Piggys Last Chance

Discussion in 'Female led relationships' started by BKwife, May 15, 2018.

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  1. BKwife
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    BKwife Active Member

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    I can't even count how many times we've started and stopped this FLR lifestyle. For him its a dream come true and for me it's getting the respect I've always wanted and deserved. Unfortunately, my stupid impatient little piggy is never happy with the quantity of time I devote to catering to his every irrational need! One minute my pig would be on cloud 9 because of the sexual interaction we just had and the next day he was pissed because I didn't text him enough that day!. He would always tell me that my words and how I weilded them were such a turn on to him, nobody talks like I do and then as soon as I neglected to remember I was supposed to do something that day, it was game over. Because I didn't put enough time into dominating him, he said it wasn't as important to me as it was to him and it would never work!. I was devastated as usual. Months went by with us drifting apart and I had enough. We talked and he assured me he was done being a selfish little pig and he would give me the time I need to be the mistress I have the potential to be. So, is with great pleasure that I'm here to say my sub now accepts the fact that he no longer controls ANYTHING!. wish him luck:)

    Question for you guys. If you love this so much why are you always screwing it up?

    Keyholders... Am I the only one having these issues?
     
  2. PouchPantyLover
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    PouchPantyLover Well-Known Member

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    I'd love to say I'm perfect, but I have been guilty of the transgressions you describe. My guess is it's different for everyone, but I think you're making the right call by putting him on notice that he no longer controls anything. My wife and I have worked through this issue for the most part. Mainly because she stopped thinking about this being about me and accepted it was about her. I conform to this most of the time, but occasionally fall back into the old trap of being resentful over a perceived lack of attention.

    In some ways I think we are set up to fail. Having your dick in a cage makes you horny pretty much 24/7. It's never far from your mind and most of the time at the front of our minds. That horniness creates a constant state of need that you (our key holders) are the only ones that can satiate us. Yet the whole point is to not satiate us. If we actually had an orgasm, we'd probably leave you be for a couple of days. Now we just keep on wanting.

    It seems that those are successful are the ones where the KH takes a level of control she likes and the chaste male accepts that level of control and is mostly at peace with it. Good luck to you both in finding that balance.
     
  3. Femcontrol5
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    Femcontrol5 Learning and loving it

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    @BKwife this isn't really unusual, but I do think you've made the right call. Total control is the best way it works.
     
  4. Rockndizzy
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    Rockndizzy New Member

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    Not all of us do that. I am caged 24/7... yes I am constantly wound up! My wife works late and so do I. We have set rules that either one of us can say no during the week and that is binding! The weekend is another matter! I have been locked for 3 weeks and I want to totally maul my wife but she said no as she has lesson plans to take care of..... so I am reading and getting some new ideas. Good luck to your lil piggy!
     
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  5. Femcontrol5
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    Femcontrol5 Learning and loving it

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    @BKwife I will say though well done to you for finding your place miss. That seems to be the hardest part for most dommes. It seems Like its your piggy who needs to adapt and get with the program.
     
  6. Gigaman
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    Gigaman Active Member

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    Well, guess that says it all BK! I know I am selfish and I certainly can be a dick at times. I guess it’s old age and living with a chip on my shoulder that brought me here to this point in my life. I read posts here where they tell stories of how the wife/girlfriend does not like sex or want to participate in kinky stuff. Not me, BK will humiliate with the best of them, talk dirty, be my KH and will at least try whatever I ask of her. So I’m one of the luckiest guys around and I really do see that as long as everything is good according to Gigaman head.

    The problem is when I don’t get what I feel is enough control from you I check out and go my separate way to try and satisfy my craving for this stuff. I wish I could see what I am doing is wrong, but at the time I really have no idea and I think I am do what’s best. After it’s been a while i see it, and I am sorry, but it’s to late and the damage is done to the relationship.

    I truely love you, we have been together 40 years and we have been through a lot. You defently got the short end of the stick in this relationship.
    I got the beautiful girl that stuck by my side no matter what and for that I truely am sorry.

    I really hope this is the time that clicks for both of us
    And thanks for not giving up on me :love:
     
  7. LesterBallard
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    LesterBallard Well-Known Member

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    At one level this is and always will be a game for us men to get our rocks off. There are a few posters on here whose blogs and comments clearly show they're doing this for the gratification.

