Our Journey Begins...

Completely new to the forum, but thought it might be a fun place to document how things go with my upcoming adventure with chastity. I am a 24 y/o male with a somewhat hesitant/vanilla but also intrigued 25 y/o girlfriend.

Background: I've been a heavy masturbator and porn consumer since I was 14 or so. Like many people who watch a lot of porn, my interests became more and more extreme. I have always been into female-dominated scenes, and in the last few years became very into cuckold/cheating porn. For the most part, however, this was not something I wanted to make reality. Besides some light scratching and spanking during sex, I'm not into getting hurt, and I'd be devastated if I was ever cheated on.

Watching a lot of femdom, I naturally was aware of chastity devices/cock cages. However, I always associated them with sissification, getting pegged, etc. While I found that somewhat hot from time to time, it wasn't something I'd want to bring into my own life. I never considered chastity to be a realistic possibility.

My girlfriend and I started dating 3.5 years ago. We moved in together about 2.5 years ago. Our relationship started off very hot and heavy, but we were also drinking and partying a lot. When sober, our sex drives are mismatched - mine is much higher. Additionally, she's quite vanilla while sober. Sadly, a lot of it seems to be that she's scared to be considered abnormal and feels ashamed by kinky sex. She doesn't use much internet outside of social media, so she hasn't been exposed to many of the... risque sources of information. I sometimes have to read her body language to know what she wants, because she won't ever use her words. She'll let loose a lot when she's had some drinks, especially on vacations - anal sex, public sex, etc. Furthermore, she was adamant from the beginning that she HATES porn. Again, I think this is due to her feeling that porn is "weird" and that a girl like her isn't supposed to watch it. She's also never owned a dildo/vibrator and has no interest in them - she claims to be grossed out by the idea of toys.

Unfortunately, as we settle into our long-term careers, we don't have the time to have party like we used to, and our sex lives began to fade quite a bit. She had an illness for a while that killed her sex drive completely. She'd still let me have sex with her, but would rarely, if ever, cum, even if I went down on her. That's been taken care of, and we're back onto a steady rhythm, but during that time I ended up turning to porn quite a bit. She was okay with that, and told me as long as she wasn't in the house that it was okay.

However, things got pretty bad on my part. I was watching too much and becoming frustrated that my beautiful girlfriend wasn't acting like a porn girl. She'd come home exhausted after a long day at work (I work at home), and I'd be upset that she wasn't falling on her knees to suck my dick. I'd start feeling resentful and grumpy. She would still often give me sex, but she'd mostly lay on her stomach and let me fuck her until I was finished, but after a while I got tired of that and would just walk off and finish myself on the couch after she'd fallen asleep.

Needless to say, this drove a wedge between us. She really wasn't doing anything wrong, and I was being selfish, but I couldn't get over it. I started to view sex as little more than a heightened masturbation session - just a way of making myself cum that felt better than my hand. Even when she DID show enthusiasm, I'd become upset once things started to go not my way. Ridiculous behaviour on my part. I no longer wanted to give her massages or buy her flowers, because best-case scenario was sex, which I felt I had enough of. I could just masturbate anyway, so why bother doing the song and dance for her?

Often times, when we had good sex, I wouldn't even want to finish. She didn't understand why, but I think I didn't like the way I felt after the release. I wanted to keep basking in that horny glow that comes before orgasm. Often, I'd stop early after she came and rub her back until she slept, and then masturbate to the sight of her sleeping naked next to me. However, after I came, I once again had those grumpy feelings, and would fall asleep feeling dissatisfied. Other times, she'd tell me no when I asked for sex, and I would feel turned on by the rejection. However, it was more of an angry turned on, because I knew that I would just go jerk off like a child on the couch. Clearly, I was dissatisfied, but figured it was just a mismatched sex drive and that I'd have to learn to lower my libido if our relationship would survive.


Re-discovering chastity play: About a month ago, I was googling ways to cut down masturbation in a relationship. I came across a few sources that mentioned chastity devices. This was also a heavily criticized approach, which I somewhat agree with - porn addiction is mental, and throwing a physical block in the way is just a cheap shortcut. However, I also came across the many testimonies which talked about how chastity reinvigorated their servitude and admiration for their partner. That intrigued me a lot. I wanted to be able to treat my girlfriend like a princess like I used to.

So, I sheepishly brought up chastity. I explained that I didn't want to masturbate during the day while she was at work anymore, and this might be a way to make me appreciate sex with her more.

