Part 2 ~ The Reluctant Dominatrix

Really goes to show that a Ds lifestyle really is a tough lifestyle to keep up. I’m really think you need a good week of living a vanilla lifestyle, maybe if you talk to each other over the next few days you can gain his trust again. From what I’ve read of your journal I get the idea that you do enjoy your Ds lifestyle and wouldn’t want to give it up.
I can’t defend your pet at all but surely he deserves another chance. Maybe some begging will change your mind. Master has had me crying on occasion with some tactful conditioning and reveres psychology. He usually makes me beg till he can see it in my eyes that it is what I really want. I week might also give pet a chance to see what he would be missing. I would ask him to stay in chastity though to build up all those hormones and his hornyness.
Master almost lost faith this week after I came but I convinced him this is what I really want and master seems more in control than ever and I seem to compliant and egger to please.
I really hope you don’t give up. You’ve been missed over the past weekend. I hope you managed to relax and enjoy yourself a bit at least.

 

Sorry to hear about the setback :-(.

From the outside lookin' in, it sounds like there are a few trust issues to resolve with each other. He lied about wanking off, but then later was honest with you about it. At least that's a step in the right direction. Unforunately, that honesty has led you to doubt him... and now even to doubt his motives for telling you. Did he tell you because he was being honest, or did he tell you because he was trying to manipulate you?

He can't take back the lie, or the truth he shared later. However, you can still try to understand why he shared that truth, in the end. Perhaps and understanding of that can help lead to trust.

From my own experience, I'll say my Wife over analyzes things. If I say "x", she wonders "Why did he say X? Does he really mean Y? He's mad at me?!?" when in fact, I simply said "x" with no more thought than that.

I could easily envision confessing something like your pet did to my wife out of disappointment in myself, out of a "marital" need for honesty, or even of a "submissive" need for honesty. I don't play head games (intentionally, anyway). In this case, there would be little for your pet to gain, and lots to lose.

If I were a betting man, I'd bet he told you out of a need to tell you, and nothing more. He just said "x". Anything else you read into that, is probably something coming from you, and not him.

Here's hoping a perspective from another submissive male can give you some insights.

Best of luck!
mikecb

 

Glad you're feeling better and more centered!

Now, you can devote that devious mind to planning your pet's punishment for walkin' the dog without permission! ;-)

 

I tend to agree with mike's comments. When we first started chastity play (and full time/real life D/s) i cheated on more than one occasion. Some i kept hidden (please don't tell ) and others (most) i admitted to. At first i think i admitted my shortcomings in an attempt to manipulate my Wife into becoming more dominant, but later it was simply that i felt horrible about what i had done and needed to confess to Her. The reality was that the last few times i did cheat it really did feel like cheating to me. (i blogged about it, wherever that entry might be.) Now i am trying to walk the straight and narrow (gets tougher every day i don't have an orgasm), but so far so good. :bigsmile:

One of the things that helped me to stop was the Goddess simply said if i cheat, She stops laying with me and finds a lover to go fuck without me :sad:

i tested Her and She was true to Her word. She did not make a big issue out of it, She simply told me every time i asked to do a scene that i had cheated and She would not play with me until i could be trusted. After a week She told me She had fucked someone else without me. i was both REALLY turned on and devastated at the same time. That night we had a great scene and i was allowed to fuck Her and have several real orgasms.

That night really helped to establish our roles and set the tone for our new relationship. i realized that i could not manipulate Her, that She was truly the dominant and i the submissive cuckold. Life has been getting better ever sense! :bigsmile:

Bottom line... let him know you are disappointed with his behavior, set the consequences for him doing it again and move on. If he cheats, you MUST follow through with the punishment (and make sure he absolutely HATES it).

 

sounds a lot like topping from the bottom to me.... to be blunt.

But hey, I call ashovel, a shovel.

 

Referring to my post? If so i completely agree, that is exactly what i was doing. Won't make excuses or offer further explanations, suffice it to say the issue has been resolved and our D/s relationship continues to grow (with much, much less "topping from the bottom" )

Everyone needs to find and define the dynamics of a relationship (kinky or vanilla) that works for them. Sounds like Mistress Watchful and pet are still trying to find their roles and get the dynamics to work. It is difficult and frustrating.

The truth is every good relationship requires a lot of work to maintain. It requires nurturing, EFFECTIVE communication and compromise (even from the Dom IMO... it's just the level and style of compromise that changes).

Well i better get off my soap box before i really muddle things up... :squigglemouth:

And to Mistress Watchful's last post... cheer up! Don't let the little things of life get you down... Every day is a new beginning and a chance to turn life around!

(and just tell charlotte that when he gets his act together and is ready to look after YOU then you will play with him again. Remind him that he is the submissive and that he needs to live up to his role and responsibilities!)

