Poll on how you feel after being granted an orgasm

Discussion in 'Chastity and orgasm denial' started by cogman, May 10, 2022.

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How do you feel after being granted an orgasm

  1. Relief, gratefull to your mistress, feel like serving even more, feeling even more affectionate.

    14.1%
  2. Relief and gratefull and happy

    12.1%
  3. Doesnt change my feeling much at all

    1.0%
  4. Post orgasm mood swing, Feel down, not really interested in puting cage back on.

    45.5%
  5. Loss of submission, feeling cranky, shouldnt have had one, dont want to put cage back on

    27.3%
Random Thread
  1. cogman
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    cogman Long term member

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    I have seen this a lot in this forum, it seems that the majority of men here feel depressed or down, even cranky after being given an orgasm. I just don't get that at all. My brain literally sings for the first few hours, and even the next day when I am locked back up and the following days I feel relieved, and I feel grateful and more like doing things for my mistress. Curious to see if I am actually alone with this. Granted I usually am only denied for 1-2 weeks at a time, and when I do orgasm they are the most explosive and the best I have ever had in my life.
     
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  2. scottishsis
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    scottishsis Active member

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    I cant answer just now as im only a month in chastity, but i would lile to think option 1
     
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  3. Sexy Slave 69
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    Sexy Slave 69 Long term member

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    My keyholder hates my mood after orgasm. She said to me the other day when u had a full orgasm on the 5th of January 2022 did u realize it was your last one?
     
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  4. SubSnuggler
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    SubSnuggler Owned by Mistress2and4you

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    Lately all I get are ruins, which barely affect my hormone level. That's by design, because my key holder Wife never fails to tell me I'm just a shit sub for a couple of days after an orgasm. She prefers me 'docile and compliant'.

    She's right, I tend to let my chores and my level of submission drop a bit. I don't mind being caged though; it's just part of my life like socks. But I will get slack about making the beds and being properly deferential to her. Most of it is unintentional, I just slip into another reality where I'm pre-FLR and it takes me a day or two to get back to where I'm supposed to be.
     
  5. Queens servant73
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    Queens servant73 Long term member

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    I’m usually still in a good headspace if I’m allowed 1-2 orgasms after a lockup, but we’ve both noticed a big drop in submission, and eagerness to serve sometimes after a 3rd and for sure if allowed 4 or more.
    We’ve tried many different routines with chastity, and I believe my Wife is more set on keeping me to maybe a couple a month so my attitude is to her liking.
    And as others have said, that orgasm after a couple to few weeks of lockup are absolutely mind blowing!
     
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  6. Guest 6019
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    Guest 6019 Long term member

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    Post orgasm slump. Yeah I'm cranky. Day two and three definitely suck. I'm grumpy and feel ignored. Desperate to get back to that state at about 5-7 days where it really gets real. I'm getting better at it, and processing it, but Yes sometimes I wish I hadn't. I think we are entering into a situation when longer locks, or piv without me coming is becoming more likely, than before. If I'm allowed to come too often, how often am I in this blissful subservient state of mind for her. She is really starting to see the benefits of keeping me denied.

    Wouldn't say that "Not wanting to put the cage back on" is an option in our house. It's on by default. Straight away after she's done with it. But the first two days I want to cheat more, but I'm not that desperate. The more desperate I become, the less I want it to end. In her company the more she denies me the more thankful I become.
     
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  7. CuriousAndy
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    CuriousAndy Long term member

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    I went with the last option, though I don't feel that I shouldn't have had one, I like them very much.

    The key thing though is that I don't feel very submissive afterward. I feel happy, content, relaxed. I don't think that I'm cranky, but I've been told I'm argumentative and don't follow orders the way I should.

    We've talked about the mood swing problem and next time Goddess feels like letting me have an orgasm we're going to try edging sessions afterward to see if that helps. I'm also going to try harder to be more aware of my behaviour afterward.
     