This may have been the worst way to introduce chastity imaginable. She flipped out. She said it sounded like I wanted her to treat my penis like a dog, letting it out of its crate once she got home. She said that if I wanted to appreciate her, it shouldn't be because I get sex in return. I should just want to make her happy. I hastily dropped the topic and told her that it was a stupid idea, and went back to the drawing board.

A couple weeks ago, I explained to her a bit about tease and denial. Her blowjobs have always been straight to the point - immediately sucking as fast as possible, because that's what she thinks feels the best. I said that it made me feel good when she'd kiss around my penis without touching it, or when she'd stop when I was excited and let me calm down again before continuing. I didn't know if she got it or not, but she was at least open to listening.

That night, as I was starting to fall asleep, she came to bed and lay next to me. She told me to get on top of her in missionary, so I did. She stroked me until I was hard, and then began rubbing the tip of my penis on her clit. She started moaning and became extremely wet. I leaned in and asked if I could fuck her... she whispered back "no". After a few seconds, she started to guide me inside her... and then immediately pushed me back out and took her hand off me. I could have exploded right there. She then began rubbing me on her clit again, and used her other hand to reach around me and graze my ass. Holy shit. I don't know if she had read something online, but she FINALLY GOT IT. I came immediately, all over her. I couldn't resist. She gasped and gave me an angry look. She grabbed some Kleenex cleaned herself off, then said sternly "How dare you. Eat me out." Needless to say, I did, still tasting myself all over her. She came and rolled over to sleep while my cock was throbbing for round two.

I brought up chastity again over the next couple days. I said that I explained it wrong the first time, and that it was more of a way that I could feel sexually connected to her, even on days that she didn't want to have sex. I said that even her ignoring me would be a turn on, because she would be holding the control to my pleasure in her hand. I said that I would feel as if her hand was wrapped around me all day and night, letting me feel close without requiring her to put in energy. She still didn't quite get it, but I think seeing the effect that denying me sex had on my orgasm was starting to show her that this was a real thing. But I didn't press the point.

Two days ago, we were laying in bed, and she asked me to give her a butt massage. I did, and then began to kiss her on her back and move my way down. I stopped every few seconds, but she'd wiggle her butt towards me, showing me that she was into it. Next thing I know, I had my tongue rubbing all over her beautiful ass. I've eaten her ass before, but usually it was just some slight licks here and there during cunnilingus or as a quick precursor to anal, and usually she'd guide me back towards her vagina. This time, I had my full focus on her hole while she moaned for about ten minutes. She guided my fingers towards her clit and I made her cum. She then pulled me up beside her and began rubbing my penis onto her clit until she came again. She got into doggystyle position and rubbed me against her lubed-with-saliva ass, and even began to guide the head in... and then stopped. She rolled over onto her side and said goodnight. As I lay beside her, my heart pounding with excitement, she said, matter-of-factly, "go ahead and buy that dick thing". As she slept, I jerked myself off, and then immediately felt disappointed in myself - but I just couldn't resist. This was a dream come true.

Last night we attended a party with some friends. I was pretty drunk and couldn't stop thinking about the night before. I went to the bathroom and eventually bought a device from Amazon, which will arrive this week. On our way home, I drunkenly told my girlfriend that I'd bought a toy. She rolled her eyes, but with a smile.

This morning, we were lying on the couch, when she turned to me and said "so... you bought that toy." I said yes. She said she still thought it was kinda weird and wasn't sure what she was supposed to do. I explained that she only had to do what she wanted to do. I said she could come up with little games, or tell me that I get to cum and then take it away last second, or do nothing at all. I said it was entirely up to her. She said she was a bit worried about the logistics - can it be seen through my pants? What about metal detectors? I said these were things I'd figure out later, and for now I just wanted her to have fun.

She asked if this meant I was going to buy her more stuff - half joking. I said we'd see, but some people have said that. I said that a big part of me wanted to treat her as nice as I used to at the start of the relationship when we were in the courting stage, and that if she wanted massages and things like that, that I would say yes. She happily said "oh... I guess you're my slave now then". I said yes, and then she said she was kidding, that she didn't want me to be her slave. She then asked for a massage, and I obliged. She asked if I'd taker her for dinner and a movie tonight, and I said yes. She said "hmmm, maybe I will enjoy this."

So... here's where we're at. The device is in the mail and I can't wait to get started. I'm not going in with crazy high expectations - I know that this won't necessarily change my life or anything. But I'm so glad that my girlfriend is open-minded about this, and I can't wait to give it a shot!

