Post-orgasm behavior

Discussion in 'Chastity and orgasm denial' started by MissAmanda, May 3, 2021 at 7:02 PM.

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  1. MissAmanda
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    MissAmanda The nomadic one
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    In all the reading, and chatting, I've done, the post-orgasm behavior/emotions have been mentioned a lot. What I HAVEN'T found much information on is time-frame.

    So. My questions. 3a is the one of most interest to me.

    1) What do you (or if you're a keyholder, your locked one) experience behaviorally/emotionally just after a full orgasm?

    2) Same question, but after a ruined orgasm?

    3a) How long does it take to get back to the behavior/emotions of being chaste? 3b) What does that look like for you? More snuggly, more attentive, more productive, and/or...??
     
  2. MissyB
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    For me, after a full orgasm, i tend to want to back away from my desires. To pretend i really don't like being fem, or wearing women's styles, or that i'm not really submissive. I dont' know why but i get surge of being something else. That of course, includes not wanting to lock up again.

    But if i ignore those feelings, and obey my orders, i can get over those delusions. If i force myself to lick up my release, put the cage back on, as well as wear a few fem items, then i can avoid a long delay. Sometimes within hours and certainly a day or so, I accept my position again and seek to serve my Domme. I've never experienced it, but i have a feeling if I had some discipline after a release it might even shorten my 'refusal' time and make it more seamless. But JMO.
     
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  3. MissAmanda
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    MissAmanda The nomadic one
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    It sounds to me like you have a lot of self-control. That's fantastic! Sometimes within hours? I never imagined anyone's refusal time could be that short.
     
  4. NZSenator
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    NZSenator Active member

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    The most noticeable thing for me after orgasm is that I have to consciously make the effort to pay attention to Mrs Sen with small acts of intimacy (extended kiss, groping etc) and that I am more inclined to think of myself.

    Doing extra bits (non sexual / intimacy stuff like hanging washing without being asked for example) requires a conscious decision which is more often pushed below whatever it is I am occupying my time with. It takes me a good 3-5 days to really get back into the headspace of being more attentive subconsciously and looking for ways to meet her wants/needs without her having to ask.

    We already split the cooking depending on who is home and what is being cooked, but by and large, Fri, Sat & Sun I do the lions share of cooking with weekdays both of us in the kitchen.
     
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  5. nubbin
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    Being a married male in the USA i have always tried to overcome the stereotype expected of a married virile husband now wearing panties, with limited chances for even orally servicing my Wife and finding my sexual needs met through jerking myself off very frustrating.
     
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  6. MissAmanda
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    MissAmanda The nomadic one
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    So you've also got some decent self-control, being able to make that effort before the attentive feelings kick in.

    Did it take longer to find that headspace when you first got started, or has it always been around 3-5 days?
     
  7. Queens servant73
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    I don’t think I’ve ever noticed a change in mood like many on here talk about after having an orgasm.
    But, when I’m free, I start to focus more on my pleasure and my penis instead of focusing all that energy on my Wife. Once I’m locked it changes fairly quickly, but I’d say between day 3 & 4 is when the sub mentality really picks up. We mostly do shorter lockup’s so I’m not sure if that would be affected or change in any way after a longer lockup and then an O.
     
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  8. maid julie
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    maid julie Active member

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    1. After a full one it’s like ok I’m good and want no part or feelings of wanting to be locked back up but I have been locked right back up

    2. Depends on how much of a ruined orgasm it go from being very horny still to not wanting anything to do with it

    3. Normally anywhere from 2 to 4 days to fully get back into it. But like today I was locked back up this morning and I am already horny. But I also find that my cb6000s can make me that way in a hurry
     
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  9. Headtrip
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    Headtrip Active member

