Posting here also, the below were posted on another forum. Just to give everyone some background Sept 10 2018. Asked my wife of 41 years about trying chastity for me a few nights ago just as 'play', what I need to is to focus my sexual energy on her vs masturbating. My wife had no interest in chastity play. My wife has a very low (in the basement low) libido since menopause. And now that I am older I do not orgasm during PIV, and I miss that. I pulled about 5 printed pages from different websites to help her understand my need for chastity. Included at the end is my proposal for 60 days in chastity straight and then a nice romantic getaway. Wish me luck. Maybe tonight I will be locked up in a HT3. ******************************************************************************* Sept 13, 2018 Well my first post was on Monday - 3 days ago. I talked to my wife about chastity for me yesterday. It was really hard to admit why I was wanting this. She was not surprised by me taking care of myself vs PIV. And when we do have PIV I could not orgasm but I always make sure she comes. We talked about her not being interested in sex when she told me something happened to her as a young girl but did not share any details. After her interest in sex had declined and talked about it over the years, this is the first time this has come up. She requested a change to my plan so I will be locked for 20 days unlocked, visiting our daughter and family then locked back up until Nov 10 for a getaway. Hoping that ~60 without masturbating will help ‘reboot’ my system into orgasming when it should during PIV, inside my love. **************************************************************************** Sept 15, 2018 WOW, day 3 (yesterday) and the wife is getting into this. When I talked to my wife 3 days ago she was not really on-board with chastity for me. Her thoughts were after the 60 days I will want lots of PIV, what guy would not want that. We went to bed with her in her pajamas and pick a show to watch while falling asleep. The next thig I know is she is getting up stripping and laying back down asking me to take care of her. How could I refuse my wife being all locked up? (part of what I had in my letter to her was I would take care of her nightly) remember she has initiated very little in the past. After her having multiple Os and relaxing afterwards she said “After the 60 days are you staying locked up? I said if you want. Well her response was maybe this chastity is not so bad. WOW what have I created. When making her O, I was surprised how hard is was becoming, I normally have to take Cialis to help me. ****************************************************************************** Sept 17, 2018 Day 5 (yesterday). After going to bed, I tried to give my wife a good O, but none to be had. One issue we have is that she is very dry at times. That is part of why she does not like PIV. Sometime during the night, I slipped out of my HTv3 (I was not trying it just happened), I noticed this when I was getting up for the day, trying a smaller base ring hoping that helps.
So far a great story- I hope to follow in your footsteps As for the dryness there are plenty of over the counter products available at your local pharmacy or even supermarket
My wife was the same way at first but gradually saw the advantages. We also stayed away from warming gels and fragrant products. At the present we use a plain K-Y product
Same here. My wife’s libido is zero from menopause. The whole dryness issues as well. I’ve suggested KY and such but because she’s mentally not interested the physical fixes aren’t there either. What have you guys done to get over this hump?
IDK that I’m really over the hump. Although I haven’t given up, my wife is not involved with the chastity life at this point. All of life’s trials and tribulations take center stage: kids, work, health etc. In many ways we have gone more vanilla just because of the circumstances. As for getting her to use a supplemental product I really didn’t- she did. I had purchased some and I think I used it on a toy and realizing the benefits it finally stuck, So to speak. As for us I think it was tied to aging and menopause and I believe using a product was an admission to herself that her body is changing. I can’t remember the last time we didn’t use it at this point. And like always stated, this is just my opinion and everyone is different
Sept 21, 2018 Day 9 locked & since I last masturbated, redirecting my love to my wife. Still going to try for 58 days before having PIV on a nice getaway weekend. (see reasons in my first journal post). Well smaller base ring seems to be working, was afraid to go too small to begin with. The one painful issue is having nocturnal erections and the ring strangling my balls, OUCH does that hurt!! Getting up to urinate helps, but never had to get up so often to get to the bathroom. I am feeling much better about myself and more energy in general and doing projects around the house.
Nov 9-10 weekend after being locked for 60 days. First PIV in 60+ days and I think this is working for us. A nice dinner and back to the hotel to enjoy a nice relaxing whirlpool then some us time. The next day (her suggestion) maybe we can find some lube to use WOW. I never thought I would her this from the wife . This chastity has re-ignited out sex life.
Dec 10 The wife asked when we may cage again WOW she got me thinking. Dec 12 Planned a shopping weekend (a couple of outlet malls 2-3 hours away from the house) and suggested that maybe we would get a hotel if it got to late and we did not want to drive home. We picked a hotel near a winery that has wine tastings. Dec 15 After both of us bathing Sat morning, I said I did not want to pressure you into PIV if we did stay at a hotel tonight. Then laid on the bed handing her my steel cage saying just put if on if you do not want any pressure tonight, she has never caged me yet always had to self lock. After telling her how I am now caged. After checking into the hotel, the wife had a nice relaxing soaking bath. I ask her to let me play with her (I am caged at this time). After a nice long warm up I start oral on her and she had a nice long O. She definitely is learning to enjoy coming with no pressure of PIV.
Dec 18 Last night me wife asked, what if I want you unlocked before this coming Saturday? I said that is your choice. After locking me up this past Saturday she just put her key in our suitcase (we were just using 1 for the overnight), I went into the suitcase getting the key out and handed it to her. I think I am staying locked up for now .
Other than the menopause, your situation is very similar to mine. My wife / KH was super not into chastity at first. Everything was me. But this time around she's come to me with information about some childhood assaults that really made her uninterested in sex. Now with my cage on and the beast being tamed metaphorically and physically there has been a 180 shift in our interpersonal dynamic. Now there is never a hesitancy around me pleasing her (bringing her to O with a vibrator, me locked). We have even done it three times in a day. That's more than we would do in a 6 month time way back when. That's in our rear view mirror though. Interestingly, now that things have changed and she's fine with using lube, she doesn't seem to need it anymore. Use it or lose it right? Seems like we are both feeling so frisky and we spend more time in the bedroom than newlyweds. Chastity has made a world of difference. Once you get over that hump and the benefits become obvious to her, well prepare yourself for the ride of your life.
Dec 21 I was thinking I had to wait until tomorrow for release. My wife asked me to take care of her. After her having a few good Os she pulled out the key to unlocked me and noticed I was dripping. This is not something that has happened in a very long time. Now unlock until???
Dec 26 Back from the kids and locked back up. We go away again today so think I will be unlock again.
My wife had been sick for a few weeks and we have been planning to go on a wine tastings then an overnight at a hotel. She just told me to lock up. Then took the key. I love her.
Great wine / shine tasting then off to the hotel. Was still locked up until after dinner but the wife had a great O. After we were back in the hotel room she tossed me the key unlock and had some PIV . this morning she shaved me down and relocked, until ???