Our NEW life

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  1. OralServant
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    OralServant Junior Member

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    We have been together for 17 years, married for 12 and to my astonishment I feel almost as if I never truly loved or appreciated my wife until now. Actually love doesnt describe the deep sense of devotion and servitude I now feel I OWE my Queen. Since discovering BDSM, Female Superiority, Tao Sex and other related topics I am a new person with a very different perspective of marriage, women & sex.

    As a former womanizer its hard to believe I have these new feelings, so much so it caused me to reflect deeply within myself for some sort of understanding & rationalization. Honestly after reflecting upon my life and reading about the lifestyle it blew me away, for a few days I was in a daze trying to hash it all out. But how could I ignore the truth? My wife was ALREADY the leader of our home even though I made all the money. The kids know it too, Mommy rules our home & family. It was just a matter of me realizing & accepting this and move forward. So I did.

    As I accepted that fact I suddenly began to see my wife differently. I have always been attracted to my wife, even when she was pregnant. She is a TALL GORGEOUS BLONDE BOMBSHELL and she is funny too. The kind of woman everybody likes to hang out with and be near, she is adored by all. Sexually she is an orgasmic machine, she even ejaculates (more like GUSH!) when she comes. She's a sexual DYNAMO willingly to do whatever to please me. I honestly feel she has given me all she could....and I ????? I realized I could/should do better by and for her regardless of how great her life already is.

    So...I have assumed ALL daily chores and handling of the children in the evenings. I dont want her to lift a finger...unless she likes. She is a queen and it is my duty to insure her comfort and pleasure.

    My new sense of devotion & servitude has led me to offer my wife complete control of our lives. I now realize her kind gentle loving nature should never be questioned and that her maternal instincts are always right. She should always be allowed any and every liberty without me questioning anything.

    Due to my lust (I like porn) and bad habits (daily masturbation) I did what I thought I SHOULD do. I presented my wife the ULTIMATE CONTROL of chastity. I explained to her my rationale but she has yet to enforce it. I think its important SHE believes in her heart chastity is best for me and that she intiate the act. If its in her heart it will become the law of our home, and if its the law of our home it wont just fade away. It will be a real and permanent part of our lives. She did make mention that if we do this (chastity) its for life...and she gave me that look that tells me she f'n means it. Its probably only a matter of time...stay tuned.
     
  2. OralServant
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    OralServant Junior Member

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    more...

    Its the little things...

    I have always HATED doing domestic work but since my awakening I find I have the drive and enery to do it because it pleases my Queen. Giving her pleasure in ANY form seems to be my new thrill, so much so I now get erections when I cook & clean. And when she gives me "that look" with firm orders I cream myself everytime. She owns me LOL and evidently I love it.

    Last night we both learned a lesson about the power of my submission to my wife. I came home in a terrible funk due to happenings at work and haggling over some bills. I couldnt shake my frustration and my feelings for serving her were gone. After we put the kids to bed my wife and I relaxed in the bed smoking our nightly herbs and I mentined to her I was still extremely frustrated. She looked at me and said "you dont have time to worry about that" she turned over on her back and then said "your job for now is to serve & pleasure me...message my legs." I immediate feel into "sub-space" and all my frustration had vanished in the blink of an eye. Now that what I call power!

    We get our book today! exciting times...
     
  3. maid madeleine
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    maid madeleine Senior Member

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    Fantastic! Congratulations!
     
  4. OralServant
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    OralServant Junior Member

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    So our book came Friday. Im already on chapter 10 and my wife is just finishing the first. So far Im much more excited the she is about of new lifestyle. I have done all I can the last few weeks to "draw out" her dominant nature by serving her every need. My submission was fueled by my excitement to serve and please her but that enthusiasm is beginning to slide for various reasons.

    I experienced a terribly painful orgasm last week, so much so it had me in fear of my next....which got me to thinking??? What if I could no longer get any satisfaction from sex? Talk about scared straight...I was spooked. The frustration of not having a satisfcatory orgasm began to way on me and worry me. The sexual high I had been on for the last few weeks was over and the "magic" of submitting faded.

    Im thinking that she THINKS all she has to do is lay back and my submission will do her job for her, I clearly see this is mistake on her part. I need her to dominate me, without that all this is over soon.

    I went to visit a urologist who checked me out and said everything looked OK to him and that I should have relations ASAP and check back with any further complications. So we did last nite and all came out OK (pun intended). Hooray!

    This morning I wanted to see if I was still "OK" and I TOLD the wife (testing) I wanted to masturbate just to make sure. She was furious and ASKED me to wait until tonight, then she said..."do I have to lock you up"? I said "that decision is yours". I then proceeded to masturbate...she hasnt called me all day, I assume she is upset...but what is she gonna do about it? Will she take charge, ensure her happiness & fulfilment by locking me up & dominating me? Or will she back down because she lacks the will & moxie to do the job?

    On thing for sure is this...she will have to TAKE ME and OWN ME like a good Dom should/would. Im not playing the half way thing, either it is or it isnt. I have given her the power by offering my submission and the know how by ordering the book. I will remain patient but how our relationship moves forward is completely in her hands. I think its for the best to have this approach...what do you think?
     
