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Our new way of LIVING...

Discussion in 'Chastity journals and blogs' started by ABITNUTTY, Oct 18, 2017.

  1. ABITNUTTY
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    ABITNUTTY Member

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    I thought that since it has been a few days since we have posted, that I would make an entry tonight.
    For those KeyHolders who the idea of chastity wasn’t originally brought up by you, what was your initial impression of the experience with your loved one?
    J is out of town for the first time in which he is caged. No issues with discomfort or skin breakdown so far, which means longer consecutive times in the cage ahead.
    I’m ready to do some pushing and testing:)
     
  2. Willing2
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    Willing2 Member

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    Thank you both for sharing your journey with the rest of us. I, for one appreciate the fact that the journey is not easy, nor is it always happy. It's good to know as my wife and I start out on our journey.
     
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  3. GoddessMhistina
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    My husband was the one to first introduce chastity into our lives. About 2 years ago. We played with it for awhile and it then fell to the side, as we played with it, didn't look at it as a lifestyle. I brought it up a few months ago and he was down for it, but wasn't going to be interested if I wasn't going to own it. Part of me needed to realize I did have ultimate control and I always have. We've been together for 20 years. I have always been the more dominate one, but didn't truly own it the way I do now. I did have to get beyond some insecurities and since then we have moved quickly in our FLR/chastity marriage.
    I control his orgasm's (he's had 1 in the past 3 months) :) I do let him out more then what most choose to do, but thank goodness there are no real rules to the game... I wrote up a document to outline our owner/servant relationship. We signed it 1.5 weeks ago.
    So, we are new to chastity. The beginning was the hardest, and that was because of me. As women, we tend to build things in our heads that are simply made up. Once I realized that and got past my issues and fully owned it, all of it, we have had great success. Of course day to day life gets in the way of things I may want to do or plan, but when won't it... We responsibilities that will need our attention. As long as we are having fun, that is all that matters. We have always been able to communicate well with each other, but even more so now and more in depth. One of many requirements in our agreement is that we must email each other weekly, express our thoughts/love/and if any, concerns.
    You aren't alone and don't rush things. Let it happen naturally. :)
     
  4. Mascara^Snake
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    Mascara^Snake Ms Amanda

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    #54 Mascara^Snake, Nov 8, 2017
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 9, 2017
    This sounds very much like my first experiences. it took me a while to realize the potential of it. And there certainly are hurdles to start with that would put many off. Communication is indeed key and not rushing things is supremely sound advice. If you rush on them you will miss most of the journey.
    it's best to savour every step of the way.
     
  5. SubVerity
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    SubVerity Still the mansion's fairy godmother. ;)

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    It's lovely to read of you getting your relationship on track in a way that tbh it sounds like you two are naturals for.

    For years you've had fears and trust issues - and your mind races and your mind races and works overtime.
    What better way to keep that in check by spending that mental energy on planning ways to keep your man on his toes?

    It sounds like you've been doing that already to some extent, which is great!
    It's well worth taking things in little steps at first though, set small targets and tasks for him to achieve, housework, dealing with the kids, domestic stuff, or sexual things but tell him about them and remind him of them regularly. For now. After a while you can start to expect them done without reminders - but we are creatures of habit and our habits change slowly.

    It sounds like you're medically trained so you'll know what timescales there are for much in the way of change in our bodies, well it's about the same length of time for change in our ways of being and it will take time for him to learn new habits. You want him to develop a 'new normal' and it doesnt happen overnight - or even in 4 weeks.

    We all do chastity in different ways - and we each learn what works for us, and what we need. You have a need to know that he is under your control (that's what it is right?) and he has a need for your control. Sounds great! :) How you make that happen will be a great adventure - so forgive yourselves for the bits that falter, try and make it about what YOU want rather than him, punish him if you feel he needs it, communicate a lot, and enjoy the ride!

    Here's a thread from one of our members you both might find interesting, not as a model for you to take and use, but just to show the sort of love and dedication that can come from the use of chastity devices in a relationship, and anything that follows. The member starts their story having been wearing devices for 7years, and he's recounting what becomes a major change and deepening of their bond. https://www.chastitymansion.com/forums/index.php?threads/on-display.21726/

    Now the actions contained might not be for you, but what I find wonderful in it is that each action is one borne of a very real and obvious bond and love for one another. It's one of the most touching things I've ever read on CM. If you can make your journey all about expressing and reinforcing and exploring that bond and commitment then you'll be on the right track.
     
