Pegging & Plugs ... (for beginners)

Discussion in 'Female led relationships' started by Feathers.Sub, Jan 5, 2021.

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  1. Feathers.Sub
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    Feathers.Sub Member

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    Hello,

    we (@feather & me) ordered a few toys... now while the "unboxing" will come close, I am kind of nervous and think that I didn't make all of my homework.
    We ordered a strapon and some plugs and now thinking about it, I feel that there is lots of "mindfuck'ing" happening. Mainly because I am totally leaving the area of self confidence and knowledge because I have never ever let someone come close to this special spot.
    While this is a great trigger to myinner sub, I know that this is bigger than just the physical/sexual aspect (I might add my thoughts in my journal (FlighLog) later on.
    I would like to hear some suggestions how other have started this and what there first thoughts and also experiences were. and also - don't laugh - ask if there are any "don't try this at thome" when doing this.

    I have various thoughts, which range from something which is easy to put in, but won't come out or that something bad happens and this will become a total mess ("shit happens...") :eek:

    As such I would appreciate to hear how others have managed overcoming their "fears".
    Additionally I would like to wear a plug and also my cage but at the same time I don't to put my sweet little ass into danger, for example the first reflex is that if I wear a plug during the day ... what happens if I take it out, do I need a "stopper" to close everything, unlike other's I am very much NOT (!) into wearing diapers :)
    Asking even my closest friend (who doesn't know anything about our FLR) if he has ever played arround with a plug is already a no go for me, therefore I'll drop this here.

    @mods:
    Not sure if this is the right board, but because pegging is definitly MORE than a sexual thing and also triggering my mind (a lot) it seems to me that it belongs to the FLR forum.
    Please move this thread if you think it belongs somewhere else.

    "there's one one more thing": Non-fictional answers are highly appriciated

    feathers.sub
     
  2. Pretty Monnica
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    Pretty Monnica 24/7365 chastized sissy in an FLR.

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    #2 Pretty Monnica, Jan 5, 2021
    Last edited: Jan 5, 2021
    There is a lot of really good info if you Google this the right way. I am never into using gross or vulgar terms to describe it, and won't here.

    Firstly, an enema kit of some sort is a must if you want to do it for much more than a few minutes. I got mine from Amazon. That part, I lock myself in the bathroom for and turn the volume up on music or the tv.

    Second, Advil and Tylenol about 25 minutes before you want to start stretching yourself down there helps. There are 2 muscles that hold you closed. The inner one hurts quite a bit until you get used to the sensation of opening it.

    Plugs help, but wearing say, a 1" diameter for 10 minutes, does no more or less stretching than for 8 hours. (if that makes sense). I use a really large one right before I get fucked for around 15 minutes to really open it up. I walk around a bit. Stretch, listen to some music, watch some tranny porn for inspiration.

    Yes, if you wear a plug for a longer time, you do want to be careful upon removing it. It can be a bit nasty, but I keep sanitizing wipes and a sink and soap very close by.

    Here's the hardest (pardon the accidental pun) part:

    Expectation. There is a process to it, and it takes a bit of time, and practice to get used to the sensation. I joke with my Goddess that I have fucked more than Jenna Jameson, if you include pre strap on practice. But when I began, I could barely take 4" of anything too big, despite wanting to. It's a bit painful at first, but over time, you end up getting past that. I wanted to fuck like a porn star, but as most of us have learned, the first few times are a learning curve.

    As for your Domme, they too come to realize that it is a painful process, and in some cases, did anal without any prep in the heat of the moment themselves at some point. More than anything, they don't get much physical stimulation from it, but in most cases, as long as it is clean and condoms and rubber gloves are used, come to enjoy it from a very different mental place.

    As for fears, I guess the problem with me is that from about age 20 on, my own fantasies were to be a tranny porn star or a shemale type, so mine wasn't fearful as much as determined curiosity. Maybe some of the more masc types here can speak to that.

    Good luck. Preparation is the key to getting the most out of it.

    M.
     
  3. King Hippo
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    King Hippo Active member

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    Anything is worth a try once or twice, if you don't like it just be honest with your partner about it. I am sure they wouldn't force anything on you that would hurt you.
     