    And there are others who have clearly transcended that and have entered a state of service to their Mistress. It isn't easy because we're battling our natures and our hormones, but the likes of el guapo and nicoftime show it can be done.

    Keep reminding your little man of his status in your relationship. I'm not much into punishment myself, but yours may be a case where brattiness needs to be punished.

    Good luck
     
  8. permanentslave
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    permanentslave Well-Known Member

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    Because being bad sometimes and then being punished for it can also be allot of fun *winks*.
     
  9. Bonobo
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    Bonobo Active Member

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    Yes this was our way also. It only took me 15 years to figure it out. I had to regain my wife’s trust and that took over a year. There was almost zero kink during this time. I spent that year as vanilla as I could possibly be, I learned how to love my wife again and appreciate the romance she was willing to give me. After all is it not what this is about? Gigaman should be trying to make your life the most pleasant life any women could ever want if he is not get on it Gigaman. It took a year for my wife to agree to be my Domme and I the had to learn to accept it at her level, always reminding myself my purpose is serving my Domme. We had fights about it because I am no perfect and the fights always made my wife take a step backwards. She did not rewards the transgressions, I had to come back and beg for forgiveness and try harder. It was Frustrating but I am a better man for it. Gigaman has to take the wheel and control himself, you can’t do that for him.

    Gigaman is going to screw up while you two start out. The challenge will be to learn from these mistakes and not repeat them. The mistakes will become less often as time goes on. The other morning I came home from work in a funk, in the past this would have been a disaster I would have accused her of not being “Domme enough” and would have left my beautiful wife in tears. Now I have learned to use my words and describe how I am
    feeling and let my Domme guide me through it. It’s amazing how just talking about it can calm the emotions. Good luck Gigaman you got this.
     
  10. JiL
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    JiL servitude4u

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    Although my Bride and I have no history of stopping and restarting our FLR, I understand and know what it feels like when I think She is not giving things enough time or attention. However, much of this stems from the fact that we are often living apart more than we are together. The month of May will be the worst it's ever been as we will be apart more than we will be together due to Her business travel and a trip She is taking for 11 days with another friend. Combine that with someone who is naturally conservative and vanilla by nature, and I am sometimes left wondering what the hell I'm doing. And of course, Her favorite time to have me locked up is when She is away. I do my best to check my resentment and feelings at the door each day, but it is not always easy, and I don't claim to be perfect. Punishment can help, but I am usually not that bad, although I am tempted to be bad just so I can get the attention. lol.....
     
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  11. Nicoftime
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    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

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    I was lucky enough to read and learn about others before introducing this to her. If I would have started without that knowledge I would have done the same.

    Like most here I had a “plan” I would get to orgasm every two weeks, played with every so often, etc etc etc. if I would not have learned that to make this stress free for her by letting her do the driving, it would have been a short lived experience.

    Glad you took the wheel, how fast and how you get there is up to you.
     
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  12. Penney
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    Penney Well-Known Member

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    I believe some subs are more easily trained then others. I'd bet that after at least a month or two caged, and real spankings for misbehavior yours will start to get the idea. I think visual reminders like only panties help reinforce his new position too. Best wishes!
     
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  13. paulie slave
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    paulie slave Locked house husband

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    I was such a sulky pouting bitch for the first couple of years, I had clearly defined fantasies that had been running around my head for years and I WANTED THEM. It caused a lot of arguments and stress and never again moments. It all clicked for me through my last ditch attempt at manipulation, I thought "maybe if I do everything she wants and am compliant and work hard then she'll give me all the attention I crave."

    What she wanted of course was respect, chores, attitude and personal service, and she got it. It brought us much closer together. I learned and am still learning to please her because it makes me happy and because I think she's such a wonderful person she deserves it. She also indulges my sissy side and I'm really grateful for that

    I never did get all the attention I craved, but in time I realised that what I wanted wasn't what I needed. Well done for keeping trying and I hope you work out a compromise.
     
