Part 5 ~ The best thing about the future is it only comes one day at a time...

Discussion in 'Journals and blogs' started by Mistress Watchful, Jan 1, 2009.

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  1. Mistress Watchful
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    Mistress Watchful Dont believe the hype ;oP

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    I never did get back last night did I ... lol!

    Dinner was SUPER scrummy. I love it when pet cooks "proper" food. Makes me feel very pampered.

    I'd visited La Senza in the afternoon, I've been very disappointed in their ranges lately, but something caught my eye for November. It's probably more suited for a sissy, but I liked it, so blah!

    I also bought 5 new pairs of panties specifically to be my new pyjamas.

    I've slipped back into slovenly ways lately in the boudoir so I figured just wearing panties to bed and leaving my breasts exposed would liven things up a bit... and it worked.

    I was sat in bed in just panties, surfing more porn (I have discovered that what I like watching most of all is close ups of cocks sliding in and out of, or pounding, pussies!) when pet snuggled up to me and asked if he could suck on my nipples.

    Not a problem... I love this, so I settled down to more porn as pet licked and sucked away. It was obvious I was getting very excited and pet slipped his hand down to my pussy just as I spread my legs open (great minds think alike) and it didn't take long before I came very hard. pet didn't stop, and started to push his fingers inside me and stroke my g-spot, which just made me even more horny.

    I pushed the laptop off to one side, yanked off my panties and pulled pet on top of me, intending to get a really hard fuck. I figured that pet would happily oblige seeing as I'd already cum so hard.

    Unfortunately (as usual) things didn't go to plan and I ended up in a bit of a frustrated mess, wanting a big cock to fuck me hard, and then getting a bit fed up that we've opened up these doors again, and what would usually be great sex had left me feeling a bit wanting...

    I'm still horny as fuck this morning, so maybe a good banging this evening will sort me out!
     
  2. Jimi123
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    Jimi123 Senior Member

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    I think that penile splint (Sheath) you mentioned in another post is a perfect solution to your needs and btw you migh find that the numbing cream is overkill. He will find it very difficult to climax if its on properly assuring you a very nice long (hard) fuck.
     
  3. Mistress Watchful
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    Mistress Watchful Dont believe the hype ;oP

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    I'm in a strange place at the moment, which is nothing unusual for me!

    The whole cuckolding thing seems to be bouncing round in both our minds. I go through phases of thinking about being wined and dined and seduced by Mr Alpha Male, and then through phases of just raw sex... lots of hard fucking!

    In both cases they bring up uneasy feelings inside me. I don't like the idea of "leading someone on". The people who we have so far considered for the Alpha Male role know our stance on the whole situation and are ok with it, but I can't help feeling like I'm "using" them.

    I'm also a bit concerned about how our sex life is going.

    It's definitely not very regular at the moment, but as ever this is due to all the crazy life stuff we have to deal with. But when we do have sex it's as if pet has already talked himself into doing a bad job! :spider:

    Don't get me wrong. pet still knows how to push alllll the right buttons manually, but when it gets down to actual intercourse, he's really struggling. He seems stressed, miserable, just blah about the whole situation.

    Me being me worries that it just doesn't feel good for him anymore, or that he just doesn't find me attractive, or that he can't be bothered but knows I'm horny so *has* to have sex with me.

    Another part of me wonders if he's got this cuckold thing so much in his head that he is now talking himself into being "the useless cuck" in a subconcious way to push me further towards fucking someone else.

    Generally things are ok between us, I guess we are just having one of those sexual appetite imbalances at the moment.

    I do have a parcel turning up from Autumn's Sub Shop today.... so maybe things will perk up then! :character0180:
     
  4. PuppyMastersPet
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    PuppyMastersPet Long term member

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    You really shouldn’t be so hard on yourself. You’re beginning to over analyse everything again. I’m sure Pet finds you very attractive still and thinks himself very lucky to have you. This is part of the problem with being a submissive though. I’m not sure if Pet is the same but when Master offers to let me make love to him I’m usually quite hesitant and it’s because I’m submissive that I a) don’t want to gain pleasure and b) know that I will probably cum and then ruin everything for the next 2 weeks. So over time you begin to build a negative view of sex and prefer to stimulate your partner manually as you put it or with me I can at least receive to put it politely.

