Punishment Ideas

Discussion in 'Female led relationships' started by masandmiss, Dec 23, 2019.

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  1. masandmiss
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    masandmiss New member

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    Hi everyone, i put my boyfriend in chastity in a Cb6000. The rules are that i take off the device only for sex and he can cum only 2 times a week. The worst part of this is that my boyfriend asks me every moment if i can unlock him or make him cum. This is very disappointing for me and i don't know what to do. Any suggestions? Thank you!
    P.s: maybe he's right and i have to be more generous!
     
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  2. Cagedandinlove
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    Cagedandinlove Active member

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    Initially it will be much easier for him and for you if you have a long break in period where he has to wear it for say a month or more.. tell him this is how it is and no exception, this way you can easily say no...he will have to find other ways to satisfy you while he gets used to it. My mistress done this we are new to it but have been cageg for over 4 months without release and she loves the way the relationship is going, sure she has not found out all the benefits but she will in time.
     
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  3. Daniel82
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    Daniel82 Submissive beginner

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    My experience says that you should not be more generous with the O:s. But don’t leave him without attention in between. Tease him a lot and deny him a lot. Then he will feel your interest in him continuously. And in that way he can wait longer and longer between release. When you get to around 2 weeks, magic will happen. Then you will have a very tender, loving, thankful, boyfriend who is prepared to do anything for you.

    When I got released to often I was just the way your boyfriend is. Moody, demanding and nagging. In my opinion 2 weeks is minimum to get a good experience out of it both for me and my KH.

    good luck.
     
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  4. Mistress Kathrine
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    Mistress Kathrine New member

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    Hello masandmiss.
    I'm furious reading these lines.
    If you put your boyfriend in chastity means that he wanted to be in chastity so you have the POWER to do what you want with him. You have the key of his cock, you decide and he has to obey without saying a word.
    You're too much generous make him cum 2 times a week!
    I put my husband in chastity and since that moment sex has been become amazing, he is continuously horny but he does what i say!!
    First of all you have to make your bf understand his role. Next time he ask you to unlock him you have to punish him and he'll never ask to you that, trust me. Make him kneel in front of you and kiss your feet as a sign of submission, do it very often, so he'll understand his role and you have a nice feet worship. Then you have to punish him, my favourite punishment for my husband are:
    . Make him do all the housechores
    . Tie and leave him in a very uncomfortable position
    . He has to stand in the corner for hours
    . Give up his vices for some time
    One of the best is make him wear pantyhose and panties under is boy clothes. It's very humaliating for him and very funny for you, try it.
    These are soft punishment, if he insists you can make him sleep naked on the floor for a week, or try to plug him.
    You have to take the power in this situation, then things will be more easy and hotter for you and i can ensure you that sex with him will be amazing and always better! Let me know.
    Kathrine
     
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  5. GermanSub82
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    GermanSub82 Long term member

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    I think there’s an easy way, with the rules you already have in place:
    He asks to be unlocked and made to cum, you tell him, that because of him asking, the first planned release will be canceled, and thus this week will only have one release.
    If he complains, just cancel the second one as well, if he asks again, just cancel the second one. I am sure, he will very eagerly and quickly learn...
     
  6. Chaste J.
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    Chaste J. Long term member

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    I remember back when we first started out with chastity, Mrs Chaste had unlocked me for proper sex (not any more!). Now I've always been a "gentleman" if you like, in as much that I would always wait for Mrs Chaste to orgasm before myself. Now on this occasion she was "satisfied" and it was my "turn". So as I was getting near I said to Mrs Chaste "I'm going to cum!" "No your not!" She said and pushed me off of her! Well I couldn't believe it, but there you go, unbelievable! I wasn't allowed to "finish" at all. Once I had settled down I was locked back up! Of course I doubt it would happen now! As soon as I'm "inside" Mrs Chaste these days (very rarely indeed) I just explode. Mrs Chaste finds it very amusing! After all she always ensures that she has had at least one orgasm herself before releasing me! Be strong and deny him access to his cock! If he asks just say no! Mrs Chaste prefers my tongue, her vibrator and her strap on rabbit to the real thing these days! Mostly I think because instead of 1 orgasm she has 2 or 3 at a time! Have fun!
     
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  7. Xileh
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    Xileh Happily Serving

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    The point of chastity is not to cum.

    Before you can ask for an answer to your question, you need to first decide why you put him in chastity, and what do you want out of it?

    Is chastity just for fun, or are you looking to seriously control his orgasms and perhaps assume a more dominant role? If your goal is to be in charge, then follow the suggestions offered. Longer lockup’s and less attention from you are very powerful responses to misbehavior.

    Your best course of action may be to become verified so you can ask the other Keyholders these questions. They are the source for the best advice.

    Good luck!
     