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    1) Satisfied and exhausted at first. By the next day I really don't want to go back in (to chastity). I do try to cover it up by being extra attentive but she says it is for sure not the same behavior.
    2) After a ruined I feel some relief, like some pressure has been taken off. I don't feel desperate right away but some hours later that feeling comes rushing back.
    3a) 6 weeks. Her opinion, for complete recovery to what she wants to see. I feel several different milestones. Assuming I have been locked back up (always) then days 2 and 3 bring some agitation. I can get sassy. By 1 week I am getting waves of frustration and start becoming "moldable". I hit my peak frustration about 2 weeks in but am (apparently because she says so) still focused on poor me. Weeks 2-6 I am riding waves and learning how to focus on her again. I think the change she sees in me by week 6 is sort of an acceptance that another O is not likely. I want it, more than ever, but I accept it and start truly focusing on getting my pleasure from her pleasure.
    3b) I get more snugly and hour after being locked up. Must trigger my Oxytocin big time. I start focusing on her pleasure within a week or two. We are both pretty productive type A's so that doesn't change. Quite the opposite, as enough time goes on I stop trying to think so much for myself and let her lead. It is NOT natural for me but I eventually get to a blissful acceptance stage. In fact, as I type this I think I finally have figured out WHY she says I need "at least 6 weeks"... hmmmm.

    The process doesn't seem to get shorter with time, but her patience with it sure does, which doesn't bode well for me.
     
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  10. NZSenator
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    Hi MissAmanda

    Honestly, I don't know.

    Before I started in chastity, I'd more likely have masturbated at a similar time as to when I start to get to that headspace (horny, nerves on edge etc) and never thought much about the impact of hormones released after an orgasm and what they did to my interactions with Mrs Sen.

    I still don't think I get mood swings after an orgasm like I have seen described on here from time to time, but I am generally fairly moderate anyway, so thats not much of a surprise.

    Decent self control? I guess, thanks. It is motivated to try and get back that horny feeling as quickly as possible. I'm sure Mrs Sen can tell, but for me there is a real different feeling when I am trying to force myself to be more attentive / intimate and when it comes "naturally".
     
  11. Sub.oscar
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    Sub.oscar Inexperienced Sub looking for new connections

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    So my only experience is when I am masturbating on my own. I am usually using an anal toy beads or p sport vibrater.

    I will sometimes after ejaculating take the anal toy our place some cum on it then suck the cum and anal juices off. If I was using beads I would try and gag myself.

    I would then have to clean everything up sometime gets a bit messy with anal toys. After a shower I would do some yoga a meditate to reajust
     
  12. Ricscages
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    Morning MissAmanda. It's been well over a year since my last full orgasm. Mistress has forbidden me full orgasm. The only orgasm I'm allowed is a ruined one. And only if Mistress has given me permission to have one. So my frustrations levels are always high. It's Mistress property she has complete control. So teasing and tormenting are part of everyday life me.
     
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  13. nycha
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    3a) How long does it take to get back to the behavior/emotions of being chaste?

    In my case it depended on how the orgasm was given.

    After a full orgasm with her not mentioning chastity or else afterwards it needed 5 - 7 days before i asked for training again and beeing full attentive.

    After a full orgasm under humilating and painful conditions followed by strict training afterwards and hole next day, the goal could be achieved much quicker
     
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  14. Thomas Gangman
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    1. Depends on what transpired, if it out, cum, and relock I struggle to go back into another deny period. If it a marathon weekend of pleasure and debauchery, I can't wait to go back in for rest.

    2. My cage never comes off for a ruined orgasm, I may get milked, vibrator against cage, or teasing shaft licks but it doesn't come off. Anyway, the answer is frustrated.

    3a. Snuggly that night, attentive the next day. I also feel somewhat frustrated knowing I have another period of time before my next release. This stays with me for a day or 2 before I snap out of it.
     
  15. inchastity4her
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    Your experiences and feelings are very similar to mine.

    1. When I have a full orgasm I am reluctant to go back in the cage. The last time I came fully was on a Friday night and by Saturday morning I was rock hard and wanted to cum again and again. It's terrible and that feeling doesn't go away for almost 5 days after being re-locked. It's so frustrating that I have often requested not to be able to cum fully because after I get past day 5 the urges subside I become very relaxed and calm verses wanting to "go, go, go" and orgasm more. Sometimes having a full orgasm makes the next 5 days so intense and wanting to cum that I can focus on little else.

