Part 5 ~ The best thing about the future is it only comes one day at a time...

Discussion in 'Journals and blogs' started by Mistress Watchful, Jan 1, 2009.

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  1. sophia
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    sophia Senior Member

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    I could not agree more! Will people never learn? :rules:

    sophia (gurl)
     
  2. Jimi123
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    Jimi123 Senior Member

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    I know this is an old message but why not change the "rules" and tell him how much you enjoy hearing him beg for sex? And while your pondering that what ever happened with the Feeldoe??? ;-)

     
  3. Mistress Watchful
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    Mistress Watchful Dont believe the hype ;oP

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    Hey... we're back!

    I'm glad to see everyone behaved whilst we were away. With any luck pet will look into the chatroom issue soon, but he just downloaded the coding for his computer exam, and he's into that at the moment.

    It was nice to get away, but now I'm really REALLY bogged down with yet another assignment due on Friday, and another one due next Wednesday. Hopefully after that I will catch my breath.
     
  4. dollyanne
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    dollyanne Sissy who loves pink frilly things!

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    Welcome back, Mistress Watchful! Back in the fire already! Hope Your time away was restful and pleasant. Except for a spammer, people have been behaving themselves. Good luck on Your assignments!

    Curtsey,
    :butterfly:
    dollyanne
     
  5. Mistress Watchful
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    Mistress Watchful Dont believe the hype ;oP

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    Thanks for zapping the spammer dollyanne.

    The trip was "sort of" restful, but it took two days away from my assignment, so I'm seriously stressed now! I will be doing that allllll day today!
     
  6. xcitex2
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    xcitex2 Back from the past!

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    Vacation = Stress???

    Isn't that the truth? Never fails when I come back from a nice vacation the work load is doubled and I wonder WTF? Was it even worth it. Good to see you back on here!
     
  7. tomf_22033
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    tomf_22033 Long term member

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    Mistress Watchful,

    Don't feel bad, I'm burning the candle in about 12 places (both ends is too little) getting my stuff done. To make it worse, folks are suppose to give me stuff I need to rewrite a section of a major paper, and I can't proceed until I get it. GRRRRR

    Anyway, hang in there and before you know it you'll be done.

    As for me, if I survive the next few weeks, I'll be ok. But right now, I'm so tired, that it's getting hard to get stuff done!
     
  8. Mistress Watchful
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    Mistress Watchful Dont believe the hype ;oP

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    Well I have just got to that point (at 9.47 pm) where I'm considering doing an all nighter... but I actually think it's probably more productive to go to sleep now and try to get up at 4 or 5 am to finish off.

    Tomorrow will be a very busy day!
     
  9. PuppyMastersPet
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    PuppyMastersPet Long term member

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    Don't do it. It never works that way lol (remembers last minute college assignments). I used to stay up till 6am trying to finish them. I tried a couple of times to go to bed and then get up and do them in the morning but it never worked for me.
     
  10. Respectful
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    Respectful Chaste by choice

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    Easter Egg ramblings on MW's thread (sorry!)

    I lost my mind for a few weeks in my final year due to a deadline crunch (which became a metabolic meltdown) fueled by coffee, wake ups, and massive amounts of chocolate.

    Due to no food and no sleep brought on by essay/exam pressure (plus my propensity to procrastination) I suffered a full metabolic meltdown both mentally and physically. I should have eaten my suppers and my multivitamins!

    At least I passed everything and got my degree, but there were weeks of insanity and fried brain cells leading up to it!

    I feel for you Mistress Watchful! Good luck! :cat:
     
  11. Mistress Watchful
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    Mistress Watchful Dont believe the hype ;oP

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    So I'm up at 3am and surprisingly awake!

    I think sleeping first and working later paid off.

    I need to leave the house at 11am, so fingers crossed I will be done well before then! :anim_53:
     
  12. dollyanne
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    dollyanne Sissy who loves pink frilly things!

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    Good luck, Mistress Watchful! Go get 'em! Have a GREAT and successful day!!