  5. Miss D
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    Miss D Expert In Femming

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    'oralservant', I don't believe a passive aggression approach will make Her Domme you. If you push too hard, I think it might become a barrier in your relationship. Besides, it seems you are concerned about your chastity affecting your ability to orgasm - maybe She is concerned about that too.
     
  6. OralServant
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    OralServant Junior Member

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    Thank you for the advice Miss D. Since coming down off the high of being in constant arousal for a few weeks I dont feel as I did then. My passion & attentiveness was missing last nite. I still did all my chores but without the ferver I had previously. Last nite she made a comment that I wasnt the same warm fuzzy, ready to please hubby she had come to enjoy. Her tone and expression made it obvious this DID NOT please her. She contributed it directly to the two orgasms I had (yesterday morning & the nite before) but never once did she mention locking me up. This morning she said today was a new day and she expected better from me.

    My plan is to continue to do my part by doing as she instructs but I cant fake the joy of my submission. Either I have it or I dont. I feel this is where she should step up and enforce her will and my submission. It is not my intent to "top her from the bottom" but I honestly feel you cant make a D/s relationship successful without both doing their part. Again I will try to be patient. :tortoise:

    As far as the orgasms you might be right Miss D? I never took that into account.
     
  7. maid madeleine
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    maid madeleine Senior Member

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    Thanks for sharing your experiences, thoughts and emotions, oralservant. One thing you may want to keep in mind as you BOTH embark on this new life together is that it is a journey. It sounds as if your wife is on board which is an absolute blessing. Trust, honesty and lots and lots of communication will help both of you through the rough patches, of which there will be many. I don't mean to sound like a debbie-downer but this type of complete lifestyle/dynamic change does not occur overnight. It takes time for each partner to adapt and grow into their new roles. Best wishes to you and your loving wife, maid madeleine :)
     
  8. OralServant
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    OralServant Junior Member

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    Ok...so its been a week or so since my last post and life is still fantastic although there have been a few bumps in the road.

    The highlight of the week was our new QUEENING CHAIR! Expensive but well worth every penny. As someone who never gets enough oral servitude I must say this chair enables comfort for both and the ability to give and experience pleasure for a much longer duration.

    Now the downside...After she discovered I had commited the cardinal sin by masturbating unsupervised and without approval (intentional on my part) I doubled down and made another mistake by suggesting she employ a chastity device.

    After hashing it all out it is clear she is not prepared to lock me up and prefers that I submit under my own will. My hope was that she would see that I have little self control and that I need her help...it didnt work...atleast for now.

    As it stands right now, with me happily doing all the chores she assigns and whatever else that pleases her, she seems to be satisfied with the relationship as is however I understand she is still learning and adapting to her new authority and freedom. But if she would become just half the bitch I had on occasion encountered when I sometimes crossed her I should be just fine LOL...
     
  9. OralServant
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    OralServant Junior Member

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    The bonding I am experiencing is unbelieveable. I have never been the romantic type nor very "intimate" but now I am experiencing emotions that have changed me at my core.

    I also notice I have become very sensitive and for the first time had my feeling hurt by my wife which is something unfathomable prior to my submission.

    Submitting to my wife has been one of the greatest experiences of my life and from now on I will recommend every male friend who truly loves and trusts his wife to atleast try it.

    I finished the book Female Domination by Elise Sutton and my wife is still reading it herself. What is fun are the conversations we have about our now female led marriage. She said as she reflected on the past few years and reading the book that our relationship had been heading in this direction for many years. LOL I said the exact same thing to myself when I initially discovered D/s.

    Its getting better by the day...
     
  10. OralServant
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    OralServant Junior Member

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    Since my prostate exam last week my wife an I had been concerned about the effects of chastity on my health. I mentioned the Aneros to my wife and how it improves prostate health...and then she brought one home last nite!

    I told her she would have to put it in, she did. We had a laugh, it was funny. We waited for something to happen but I experienced nothing but large amounts of semen oozing everywhere. The net result was that I had officially been "milked" with absolutely no satisfaction. Perfect right?

    My wife, aroused by the moment decided to have me service her even though she was menustrating. She thought it might help me achieve the desired effect w/the Aneros but it didnt, however just giving her pleasure when its supposedly taboo was still great. She has always been horny while on the rag so pleasuring her at her neediest moment seems logical in our FLM.

    My Queen seems to be changing for the better and becoming more assertive I assume to due my submissive behavior over the last month. She just completely surprised me by informing me she would be going out tonite with a friend (whom I have no idea) AND that IF she felt it was in her best interest would allow me a release tonite upon her return. This is a first, Im very proud of her.
     
  11. Missy Tanya
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    Missy Tanya Senior Member

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    Sounds like you need to be patient. You have it better than most. Having a supporting SO that is willing to let you play, is something most do without.

    Just give her time, and all too soon she will see all the befits of you being her slave. In the mean time, you need to do everything in your power to show her the befits of taking control. Be Careful What You Wish For, soon as the lock click, you hers, from now on..