    2. I am permitted two different types of ruined orgasms. Ones through my cage using the magic wand which results in a little dribble with almost no satisfaction from lack of jerking motion. The second type is when she will straddle me with baby oil on her and and stroke me to the point of orgasm, stopping just shy of my full explosion. She laughs and watches it leak cum down my shaft and repeats the process in a minute, about 4-5 times total. By the time she is done I am mentally drained, exhausted and ready for a nap. It is VERY rewarding and one of the most intense ways for me to have what seem like multiple orgasms.

    3. Once I am re-locked I become attentive rather quickly and I step into the role of knowing I will be her sub and our next few sessions will result with me getting pegged. Knowing I will be attentive to her before I get any attention for my locked cock makes it easy to not expect PIV or to be unlocked for a while.
     
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  16. DoesasTold
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    DoesasTold Feeling Sexy if even only on the bottom half!

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    For most of my adult life whether in a relationship or not I have come to noticed that I generally fall into a generally bummed out mood after orgasm. If it is a really strong orgasm the affect seems more pronounced.

    It wasn’t until just before I got married that I stumbled on the whole edging and then chastity lifestyle. After reading about chemical reactions of male orgasm and the affects it all really snapped into focus for me. I realized how become easily upset and somewhat distant I would get after an orgasm. Less so if it is a true ruined orgasm. I’ve only had a small handful of those.

    I have learned that I am in a funk anywhere from 3 to 5 days. If I go through a spurt where I fall completely off the wagon and have many orgasms in a short period of time then it’s at least a week to get back.

    All of that not withstanding, my wife could take me from my deepest funk and tell me to lock it up and I snap right out of it and immediately get back in the mood. I think the combination of chemical activity and psychological stimulation can work off each other to either worsen or shorten my “downtime”
     
  17. MissAmanda
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    MissAmanda The nomadic one
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    I can see where that would be the case. Even if the actions are similar or the same, the demeanor and feelings behind the actions are visible.

    Heehee
     
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  18. MissAmanda
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    MissAmanda The nomadic one
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    Yes, I'm sure she can tell. But the fact that you are still motivated to 'force yourself' is what I'm calling self-control. Whatever your motivation, it's not easy, and you do have to force it. But force it you do. Kudos!
     
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  19. MissAmanda
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    MissAmanda The nomadic one
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    So you've not yet found a keyholder to be attentive to. I hope you find someone delightful!
     
  20. MissAmanda
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    MissAmanda The nomadic one
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    Interesting. So wear you out and drain you and you're more quickly ready to settle into chastity.

    I wonder how many people that's true for.
     
  21. MissAmanda
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    MissAmanda The nomadic one
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    So HOW you cum has lots of bearing on how resistant you are to going back into lockup.
     
  22. MissAmanda
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    MissAmanda The nomadic one
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    That bummed out mood after orgasm is relatively new to me. I only first heard about it a year or so ago. Does that make you want to avoid full orgasms much of the time?

    How often does she quickly tell you to lock up? I imagine that's actually a relief for you, given that you're saying it snaps you out of that funk right quick.
     
  23. MissAmanda
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    MissAmanda The nomadic one
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    Thank you all for the valuable feedback. Follow up question for any who are so inclined...

    It seems that between 2 and 5 days is the general consensus here, to get back to that headspace of being attentive or submissive. Would you say it's easier if you're not teased/intentionally turned-on during that time period? Or does it not make much difference either way?
     
  24. hardbodysub
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    hardbodysub BrokeTheMold

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    It would take less than 2-5 days for me, especially if locked back up immediately. It would only take as long as the refractory period to get back into a submissive mode, although it wouldn’t be quite as strong until 2-3 days have passed. Stronger after that.
     
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  25. maid julie
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    maid julie Active member

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    Almost always it’s the 3 to 4 day mark when that feeling of super horny hits after lock up
     
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