They say you only get out what you put in, I agree with that! But you can never predict the effect that such a lifestyle as ours can have on one. It's so easy to underestimate how much your own personal emotional investment can open feelings you never knew you had. You think you have it all sorted, but the deeper you go, the more open you become to new feelings, desires, needs! As a woman that has either chosen to cage or agreed to cage her loved one, the effect on ones own confidence is real and profound. And everything new act of a power exchange, feeds that inner Goddess, Mistress, Owner, KH. You may not realise the changes at first, easily mistaken for excitement, anxiety, trepidation maybe. But these attacks on the senses are slowly opening up other feelings, things one never knew before. My own journey through D/s, cuckolding, chastity and now bisexual, without this lifestyle, I would never have known what possibilities existed. Or indeed the confidence to admit it. Some of you have quoted 'be careful what you wish for' and 'not careful what I wished for'. I would add, 'be curious of what you didn't wish for'. Enjoy your emotions, I know I am!
It is fun and at the same time frightening to watch all those new feelings grow inside, feelings that you didn't imagine that could have been so dormant and then, voilà, make their appearance and surprise you and the one attached to your heart. This lifestyle has consequences (as any other, by the way), I couldn't have imagined so when started this adventure, but now it is there, so many things have changed - for the better. When I started on CM I thought of a very different venue to cross, life got me on another way, and I feel grateful for it.
I would never have guessed the direction my Wife would us after she agreed to lock me up. I’ve written before about how it took her a few months to get going but since then everything we have done has come about because of Elle and how she has changed. I suppose in my case it’s more ‘work out what you are wishing for’ followed by ‘it doesn’t matter what you wished for, she is now in charge.’
We were talking about this the other day. Our conclusion was that for us it was like a road trip. We set off with a destination in mind, but on the way took one side road , then another and ended up somewhere else completely. Even better, we ended up in a nicer place than we had intended. Our list of experiences is similar to yours, albeit in a different order. We don’t regret anything, though some experiments have gone on the “not doing that again” list. The kiss of death in many relationships is boredom. We try to keep things fresh, that keeps us all together Love Jane & Janet XX