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  4. Thomas Gangman
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    Thomas Gangman Active member

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    We started pegging back in our bdsm days and easily incorporated the act into our chastity lifestyle. It is a combination of a hot sex act and her dominance over me.

    even during a dominance session the key thing is communication, if I feel pain I let her know so she can adjust or slow the process. Discomfort is one thing, pain is a warning things could go wrong. Hygiene is a must but not as important as taking time to perform the act correctly.

    I am one of the lucky ones, I can tell when I need an enema prior to the act and nearly 99% accurate in my projection. For those times I’m not sure, we an enema kit as part of the act. There is some humiliation involved when she gives me the enema and is part of the experience.

    after a good cleansing and a shower we are ready to start. The key thing in my preparation, have a drink or two (wine, margarita, etc.) prior to starting because it helps me relax. Depending on the time set aside for our bdsm session, she may insert a small butt plug for 30 minutes followed by a medium plug for another 30 minutes. She will always wear vinyl glove to place the lube around my anus and slip a finger in slightly before inserting a well lubed plug. The best trick she learned is taking off the gloves and rolling them up like a nurse does in the hospital.

    most times she will have me give her a blow job prior to the pegging, this can me just sucking her off, practicing deep throating, or if her mood is dark face fucking me. To mind fuck me, she tells me she is having me practice for a gay stud she is going to pay to fuck me or at our next chastity party get fuck by a guy who will be released only if he wants an orgasm in my mouth or ass. It has never happened and most likely never will, but it does play on your mind.

    We use 4 positions, me on my back on a table mounted to a bondage horse, kneeling on the bondage horse, kneeling on the floor chest on a short table, or standing bent over in neck and wrist stocks. Several of the positions require her to be standing or kneeling on a home built platform to compensate for the height difference between us. I enjoy being on my back to look into her eyes, she likes me face down for dominance. I like having to place ankles up on her shoulders when she fucks me, like when I do when I want to pound her deep. She claims my boney heels hurt her shoulders.

    for us the key is time and preparation, all start with removal of the butt plug if used and the insertion of a very lubed finger. Once it’s all the way in she slowly works it around and when she feels I’m ready, removes it , adds more lube and gets 2 fingers in there. She will slowly keep pushing in, do a stop and start until she is fully inserted, pause for a bit and very slowly move in and out. Once she feels I am opened up, will withdraw, change her gloves and then lube up the strap-on.

    we are not size monsters, the 2 primary sizes are both 6-7 inches longs, one 1 inch and the other 1.25 inches wide, we have been discussing going 1.5 inches wide and see if I can handle it. I’m not sure how some people get something 2 inches wide in there, but I’m not a professional porn star. The size is her decision and also depends on her mood. If she wants to pound me it’s the smaller size, but mostly her choice is the 1.25 inch toy. Pegging is a chore for women, they get little physical stimulation from the act, but when she is pissed because of work it’s a real good mental relief valve for her.

    I would like to say I adapted to this right away but that would be a lie. When we first started, the finger felt like a bus, the plug felt like a train, and the strap-on felt like a cargo ship. The finger was easy to handle, the butt plug was not too bad because of the taper. While I handled the first 2 with relative acceptance, the first few times with the dildo was a struggle. Even with the diameters of all 3 things nearly the same, the mental challenges of the invasion was difficult. If she got 2 or 3 inches in before I begged her to stop, that was a milestone. Once I accepted and started to enjoy my roles, it became easier. There are still times it can still generate a little pain, it’s over quick and I slip into the sub role.

    I am lucky my wife like to play and sometimes even play rough. Part of it is she does like to be dominant and is kinky. Plus she says it makes up for all the times I have done and still do anal on her.
     
  5. MissyB
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    MissyB Active member

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    True experiences of anal play and being pegged sound much more exciting than the porn type projections of the act. I can see so much submission in these accounts but also the love of the Domme to take you in this way. I envy your relationship this way and wish i might have those experiences some day. Thanks for sharing.
     