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  6. ABITNUTTY
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    ABITNUTTY Member

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    Last night, I took off the JailBirb. J had been caged for five consecutive nights, his longest stent yet. Since we were about to be spending the entire weekend together, I thought this was a good time to give J’s skin around where the double ring fits a period of rest.
    I immediately got the shower going so that we could bathe together...with assistance from each other.. This was very nice in deed!! We have decided to make this a regular uncaging richual:)!! After drying off, J went through all my bras and found the one he liked most, and then found matching panties, and put them both onto my body in the most loving way. I pulled down from my closet my most recent sheer black gown and put that on. J asked me for my new stockings that he knew that I had, which I found. Then I found the matching garter belt that went to my beautiful black bra. J put all this on me with so much care that I began to cry unbeknownst to him. He made me feel
    like the most sexy woman on the planet at that very point of time. I wished that feeling would never go away .
    KEEP GOING, J!!!! WE NEED FOR YOU TO KEEP GOING. YOUR KEYHOLDER IS SPEAKING TO YOU. :)
     
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  7. Mascara^Snake
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    Mascara^Snake Ms Amanda

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    Nutty, I understand exactly how you were feeling.
    All we are and have is our memories and of course the moment we are living in.
    Its beautiful moments that live for these days and I wish you many more xx
     
  8. Mash2214
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    Mash2214 Her Locked Little Boy

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    Very Very well spoken
     
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  9. Muzzo4you
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    Muzzo4you Active Member

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    @ABITNUTTY You are special, unique, and in charge. Keep exploring the delights along your path to a FLR with J - many more physical and mental delights are yet to be discovered. Humm, 5 days brought you such a special time and feelings - is it now time to double his lock time ( once skin heals, of course )?
     
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  10. ineverknew
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    ineverknew Well-Known Member

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    so sweet and sexy. Im glad your man makes you feel that way. Just beautiful. :)
     
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  11. Allen1987
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    Allen1987 Well-Known Member

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    I have to say that he should make you feel that way. After a time his focus should be on you and nothing else. I want nothing more than to please Her and make her feel that

    way. It does take time and everyone it is different. Stay on your course and and don't always expect what you think is next. Let it happen and enjoy, your in charge.

    Just make that known.
     
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  12. Jailed
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    Jailed Member

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    We seem to be getting pretty comfortable with the new lifestyle. Everyone’s situation is different so it’s important to stay focused and not make assumptions based on other people’s experiences. I think one of our hurdles is figuring out where the lines are in our new lifestyle. We need to continue to develop our KH/Sub relationship but not be totally consumed by it.

    For me, the situation is such a mystery. Where does the need to be a sub come from? How far do you go with it? I don’t desire less sex, just for her to completely control it. I do know that so far we have grown closer and more intimate- it’s been a great experience.

    I’m sleeping much better since buying the new pillows for side sleeping . My KH doesn’t like the “barracade” of pillows but she didn’t want to unlock me either. It’s her call to make.
    Fortunately, peeing while standing has become routine again thank goodness.
    Looking forward to moving forward.
     
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  13. Allen1987
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    Allen1987 Well-Known Member

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    Jailed got some advice for you.
    I started this 5 years ago. I got back in shape and lost 60 pounds. She thought I was looking for someone else. We have now been married for over 37 years.

    I just wanted her to know that she was the only one. Took her out for Her birthday and gave Her a card with the key. She was a little surprised but no big deal.

    Fast forward to today. Think about not having a full orgasm for 116 days is like! This is not to scare you, I never expected this would happen. It would take

    to long for the history, but just wanted to say that there may be a time when your desire for sex is not for your pleasure but for Her's. Sub part comes in when

    you find out that Her desires and pleasing Her is what pleases you! To totally give yourself to some one not thinking about yourself is heaven for both of you.

    When you give control to someone that truly loves you, let go.
     