 

I have to agree also and put my two cents in :tongue:. For a long time I blamed Master for not being dominant enough and though he needed to control me. It’s only recently as I’m sure you’ve read that I’ve realised it is me that needs to submit. You can’t be forced to submit. I’m sure pet wants to submit maybe he just hasn’t learned how to yet.
You’ll both get there in the end, you should never give up. Our relationship has come on leaps and bounds since I started taking a back seat. The word epiphany comes to mind, I thinks that’s what happened I just came to a sudden realisation one day, after many ups and downs it has to be said.

I guess we’re lucky. You have all the added pressures of family life which I couldn’t imagine what that would be like but that said you need to keep your chin up and stick at what you do best, dominating that pet of yours

 

Thanks Mistress Watchful!

Oh mistress I do hope I am not to blame for sending you the link to where my Goddess purchased the shoes from. Autumn does have a ton of great things!

As a person who has a few pounds myself to deal with and a Goddess who is built much like yourself I would give this comment little of your time. Especially coming from someone who is probably pissed at the level of happiness you have achieved without him.

Now since I am long overdue on this thank you for such a wonderful forum. It is great meeting (cyber or otherwise) people like yourself who have the same challenges to deal with, kids, career, stubborn pets LOL (sorry pet I am one at times to). Keep one thing in mind and that is life is a journey and a journey suggests that a considerable amount of time and distance will be covered. With this in mind I remember a quote from a movie that goes something like- In life it matters very little where the train is going instead it matters whether or not you chose to get on that train.

Keep up the great site and during those times when you are frustrated remember you are inspiring many others here to continue our journeys!

 

It's a bit disappointing to not hear from pet about his transgressions on the night of the "X-box" play. So i'll take some liberties with this post and throw in what i would have been thinking/feeling at that time. i might get some details wrong concerning the time line though..

Anyways i suspect as soon as pet had satisfied himself that night, he got hit with a massive dose of the post orgasm now-why-did-i-do-something-so-stupid? syndrome. It's a horrible mixture of feelings. Guilt, regret, self-doubt... Cripes name an emotion that can describe how it feels to be EXTREMELY disappointed in yourself, he was probably going through it.
Yet on the flip side Mistress Watchful was on an emotional high. The device had arrived quickly and following the letdown of the Lori device things were definitely looking all up.
So now we have pet, having just committed a gross act of selfish self indulgence and going thru the emotions affiliated with it, but the Woman he loves and worships is on an emotional high he wasn't planning on seeing due to the Lori device issue. he is now faced with either admitting his crime and spoiling this magical moment or concealing his act and telling himself it's the right thing to do because he will admit to it later.
Times like these, emotions like these, decisions like these are true tests of a person's will to participate in the relationships we discuss here. Anyone can withstand a whip, a crop, a spanking etc, but it takes strength and willpower to confront and handle (or mis-handle) these situations and the emotional strings attached.
i can't offer any advice to pet or Mistress Watchful in how to handle this. i honestly wish i could. i can only offer my insight into what pet's state of mind may have been through this period and the types of feelings and thoughts that might go thru the submissive mind.
Best i can do is offer a lyric from a Bruce Cockburn song that runs thru my head when we hit hard times..

"Nothing worth having comes without some kind of fight
Gotta kick at the darkness til it bleeds daylight."

 

Good luck with the interview, I'm sure you don't need it tho

 

Well done & congratulations!!

So is it Master Mistress Watchful or Mistress Master Watchful?

Wont pet be confused that his Mistress will be a Master?

Obvious jokes aside, I am delighted for you & I know it is a significant acheivement, you should justifiably feel very proud of yourself today!

xxx

 

Well Done!! Thats really good news! I may argue though students do have style, or maybe it was just me when I was at uni haha! :tongue:

 

Congratulations!

Congratulations, Mistress Watchful! You were Yourself, and You were impressive being Yourself with style! You must be a terrific interviewee in person and that is certainly a good skill to have!

Congratulations, again! Dollyanne knows how much work this is, and You will need all the help You can get from charlotte to keep things in order on the home front! It sounds like charlotte is motivated and ready to do this! Best of luck, Mistress Watchful! And dollyanne knows it will be worth all the effort in the end!

Curtsey,
dollyanne

 

Bit of a late post, but Goddess and i were busy playing then i had to dash off to work.

So to mirror everyone else... congrats on the entry into your masters program! You have a long road ahead of you i am sure, but the rewards awaiting you at the end of that road will make the journey worth while i am sure. Just don't forget to stop along the way to enjoy the flowers and taste the delicacies that life thrusts at you!

I am so glad to hear that you and pet are continuing to work on your relationship. I think the keywords are a great idea and might mention them to Goddess as well. Right now we are having a lot of fun, but then school is out. Once it starts back up Her busy schedule will start up as well and i am afraid of being lost in the shuffle of papers :squigglemouth: Ah well, that is something to be dealt with IF it happens. Until then lets all run naked in the fields and frolic beneath the warm summer sun! :tongue:

 

Not all students have a lack of style.

Very tight jeans and high heeled boots, a lacy tight top and hoop ear rings you could use as basketball hoops - well it was in the 80s...

Of course, a few of the women also looked nice.