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  6. Darlydixon
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    Darlydixon I love to be limpy

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    I am also beginning stages of the use of a plug jeep is posted on the events
     
  7. sissydavenport
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    sissydavenport Locked sissy sub / spouse of Mistress Davenport

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    The absolute basics of exploring your second erogenous zone:

    1. You should be turned on by the idea of something being in your bum / pegging. Without this, nothing else matters. Things will be uncomfortable and different, so the idea of arousal has to sustain you until you get used to things and learn how to enjoy the physical activity.

    2. There are only about 4~ inches of "good stuff" in your bottom. This includes your prostate, which functions similar to the internal part of the clitoris (and to complete the analogy, your penis is the external clitoris). Spend some time on your own exploring how things "work" in there for you. This is one of my favorite parts of pegging, is that you get in touch with your body in a way that is much different than your boy bits.

    3. Lube is your friend. Apply early and often as your rim will act like a sponge, especially in the beginning as lube needs to find its way outside, inside, and in the middle. I like really good water-based (Swiss Navy).

    4. Big / hard movements are not your friend. See #2. Small, gentle movements and massaging are what works here. Poking your prostate is not good, but massaging your prostate is. Small movement is good and the rhythm is something you ease into. Find what feels good and just get lost in the rhythm of it.

    5. Before a pegging, it is a good idea to wear a plug for a bit (15 minutes). Put it in before foreplay as not to interrupt the mood. Before putting in plugs in the early days, have some foreplay first (touching / spanking / pleasuring your Mistress). It is far easier to take a plug when you are turned on than not.

    6. Enemas are not absolutely necessary and poop is an occupational hazard (which can happen even when you clear things out, so everyone be cook when it inevitably makes an appearance). If you decide to use an enema, treat it like rinsing out your mouth. Swoosh and spit a few times and don't add too much liquid (imagine rinsing your mouth out by swallowing a quart of water!), you're only interested in clearing out the staging area.

    7. Materials and size matter. Glass anal toys are great, plastic can work, soft and rubbery vary by brand / actual material. With size, see #2, you're interested in the good bits (unless you become a size queen, at which point my advice does not apply so much).

    8. It takes a really long time to achieve all the pleasure for anal activities, and even longer to figure out milking, and even longer than that to figure out how to squirt from anal stimulation only. To start, just make sure that the anal part is enjoyable. A nice transition is to use a vibrating wand (ex: Hitachi) on your boy bits. It lets you feel the anal portion while having the vibrating distraction.

    9. There is a truly different set of emotions / connection with your Mistress that comes out after a pegging. They are amazing and you should not ignore them.

    xo
    nancy!
     
  8. princeofpersia
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    I am sorry if I sound stupid but if there is any discomfort, is it dangerous or unhealthy?
    My gf is a sadist and she enjoys inflicting pain. She likes the idea of pegging because she thinks I would feel pain. I wanted to see if there is any healthy way to feel pain and not get hurt by pegging?
     
  9. sissydavenport
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    sissydavenport Locked sissy sub / spouse of Mistress Davenport

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    When it comes to pegging, there are no stupid questions. Yes, there is discomfort but it is only dangerous if you use an instrument that is too large, and only unhealthy if you don't clean your toys after use well. The discomfort in the beginning is as you acclimate to the dildo. Essentially, it's up to you as the sub to make little "please no, Mistress" noises as She pegs you. Then, eventually it starts feeling good... then REALLY good, but it's up to you to moan in those pathetic ways. This way, both parties win. Happy pegging!

    -nancy
     
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  10. princeofpersia
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    Thank you!
     