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  8. John
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    John Member

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    Simply app more time eat time he asks until he stop you are I control. That’s what he provoking you to show your power. Add a week for asking! Personally 2 times a week is too often first get desperate after a week or so. Let him feel you are in control will turn him on and learn to make him behave. You will gain so much confidence from saying “no” and make him do things at home in hopes he will get released. Take the power it is yours :)
     
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  9. DrPinotNoir
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    DrPinotNoir Active member

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    (I am making the assumption he came up with this) If so..If you thought it up and he went along willingly I am not sure how this will work. (This is if he wanted this and you are like. Fine whatever..) So what you are going to hear is me reading about 12 books of various flavors on this. Then giving my wife of 25 years 3 of the books. Some were way too graphic for her so I filtered that My wife is never going to be into cross dressing, cuckolding. She wont seriously hurt me even if I ask for it. Here is the thing. You have one thing that is the nuclear option. You can stop participating in chastity period. If this was his idea and he wanted this that is your nuclear option. "I dont want to do this anymore" That will stop ANY of the guys on this board cold in their tracks. However before you get there. Depending on who he is. Id try this. Id look over at him and say. "That is enough. You arent to ask me about this again today. If you do I am going to punish you. then when he pushes because if he is like me he will test you" Id have a plan. You into spanking? (If so that is easy. A big hair brush or a spatula bend him over your knee or the couch and whip his ass. 25 times will get the message across."Did you understand why I spanked you? Good now sit down and dont talk about it again." Dont want to spank? That is ok too. You stand up.. you take him to another room. tell him to stand in the corner with his nose on the wall and NOT move" Come back in 15 minutes. "Have you learned your lesson?" dont like that. Give him a pen and paper. Write 50 times I will not beg (whatever you want him to call you, Your name, Mistress, Queen (my wife loves this). Goddess etc. He doesnt comply with any of those three things. Hand him the key. "you obviously arent serious about this so I am not playing anymore"

    Boom problem solved. You are at the brink of something that might be awesome for you. Id pick up a few of the books on amazon. depending on your level of interest and how this came to your attention that will make a difference in which book you want to read. I read quite a few. they all say the same thing.

    YOU are in charge.
    YOU determine when he has sex. When he comes. That is what chastity is. Maybe he just wants to play a sex game. I think YOU have the power to do whatever you want if this was his idea.
     
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  10. Giacomo
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    Giacomo Active member

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    I totally agree with Miss Kathrine. Once I was like your boyfriend often asking for a release. It’s normal being not addicted first periods. Step by step and punishment by punishment I’ve accepted my rule and my position as a chastity enslaved husband existing for the only pleasure of my wife. If you both decided to live such relationship he must understand and accept it. Everything regarding his sexual pleasure is exclusively a prerogative of yours. You decide when you have to get pleasure and his too. So make it very clear and be patience. You’ll see how much your lives could be improved by this relationship. Keep training him and never back down.





     
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  11. Susanstoy91
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    Susanstoy91 Long term member

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    He gets to cum twice a week...I wish. If he wants to be caged, he has to deal with you controlling his orgasms. If I kept on bothering my Wife(KH) about letting me cum...Let's just say I don't want to find out what might happen. Don't let him cum for 6-7 days...Give him a good T&D session, he'll learn to enjoy that...
     
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  12. LadyBlaze
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    LadyBlaze Queen of Everything
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    #12 LadyBlaze, Dec 25, 2019
    Last edited: Dec 25, 2019
    This is my approach as well to be honest. The more he nags the longer it will take. And I wouldn't be so generous with the orgasms. Once a week maximum. If he continues to misbehave I would just unlock him and stop every single game since he is not serious. I ain't got time for that. Follow the good advice and in worst case scenario duct tape and handcuffs.
     
  13. LadyBlaze
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    LadyBlaze Queen of Everything
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    This is some solid advice right here.
     
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  14. SergioUK
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    SergioUK Long term member

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    Another way to force him to accept it would be to make the key inaccessible, so that you couldn't let him out even if you wanted to. Keep the key at work and only bring it home on nights you've decided he can have release, or buy a time safe such as the K-safe but keep the key itself in a combination keysafe inside so even if he gets to it first when the time expires he can't access the key. Maybe you visit a relative or close friend every few weeks so ask them to look after a 'spare safe-deposit key' for you.

    As others have said, twice a week is too generous at this stage so get him used to going at least a week or two, even a month every so often, then make it more frequent if you like but make him earn it by pleasuring you in other ways, maybe giving you ten orgasms earns him one, so he learns that sex is about your orgasms, not his. Maybe tie him when you do have sex but stop and lock him back up without an orgasm. Encourage him that the quality of his orgasms is increased when the quantity is reduced - if you're not restricting him to ruined orgasms of course.

    A word of caution - you might find it advisable to tie him or use chain and padlocks to tether him before release to make sure the cage does go back on afterwards.
     
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  15. GoddessMWilspoon
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    #15 GoddessMWilspoon, Dec 26, 2019
    Last edited: Dec 26, 2019
    Obvs I don't know you or your sub, but it does sound like he is craving some dominance from you. Maybe he wants you to tell him no and reaffirm his submission.
    You need to remember that he has this new device on his favourite toy, and it's a new exciting chapter. Maybe he feels you're just setting and forgetting him without any sense of dominance emphasising submission. It doesn't always have to be reactionary for punishment, but if you're limiting sex it may be worth your while considering how else you want him to achieve gratification, even if not satisfaction.