 

I'm still awaiting the arrival of my device, which is being shipped in from China (yay to cheap Amazon products!), but had an excellent chastity experience tonight nonetheless. Since our progress last week, I've been a lot more "lovey" than usual towards her, explaining that I want to focus more on making her happy and that I'd love if she would give me more instructions on how to please her. This has meant daily foot and back massages, doing more around the house, preparing food, etc. She's loved the extra attention and definitely been more bossy, which I find cute and sexy.

We both worked from home today, so we had a lovely time getting work done out on our balcony and enjoying a nice dinner. Around 11pm, we decided to get ready for bed and hopped in the shower. I'm not sure what got into her, but she decided she wanted to clean me top to bottom. Scrubbed me with soap, shampooed and conditioned my hair, then got out the razor. I usually keep myself bare down below, but haven't shaved in a few weeks. She got down to her knees and, for the first time, started shaving me. Very out of the blue but quite lovely, and she did a better job than I've ever done!

Usually, dual showers mean sex. As we made our way to the bedroom, I told her that I was okay with not finishing tonight, like we talked about. She said "well maybe I want you too". I said it was her decision, that I wanted it to be all about her. She said "I guess we'll see" with a wink, and then asked for me to start rubbing her back.

That transitioned into me eating her out, while one of her feet rubbed against my penis. I made her cum, and then she smiled and said goodnight. I had a bit more work to get done before sleep, so I got up to leave. She rolled over onto her stomach and said that I could have sex with her, but only if I gave her a massage while doing so. I immediately jumped on that offer!

As I entered her, she said to only go in an inch, and that I could only go deeper if gave her a good enough massage. She said if I did well I could even cum. For about ten minutes I gave her the deepest, most thorough massage I've ever given! She slowly pushed back until I was all the way in as I felt like I was going to explode. She even reached back and began to stroke my thighs, balls, and then rubbed towards my ass, which she's only ever done while extremely drunk.

After about ten seconds, I couldn't help myself and began to buck my hips. She immediately pulled away until I fell out, and cheerfully said "I didn't say you could do that! Goodnight!"

Well, fuck! I collapsed into her for a hug, and she pulled away and said "I'd like some space now!" I laid beside her, caught between extreme frustration and pure bliss. She said "that was great! Maybe next time I'll let you finish!" to which I could only moan.

I got up to leave and commented how I felt very happy inside, and even though I really wanted to cum, I felt very energetic and content. She said "yeah, you're always grumpy when you cum! This is much better". I said "you know, I still have to cum sometimes", to which she made a thinking face and smiled. As I left the room, she said "you better not do anything - and I'll know!" A few minutes later, she ran out to give me a giggly kiss, and then was back in bed.

Now I'm sitting in the living room, desperate to cum but holding off for the sake of this experiment!Tonight was intense and the chastity device hasn't even come into play yet. I can't believe that things are progressing like this already but it seems like I woke something up inside of her. We've had our ups and downs lately due to life stress, but this experience was one of the most light hearted that we've shared in a long time. Taking the focus off my orgasm really opened up our experience and allowed her to get what she wanted, and that's awesome. I feel full of energy even though its the middle of the night, not barely able to stay awake like after I cum. It's also nice to not have the awkward, post-sex cum cleanup!

As a side note, I've been doing some more reading and learning that ball-trap devices are escapable. At first, this made me feel a bit less excited - what's the point if it's just in my head? But I think I'll be able to make do by not sharing this little bit of information with the girlfriend. She hates the idea of roleplay, but I'm cool with it and can resist trying to escape for some relief if necessary. As long as she thinks I can't get out, I'm sure she'll do everything she can to push my buttons. Additionally, I'm quite long flaccid (4 inches), which I think will make it difficult to slip out. We'll see in a few days!

 

Quick update.. once I got into bed, she sleepily asked what my favourite part of the night was. I said I enjoyed making dinner. She said she meant when we had sex (this was surprising, she rarely initiates sex talk). I said I liked the game with the massage, and she said she did too. I asked when I get to cum and she said "hmmmm..maybe your birthday?" (about five months from now). I laughed and said "I think it needs to be more frequent than that... shouldnt I get rewards for being good?" She said "if youre not good, Ill never let you finish again.."

This is going to be interesting.

 

Thank you! I'm enjoying keeping a journal on here, primarily for my own purpose of re-living my experiences but it's also fun to know I'm entertaining someone!

It's an interesting revelation when you realize you don't want orgasm anymore. The hormones that fill your brain as you approach orgasm, begging your body to let you cum, wash away all those post-orgasm thoughts of regret as if they never happened. I don't think I ever would have noticed until I had a girlfriend, as she always feel neglected when I don't want to cuddle or chat after sex. Last night I wanted nothing more than to lay with my hand on her back and stroke her hair while she snoozed, which is great for both of us. I'm already starting to dread the numbness that will follow my next orgasm.


