Persuade my wife to try chastity cage on me.

Discussion in 'Introductions' started by Odyssey, Nov 29, 2022.

  1. Odyssey
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    #1 Odyssey, Nov 29, 2022
    Last edited: Nov 29, 2022
    Hi from new member Odyssy. I joined this forum hoping for help on how to persuade my wife to try enforced chastity on me and advice on th best way to do it. I will post a separate thread with more details. Thanks for any help you can give.
     
  2. IB-Chaste
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    Here’s a question? Is it ‘enforced’ male chastity if you are a willing participant?
    My wife keeps me locked 24/7 but I willingly do so…. She doesn’t have to tie me up or anything to get that cage back on. We’re better for living life this way.

    I guess it comes down to your expectations from what you aim to achieve. You would be better selling it as an experiment. Something to try together rather than her becoming a controlling keyholder. See how things progress from there. You’ll probably be surprised yourself at the non-sexual aspects to this.
     
  3. knightly
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    I think the act of enforcing doesn't preclude a willingness to participate. Law enforcement can be done beneficially to a community and is desirable for [most of] those who participate in the community ( = better living for most involved). I see enforcement in this context as taking conscious action over something, not totalitarian control against people's will. Which is desirable, otherwise if she's not into enforcing, the dynamic won't work.

    Enforce definition:
    1. To compel observance of or obedience to.
    2. To impose (a kind of behavior, for example).
    3. To give force to; reinforce.
    I agree with the experiment route and the non-sexual aspects. And sign me up, I'll participate. :)
     
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  4. Jay Sub
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    Jay Sub Long term member

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    Tell us about yourself, wife, marriage and why you want to lock up? If you can't make it her idea, in a way, how do you proceed? Carefully for sure.
     
  5. SubSnuggler
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    SubSnuggler Owned by Mistress2and4you

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    My Wife was only interested in *total control* nothing else. So once I demonstrated I could wear 24/7 she took the key and that was it. I am not permitted to be asking to be let out, no begging, zero ability to masturbate, etc. Unless it's a medical or privacy issue her rule is law. That was the only condition in which she would allow or be involved in chastity.

    It took several years of dedicated work to prove to her I could submit without topping before she took on the role, and it was permanent, no going back, ever. Depending on your wife you could be signing up for something that could be life-changing.

    There are days when I'm desperate, I pine, to stroke myself or even just slide it in my wife whenever I want. But that will never, ever, happen again for me. Not without her permission, and she has found she absolutely loves the control that comes from locking me up, and she will never relinquish it.

    I'm a natural submissive to a dominant female, so it works for me, but be careful what you wish for.
     
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  6. sarah_tv
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    Welcome to the Mansion
     
  7. Odyssey
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    Odyssey Member

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    Sorry I couldn’t explain more earlier - here is more background. We have been married for 27 years - a very happy marriage. We make each other laugh and share lots of interests. Our problems began at the menopause, which arrived quite early. Before that we had an active sex life, afterwards my wife lost all interest and now seems to inwardly resent that I still have a sex drive. She doesn’t like to see me with an erection and became very annoyed to find I had been masturbating. We have nice cuddles in bed, but these often result in an erection and a prompt rejection. I thought a penis cage, even if worn just at night, might reassure her that we face equivalent problems and show that she is in control - she does rather like to be in charge. I mentioned it as a joke and she told me not to be silly - that a grown man should be able to control himself without weird gadgets (her words). I don’t even know if it’s a good idea really, but I know to succeed the initiative must come from her. It is very difficult to see this clearly being so close to it and hope others may have a better perspective.
     
  8. SubSnuggler
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    Ah, so that follow-up helps. Maybe present it as a fun sex toy, not a lifestyle thing. Kinda like a vibrator, something she can tease you with. Chastity cages can come with some baggage she might not want to think about or confront, at least not right away. So strip all that out and tell her what you told us- you want to enjoy intimacy with her, even if penetration is not on the table, and that might be a fun way to make her feel more comfortable.

    As an aside, maybe there is a Women's doctor in the area enlightened enough to check her hormones and levels and maybe put some pep in her step? It sounds like her body has changed and it's not doing her or you or your relationship any favors. Maybe seek some help to get her straightened out, or at least verify she's staying healthy?
     