  14. Disciplined Boyfriend
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    Disciplined Boyfriend Well-Known Member

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    I must confess acting like Gigaman too. And as others have mentioned, when your caged and these hormones are trapped inside you you crave attention.
    But I learned two things, first is that attention works both ways, you pay her attention and it will be reciprocated, might not end in an orgasm though; and the worst punishment that any domme can threaten is to never be your domme again.
    We've recently kickstarted our FLR/FLR. This time she says it's going to be on Her terms or not at all. And then made me agree at her feet before paddling the message onto my ass.
     
  15. Gigaman
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    Gigaman Active Member

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    Thanks you to all of you that have replied to BK thread. Obviously this is about me and not really her as I’m the one with the problem. You guys have said some really good things a lot of it is very true and I understand. I read the same story over and over here, it’s always the guy with the fantasy screwing stuff up. Thanks for sharing your stories and your wisdom both of us really appreciate it.

    I really hope I can give her what she Deserves in life.
     
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  16. Doczilla421
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    Doczilla421 Well-Known Member

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    My wife who is my key holder has complete control. I made the mistake of trying to get her to play when she didnt want to. She had me locked up for 3 straight months with no orgasms for me. I no longer ask for it anymore.
     
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  17. Mistress B
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    Mistress B Mistress B

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    @BKwife Welcome to the Mansion.

    I do hope your "stupid, impatient, little piggy" has now learnt his lesson. There are so many so-called subbies who are like this and expect the domme to go to endless trouble to keep them in their fantasy world.
    They need to be told from the very beginning that they are the sub and that although they have allowed themselves to locked in a chastity cage, they cannot expect to be teased and excited whenever they desire it. Chastity for males is never an easy lifestyle and the sooner they realise it, the better.
    He should be grateful that you seem to have the patience of a saint, putting up with his selfish ways. I wish you well and hope that this is the final attempt.
     
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  18. Gigaman
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    Gigaman Active Member

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    Thank you for you honesty and very real post. Im so happy that BK and I are getting these replies and I know I am better understanding what I put her through all these years. Because of post like yours and the other CM family we are talking more and I know BK is not planing on taking any more of my BS. In fact she showed me last night and I will leave it at that.
     
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  19. Bonobo
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    Bonobo Active Member

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    You should be saying “I don’t plan giving her anymore BS”! You have to change your perception of how things are!
     
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  20. Gigaman
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    Gigaman Active Member

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    When your right your right
    I Can’t argue with that!
     
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  21. PouchPantyLover
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    PouchPantyLover Well-Known Member

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    Beautifully said. I will simply add the opposite. Some times I forget that what I want isn't what I need. Thus the struggle.
     
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  22. Steviepie
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    Steviepie started male.....intelligent, feminist and owned.

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    Your words embarrass me Mistress for the times I have been thoughtless and I thank you for the trouble you have taken with my behaviour.......I hope I never disappoint you again.
     
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  23. BKwife
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    BKwife Active Member

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    I hope so too!
     
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  24. Mandynjack
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    Mandynjack Well-Known Member

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    @BKwife, time to shut his cr*p down! Yes this is typical, but no its not ok. Topping form the bottom is by no stretch of the imagination, FLR. At best its 'his fun', at worst, your burden. As @L-u-c-y has said many times, its about you, not him. Clearly the ground rules have not landed (if you had any) and this will just get worse until you reach the point where the towels well and truly thrown in. That said, FLR is about you wanting it, not him needing it. And for you to want it, it's not play anymore, it's 24/7 lifestyle. I have been Mistress of the house for nearly 10 years now and what isn't on the daily menu.. ambiguity! FLR needs total commitment from you and total obedience from him. Your terms, his deference. And yes, it's hard work (but so worth it) to achieve. The only question you need to answer know...... how bad do YOU want this? Good journey fellow Femme, you have others here to support you if needed. M x
     
  25. thefemdecided
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    thefemdecided Well-Known Member

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    We agree with this, whatever rules you have must be YOUR rules. That’s not to say you can’t discuss things, but the final decision must be yours. As a vanilla example Ian needed a new car recently. He is the main driver so we let him select the model. We agreed, and we chose the colour. (It wasn’t very difficult, they only had 2 in stock).

    For us, all 3 talk but only 2 make the decision, no matter what the issue

    Jane & Janet
    X
     
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