    Just like a new piercing or accessory it will always be on your mind, you'll want to play with it and youll want to show others.
    He is doing this with you, don't minimise his excitement or it may make the whole adjustment harder.

    Some people say be harsh, but I think you need to be realistic that it's a human and you need to consider emotions and mentality, particularly when adding a constant physical reminder. Maintenance with a paddling, subserviently completing tasks and achieving personal goals you've set for him will help rewire (or "condition") his brain from the way it was until now, to the way you want it to be. Don't be fooled, being a femdom in flr is no easy task. It is mentally emotionally and physically draining, and you very well may have less sex and more arguments than before while you're finding your strength and he is finding his submission. But hurdles are expected, it's how you manage them that counts.

    Figure out if it's an FLR, or whether it's a bed game. If FLR, it's your responsibility to lead not just lock, as he is offering himself to you and it seems you think he needs to be shut down even more for that...and he could end up seeking gratification from things other than your wants if you don't guide him...which can be an issue with the kink of chastity VS real life chaste submission.

    If you're taking away his toy, his sex life and his sense of self control you'll need to replace them with something else. Once you offer that you can punish for sure, but unless you're trying to strip him right back and break him I would do a little more reading on FLR and a little less reading on punishment for him wanting your attention...tell him no, say you can instead give me a foot massage or make me a cuppa or rub my back or any number of things that will distract his mind from selfishness and boredom, to selflessly serving you in his new role. If he says no I don't want to massage you I want sex, then by all means get a wooden spoon out and touch his butt up. But maintaining submission through your dominance and direction proactively will always be far more effective than reactionary punishments IMO.

    Communicate, because after a few pillow talk conversations you may find he's trying to help get you to have more of a voice over his actions, rather than just holding his key.

    Good luck, sorry for the essay..I am renown for a long winded reply. Happy to discuss via inbox convo further too.
    Good on you for reaching out, there is never a right answer and I guess being a part of this community will mean you can pick and choose suggestions from the diverse dynamics to tailor your own situation. Xx
     
  16. Intensity
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    Intensity Lovely Hot Wife Holds The Key

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    #16 Intensity, Dec 27, 2019
    Last edited: Dec 27, 2019
    As many others have said, simply increase the time he is locked for asking to be released.

    This is what my KH holder does. I also never really know when I will be released. But if I ask, then she will tell me now I need to wait longer. Does not take long for that lesson to sink in.

    Also, the worst punishment for me is nothing. If I really mess up that is what I get. Locked up with no teasing, no mention of chastity, nothing she wants from me sexually. Just solitary, it is the absolute punishment for me. I hate it!!!
     
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  17. Cecilia B
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    Cecilia B Long term member

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    This is about you, not him. Since he's the one who asked, you have to make the Rules and stick to them. If he's not going to go along, you might want to reconsider this.
     
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  18. white_leather
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    white_leather Member

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    I’m not trying to prescribe a solution for you, because we all have our own journey. But I can tell you has worked for us. There is only one promise and that promise is that she will take good care of me.

    The problem with promises of release is that it changes the dynamic and puts the power in the hands of the sub. It has always worked best for us if it was totally up to her when I got a release. That way she’s really in control. She’s literally changed her mind about my orgasm while we were in the middle of having sex.

    There have been days where she made me cum 3-4 times and there have been times where it has been 3-4 months totally chaste. The point is I can’t say “You promised.”
     
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  19. madams-sissysub
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    agree with this!
     
  20. hardbodysub
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    hardbodysub BrokeTheMold

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    Not really. A promise doesn't need to be unconditional. The domme can still dictate the terms under which the release will be allowed. She can also require that the sub be restrained during release and locked back up afterward. That does not put power in the hands of the sub.
     
  21. ChastityNut
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    ChastityNut Active member

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    Tons of cock hate in this thread. I feel sorry for the HUMAN BEINGS that are in relationships with the people making some of these post!

    The only good advice I read was to treat him like he's a human being. It's his sex life, too. Beyond that it's really hard for anyone that's not insane to give advice considering the lack of details from you. You didn't even specify who's idea it was to enter a male chastity dynamic.

    Wearing a cock cage is 100% about the penis. It is a male power exchange fantasy and anyone that says otherwise is delusional. If it wasn't, why wear a device? Why have to have all of this other psychological crap just to do the dishes or a fucking load of laundry?

    No matter who initiated the dynamic, it takes two to have a sex life. All of the advice that follows the line of lock it up and forget it is just wrong and may destroy the relationship. Continue your sex life like normal but add the cage like an accessory. Take baby steps into the kinks you two enjoy.

    The only problem might be is if he's jacking it multiple times per day, but that's true of you as well. What's the point of being in a relationship that has sex as a component if one party is always gratifying themself instead of spending that sexual energy with the person they love? If excessive masturbation is the issue, then that needs to be addressed on a level beyond cock cages and kinks.
     
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