Our FLR Year 1 - Nanny and sissybaby alexa

Nanny and this sissy have been in a formal FLR since April 2017. We approached the lifestyle as a fun experiment based on deep friendship, giggling most of the way. As we count down the days to our 1-year Anniversary, it is clear that there will be a Year 2, and beyond....

Like many CB wearers, I introduced chastity to Nanny. She found it intriguing and exciting. I was self-locking at the time and let her into my kinky world. As a confidant at first, but soon it became clear we both wanted to explore this together. We fumbled with regular dates and shared an early few vanilla nights in bed together. It was very tender and nice. Yet, we found ourselves more enamoured with the kinky side and less with the coitus. We discussed our leanings and agreed that neither of us wished to pursue the traditional P in V couple's dynamic.

We reverted to friendship yet remained open and close. Nanny had been my housekeeper, so she was long aware of my diaper drawer and satins. (Can you believe we met via Craigslist for vanilla reasons? Coincidence?) This 10 year period led us to April 2017. We were hanging out on the sofa one afternoon. I was locked and diapered as usual under my satin pyjama bottoms. Nanny was wearing skinny jeans and a form fitting top. Not knowing if I was having a fantasy of my own (Party for one!), I proposed the FLR to Nanny, nervously. She immediately said YES! to becoming my Keyholder and our FLR began.

I was finally in chastity with my eager new KH. Over the first weeks, our focus was on the nursery. Nanny became 'Nanny' after her insistence that this project get completed. 'No more procrastinating' she proclaimed. 'I've been hearing about the nursery plan for years, and I want it finished'. I was ecstatic, happily having both encouragement then the command to make my kinky life's dreams come true. By the end of summer, Nanny had her sissybaby alexa bound in the crib, teasing her, spanking her & milking her. alexa has remained locked and there has been no further PiV silliness. If Nanny has desires, they are met without the use of alexa's little tinkle.

I was elated to feel the approval & encouragement to let my sissy side come to life, whilst at the same time wondering if it was all too good to be true. Reassured repeatedly by Nanny, we have settled into our unique dynamic. Nanny is a specialized child care teacher and a mother of 2, so our time together is limited to a few hours per week. This has given us both the space to adapt and test our dynamic, without feeling overwhelmed. I have been on the honour system with my devices, which has worked well for the past year.

Nanny used to worry about my discomfort in my cage, especially as she teased me and observed the results. Our FLR was new for both of us, and she has always been very considerate of my feelings and comfort. Once she realized I loved being locked up, she starting enjoying the empowerment. No more pressure for her to be someone's girlfriend, with the demands on her time and for sexual access. Our arrangement suited her nicely and made her tingle she said. She increasingly expressed her happiness and arousal at having her very own sissymaid and baby locked in chastity in the nursery.

Yesterday, Nanny visited and sissymaid alexa was dressed in her pink satin maid's dress, 5" pansy heels and new long curly blonde wig. Nanny absolutely loved it! I measured all of her sizes and we picked out a new latex outfit for her. By the time she had to leave, we hadn't played at all. Normally, I get teased & toyed, spanked & milked, before Nanny leaves me in fresh diapers floating in subspace. When I lamented her departure, she remarked 'Too bad alexa, you'll have to wait until next week'.

I think she's go the hang of it.

This week marks the final days of my 1st year locked and of our FLR. As you can see from my profile pic, I have a vert special new custom Behind Barz belt, which I have been secretly breaking in. Nanny will see it for the first time when she opens the big box full of presents I have planned for our celebration. I expect my chastity will get much more serious in year 2......

 

About to start our 2nd year of chastity, so I'm testing my new ticker here.

 

We celebrated our 1-year FLR anniversary last night. It was heaven.


You know how you fantasize about certain plans or events, relishing every little detail in your mind? Then, when the real-life version occurs, it somehow isn’t quite as good as the fantasy? Have you ever read a great book, then gotten so excited to see the film, only to feel let down? Not as great as how you imagined the story, right?


But every once in a while, the film is betterthan the book, and it is such a great experience. Last night falls into this rare category.


Nanny had set the date, April 14th. Sissymaid alexa was to entertain & serve in the Manor, and would be making all the preparations. Nanny requested only a few specifics, like sushi for dinner and having alexa place Her Nannywear in the bathroom for Her, leaving the rest of the planning to me. Nanny knew how Her sissy entertained guests, so She had full confidence that the setting would be nicely prepared. I prepared the lounge in my new fuchsia kitten heels (which I would be wearing with my outfit later), a pink bra and my white satin babydoll. I am alwaysdiapered and locked in chastity underneath my outfits. These have been my rules since last April.