One concern I have is that this is a slippery slope. Considering she's already embraced denying me and even playing with my ass, things I NEVER would have expected, I'm wondering if I've truly started the process of creating a monster. Will she eventually want me to get a strapon/sleeve? Will she want to peg me? These are things that I get turned on by, but am scared to introduce into reality.

What about cuckolding? Part of me wants it to happen. We've discussed having an open relationship before, with her saying she's okay with me picking up other girls, and I've expressed that I find it hot to imagine her with other guys (we've done a bit of "hot past" stuff, with her giving me a few details on guys she's been with).

But another part of me thinks I'd be crushed if it actually happened. As we're young, I'm scared to imagine how far things can go after a few years - maybe at a resort, after a few drinks and me being locked up, that we might get to that point. Another part of me thinks "who the fuck cares?" I trust her completely and don't think she'd ever leave me for someone else... but there are many stories out there of that happening! Has any user on here ever experienced this - that chastity has lead to the dissolution of their relationship? I'd be interested in reading that.


Anyway, I'm droning on! At any rate, this is better than the alternative, which was getting very old. I'm going to try and convert my additional energy into work and going to the gym, so hopefully this is an overall life improvement.

 

Another night of intense teasing last night. I cleaned the entire house and got wine before she arrived home to show how appreciative I was of how open-minded she's been. When she got home, I gave her a deep foot massage with oil and lotion while she played video games and drank wine for a couple hours. Then we went to bed.

First, she kissed me, and told me that I was so good she was going to let me go on top of her and "have sex with her face" as she puts it. I excitedly moved to do that, and she stopped me and said that I had to eat her out first. I went down on her, and she told me to go very slowly. I asked if I could touch myself while I did, and she said no. While I ate her out, she commented how when we first started dating she used to cum every single day, and that her mood was much better back then, and that she was glad we were going back to that.

After she came, she pulled me up towards her. As I started to climb on top to put my self in her mouth, she said "I changed my mind". She said she wanted me to fuck her until I came instead, so I put myself in and started thrusting. After a few strokes, she pulled back and reached down. With one hand, she massaged my cock and with the other she rubbed my balls, with just the tip inside her. I told her I was about to cum, and she stopped completely, pulled away and said, "Nevermind, not tonight!"

I moaned and told her how horny I was and how badly I wanted to cum, and she said "if you're horny tonight, just imagine how horny you'll be tomorrow! You can wait one more day, right?" I said yes, and she said "well, maybe tomorrow. Maybe the next day. Maybe not. We'll see!"

All I wanted to do was hold her tight and feel her body, so I did. I felt such a carnal sense of desire, and I think she could sense it. She ran one finger up and down my thigh, gently grazing my cock and balls once in a while. I asked if there was anything I could do to be allowed to cum, and she said maybe if I rubbed her back. I did, while she lay with her head resting on my arm. She started to intensely suck and lick my forearm, and commented "imagine how good this would feel on your dick".

After about five minutes of this, she opened up her thighs, put a pillow between them, and told me to put my head down. I did, with the back of my head facing towards her vagina. She said she wanted to feel both my hands on her legs to make sure I wasn't cheating. She pulled my butt towards her and began running a finger along my buttcheeks and lower back. My lower back is extremely sensitive, so it felt like an electric charge every time she grazed it, causing me to moan. She ran her finger along my asshole towards my dick and commented and how she couldn't believe I was still so hard. She told me to make it go soft, and if I did, that she'd let me cum, and that I had thirty seconds.

Obviously, that was not going to happen. I was hard as a rock and that wasn't changing. Once thirty seconds was up, she grabbed and stroked me a few more times, spanked me hard on the ass, and said "goodnight!"



So, in other words, she's really taking to this. She's a dominant woman in her work life, so maybe this shouldn't shock me, but I was not expecting her to get so much enjoyment from this. I think that she enjoys being able to make me squirm and shiver with nothing more than her finger, whereas we got to a point where even a deep, intense blowjob barely made me excited. I don't think she knows about things like ruined orgasms, and I'm scared to teach her!

 

We've been visiting with family and not had an opportunity to play around much, other than me making her cum a couple times and some light teasing before going to sleep. One night, she said she was going to try to make me cum without touching my penis at all, but I wasn't quite at the point where something like that would be possible so she gave up. My cage still hasn't arrived, but is now in transit for the end of this week.