  14. Jailed
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    Jailed Member

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    I’m working on really focusing on her needs and trying to ensure that she gets 100% of the pleasure that she desires. The cage is a constant reminder to put her first and to get her launch sequence right The sequence starts early in the evening and continues for hours and has many pieces that must be right
    We had an awesome night a few days ago. After being locked for several days, she removed the cage and I was instantly ready to go. After she gave the OK, I thought I’d have a heart attack. It blew my mind how intense it was. Right now life is good because she comes first. Going to keep it that way.
     
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  15. ABITNUTTY
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    ABITNUTTY Member

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    Looking forward to spending some quality time with J this weekend. Very excited with the anticipation of what may be. He has a servant’s heart ❤️. Looking back on our life together, he has shown it to me over and over. I am very blessed and privileged to be able to say I am his wife! Honored to be served by you, my dearest!
     
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  16. ABITNUTTY
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    ABITNUTTY Member

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    So... We took the JB off last night, and I noticed something that I hadn’t before, that J’s penis was markedly smaller in length and girth... When I verbalized this, J agreed with me. We also saw that his skin on his penis and scrotum was darker, as if he had spent time out in the sun. All this became the topic of our conversation between then and bedtime, and it began our day this morning, but this morning we were relieved to see that our penis size was BACK TO NORMAN!! (That’s for all you Rugrats fans out there!) :p
     
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  17. Allen1987
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    Allen1987 Well-Known Member

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    Glad to hear that you are focusing on the right things. Believe me that after a while that feeling of focus will become a normal way of thought. That is when
    you just do the things she wants without all the thinking about it. It is great to hear this from you two. It only gets better!
     
  18. jemima
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    jemima maid for my Mistress

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    i like Rugrats :)
     
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  19. ABITNUTTY
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    ABITNUTTY Member

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    Here we are at the end of the second month of actively living the chastity life, and at this point in time, I can say that I’m not feelin’ the best.. I understand that this is a journey that we have embarked upon, and that I need to be much more patient that I am currently. I have been feeling really selfish in that I’m not feeling the way I expected to feel, but I am TOTALLY sure that I WILL be in near future!! I AM STILL ALL IN. J needs to watch his P’s and Q’s...
     
  20. Nicoftime
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    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

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    That's the perfect attitude, although I guess some manage, I don't believe a couple can be all D/s all the time. Life, problems, and just not feeling it happens. Rolling with it and knowing you will work it out is a cornerstone.
     
  21. Jailed
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    Jailed Member

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    It’s definitely a process that we’ve worked through in the first 3 months. Both of us have to stay focused and take ownership in our very different roles. Like others have written, for me being ignored even if its a misunderstanding takes the wind out of my sail. If I’m not responding how she needs me to we end asking ourselves “what’s the point to this?”
    Fortunately, we’ve worked through it and realize that just a little attention to the chasted male goes a long way. We’ve got tremendous amount of sexual tension going roght now and we have experienced a few “firsts” of our marriage: She O’d without a vibrater, I’ve been locked without any issues for 2 weeks, oral is becoming a regular thing, and we are communicating much better and in real time.
    So if you’re reading this and you are just starting out, I say stay focused, commincate a lot, and work through it. For us, it’s paying off!
     
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  22. Jailed
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    Jailed Member

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    forgot another first- showering together. It’s awesome
     
  23. Allen1987
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    Allen1987 Well-Known Member

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    I have to say that is what it is for everybody. We can not keep our focus on just one aspect of our lives. I really hate Mon-Fri,
    So much focus is on Her job, Graphic Designer. I am a machinist, black and white ,right or wrong. Put hours in and go home 4 and a half hours before She gets home. I make dinner and She comes home,we eat and it is 7:30 I get up at 3:45. head to
    bed 10:00. Not a lot of time for each other.

    I know it is not easy to keep the feelings going, but it not just feelings. You know you love each other and yet, you don't
    focus on that when you are buying a car. I have found that even though I feel this way I will roll over and lightly rub Her back as She reads before sleep. Sometimes She almost purrs and closes Her eyes, I know how She feels and am so greatfull
    that I know that I am Her's. Some times we have to wait for the feelings we expect and sometimes we can bridge the gap with just a touch. Remember that feelings can change, but commitment keeps it all together when the feeling really isn't there.
    Just remember the showering together, it was real and is what you two have together just remember go back to those moments when you feel like nothing is happening.