  11. Feathers.Sub
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    Feathers.Sub Member

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    Hello and thanks to all of you for the detailed answers.
    I had mixed feelings about the topic because to me it sounds like it becomes very complicated and needs lots of preparations which is somehow a dealbreaker for me.
    As such I did a test with one of the plugs we ordered (PRETTY LOVE Stimulating Ball Plug)..
    It wasn't a big deal applying and wearing the plug (45mm length and:32mm diameter).
    It felt more funny than getting a huge turn on with it.
    Because it has a metal ball inside which is bouncing a bit during walking it, it's like a small reminder but not that of a big deal. To me it has a more psychological effect, if I'm in a meeting with a customer and I get a small reminder it take part of my focus and bring it to the submissive space. I like that but as sex toy alone it's not that big during the day.
    I tend to go into some kind of work tunnel, when I am busy and therefore if I don't have to walk arround I think I would even forgett that it's there.
    Additionally there is something which doesn't feel right adding to much sextoys to my FLR, because it could let to the feeling that its more about toys and how to use them than my loved one/KH.
    Something I would never ever allow to happen.
    What I got from the "plug-experience" so far: I don't think that I need a lot of steps to be ready for pegging and it would also feels strange if I need to got through a x steps routine.
    Regarding the plug, it seems to be a very low treshold thing if someone wants to go down this road.

    feathers.sub
     
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  12. JackStrap
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    JackStrap Member

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    I've been dildoed + BJd by my KH and fingerfucked + BJd by my lover during the past week.

    And I loved the both experiences. My KH pegs me couple of times a year. Unfortunately is not very big fan or it. But she has no objections, if I ask nicely. And there are no other ways to ask.

    Anyway.

    I recommend to put a towel or similar under your butt, so possible surprises will not cause major circus.

    Also, a safe word might be a good idea, (especially if your lady has sadistic tendencies). Minor discomfort should not come as a surprise, but if there's something "wrong", it might be a really good thing to have a way of indicating "I'm serious, stop now". You will probably be more ready to relax and enjoy, when you know there's a way out if things turn out bad (they should not, but hey, life is full of surprises).

    Towel or something similar would be a good idea even when inserting a penis in someones butt for the purposes of plain vanilla anal sex. It's much easier and faster to clean up the towel instead of the sofa and the mattress if the worst comes to worst. Luckily we (me and my then-lover) were both adult enough to handle the situation like adults, but even we did not want to talk about it afterwards :)

    Regarding butt plugs: Some people wear them for prolonged times but I don't even think about using them for more than half an hour or so. My plugs are large (3+ inches) and they get really uncomfortable after some time. In addition, the colon gets irritated, and there will be extraneous gases, adding to the discomfort. A smaller plug is possible easier to keep in for some time, butt I experience no pleasure from them. Butt to each to his own, or how the saying goes.

    It might be a great idea to get familiar with your butt by yourself before letting a sadistic and intensive significant or some other to ram in with full force. Take a dildo and lube and and enough time to poke around (pardon my especially bad puns and intentional typos today).

    All in all, you are about to have lots of new and exciting experiences waiting. Be the man your woman expects you to be and enjoy!
     
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  13. LockedPom
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    LockedPom Active member

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    There may be some discomfort but it shouldn't be painful if you take it slowly and use lube. It should be a pleasurable experience. Your body will tell you if there is something not right!
     
  14. LockedUpL
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    LockedUpL Member

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    Dont want to over step my mark or be the forum police but there is a whole forum section (in related links) devoted to pegging full of great info. Not everyone into flr will want to read this (although I suspect most would!)

    Btw, I love a good pegging and I think it is one of the highest forms of submission I have experienced. Dont think I've ever find it to be painful in the way you have described.
     