    Hope that makes some sense. You really shouldn’t worry. When Master asks me what is wrong and why I don’t want to make love to him I find it hard to talk about and often go back into my shell.

    As for the cuckolding I may as well have a stab at that as well lol. I often have thoughts about it although I know it will never happen and that is probably a good thing at least where Master an I are concerned. Cuckolding is just a natural extension of the no pleasure feeling, the idea of being cuckolded begins to get exciting and can seem like an easy way out. It’s win win for the sub, it’s exciting and your dom gets lots of pleasure without the sub receiving any direct pleasure. So you can see why it would be appealing for a sub. If it actually works out that way, I couldn’t say.

    As for yourself you have to think long and hard if that’s what you want. And as for the man you would be bringing in I think you over estimate most men, I think they would just be happy to be getting some action and will probably get off on the power trip even if they are still for the most part vanilla.

    I could be wrong of course, I’m just writing from my gut feeling but it seems to make sense?
     
  5. Mistress Watchful
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    Mistress Watchful Dont believe the hype ;oP

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    Hey kris, I'll read that properly later, but right now I need to go and hide under a duvet somewhere.

    The parcel turned up and none of it fits. :mad0054:

    Yet more hundreds of thrown into the great big fucking hole of "lets pretend we have a sex life".

    Even vanilla couples are having more, and probably kinkier, sex than I'm having right now.

    What's the point? I am an old, fat, unattractive (my darling husband's words) woman who really needs to suck it up and realise she's past it.

    I'm off to sulk in a corner and wish I'd spent the money on chocolate. Or rent boys. Or both.
     
  6. PuppyMaster
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    PuppyMaster Puppy Master

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    I can't believe you just said that! or that he said that about you!

    You are none of that! It sounds like your in a crappy place at the moment, and I know how that feels, I too start beating myself up, convincing myself that I'm shit.

    At the end of the day though your not, you are allowed to have down days, we're not all superheroes. I hope you start feeling better soon.

    I'm sorry this a short post but I really need to be getting ready for work, but I just couldn't leave it without saying something.

    Chin up, I know it's hard but it'll be fine, it may not feel like it at the moment but trust me it will.
     
  7. Mistress Watchful
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    Mistress Watchful Dont believe the hype ;oP

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    That was the moment I finally decided our relationship was over Kris' Master. It must have been over 4 years ago now, but I still remember it. After he said it I went and got tipsy on vodka or something and had a phone conversation with pet... I have a photo somewhere of me on the phone with the drink in a blue bikini. I then got hubby to drive me to the train station and went to meet pet. So all in all good things came of that statement!

    And yeah, I'm in a super bad place right now which wasn't helped by realising there's no way in HELL I'm ever going to look like the girls on the websites.

    I really REALLY need to find a look that suits me... but then what's the point when nothing in this lifestyle goes my way?! Eughhhhhhh.... :mad0214:

    Have a good day at work guys! Maybe I'll have done some fake tanning and feel a bit better later.
     
  8. ladylionzsissy
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    ladylionzsissy male chastity sissymaid

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    oh dear MsWatchful... it feel like You're going through a phase. it's normal to have ups-and-downs especially with the weight of the world on your shoulders. now, if You'd like i could gen-up and interpret Your horoscope along with pet's for some additional insight, if You'd like... ::Curtsies::
     
  9. Rachel
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    Rachel Owned by Mistress Michelle

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    MW Sherry goes through these same feelings a lot. i will tell you the same thing i tell her. It's all about attitude. If you think you are a sexy beautiful person you will be and pet will realize it too. At our local watering hole there is a girl that comes in there that is how should i say a larger sized woman. i check her out every time she comes in. Sherry always asks me why when she is bigger then Sherry is. i just tell her she has the attitude that she is sexy and good looking, dresses the part and there fore is sexy and good looking. If she came in there in baggy clothes with her head down looking like she is trying to hide from the world i wouldn't give her a second look. She however comes in with her head held high and an attitude that she is beautiful. It's kinda like real estate but instead of location, location, location it's attitude, attitude, attitude. Remember though this advice is coming from a male that is more comfortable in female clothes. i just thought of that and it struck me as kinda funny.

