Pleas help need advice

Discussion in 'Off topic discussions' started by sinvore, Aug 12, 2010.

  1. sinvore
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    sinvore New member

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    me and my wife found each other online i am a sub she is a Dom it was 10 years ago now we have a child and much has changed she is my Dom and will always be but i can't even were my collar any more we don't want our child to be warped or anything all i wish for is to be on my knees at her feet worshiping her but that never happens she works a full time job i go to school and am unemployed i cant find a job and we fight alot i am trying to change things i do most of the cooking and cleaning and take care of our child as my wife works night stress is high and we spend little time together and even less time alone we don't have much sex mostly my fault we have talked about a chastity device for me in the past and did not do it then 6 years ago i think now i am thinking of getting The Houdini Chastity Tube but i don't want to Top the Dom. witch i think i might be doing I need some advice i want my Mistress back not just my dom plz help me.
     
  2. Goddess Jen
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    Goddess Jen Expert in tease and denial

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    OK, take a breath. Repeat. For future reference, punctuation helps when writing a post. It will make it a bit more understandable.

    I'm sorry to say this, but asking for help in an online forum is not going to help. You need to talk to your wife. Honest and open communication is vital for any marriage to work. I think you need to work on your relationship before you lock your dick up. At this point, I don't think that would do anything but frustrate you more and make your wife feel like what she's doing isn't enough.

    Also, you are no longer just a couple. You are now a family. Your little one has to take priority over you getting your kinks fulfilled. You have no clue what happens to a woman's body after she has a child. EVERYTHING changes. She's now a mother. Perhaps she feels like she shouldn't be your Mistress any more, because it's not a "motherly" thing to do. Again, without knowing her or your situation, this is all just speculation on my part. Another question...didn't you talk about this before she got pregnant? She was pregnant for 9 months. These issues should have been discussed at length. Especially since you say you lived this lifestyle pretty much 24/7 before your little one got here.

    Nothing anyone is going to tell you is going to give you the help you need. You need to speak to your wife and perhaps a 3rd impartial party, like a couples therapist.
     
  3. Mistress Michelle
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    Mistress Michelle Magical Mistress

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    Life gets in the way all the time, dosent mean you have to stop everything all together. I would think the best thing you can do is find a babysitter, take her out for a nice dinner and have a long chat all about how you miss everything and having time with her and see if the two of you can work out some sort of arrangement to spend some quality time together. I know thats not much help, but if you both work at it you would be surprised what you can accomplish.
    Its either that or you wait till your children are grown and out of the house, not a good option ;)

    Mistress Michelle
     
  4. sinvore
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    sinvore New member

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  5. susie q
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    susie q Dear friend of the Mistress Michelle clan

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    I feel for you my friend and agree with Mistress Michelle and Goddess Jen but from a male(sort of)point of veiw we can never know what it feels like to have a child no more than a female can know what it feels like to get kicked in the balls but i know it changes everything in a relationship it's no longer about us but the family in general but that said theirs always light at the end of the tunnel.My ex and i had friends with kids around the same age and we would swap out weekends babysitting so that all of us could catch a break and get naked and crazy,we all knew are kids were well taken care of and no worrys,not sure if you have that option? things just always have a way of working itself out,may take a little time but make a plan ...very best wishes to you both :)
     
  6. Notre Domme
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    Notre Domme Junior Member

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    Sort life out firstand fast
    Develop an interest, sell things on line on ebay sign up with agency to get work know its hard but look to your hobbies to provide an income

    Before buying ANY device get a five year plan mapped out by both of you. Decide where vanilla life is going

    Then get vanilla relationship straightened out.
    Forget Ds Fm and chastity until you have basics back to normal

    If worst comes to worst take a trip to car boot sale and buy a set amount of items that you need. Tryto sell on ebay for profit, if you fail you still win because you bought things you need or for your hobby interest. Next week reinvest andbuild up atrade.

    For sake of child get priorities right, draw up a joint action plan.
     
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