Persuade my wife to try chastity cage on me.

Try to not put any obligation on her... that may surely turn her against it.
So, no statements of desire for her to "take control" or any other such thing.

It's probably best framed in terms of you controlling yourself... saving yourself for her, not making her feel that she's obliged to have physical sex. Masturbation is a "male weakness", many women have no idea how often a man can, and does if he can, masturbate, but the disadvantage it that it drains a man of energy, and diverts his attention away from his wife, once satisfied, there's no need to seek affection with her. Frame it in those terms and it may be much more acceptable.

Of course, if your sex life is less active, then you discretely wearing it without imposing on her will be no inconvenience for her. What you have to do is go through with it and learn and experience the changes it makes, you might both be pleasantly surprised. And if she is, she'll certainly agree, insist even, on you continuing. But you have to make the initial effort yourself, she won't know or understand what benefits male chastity will bring until you show them.

Don't worry too much about a cage being seen as a 'sex toy', just don't refer to it a such, more as a tool for behaviour modification. That's your behaviour of course.

With regard to 'toys', my wife really doesn't like them. We've had a couple of vibrators, they've been unused in the bottom drawer for years, in fact probably longer than she's been holding my key and enjoying having me in chastity. So, you never can tell, and there's plenty of hope for you and her yet!

 

A couple of things to begin:
1, Does she completely control herself all the time? If not it seems unreasonable she thinks you should be able to.
2, she is the one who changed and the fact she thinks desires that were normal before aren't nornal now is her problem not yours.

But it seems your options are limited.
Do what she says and stop masterbating, or make sure she doesn't know you are pleasuring yourself, or ignore her and keep doing it whenever you want.
The first one will make her happy, if you can live with it. The second may be the easiest, but won't help the relationship and could end up causing serious confrontation if found out. Third will definitely create confrontation and bring out the fact that you have a sex drive that needs attention, and bring into question who should take care of it if she won't let you take care of it yourself.

Going full confrontation will either fix the relationship, but it won't be an easy fix, or it will totally break the relationship.

 

Is she afraid that if you two have any sort of intimacy that it will lead to you wanting sex? You could explain to her that if she doesn’t want you inside of her that it’s ok and maybe she will let you finish yourself while wearing a condom to reduce the mess. Intimacy without penetration can be very fulfilling but without it, you are just friends and room mates.

you could also get a Kitchen Safe lockbox and lock up the keys for a few hours so that she understands that it’s locked away and no expectation of penis play while you hold each other, kiss, massage, etc.

She sounds to have a “non-confrontation” personality which can be very bad in a relationship because non-cons let things build up to the point that there is a ton of emotional baggage by the time they let it all out. By the time they really vent and address their unhappiness, I’d ask her point blank if she wants to stay together just to see how the conversation plays out. If she won’t talk, tell her that her actions and inactions tell you that she doesn’t really want to stay in the relationship.

 

I feel it’s worse than this… I think they both have a non-confrontational personality.

 

Hi there and welcome to the mansion!

 

I’m afraid you are right.

 

Just the other day, my wife and I we're having this discussion. I had to put it in terms she could understand. She has control issues when there are fresh baked cookies in the house. If they are out on the counter, she is going to eat them 2-3 / day. So she will have a few and then freeze the rest i.e. put them in chastity. This really resonated with her. I then told her that dopamine is the powerful drug that is released when she eats a chocolate cookie or a man has an orgasm but the latter produces many times more volume of dopamine than the cookie. Eating one, two or three cookies has a very small, unnoticeable affect on your behavior. 1-2 orgasms has a significantly larger, negative affect on a man's behavior.

 

Love this analogy.

However, I now feel we need to have a full description of your wife as I’m envisaging her as tall, blue and furry…

 

I think you've already read my description of her. She keeps her cookies in the freezer, although it DOES have a few dents in it. She loves / hates it when I make the sex muffins and, similarly, they end up in chastity within a day or so.

 

Wow that's awesome you are so lucky

 

The struggle is real!!

 

Written communications work quite well, whether on paper or by social media or email. They give both parties time to think, without the pressure of having to immediately say something in reply. I gently eased my very vanilla wife into embracing male chastity with a couple of hand written letters and quite a few memes (mostly those with just words, rather than the male orientated more picturesque ones!)

Sending her a meme image when you're apart and you know it won't be embarassing for her to look at it, (ie not when she's at work or with relatives) not only sends the appropriate messages that you want to make about chastity, it also gives you as a couple a intimate secret thing together, which by the nature of the meme is associated with chastity. That 'naughtiness' that you share deepens the associations with the topic, a gentle and subtle way of making it erotic for her.

 

That's an interesting question really I think. Firstly you are right. It's not really "enforced" if you are a willing participant. However over time the dynamics may change somewhat. In our case that's exactly what has happened. I was the one who initiated the idea of my chastity and Mrs Chaste was happy to "give it a try". So that's what happened and I have now been locked 24/7 and as near 365 as possible, for just over 10 years. Obviously in that time we have aged and our sex life has evolved somewhat. When we started out I was allowed out for a proper orgasm and to be inside Mrs Chaste fairly regularly. As time has passed this has become a very rare occurrence (I'm not complaining). We still have sex especially with me using my tongue, a vibrator and strap on as required. But the really noticeable bit to me is the fact that she genuinely means to keep me locked "permanently". I asked her (hypothetically) if I got bored would she unlock me. The reply was immediately "no!" That made the tummy flip. She says that she truthfully does not want me unlocked ever and the thought of it just doesn't seem right. In our relationship I am locked and that's it. What a change! So am I "forced"? Of course not really. But I am obliged to be locked, it's just the norm now and the decision is not mine. It did give me a slightly strange feeling when she told me "how it was". The "I'm not in control" feeling. If I actually think about it, I tend to swell inside my cage. And also I am still amazed that not only did Mrs Chaste agree to be my wife but that she genuinely wants to keep in chastity forever. Just for the record, I do get teased and sometimes, not often, "leaked" (ruined orgasm) as she calls it when she feels like it. I'll stop rambling now.

 

Damn. I feel like this is me in 9 and a half years! I didn’t expect it to actually go permanent and after 6 months (with no orgasm) the rate of ruins has declined already…

 

Like I say things "evolve" over time. When we started we were just 51 years old! Mrs Chaste was just starting to go through "the change". Now we are 61 years old and our lives have moved on a bit. Mrs Chaste got off quite lightly with the menopause but obviously things are a little different. And I am myself 10 years older (retired) and my focus is very much less on my orgasms. I genuinely enjoy giving pleasure to Mrs Chaste and actually enjoy being left frustrated much more than having an orgasm! In fact I find it takes quite a while for my "interest" to recover afterwards. I wonder what it will be like when we reach 71!

 

As i said in another thread. It was my idea, now she enforces it

https://www.chastitymansion.com/for...ging-attitudes-then-vs-now.48693/#post-569831

 

I started by self locking my wife wasn't interested in it at all but now she is my key holder, just be patient buy her a nice box link necklace and put your hey on it and give to her as a gift

 

Wrong way around.

You're asking how to make your wife do something for you.

If you start by doing things for her, then it won't be long until she finds out or works out what's changed you, and she'll be hiding the key on her own initiative.

 

Early menopause and lack of libido often indicates lack of hormones. She should as a doctor about hormone replacement therapy.

 

Agreed! But I think most guys lose their motivation after a few days and can't see it through. That is a hard road for a lot of men.