t talk about it too much but loves being in control and loves to tease. She’s very good at draping her nylon clad legs over me when I’m locked up. When I am allowed some relief I’m usually made to face the wall either in silence or gagged while she relieves me with her hands! I think chastity has been a good discovery for us !
I am told that I am 'high maintenance' so she has to come up with rules to keep me from being 'too much trouble' - haha. She doesn't want to hear me beg or even ask politely for a release (I am supposed to silently wait until she wants me to have one). She doesn't want to expend much of her energy on my 'rewards' so its rarely 'at her hands' ... its at mine when she allows it ... and then looking only in her eyes. Of course she tempts me to look elsewhere - and if/when I do, my opportunity for a reward ends. Keep me denied for months if you want - I would not trade any of this for a vanilla life.
When my wife first attempted to put my Holy Trainer V3 on she had no idea what to do. She instructed me to put it one my wee wee while she supervised. Once I had it on she was the one that put the magic lock into place and to turn the key. Afterwards she pulled my pink Rearz diaper up over it and that was that.
Chastity was my idea. My wife is OK with it now but for a long time she had a tough time "getting her head around it". I know that she likes that I can no longer walk around the house using a penis pump and that I have taken over more of the household chores. I no longer masturbate unless I am directed to do so. I even suggest that she take, as we call it, PT - personal time, while I do dishes or whatever. She is overly kind to me, sometimes requiring me to remove my cage before going to bed. Every day I remove it while I shower and she determines which one I am to wear for the day. She sometimes locks me which is great, but really has never put a cage completely on me. She did read one of the books for keyholders and commented that she could never be as mean as the author implied a KH had to be. Sometimes she is even reluctant to do much tease and denial, but I am hoping that will change. I guess coming from a very vanilla background, I shouldn't expect (nor want for that matter) too dramatic a change in her. I love her so much, and I keep reinforcing the idea that my parts are now under her control - she can do or have me do with them what she wants.
My experience with Ms Lori was almost identical to yours @jemima and I felt the same like I was driving her crazy. But she was very patient and discussed each measurement right down to a 1/16th of an inch and made recommdations based on her vast experience. I had purchased one of her cages used from someone and it just didn't work out. I might caution anyone considering a pre-owned device to be very careful and be sure about the measurements. Sure, you might save money and get around the long wait for delivery of a cage built specifically for you, but in the long run you might end up spending more money and waiting longer to get a device that fits perfectly. My new cage should be here within two weeks and my wife and I are so excited. With Ms Lori's help, we are confident that it is going to fit much better than our first.
At some point I suspect - everybody doesn't know what to do. Thats what life is in part for me - identifying what I need/want & learning to incorporate it. I am finding that CM is a wonderful place to have my eyes & mind opened ... and to learn!
@Peter South Similar for me - I got my wife/Mistress into TND 25 years ago - she indulged me at first but slowly came around to enjoying it in her own right. When I explained why I wanted a chastity cage, she still having some trouble getting her head wrapped around it. I doubt it will be long before she embraces this too. "Servitude with a smile" was something I was trained to do by my original Mistress (college days). I am pretty sure that I was a classic Pavlov Experiment; you want to have an orgasm? you'll have to do all this first. It really didn't take long before one desire was replaced by another - it could not bring me enough pleasure to do all the chores so she can relax.
@Retiredinaz Ms. Lori was indeed beyond supportive & tolerant. She of all people must know that a good fit is essential - and it will take what it takes to achieve that. I went with her device because her awareness & understanding of the male psychology is amazingly accurate. Moreover, I see her approach to all this come from a place where she wants both men & women to have a more honest and intimate relationship. From my viewpoint, she takes her role in this quite seriously and has built up a very respectable reputation. My device should be here in about a week.
My device was supposed to be delivered by New Years Eve, but with no promises. I email Ms Lori on Jan 3 and was informed that there were still 11 in front of me before my #8a was completed & shipped. That would probably make you 8 or 9, so you were about 3 ahead of my. We can compare notes on first lockup in our new devices.
@Retiredinaz Maybe I am being too hopeful for the 'about a week' ... didn't know the waiting list was as long as it was. Thanks for the heads up. Compare notes; absolutely!
When was your order placed and confirmed with all final measurements agreed upon? My payment was made in full by Oct 5th, measurements were finalized by the 12th. That should give you an idea where you sit. Apparently Ms Lori had a lot of Christmas orders.