    Curtsey,
    :butterfly:
    dollyanne
     
  13. Mistress Watchful
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    Mistress Watchful Dont believe the hype ;oP

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    Eugh - I'm feeling horribly sick today. I've had a headache on and off for 2 days and this morning I woke up around 2am with a thumping headache, and again at 6am it was just as bad. I got up and took some of my power USA painkillers I picked up last time I was there! It's 8am and it still hasn't shifted though. :spider:

    I handed the assignment in on my birthday (yay!) and then pet and I went for lunch. I had a large gin and tonic so had a lonnnnngggg nap when I got home.

    Yesterday I put an offer in on the house we want. It's way under the asking price, but let's see what happens! We had another 2nd viewing and they were asking all the right questions, I expect an offer from them on Monday, so that will be 2 offers on the table... hopefully we can get moving (literally!)

    pet was a bit upset yesterday morning because there is very little happening in the bedroom department. Hopefully he realises that it's just a product of stress... I have so much going on in my head at the moment, sex is the last thing on my mind!

    I did joke with him on my birthday that I should lock him up for my present, and then maybe unlock him next year for my present! He didn't find that amusing.

    I don't think I could bring myself to lock him up at the moment. It's obvious I don't have time to play, and am not being very sexual, so I feel it's only fair to leave him free to take care of things himself! I'm too nice, aren't I!?

    Well I should stop now and go and work on my assignment which is due in on Wednesday, but this headache is making me feel really sick. Bleagh.
     
  14. Missy Tanya
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    Missy Tanya Senior Member

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    Too Funny!!!

    Why on earth would he not find that Funny, I thought it was hilarious. But then again, it would be locked on him on me. At least, with all you two have going on lately, you still have your humor.

    Missy Tanya :happy0007:
    PS, I was just wondering if pet got to give MW her Birthday Spankens, or are you saving them up for him also....
     
  15. Mistress Watchful
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    Mistress Watchful Dont believe the hype ;oP

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    No Missy Tanya... nothing exciting is happening around here at all!

    Actually I'm finding it difficult to read other people's journals lately, I'm getting a horrible feeling of jealousy and resentment and just generally "it's not fair" feeling.

    I guess I'm only feeling this way because I have no-one to blame but myself. I push myself into this cycle of denial whereby it's easier to ignore any sexual advances from pet or any sexual feelings I'm having and do nothing.

    I would think on it further, but I have yet another huge essay to complete by Wednesday....
     
  16. Mistress Watchful
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    Mistress Watchful Dont believe the hype ;oP

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    I'm so jealous of my kitten right now! :cat: She's snuggled on the end of my bed fast asleep... I wish I could do that, I have a headache and could do with a power nap!

    We've just come back from a celebratory/birthday lunch. We sold our house yesterday, sold sign went up this morning, and the people selling the house we want to buy accepted a nice low offer!

    I can't believe it... I'm getting a house with a swimming pool and a huge greenhouse with vegetable beds in it... and pet says he wants bedroom 6 to become a dungeon!

    It's so exciting!

    But for now I have to settle down and finish yet another essay on sustainable communities. :spider:
     
  17. Rachel
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    Rachel Owned by Mistress Michelle

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    Rachel wants to move to South East UK. Congratulations to both You and pet.

    Rachel
     
  18. Mistress Watchful
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    Mistress Watchful Dont believe the hype ;oP

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    Still nothing much going on here!

    It's all a bit odd really... but that's probably normal for us LOL!

    I think I'm going to start packing a few boxes and tidy up the garden today if the weather is good.

    I have one more big essay to finish before the end of April, but I don't think I'll do anything till Monday!

    Hope everyone has a great day.
     
  19. dollyanne
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    dollyanne Sissy who loves pink frilly things!

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    Congratulations on selling the house and getting the new one, Mistress Watchful! It sounds like You made a good deal!

    congratchamp.jpg

    Already planning a dungeon! It looks like You and charlotte are in for interesting times ahead!

    Curtsey,
    :manga_bath:
    dollyanne
     
  20. Mistress Watchful
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    Mistress Watchful Dont believe the hype ;oP

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    Well I was planning a dungeon, but to be honest, I think it would get more use as a craft room. :mad0039:

    I'm feeling a bit iffy about the house now. I can't remember it at all... I think it's a lot smaller than I remember, and I keep walking round my lovely open plan house... I'm going to miss it so much.

    Still not much going on round here. I briefly spoke to pet about charlotte over dinner the other night, and we've been cuddling up more lately, but I just feel like there is this huge piece of my life missing.