    Missy Tanya
     
  12. OralServant
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    OralServant Junior Member

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    Well its been a while since my last post but not much has changed. The Queen is quite aware of the benefits of the lifestyle but still doesnt seem very interested in learning or pursuing it much further than what it is, atleast for now. I think she feels comfortable with things as they are. And why not? she has openly stated to all her friends and family she is happier than she has ever been since my promise of submission in Feb.

    She never finished the Elise Sutton book I bought her HOWEVER she definitely expects me to live up to my promise of submission to her. When I "hit the wall" I needed a break, she became somewhat angry and threw it all my promises back in my face and said I was full of shit. That really hurt my feelings because I truly enjoyed & felt the overwhelming emotions of submitting to her.

    She expects me to pick up and clean after her everyday (she's very messy), massage her on demand, foot massage her as she gently awakens in the AM and has no problem denying me sex after I please her. All good signs but she still has no interest in chastity.

    She knows that from time to time I have cheated by masturbating without her consent and behind her back. Still she has no interest in a chastity device. She made it clear she prefers I deny myself, a mental chastity of sorts. And I have improved but I honestly would like her to be more demanding in this or even lock me up...to atleast to see how it goes. No sweat for her right? Not her style it appears.

    No, she wants a complete mental submission and while her sexuality completely overpowers and causes me to fully submit MOST OF THE TIME there are moments when the old me is having none of it. It is a struggle no doubt but I can sense, step by step, I am becoming weaker.

    She tries to be forceful with me at times but it doesnt seem very genuine, its as if it comes from instructions from the book moreso than any dominant personality traits within her. She is a loving nurturing type and seems to have difficulty enforcing any type of discipline and doesnt want to cause any pain to the ones she loves. This is what I feel I am missing. Its weird but I have this yearning to want her to be stern and even somehwhat cruel in how she treats me or gives me orders to please her. I'd like her to belittle me more and more often make comments about how small my dick is compared to her giant dildos. Again we seem to be making much progress its just not quite enough fulfillment for me...yet.

    I have strapon & cuckold fantasies and although I know we are a millions miles away from making that a reality I hold on to the hope that one day we can get there.
     
  13. Rachel
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    Rachel Owned by Mistress Michelle

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    Oral maybe we need to get our Wifes together as mine does the chastity part but not much else, unless She's drunk.

    Rachel
     
  14. chastityslavejohn
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    chastityslavejohn Mistress Irianna's pet

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    one step at a time...patience...She will rise to the level of Her own comfort.
     
  15. OralServant
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    OralServant Junior Member

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    The Queen is gone out of the country to visit a close friend and I feel lost. I couldnt imagine if something happened to her, I dont know if I could cope.

    She joked she was gonna lock me up, I got excited but she was just playing around...maybe checking my response?

    Im kinda disappointed that she left me with no instructions, no demands and even told me I could release once while she was gone, but I promised her I would wait. Im determined to submit myself mentally which is what SHE wants anyway. BTW its much easier when she is not around.

    She wrote me and said she was having a blast in South America then preceeded to tell me she was "dripping wet" in anticipation of sitting on my face with the queening chair. She says her trip has been "life changing" and I really get the sense she is ejoying her new life and unlimited freedom. This will only help in further empowering her. Curious to see what if anything changes when she returns...
     
  16. sophia
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    sophia Senior Member

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    Oralservant, i had the same situation 2-3 years ago. My Wife started being dominant and i have always been sub. Take it a little slow and let Her take the lead in her own time. She is just starting exploring her power, i guess, and you are in a hurry to do everything at once.
    Try to take it day by day and i think it will be great. Who is the boss?

    sophia
     
  17. OralServant
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    OralServant Junior Member

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    Patience is all I have, its hers to make and take of this what she will...I just dont see her (loving nuturing type) being as dominant as you suggest but what do I know? Maybe one day she'll feel the need for something more?

    The progress we have made over these 4 months is all MENTAL and nothing sexual which is, I suppose its as good as it gets for now. She's happy as ever and in reality and in this lifestyle thats all that matters.

    Heaven can wait.
     
  18. OralServant
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    OralServant Junior Member

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    It never ceases to amaze me how some aspects of domination come so natural for my queen. She has never researched anything on the subject as I have, has yet to complete the book I bought her, shows no real interest in domination yet over the years as I reflect she naturally and ever so subtly has brought me into submisson.

    She has become even moreso assertive and I more submissive and yielding. Its little things like this...now, anytime I get upset about anything she becomes angry and chastizes me then orders me to correct my attitide. "Put a smile on your face" as she likes to say. Sometomes its VERY difficult to say the least but yeilding to her feels so good...so right.

    The Queen has contemplated longer denial periods to "put my attitude in check". I begged and pleaded to her that she doesnt. For someone who is accustomed to cumming daily a three day wait has been extremely difficult to adapt to being rationed. My lust for my queen is higher than ever yet Im now being rationed releases. Its clear she sees sexual denial as driving my submission further all the while increasing her dominance and power. Still no lock up but who knows what our future holds?
     
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