Last night was right back into it. We had a long, soapy shower where I washed her thoroughly. I was down on my knees cleaning her legs and butt and couldn't resist touching myself, which she noticed. She ordered me to stop and said "looks like you'll be wearing that cage in the shower as well".

We got into bed, where I laid down a towel and gave her an oiled massage while she had a glass of wine. As I massaged her back, she began to slide her ass softly back and forth on my penis. As it's been over a week now, I immediately knew that I could cum in that instant, so I told her. She pulled away and told me to keep massaging.

After a few minutes, she started to do the same again, softly rubbing her ass against me. I told her I was about to cum and pulled away to stop. She used her legs to secure me in place and said "nuh-uh, I decide if you can stop. You better not cum!" I tried my hardest, but it was impossible. I told her I was about to cum and she stopped, but it was too late - I exploded all over her back with zero stimulation. The rush of emotions, frustration, and pleasure were intense! I almost felt like I could cry.

She laughed at how much cum was there and told me to clean it up. I explained to her that my orgasm had been ruined because she stopped right before I came. She laughed and said "I guess you won't cum without me telling you to again! If you'd lasted, I was going to let you cum in my butt - oh well!" She had me eat her our and we went to sleep.


I'm still insanely horny today. I don't know if it was a completely ruined orgasm, because I shot everywhere and didn't dribble out the end like I've seen before, but it was still distinctly unsatisfying, even though it was my fantasy! I can't wait for the cage to arrive so we can really step this up.

 

It's amazing how chastity can produce change in a woman! Even with the cage still on its way, my girlfriend has begun showing dominance in ways she never has before. Knowing I was desperate to cum, last night she had me strip fully naked and feed her grapes while she watched television with the promise I'd get to fuck her afterwards. After around an hour of this, she pulled me in, pushed her panties aside, and allowed me to enter her... then immediately pushed me out. I moaned and subconsciously began to stroke myself, so she slapped me hard on the head of my cock and ordered me to bed. She demanded me not to touch myself again, and as I was going to the bedroom, said "just because you don't get to cum doesn't mean I can't". As I lay in bed, I could only to listen as she moaned and masturbated in the living room.

Cage arrives Monday... can't wait!

 

Cage finally arrived last night. Unfortunately for my fun, escape feels like it would be relatively easy. I managed to slip out on a large base ring when I was in the shower, and am now on the smallest option. I'm not going to try and escape, but I think I could if I really wanted.

Still, it feels very erotic to have it on. Looking forward to getting my girlfriends opinion later!

 

Well, this was a complete failure. The device is extremely irritating and pinches constantly, so I can't wear it for more than an hour, especially if I'm doing anything involving movement. Contrast this with the reviews that say it's perfect even for exercise. At the same time, I was able to slip out as if it wasn't even there while showering in it, even on the smallest ring size. I don't have the disposable income to trial-and-error a bunch of $100+ devices, so this might be the end.

 

Giving this a fresh try. Got a knockoff CB6k with a bunch of sizing options and feel comfortable, way more than the metal device. No pinching at all if I'm careful. Going to try to sleep on it overnight and through the day tomorrow.

 

Slept through the whole night with no pain! Woke up with a slight ache from my morning wood pulling on the device, but no pinching or burning like I had with the metal device. Going to allow my girlfriend to take the keys to work today (with an emergency one hidden at home)... we'll see how this goes!

 

The new device is great so far! Wore it for a full 36 hours and finally had it unlocked for a shower. I stroke myself once and was in heaven. It's amazing how fast denial will build up your sexual appetite. As soon as I was done, I was ordered to put it back on, which was difficult due to my raging erection.

The girlfriend and I haven't had much time to play as we're both busy with work right now, but she seems to be enjoying herself so far and was happy to take my keys.

 

Locked up for 2.5 days now, with just breaks for showers. I think I'm being a bit too pushy with trying to get my girlfriend to tease and dominate me, so it's been somewhat slow.
However, tonightwhen we went to bed, she said "I'll grab your key and let you out, we can have sex". She went to unlock it and then said "nevermind! You can just rub my butt instead". I moaned, so she said she was just joking and took off the lock... Then put it back on and laughed. She then said "maybe you can just put the plastic part inside me... That way I get to feel good and you can't feel anything!" This made me happy because I have a huge fetish for fucking her with a strap-on while caged, and it could open the door to having that conversation down the line.

But, for now, I'm going to make an effort to back off entirely for a while. My goal is to not mention the cage at all tomorrow and see if that increases her interest in playing with me. Let's see how it goes!