  15. Feathers.Sub
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    Hello,

    thank you for all the feedback so far. We had a short break regarding this topic, because some of it (preparation etc.) was to much hazzle for us and how we practice sex, because there is no plan - it just happens.
    I'd like to give a feedback how things have been evolved compared to two weeks ago.
    More precise @feather "asked" me to write down my experience.
    To summarize: we're in! More precide she is (in me o_O) AND ... I must admit, that I seem to like it ... a lot.
    After we have read some of the answers here, we went through a little crisis, because we felt that there was to much preparion included and also because (my intepretation) there was to much pressure on her, doing this (and doing it right).
    We had some good communication and put all the equipment aside and took a short CM-break, which was a very good decision. I had some bad feelings because I came up with the idea and was topping from the bottom without knowing it.
    Sex and also the FLR with her is always also very funny, which may sound strange, but it wouldn't work without it. So after more than a week, she started talking about "the bouncer" (this is the name of the strapon) and "how the bouncer will get me" etc. ... I didn't take it too seriously but luckily "prepared" myself, to keep everything clean.
    I wouldn't go into to much details but one night we tried it out and it was fun (because she mentioned "the bouncer" several times during the night, then felt a sleep, mentioned it again, felt a sleep and then finally "the bouncer" was coming). As a sidenode ... she insisted that she didn't felt a sleep within the big announcement. And as a sub .. I must admit, that she is right of course ;)
    The feeling is pretty intense and ... great. I feel so connected to her and we also need to communicate very well, because she has the power with the strap-on .. but I didn't know how tight it can be, if someone is not prepared (in the mind) to let go.
    As such pegging for me has (of course) a physical aspect but there is something else in my mind, which is at least as intense.
    - I am in very unusal position.
    - something is entering me from a place, which has been very (!) private
    - beeing a very controled person, there is NO WAY I can stay quiet, which was fun, but I was also ashamed,
    because I heard myself talking like a worldclass porn star "uuh, yes .. ahh.. no no wait, oh my god ... yaaaah... yes,,, yes ,,,". I am smiling and laughing while typing this.
    While I couldn't see her, I knew she was smiling, when she mentioned something like: Ah, I like that you're making these noises, while slowly moving "the bouncer" forward.
    Later on, she also used her fingers on me, which she liked more, because there is more feeling for her involved than using a big peace of silicon.

    I understand, that pegging might not be for everyone, but for me it has a lot to do with beeing submissive which is the core of our FLR. Of course you can practice anal sex just as part of your normal sex, but for me as a male it's something different to put myself in such a position and also trying not to takeover control which is only possible through trust and communciation, which I consider the DNA of our FLR.

    Pegging was a very big topic before for me and I was kind of afraif to push her to do something she doesn't feels comfortable with and also that we will not do it right and it will become a total mess or result in some bad injury ... in the end, I am very happy that it is like everything else, just have the courage to talk about it and find someone who is not interested in doing it right and perfect the first time but to be curious and have fun practicing and TALKING about it,

    At least for me there was no big perparation needed, the only thing was that I had to know that it will not end in a very big & dirty mess, which isn't the case, if you spent some time with prepations (cleaning with water) and which I consider already part of the experience because it feels so great to prepare myself for her.
    There was no need to use X minuted with a Plug of Size B and then walk arround, trink tea, relax, use another Plug for X minutes. In the end it was just trust within us that we will have fun playing with it and if it won't work for us, we would still have fun on the way.
    It's great and I highly suggest trying it out (without having any special picture in mind, how it should be).
    Just having her crossing something which has been a private border (nobody was allowed to touch me there before) is amazing.
    And even just the talk about it was so funny and to @feather : It's you not "the bouncer" which is making the difference. :love:
    Feather.sub
     
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  16. Robins toy
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    Robins toy Member

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    I'm so glad you had a wonderful experience with this! My wife/KH and I have been pegging for quite a while. We had a similar experience to yours. It wasn't all about the prep, it was about us both being ready to experience something new in our intimacy. Now th!t we are both acclimated to pegging, she will occasionally strap my ankles to the headboard and have a go at my ass. Sometimes I come to bed and she is wearing her "pegging panties" and I know to let her spoon me. (She may not do anything other than let the dildo lay in the crack of my ass, but it's still pleasurable!)

    The point is to explore together and find what works for the 2 of you. .... that's what matters.

    Take advice on cleanliness and stopping if you feel too much pain. Take advice on any safe word stipulation. Then take your bodies advice on what you need to do to prepare! Your body and your partner will determine the amount of pleasure you both get out of this.

    My lady feels powerful when she subdues her strong man and rides him. That's the pleasure she gets! I feel like my universe is exploding and my ass is the center of it.....the "Big Bang Theory ", if you will.

    Its different for every person, every couple, every partner. Safely find out what works for you and know that it will change as your body changes.

    That's my advice, for what it's worth!
     
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  17. tvalex
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    tvalex Active member

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    I'm glad you both enjoyed it. Sometimes we over think these things too much. Then need to take a step back like you did.
     
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