    Too much stress going on. :anim_20:
     
  21. Mistress Watchful
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    Mistress Watchful Dont believe the hype ;oP

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    I have decided to elaborate on whats going on in my head lately... be warned, this may take some time!

    Im having a lot of conflicting feelings over chastity and femming lately... actually I think Im having problems with anything sexual at all.

    My gut feeling is that somewhere under all this is an intense feeling of guilt, but Im not sure what for.

    Lately Im fantasising more often about having a sissy maid, leading a Mistress life, maybe having an Alpha Male friend. Also I think about all the toys we have, and all the wonderful outfits I have to dress up in, and I imagine myself taking a bath and pampering and dressing up... wandering into the bedroom and punishing and humiliating charlotte or pet, depending on how Im feeling.

    I think about creating a dungeon in the new house... we have the room, and its a perfect room, and thats when I start to feel negative emotions. Apathy? Just generally fed up. Why do I bother? Whats the point? All those types of feelings.

    I cant decide whether or not its all to do with the fact that pet asked me to do this, and I still feel like I tried and failed. I still have flashbacks to the porn I found on his computer that time, and the fact that I never really measured up.. and I appear to be too lazy to do anything about it, which makes me angry and I just internalise all those negative emotions and want to crawl away and hide in a hole somewhere.

    I read wonderful things like maid madelines blog (oh how I wish I had a maid just like her) and dollyannes blog (such a cute little plaything... I want one of those too!) and I look at all the wonderful maids outfits and sissy dresses and think about how I would love to be in control and make it all real.

    Not sure where Im going with all this, just felt the need to get it out of my system.

    I dont want to be a vanilla girlfriend, but I think I missed my opportunity. I am terrified that if I locked pet up again and tried to be a Mistress then it would all deteriorate into a great big mess again.

    I wonder if I shouldnt just give up on all these fantasies and realise that it just isnt in me, Im not made from the same mould as Ms Michelle, and Ms Helen... pet wanted me to be, and I told him I couldnt do it, but he put some faith in me and I failed him.

    In a perfect world I would lock him up right now, begin sissy and domestic maid training, and get back to being in control... but I completely lack the confidence. How the hell do I get back to that stage where I felt like I was walking on air?
     
  22. Mistress Watchful
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    Mistress Watchful Dont believe the hype ;oP

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    I have decided to elaborate on what’s going on in my head lately... be warned, this may take some time!

    I’m having a lot of conflicting feelings over chastity and femming lately... actually I think I’m having problems with anything sexual at all.

    My gut feeling is that somewhere under all this is an intense feeling of guilt, but I’m not sure what for.

    Lately I’m fantasising more often about having a sissy maid, leading a Mistress’ life, maybe having an Alpha Male friend. Also I think about all the toys we have, and all the wonderful outfits I have to dress up in, and I imagine myself taking a bath and pampering and dressing up... wandering into the bedroom and punishing and humiliating charlotte or pet, depending on how I’m feeling.

    I think about creating a dungeon in the new house... we have the room, and it’s a perfect room, and that’s when I start to feel negative emotions. Apathy? Just generally fed up. Why do I bother? What’s the point? All those types of feelings.

    I can’t decide whether or not it’s all to do with the fact that pet asked me to do this, and I still feel like I tried and failed. I still have flashbacks to the porn I found on his computer that time, and the fact that I never really measured up.. and I appear to be too lazy to do anything about it, which makes me angry and I just internalise all those negative emotions and want to crawl away and hide in a hole somewhere.

    I read wonderful things like maid madeline’s blog (oh how I wish I had a maid just like her) and dollyanne’s blog (such a cute little plaything... I want one of those too!) and I look at all the wonderful maid’s outfits and sissy dresses and think about how I would love to be in control and make it all real.

    Not sure where I’m going with all this, just felt the need to get it out of my system.

    I don’t want to be a vanilla girlfriend, but I think I missed my opportunity. I am terrified that if I locked pet up again and tried to be a Mistress then it would all deteriorate into a great big mess again.

    I wonder if I shouldn’t just give up on all these fantasies and realise that it just isn’t in me, I’m not made from the same mould as Ms Michelle, and Ms Helen... pet wanted me to be, and I told him I couldn’t do it, but he put some faith in me and I failed him.

