What have I gotten myself into??? I started using a chastity cage unbeknownst to my wife a year ago to motivate me to lose weight and maintain it. The longest I would wear the cage was a week or two at the very most. Usually it was for a few days and frequetly I would have to remove it due to irritations from the cheap, ill-fitting cages I was using. When I learned last fall to tease & stimulate myself in new ways, my libido began to amp up significantly. I finally turned to a cage to keep me from masturbating while on an extended ski trip. I went for 3 1/2 weeks in a new cage with one ruined orgasm in my cage. I then went 2 1/2 weeks caged & orgasm free before apporaching my wife with the keys and asking her to be my keyholder. She agreed. I had read articles that suggested I should be denied orgasms for at least 3-4 weeks at a time in order to optimize the benefits for my wife. This was really scary information to share with my wife. The thought of only having an orgasm once a month was a difficult pill to swallow for both me AND my wife. She made me wait a full 4 weeks before releasing me and giving me the most amazing orgasm of my life. She thought I might be dying with all of the moaning, groaning and spasms I was having. She only made me wait 2 1/2 weeks before each of my next 2 mind-blowing orgasms. But we noticed problems after that; my behavior bagan to change; I was becoming grouchy and irritable and I was horny as hell. And I cheated and gave myself a ruined orgasm with a vibrator one afternoon when she was gone. I confessed my indiscretion and apologized for my behavior. I came across a website that recommended a 3-6 month orgasm free lockup to re-wire the man's brain and break the habit of masturbation before returning to an almost monthly release schedule. My wife and I both want the benefits, want her to have control over my orgasms, and want me to be masturbation free. But the thought of 3 months without an orgasm (the website suggests 6 months or more for a man of my age) is difficult to fathom because I want an orgasm almost every minute of every day. We decided to take this one month at a time and see how it goes. It has now been 3 weeks since my ruined orgasm and the days seem to be going by sooooooo slowly. As I grew older, the years seemed to fly by faster and faster, but this has changed all that; it's as if the hare has become the tortoise and we're watching sporting events in slow motion replay. We agreed to a monthly chastity status discussion on the first of every month. August 1st, I will be 3 months, 1 week orgasm free if I can make it. But that seems like an eternity. I never dreamt chastity would lead to this when I first started out. It's a good thing because it would have scared me away. You need to experience the benefits to fully embrace it and have the will and motivation to take it this seriously.
Very nice and thank you for sharing. Iam self locked and have been since the end of September with only 2 ruined orgasms during my 229 days. I also dabbled in chastity with cages that didn't work for me until I got my current nub. I first went into chastity to do my first locktober, which I did with success, so much so I didn't want to remove the chastity once November came around. It was a mind over matter situation and now the chastity has become part of me. Focus on other ways to feel pleasure, with nipple play, using a vibrator on your cage to stimulate not to the point of a ruined orgasm, and also some anal stimulation. It is amazing what other areas feel more heightened when your locked away...
Yes its an amazing journey, my keyholder said the other day did u realize at the time your orgasm on the 5th of Jan was going to be your last ? I said what? No. She laughed and said neither didn't I. @Lady V always knows best
I have experienced the same. At first I hated it because it felt like each day was twice as long as it used to be and I was going out of my mind with horny feelings, but now I love it and see it as a benefit. It is possible to get more done, once we overcome the insanity of months without orgasm.
OMG!! 229 days and only 2 ruined orgasms?!?!?!? I can't imagine! I think if I had to self-lock I would have to play a game that had very long odds for release and a full orgasm in order to keep me going! But I really need an object for my hormones and affections. Do you use those positive hormones to be kinder to others and serve them sacrificially?
Yup... looks like 3 months is the pill I need to swallow. I spent the week scanning to internet and the consensus seems to be that this is the starting point to un-wire, re-wire & hardwire new behavior patterns. And looking back at my OP, it's hard to believe I'm only 5 days further along on my sentence!
So while you have been locked up and denied orgasm what if any betters is your wife getting out of this? You sound like you are complaining about long lockups and lack of orgasm but didn't really mention anything positive you are experiencing. Is she enjoying the extra attention, does she like the control you gave her, out are there anything else sure is having you do?
Once embarked on d chastity journey.. theres no stoping.. while u r locked up.. how do u please yr wife sexualy..?
