Our new way of LIVING...

Thank you both for sharing your journey with the rest of us. I, for one appreciate the fact that the journey is not easy, nor is it always happy. It's good to know as my wife and I start out on our journey.

 

My husband was the one to first introduce chastity into our lives. About 2 years ago. We played with it for awhile and it then fell to the side, as we played with it, didn't look at it as a lifestyle. I brought it up a few months ago and he was down for it, but wasn't going to be interested if I wasn't going to own it. Part of me needed to realize I did have ultimate control and I always have. We've been together for 20 years. I have always been the more dominate one, but didn't truly own it the way I do now. I did have to get beyond some insecurities and since then we have moved quickly in our FLR/chastity marriage.
I control his orgasm's (he's had 1 in the past 3 months) I do let him out more then what most choose to do, but thank goodness there are no real rules to the game... I wrote up a document to outline our owner/servant relationship. We signed it 1.5 weeks ago.
So, we are new to chastity. The beginning was the hardest, and that was because of me. As women, we tend to build things in our heads that are simply made up. Once I realized that and got past my issues and fully owned it, all of it, we have had great success. Of course day to day life gets in the way of things I may want to do or plan, but when won't it... We responsibilities that will need our attention. As long as we are having fun, that is all that matters. We have always been able to communicate well with each other, but even more so now and more in depth. One of many requirements in our agreement is that we must email each other weekly, express our thoughts/love/and if any, concerns.
You aren't alone and don't rush things. Let it happen naturally.

 

This sounds very much like my first experiences. it took me a while to realize the potential of it. And there certainly are hurdles to start with that would put many off. Communication is indeed key and not rushing things is supremely sound advice. If you rush on them you will miss most of the journey.
it's best to savour every step of the way.

 

It's lovely to read of you getting your relationship on track in a way that tbh it sounds like you two are naturals for.

For years you've had fears and trust issues - and your mind races and your mind races and works overtime.
What better way to keep that in check by spending that mental energy on planning ways to keep your man on his toes?

It sounds like you've been doing that already to some extent, which is great!
It's well worth taking things in little steps at first though, set small targets and tasks for him to achieve, housework, dealing with the kids, domestic stuff, or sexual things but tell him about them and remind him of them regularly. For now. After a while you can start to expect them done without reminders - but we are creatures of habit and our habits change slowly.

It sounds like you're medically trained so you'll know what timescales there are for much in the way of change in our bodies, well it's about the same length of time for change in our ways of being and it will take time for him to learn new habits. You want him to develop a 'new normal' and it doesnt happen overnight - or even in 4 weeks.

We all do chastity in different ways - and we each learn what works for us, and what we need. You have a need to know that he is under your control (that's what it is right?) and he has a need for your control. Sounds great! How you make that happen will be a great adventure - so forgive yourselves for the bits that falter, try and make it about what YOU want rather than him, punish him if you feel he needs it, communicate a lot, and enjoy the ride!

Here's a thread from one of our members you both might find interesting, not as a model for you to take and use, but just to show the sort of love and dedication that can come from the use of chastity devices in a relationship, and anything that follows. The member starts their story having been wearing devices for 7years, and he's recounting what becomes a major change and deepening of their bond. https://www.chastitymansion.com/forums/index.php?threads/on-display.21726/

Now the actions contained might not be for you, but what I find wonderful in it is that each action is one borne of a very real and obvious bond and love for one another. It's one of the most touching things I've ever read on CM. If you can make your journey all about expressing and reinforcing and exploring that bond and commitment then you'll be on the right track.

 

Nutty, I understand exactly how you were feeling.
All we are and have is our memories and of course the moment we are living in.
Its beautiful moments that live for these days and I wish you many more xx

 

Very Very well spoken

 

@ABITNUTTY You are special, unique, and in charge. Keep exploring the delights along your path to a FLR with J - many more physical and mental delights are yet to be discovered. Humm, 5 days brought you such a special time and feelings - is it now time to double his lock time ( once skin heals, of course )?

 

so sweet and sexy. Im glad your man makes you feel that way. Just beautiful.

 

We seem to be getting pretty comfortable with the new lifestyle. Everyone’s situation is different so it’s important to stay focused and not make assumptions based on other people’s experiences. I think one of our hurdles is figuring out where the lines are in our new lifestyle. We need to continue to develop our KH/Sub relationship but not be totally consumed by it.

For me, the situation is such a mystery. Where does the need to be a sub come from? How far do you go with it? I don’t desire less sex, just for her to completely control it. I do know that so far we have grown closer and more intimate- it’s been a great experience.

I’m sleeping much better since buying the new pillows for side sleeping . My KH doesn’t like the “barracade” of pillows but she didn’t want to unlock me either. It’s her call to make.
Fortunately, peeing while standing has become routine again thank goodness.
Looking forward to moving forward.

 

I’m working on really focusing on her needs and trying to ensure that she gets 100% of the pleasure that she desires. The cage is a constant reminder to put her first and to get her launch sequence right The sequence starts early in the evening and continues for hours and has many pieces that must be right
We had an awesome night a few days ago. After being locked for several days, she removed the cage and I was instantly ready to go. After she gave the OK, I thought I’d have a heart attack. It blew my mind how intense it was. Right now life is good because she comes first. Going to keep it that way.

 

i like Rugrats

 

That's the perfect attitude, although I guess some manage, I don't believe a couple can be all D/s all the time. Life, problems, and just not feeling it happens. Rolling with it and knowing you will work it out is a cornerstone.

 

It’s definitely a process that we’ve worked through in the first 3 months. Both of us have to stay focused and take ownership in our very different roles. Like others have written, for me being ignored even if its a misunderstanding takes the wind out of my sail. If I’m not responding how she needs me to we end asking ourselves “what’s the point to this?”
Fortunately, we’ve worked through it and realize that just a little attention to the chasted male goes a long way. We’ve got tremendous amount of sexual tension going roght now and we have experienced a few “firsts” of our marriage: She O’d without a vibrater, I’ve been locked without any issues for 2 weeks, oral is becoming a regular thing, and we are communicating much better and in real time.
So if you’re reading this and you are just starting out, I say stay focused, commincate a lot, and work through it. For us, it’s paying off!

 

forgot another first- showering together. It’s awesome