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  9. Odyssey
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  11. Odyssey
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    I don’t think my wife has any health problems. She is 13 years younger than I and very fit. She likes hill walking and cycling and is generally very healthy. I have always found it hard work to keep up with her physically, even though I am pretty fit too. Unfortunately the sex toy idea probably won’t work. She views vibrators etc as weird gadgets too. I do need to be very careful. If she knew I had been here discussing our problems she would go incandescent. I think the heart of the problem is that the loss of her sex drive hit her hard - especially given our age gap - and this created a long term (but never acknowledged) resentment. Outside this our marriage is still great. I would suggest counselling to her, but I know she would never agree to this because she doesn’t see that there is any problem.
     
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  12. Lazlo Toth
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    Whew! I see a lot of parallels with me and my wife.

    You ain’t alone.
     
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  13. Jessica Alexander
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    So you are going to be ok with being “locked and forgot”? How would she feel if you quit meeting her needs and told her to get over? Unless she starts hormone replacement therapy, her libido is unlikely to come back. She sounds very selfish.
     
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  14. LesterBallard
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    You need to talk to her. None of us can really help you. Good luck and welcome
     
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  15. MissyB
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    Welcome to our community. Enjoy.
     
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  16. Odyssey
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    Sadly, think you are right. This problem has been there for a long time now and I am down to the longest of long shots.
     
  17. Odyssey
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    . It is very reassuring to find that others share similar problems. Even if I don’t find a solution, the act of writing it all down has put things in perspective and cleared my mind. There is no-one I can discuss this with so the forum is a great help.
     
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  18. Lazlo Toth
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    Just be grateful above all your marriage is good. Build from that and be careful not to jeopardize that for the sake of sex. So go easy.
     
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  19. Odyssey
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    Wise words - if it ain’t broke don’t fix it is good advice.
     
  20. SlaveBoy73
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    I’m in a similar boat. My wife can’t and won’t have sex. The last sexual experience she had was in bathtub with me fingering her pussy.
    She said she enjoyed it but then she totally lost power to walk and no sex drive now. She has a catheter too so no playing with her clit
    The only sex now is her watching me humiliate myself and ruining my orgasms.

    I’m her servant slave and that’s the extent of it.
     
  21. Chaz69
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    Chaz69 Long term member

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    @Odyssey , based on your follow-up post, I think chastity could be perfect for you. If you still have a sex drive, but she does not, and she hates to see you have an erection, and hates that you're masturbating, this could be the perfect solution. But, as others have said, there is a strong possibility for "lock and forget" and you'd need to be ok with that before you even suggest this. She says that you should be able to control yourself, but she doesn't understand as she's not a man and doesn't have male hormones. So, you could present this as a way for her to take control. If she wants, she can keep you locked permanently and you'll never have an erection again, but if she wants to let you out once in a while, either because she's horny or just to give you some relief, that would be her choice.

    Being locked can be incredibly exciting all by itself, you can feel sexy and kinky all the time, every day, even without getting any action. And the longer you're locked, the more those feelings build. But you do need to be prepared for the case where, she might lock you and keep you locked for long periods of time, maybe even for ever, and you would need to be ok with that, because it's what you asked for.
     
  22. IB-Chaste
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    IB-Chaste Long term member

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    When the key goes in the lock you may have had the last full orgasm you’ll ever experience.
    I’ve heard stories of that happening :(
     
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  23. Jessica Alexander
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    Being locked doesn’t diminish libido which will likely increase as you have no outlet. She doesn’t seem to have any desire to accommodate your needs and is offended that you would take care of it on your own. You are likely to grow resentful as time passes. Maybe you should talk to your doctor and explain the situation and ask for something that would kill your sex drive as well. It’s sad to see a once loving couple become room mates though.
     
  24. JaySaysYes
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    JaySaysYes Level-4 Sarcasm Master, PhD in Google, Ace Pedant.

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    Tell her you'll do everything she asks, without question, and you won't whine or complain once.

    Tell her if you break those simple rules she can return the keys and you'll never mention it again.
     
  25. Chaz69
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    Chaz69 Long term member

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    It's a very simple procedure

    Castration.jpg
     
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