Great questions by you and also from Andy88. I'm a newby to chastity and have seen the benefit of journaling. I've been trying to get caught up on documenting my journey and have been posting it on another forum / site. Once I get caught up, I plan to clean it up and post it on CM. This post was a quick one as I realized how deep down the rabbit hole I have gone in such a short time. I've gone from using it for temporary control to suddenly needing it maybe permanently and feeling like I need at least a 90 orgasm denial. Short story: My wife was initially surprised but when I admitted my challenges and desire for her to own my body and my orgasms, she accepted it. But she said, "We need to get you out of this thing." She is now experiencing the benefits of a radically changed man and we are more in love than we've ever been in our life. She's never enjoyed this much physical pleasure in her life and never dreamed she was capable of having as many orgasms in a week at this stage in life. We went from a desert to a tropical paradise instantly. She loves being in control of when we take the cage off and has embraced it. Our communication has improved dramatically and she said I am the "best friend" she always wanted in her marriage. Her hangups and insecurities have virtually disappeared because of all the attention, affirmation, and physical intimacy she is getting. We snuggle before and after sleeping every night/morning and whenever we can on the sofa. She teases me almost every day without fail in order to keep my testosterone levels up (I have low T and had a low libido for a long time)... what blows my mind is that this gets her really aroused feeling my body spasm, my breathing increase, and hearing my moans & groans. She doesn't want an O every day but is always wet after teasing me... we're still trying to understand the right rythym for her because I'm always eager to please her. We both never want to go back to life as it was before the cage and realize this is a long term thing that is going to take time to figure out where the right balance is. But we are loving the journey!
My times for being locked have increased over the 4 years now. We started of with just 3 days and at the time it seemed like a year. Then a week . Then 2 weeks and so on. I am today , on day 31 and was told not to expect to be released for some time yet. I think she is going for 60 days . Who knows ? Only the Goddess knows . Lol . I have now been locked up 24 / 7 for 4 years now and love everything about being her maid and submissive.
Beautifully said! So many things you said resonate so well with me, that I could have written with honesty much the same myself.
It sounds as if you don't have a partner but I'm absolutely amazed at how long you've gone with so few orgasms. What has been your motivation? I have found that the longer I've gone without an orgasm, the more sensitive my body becomes to stimulation in other areas. It sounds like that has been your experience too.
31 days! Wow! How difficult had it been? What benefits have you experienced? I'm still trying to wrap my head around 90 days! I had a nocturnal erection last night and really wanted to touch it and orgasm. I was so grateful and at the same time frustrated at having the cage to keep me from pleasing myself.
Ike I said my Goddess worked me up to the longer lockup. So I am now used to the longer lockup . Locktober isn't special anymore . As far as benefits ? She has found that the longer my lockups , the more I become and want to be feminised and also focus more on her wants and needs. She likes having a submissive feminised maid and being married to her. Can't wait to go shopping with her again .
My wife and I had a monthly chastity check-in yesterday. We've settled on a 90 day chastity and orgasm denial period to rewire my brain and unwire the old behavior patterns. We both agree that the journey we've been on the last 3 months has been the most amazing of our married lives. We don't want that to stop. She did admit to me that she will jump for joy when we can remove the cage, possibly for good. She said she doesn't like it because it gets in the way. I take this to mean she wants free access to my "little guy" at all times especially since we spend so much time snuggling, cuddling, spooning and making love. We talked about how long it would be before we could consider going cage free. I told her that one ministry that works with men trying to get free from a porn and masturbation addiction suggest keeping defensive measures in place for at least 6 months. She said she thought a year would be appropriate. And she said we can always go back to it if we find we need to. It's hard for me to grasp that my conservative Christian wife has forgiven me for my marital failures so easily and has embraced this journey with chastity so quickly. Words cannot express how satisfying it is to see her so happy. The feelings of connectedness are beneficial to both of us and the lack of pressure on her to please me in bed has freed her to experience the pleasures of physical intimacy as God intended for her. Yesterday, we went to the beach to sun for a few hours, something she enjoys greatly. Then we had dinner on the porch with a bottle of wine discussing our journey and the status of chastity. When I came to bed, she was waiting and we had the most incredible sex. She slept great! My hormones woke me early. When she woke up, I spooned her, held her and then stroked her for about 20 minutes. The feelings were electric! While I had the physical desire for an orgasm, the realization that this feeling wouldn't likely be there if I had the big O last night made me happy we're using restraint. And once awake, she is almost giddy! It can't get much better, can it?