    In a perfect world I would lock him up right now, begin sissy and domestic maid training, and get back to being in control... but I completely lack the confidence. How the hell do I get back to that stage where I felt like I was walking on air?
     
  23. Kimberleigh
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    Kimberleigh Member

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    Well my tuppence worth of advice is as follows...
    Firstly Mistress there are so many things in your life at the moment is it any wonder you have doubts? Before making such a major decision I think you need to wait until you have a few less things to worry about.
    Secondly, as I understand it, you are not a practised Mistress - so you can't rely on your experience to carry you through when times are tough. Like you can in caring for your family. That is natural practised behaviour - just how you can drive a car and carry on a conversation.. remember when you first learnt to drive or ride a bike and wondered how you might cope? I think this is what you lack right now.
    Lastly, if the future comes one day at a time how does that philosophy live as a bed fellow with closing doors before they've been opened? Regret what you have done, not what you have not done.
    Hang in their Mistress, live a little, don't stress on this now - once you've moved and settled then is the time to review. You know that W/we all have faith in you and can't imagine our world without Mistress Watchful.
    For now, what an opportunity to dominate pet in getting all the work done around your home to prepare for the move and then settle into your new one. :anim_25:
    kim
     
  24. mikecb
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    mikecb Long term member

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    MW,

    t-girl kim is right. Who can think about all this while you're wrapping up a very heavily loaded class at uni, moving, oh, and you know, taking care of four children?!? Sheesh, give yourself some slack!

    I can think of two paths, which may even be possible to take at the same time. First, I really think you and pet need to talk. Your lives are SO stressful that it's impossible to imagine that you could both move forward without having bad days. The question is, how do you deal with the bad days? I think you need to enlist his help, and vice versa. For example, your big paper is coming up, you haven't been in the mood for sex in a week, and you have pet locked up. Now you're feeling guilty that you haven't let him out for a week. How can HE help YOU work through that?

    The reverse is also true. For whatever reason, maybe you sense pet getting cranky and fed up, as you've topped him for a few weeks. Perhaps he's suffering the "be careful what you wish for" feelings especially hard today. How can YOU help HIM accept the role he has begged for, when his commitment is wavering?

    I think the answer to those questions comes down to how you two work together as partners. You guys have pretty compatible fantasies, but I don't think you're working as a team. You'll never be a heartless, unscrupulous Domme. You're going to rely on signals from pet that you guys are on the right track. You guys need to work out your signals, and go at this together! Perhaps you can pre-plan how to work through rough patches. Hell, NASA has emergency plans for everything. Why can't you?!?

    "Track 2" of my advice is "baby steps and planning". We all fantasize about our lofty goals, but realistically, you're not going to move into the new house, build a dungeon, lock pet up 24/7, and have charlotte doing all your chores a week after you move. Again, with both of you discussing this, can you set some reasonable expectations? Could you agree to keep pet locked 24/7, with either sex, or a release for masturbation twice / week? No pressure on you there, except to hand him a key twice / week, if life is stressful. Perhaps when Uni is over, it changes to 24/7, and release for masturbation "on request". Make him ASK. Again, no pressure on you. If he doesn't ask, it's HIS tough luck. From there, you could build up to maybe saying "no" sometimes.

    I don't know if you're a big planner, but here's the planning part. What if you sat down with pet, and said "OK, big picture. If we're doing this, what do we want to be doing in 1 year... 2 years.... 5 years.. ?" Map it out in logical small steps. Maybe 1 year is "Let's just get moved, and play with the plastic device". Two years is "Save up and get a steel belt". Three years is "24/7 wear". I don't know. Make slow, deliberate and realistic plans. Life is long, and you're both still young. There are kinky folks on this board twice your ages! This isn't a race.

    Of course, both of these require the number one prerequisite - you need to communicate!

    You can do it! Hugs! :love0038:
    mikecb
     
  25. Mistress Watchful
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    Mistress Watchful Dont believe the hype ;oP

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    .... and yay.... I come on the site and there is the Administrator... looking at a photo entitled "boot fetish"...

    Can't be bothered to come and fix the things I ask him to, can't be arsed to come and post, but can find time to come and look at photographs of his favourite fantasies...:mad0054:
     
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