  8. Guest 3729
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    Guest 3729 Long term member

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    It all depends on how long I’ve been locked up. If I’ve been locked for a while I feel grateful but reluctant to have it even though it’s not my choice. Afterwards I don’t lose my desire to serve or put the belt back on. In many cases I usually only take the tube off and then it immediately goes back on after we’re done. Currently I’m unlocked per my request because we haven’t had anytime to nurture this lifestyle. Looking forward to when we can get back into the full swing of things.
     
  9. cogman
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    cogman Long term member

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    Yep I agree, if I am allowed to have too many then my want to submit and my mind set changes, but one or two keeps me grateful. And I find that after 2 weeks of denial sex feels like the best I can ever remember and I have been playing with chastity for over 10 years and it never changes. Its been a long time since I went 3 weeks so cant really comment.

    It does seem though that majority here seem to feel that orgasms are detrimental to them.

    Now I am wondering if there is a correlation between long term lock ups compared to relatively short ones like myself.
     
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  10. JaySaysYes
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    JaySaysYes Level-4 Sarcasm Master, PhD in Google, Ace Pedant.

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    None of the options really fit...

    After around 7 months without an orgasm, and then having perhaps 5-7 within 2 weeks, I can say that I quickly realised how hollow and empty orgasms are.

    Don't get me wrong, I CRAVE orgasm like crazy person and historically my orgasms have only gotten bigger and more powerful over the years, but when I have an orgasm I find it's disappointing. They were great, but then they were gone and the craving is back.

    Perhaps the memes and online commentary about it is right; When denied for long periods the buzz of that diminishes the interest in orgasm.

    My KH and I are reading The Heart of Tantric Sex (she is doing the audibook but I prefer the book) and there is an interesting observation where the author talks about a couple practicing tantric sex that said during the first year they would orgasm infrquently and their orgasms were improving, the second year they didn't orgasm because what they had was so much better than the short bursts of orgasmic high. So there is that.
     
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  11. Lovelocked
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    Lovelocked Active member

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    My wife knows more about my mood than I do. Things seem to be working out like this. After orgasm I certainly don't want to put the cage back on. Not sure about loss of submission but I certainly become miserable and unhelpful. After a few days she sees a change of mood and says "you're back, get your cage on", then I will be kept orgasm free for two or three weeks. After that time I tend to become grumpy again and she says I might as well have an orgasm. I voted for number 4.
     
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  12. Rectrix
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    Rectrix Long term member

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    I think it depends on your usual duration. When you're kept locked and orgasm-free for over 6 weeks or so it's a different thing than what I'm reading from the weekly or every-couple-weeks guys. For longer term husbands, there's a real reluctance to have them because of the drop and the loss of place, and the knowledge that the build-back-up time is a few weeks not a couple days. It's been over six months for me, so I'd choose the last option (excluding don't want to put cage back on).
     
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  13. TomInAustin
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    TomInAustin Active member

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    After a full year of denial, my gal decided we are done and in permanent denial. I was feeling like crap for almost a week.
     
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  14. TomInAustin
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    TomInAustin Active member

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    That's why she decided no more and I agreed. the difference between edging and cumming is not worth the down time
     
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  15. Guest 6019
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    Guest 6019 Long term member

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    Be interesting to know how long someone's usual denial time is in relation to how they feel after an orgasm. If you usually come a couple of times a week, the likelihood of you having a big slump is less. The longer the lock the bigger the crash.
     
  16. TomInAustin
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    TomInAustin Active member

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    Exactly, in three years of dating, we went from every few weeks to a few months to finally a year. The difference is stunning. I would rather be in permanent denial than the letdown after a year. The reality did not match the hype, a few seconds later and I was disappointed as was she.
     
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  17. cogman
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    cogman Long term member

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    Yes there definitely seems to be a correlation to what is your normal period of lock up, perhaps part of the down feeling is knowing its going to be a long long time before you return to where you have been.