    Rachel
     
  10. ALLORNOWT
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    ALLORNOWT Senior Member

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    Mistress Watchful as one of those blokes ,i should if you dont mind me saying like to point out that there are literally hundreds and hundreds of males out there who would die for the chance to have someone of your persuasion enter into their humdrum lives. I t is so rare to find someone who is intellectual and engaging who can understand that we all have certain needs in life some straightforward some not so and can not judge or disregard these merely as strange . You have truly been inspirational to me in my short times since stumbling over this site and although things in my own life are now in a beautiful place it hasn,t always been so and when it happens life can seem a very lonely and daunting place to be in. Trust me your OH must realise he has in you a wonderful and vibrant person and should count himself very lucky and apologise for things said in the heat of the moment. Finally i should also like to point out that you have friends here on this site and you will never be short of company if needed to chat over lifes problems..........ps on a lighter note you could always call him a fuckwit and meet me at ess and emms ...................lol .be happy(seriously):anim_37:
     
  11. Mistress Watchful
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    Mistress Watchful Dont believe the hype ;oP

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    Lol.

    Ok, it would turn out I'm coming down with something which may be screwing with my normal, placid, sensible self (HUGE sarcastic comment! PMSL)

    pet seems worried about something and has done half my work today whilst I've slept things off. I have been very mean to him today and the reaction I'm getting isn't what I expected, him being all submissive and nice... but it's a real turn on!

    We've been really up and down over the past few days about sex and cuckolding and chastity... I don't know how we got all confused again.

    On a good note, for some odd reason I decided to try on a few rubber outfits I bought from Honour YEARS ago! They fit! That really cheered me up and made me figure that perhaps the US stuff is just odd sized.

    And now I just feel horrible with a dizzy head and stuffy nose, so pet is running round doing my errands and buying me icecream! :loveCM:
     
  12. ALLORNOWT
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    ALLORNOWT Senior Member

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    Oh great i am pleased to hear that things are settling down a little and i hope you sort things out . Bet the rubber suits looked just fabulous on you Mistress Watchful and if there are any snaps you want approval on i am willing to check them out for you....lol.......ps i suppose the trip to ess and emms is off then is it? (sod it)!damn :anim_39:
     
  13. PuppyMaster
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    PuppyMaster Puppy Master

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    I'd have been outta there too! I think kris woulda got a bitch slap if he ever said anything like that :anim_38:

    So, You had chance to tan? that always makes me feel better, that POD thing on snog marry avoid would hate me! if ya aint seen it there should be clips on youtube. I like fakery to much!

    As for the girls on websites, I take it's the same with boys?! I see these guys with six packs and such looking hot, then me with my tum and it gets me down too, I guess we just need to be comfortable with who we are, hard as it is.

    I bet though, those girls are complete bitches, with no intelligence and nothing clever to say. Now you on the other hand come accross as very intelligent, and they do say the brain is the sexiest organ in the body.

    If ya need to vent ya can message me, ya know i'll listen, and I'm sure Kris would too. *huggz*
     
  14. madamsboy
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    madamsboy Looking for a special female

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    I understand how you feel. Madam does have similar issues. If it weren't for our beliefs Madam would have already cuckolded me. She has already laid naked with another guy (literally). Madam is not what "society" calls a supermodel but to me she is beautiful and I love her dearly. Madam is a bit overweight by most standards, I love her regardless.
    I think I had a point somewhere in there :gotme:
     