Now, given previous reactions, I know Nanny really enjoys it when alexa gets all dolled up for Her. She giggles and claps excitedly whenever she arrives to find Her sissy in full attire. So, I really don’t fear ridicule or worry about dressing in babywear or sissywear. That ice is well broken between us. Nanny expected me to dress for our special occasion, for sure, but I had a few surprises in mind.


The first, and most important one, would be my new Behind Barz custom chastity belt (as seen in my avatar). Nanny had no clue about this, because I dropped no hints. We spoke confidently about Year 2 in general terms, how we both wished to carry on with our FLR and my training, but nothing too specific.


The other surprise I had for Nanny was the care I took with my make-up. I watched YouTube tutorials and researched the best products. I practiced and got better results over the past weeks.
I learned about contouring, eye primers, lip pencils and smokey eyes. (I can tell you that I am completely incapable of putting eyeliner on, without looking like a drunken raccoon). I have now assembled a complete makeup case which would make most gals jealous – that’s what Nanny said when She saw it!


I had a number of presents wrapped for the occasion. I wrapped each of the four boxes in different solid colors with baby blue and pink ribbons tying them all together in a big stack, which was waiting on the coffee table. Having established, last April, that I am responsible for all of Nanny’s lingerie shopping, this has expended to include Nannywear and anything else She directs me to find.

Nanny hates shopping! So, with a party to plan and full approval from Nanny, what do you think happened? alexa went overboard. Big time. Not in a bad way (although the thought of totally overwhelming Nanny, and her fleeing the building did occur to me), but in that rare, totally-unbounded-by-expense-or-concern way. A sissymaid with a credit card and open shopping instructions is a dangerous thing.


One of Nanny’s themes of the past year has been Her desire to become more dominant. She knows She wishes to master ‘Mistressing’ and is growing impatient with herself. Leisure time is her greatest need, but I always reassure her that this will increase and she need not feel guilty about it. Her sissy is here to help make her life easier, I tell her. Like many new Dommes, She can’t quite believe that She has her very own sissymaid available for errands & service. She’s becoming a true believer, slowly but surely.


She instructed me to find Her some black lingerie and ‘dominant outfit’. She has increasingly embraced Her empowerment and femininity, allowing Herself to play the Goddess and wants to dress the part. I ordered Her a black satin, retro bra & six-strap garter belt from ‘What Katie Said’, along with Gia black seamed stockings (Nanny specifically requested these) from Stockings HQ. Nanny would be bringing Her own heels. I ended up taking a flyer on a black strappy latex dress from Amazon. Not the greatest quality, but it was a start.


I also bought Nanny some books for Her library. Nanny always appreciates Her sissy’s efforts to curate lifestyle information and media for Her to peruse. The titles

I purchased were, The Mistress Manual, A Keyholder’s Handbook, and Tips & Tricks for Keyholders.


Another present consisted of new sets of matching bras & panties, Nanny blouses

I hoped She would like, and a few long pencil skirts She favored. These three wrapped boxes were stacked on top of the largest and final wrapped box - the pink one.


Inside, I had placed my new chastity belt on some pink tissue paper, with a sealed envelope and a silver jewelry box. How would Nanny react as She opened Her presents? (Please don’t tell me I was going to experience that sinking feeling, when you know it’s all wrong. You miscalculated and now She’s freaked-out. Not the sort of humiliation most submissives crave. Anything but dismissal and rejection. Oh, lordy!)


I had all week to prepare, and was enjoying getting things ready. At 5 pm, I took my shower, after applying some Nair hair removal cream to my bare legs and chest. My waxing took place on Wednesday, so I was smooth from the (trimmed) eyebrows down. I’ve been more intent on living as alexa everyday, when not required in vanilla world. This means greater attention to my femininity. I keep my nails painted at all times inside, even if it means re-polishing many times a week. Sissies need to push themselves, don’t they? Given the results others have displayed here at CM, or on tumblr or FL, I was inspired to complete my ‘look’ and take my alter ego, alexa, more seriously. None of this would have happened without Nanny. She was the catalyst for alexa’s name and emergence as Her full-time sissymaid and baby. The Nursery was well established already, so my diaper discipline has been in place for a while.