    Just a thought
     
  18. MsPamela
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    MsPamela Active member

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    I have more than a passing interest in this. Hubby was moody after a one week period, and a touch less so after two weeks (although maybe he was just trying harder to be on good behavior). We're trying longer now, and I was hoping relocking after a month or something would be easier, but from what I'm reading here that's probably not going to be the case.

    He does get unlocked and teased very regularly and relocking after that is never a problem. It's just an orgasm that seems to be the troublemaker.
     
  19. NM Lori
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    NM Lori Member

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    Honest response? Masturbating to completion is a horrible thing for me in the aftermath. Moody, guilt, self-loathing, anger outbursts… that Prolactin surge is way stronger than it should be for me. I can crash and have it take a week or more to start to recover. I ended up on Citalopram to help with my moods and depression ( and it quashes my libido rather well too). My wife, who had no interest in chastity and did not want me to wear the cage, finally listened when I told her about how masturbating and porn were affecting me. She has lost all interest in sex, so it isn’t impacting her that I am now locked 24/7. My last orgasm was in mid-January when I had to be unlocked for a few days after I started getting a pressure sore. As soon as it was healed she did not hesitate to take the key again. She saw the way it changed my behavior when I got off.

    We have not had penetrative sex in over a year. Being locked up near permanently is my new life. I doubt I will ever have another orgasm again (I am not saying that for dramatic effect or to exaggerate, I actually believe it is never going to happen again). Do I wish it was different? Yes. But even if she wanted sex at all I am not sure it would be a good idea to let me have an orgasm.
     
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  20. Guest 6019
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    Guest 6019 Long term member

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    Do you allow some free time after orgasm then?
     
  21. Lady&sub
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    Lady&sub Active member

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    Over the last 5 years or so, I have come to hate having a full orgasm but only when my sexual energy is high. After an orgasm I can have multiple orgasm during the next days or weeks and it's somewhere between okay and good. But after around 14 days without an orgasm, my sexual energy reach a point where I really dont want to orgasm because I crash hard. The constant feeling being in this "high sexual energy" is way better than the short enjoyment of having a full orgasm.
    My Lady still likes me to have orgasm, although the time between increases because she knows they are hard on me.
     
  22. bondinchas
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    bondinchas Long term member

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    None of the above...

    I mostly feel disappointed at loosing the 'state of bliss', but I do desperately want my cage back on, I really don't feel "me" without it.
     
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  23. Tarknassus
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    Tarknassus Wordy chastity nerdery.

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    I opted for:
    Post orgasm mood swing, Feel down, not really interested in putting cage back on.

    However, despite that - I'm not "not interested in putting the cage back on", because I know my keyholder will hound me until I do, but there's an internal battle that rages on in me when faced with this. Do I want to continue? Do I continue to submit? So many questions and doubts and uncertainties flood my mind.

    Inevitably, yes, the cage goes back on. Depending on what's happened (orgasm, just teasing, etc), I'll either be quite subdued or experiencing a complete drop in mood post-orgasm. The subdued is usually a result of a lot of internal reflection, trying to process the conflict in my mind regarding ongoing chastity. Part of the learning curve I think.

    Yes I'll get the mood swing. My wife recognises this instantly. We're still in a process of experimenting to find the most suitable process - uncaged ruined works well for a total of around 2-3 days mood drop. A regular orgasm (not PIV - lol we're way past me ever getting that again probably!) would mean a mood drop of around 7 days, "totally unacceptable" according to my wife!!

    We're going for caged orgasm next, and assessing how that works. It may be the case that I could realistically expect ruined caged orgasms to be a norm in the future. Time will tell.
     
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  24. bondinchas
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    bondinchas Long term member

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    Have you tried a prostate massage rather than penile stimulation? No need to be unlocked for that, and there's little if any post orgasm drop, because it's not really an orgasm.
     
  25. Tarknassus
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    Tarknassus Wordy chastity nerdery.

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    I'd give it a shot, but my wife's opposed to anything anal. Heck, trying to get anywhere near doing oral has taken years by this point... argh.
     
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