  15. Jimi123
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    Jimi123 Senior Member

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    I just wanted to add that your being really hard on yourself. Your way "Hot" and I'm not sure who you think you don't compare to on the web but.... As to leading on an Alpha Male? I think the guy would be more then a little pleased to be given the chance to be intimate with you and if its maybe not the typical Vanilla experience? Well I suppose that for some random guy that might be a tad unusual but I think in the middle of some of this hard pounding sex you've mentioned? I doubt that he will be thinking about that. ;-)

    Your comment on Pet living up to being the "worthless" cuckold is good food for thought but I think the two of you have been pretty good at showing that you don't have to fit anyones mold of what chastity or whatever has to be. Why not just lean into a more "hotwife" and participating husband type thing if thats what you want? Its not like the Chastity police will come and take away your sex toys!

    Anyway, don't get down on yourself we still love you!:manga_devil:
     
  16. ALLORNOWT
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    ALLORNOWT Senior Member

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    just a quickie after reading jimi,s reply to you mistress watchful...........if you are being "too hard on yourself" why do you need a male at all? ......lol:character0182:
     
  17. Mistress Watchful
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    Mistress Watchful Dont believe the hype ;oP

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    Lol @ you all.

    I was right though - I'm all sneezy today and feeling very sorry for myself!

    I didn't get to fake tan, but I did get to epilate! Oh what sexy fun! Anyway, it made me feel a bit better.

    I know which tanning episode you mean Kris Master, I don't think either you or me would go THAT far! You've been Tango'd!

    And AON... as to Ess and Emm... I think we can all tell you've been locked up for a a little while now! Down boy!
     
  18. ALLORNOWT
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    ALLORNOWT Senior Member

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    Yes thanks for reminding me Mistress Watchful........i almost forgot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i have to say i dont think getting a cold is grounds for divorce just yet......oh and rumours being put around by some people that i may be getting a tad frustrated after being in lockup for a while are........BLOODY TRUE...........:anim_39:
     
  19. Mistress Watchful
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    Mistress Watchful Dont believe the hype ;oP

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    Not happy... not happy AT ALL! :mad0214:

    Apart from still being a bit sneezy and sniffly (and I don't do ill, so I won't let it turn into a cold!) I decided to lock pet up last night.

    Because the PA5000 didn't seem to be working out, I made him fish out the birdlocked.

    Did a little bit of teasing, but wasn't feeling up to much so fell asleep.

    I heard pet get up 4 hours later (not sure if he'd slept much because he'd been very fidgety) and go to the bathroom. I figured he'd come back and ask for the key so I sat up and had a drink.

    pet came back into the bedroom with half of the birdlocked in his hand... the locking pin had broken.

    I think it was because the padlock was a very tight fit, but pet says no.

    Not sure what we do now, all I know is I'm very pissed off that I was looking forward to getting back to playing and now we have NO DEVICE!

    Really messes with my head. Not happy. :spider:
     
  20. ALLORNOWT
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    ALLORNOWT Senior Member

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    come on mistress watchful take that lemsip and calm down dear its only a commercial..... I think you should bite the bullet and get pet a full steel belt and then once he is securely locked up in it he wouldn,t dare annoy or say a word out of place, it also solves the buying numerous devices that keep failing or failing to perform. I know from past experience having tried most part way devices compared to the full steel types they are mere toys....:anim_37:
     
  21. Mistress Watchful
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    Mistress Watchful Dont believe the hype ;oP

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    I don't like the idea of full steel belts on pet. On me, yes, on pet, no.
     
  22. ALLORNOWT
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    ALLORNOWT Senior Member

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    oh well thats the problem solved then off to sheffield:anim_37:
     
  23. ALLORNOWT
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    ALLORNOWT Senior Member

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    oh and well you are up at richards ask him if you can do your photoshoot near the workshop. SIMPLESckkckk:anim_37:
     
  24. Mistress Watchful
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    Mistress Watchful Dont believe the hype ;oP

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    Thank you for solving my life's problems AON.

    What did I do without you?
     
  25. madamsboy
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    madamsboy Looking for a special female

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    if it is just the pin that broke, have you thought about zip ties? or a steel pin? both are available at hardware stores here in the US
     
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