I decided the theme of the evening I was directing would be titled ‘An FLR Future’. Nanny was informed that this was alexa’s take on what our FLR might look like & how it might be structured. Should Nanny overwhelmingly approve, I was prepared to make it reality. I sent Her this text at 6 pm. Her only role in my movie was to embrace Her most desired, dominant Goddess role (and not to forget Her high heels).


After drying off, I locked my usual pink HTv2 in place, already missing my new steel belt. There’s something so balanced and secure about the weight of a full belt. I pulled my diapers & plastic pants back on, my pink bra on, my kitten heels and my new pink satin and lace kimono wrap and began applying my makeup. I was getting more proficient, and decided to skip the eyeliner. After 30 minutes, I was finished and quite pleased with my work. Definitely, the best application to date. I wasn’t worried that Nanny would criticize. She never did that, but I did wish to look as good as I’ve seen achieved by others, and not like a dude-in-a-dress with cakeloads on his face.


I returned to my boudoir and fitted my Lace Embrace custom, blush pink corset.

I pulled on new white stockings and secured them to the corset’s garter tabs. I don’t know about you, but this is easily one of the most enjoyable feminine tasks. I love the feel of the nylon as it slides up my legs, and the spring of the garter tabs as they pull the stocking taut.


All made-up, corset laced & stockings secured, I slipped my fuchsia heels on and clicked my way over to the full-length mirror for a look. Even without my wig, I was stunned at how good I looked (and felt!). I then slipped my baby blue satin maid’s dress over my foundation garments. (For the ABDL inclined, I had also changed into a new BareBum disposable diaper with a Rearz flow through booster, topped with Babykins white vinyl plastic panties. I wanted my diapers to last all evening.) I shook my new long, blonde curly wig out and positioned it – I always feel clumsy with this. I brushed and arranged my wig & clipped on the large fuchsia bow that matches the little bows on my dress and my new heels. Outfit complete, I stepped in front of the mirror. Readers can judge for themselves, from the photos below.


Feeling so pleased with herself, sissymaid alexa then skipped around lighting the candles, plumping the pillows, and getting our sushi ordered for delivery, waiting for Nanny to arrive.


Cue dramatic music as alexa hears the door open downstairs. Nanny has arrived and will be climbing the main staircase to the 2nd floor lounge, to see Her alexa all dolled up like never before. I was standing at attention as Nanny reached the landing and turned towards me.


She is speechless as She covers Her face. Somehow, She’s more embarrassed than me! She turns away and walks towards the bathroom, then turns, because She can’t notlook at Her sissymaid alexa, in all her finery. She literally does not move Her hands from Her face for 2-3 minutes. I am standing there beaming with pride and even doing a twirl, undaunted by her reaction (to be truthful, I know Nanny so well, and I knew it was all good). She had to go into the bathroom to change into Her Nannywear anyway, so I shooed her away humorously, saying ‘Ok, Goddess, go get dressed and recover from the shock’.


I returned to the lounge and amused myself, until Nanny emerged looking fabulous Herself. She was wearing an outfit I had purchased for Her, consisting of a long dark pencil skirt and a bold red chiffon blouse with 4” pewter coloured high heels.

Va-voom!


She hugged me repeatedly, finally able to begin expressing Herself. ‘alexa, I have never seen you look as gorgeous as tonight. I love your new heels, and your makeup looks amazing!. How? How did you pull all of this off?!’ Hug, hug, hug. She sat down as I served us two flutes of Champagne. She allowed me to sit opposite in the other chair, and I made a toast to our 1stAnniversary. Clink, clink. Then I asked Her to summarise Her feelings about the year and perhaps share Her desires around where we are heading. (Again, I had a slight fear of what was about to be unwrapped on the table behind us).


She began by saying that it has all been great, but……. (BUT?! Is this where the whole thing is about to shatter, I’m thinking?…..that doesn’t’ make sense, OMG!!) She went on to explain that She struggled with Her lack of leisure time and worried She would feel guilty because She couldn’t make the same contribution and effort She felt I was making and needed in return. She was so pleased with Her sissy’s commitment, but found herself lacking!


Sidebar, if I may - I think it’s fair to say, no sissybaby in chastity would ever complain about their Domme’s lack of time or effort, once loyalty has been established. We are so flabbergasted that you have accepted us, and actively encourage our kinky fetishes; we are over the moon already! Oh, you don’t have time and I’ll simply have to wait until next week locked away and diapered? You have too many things to take care of in ‘real’ life, so you task your sissymaid with a list of chores & errands? This is pure heaven to your submissive slave!!! The true Goddess learns to push away the programmed female inclination to look after others, and adjusts to the pleasures Her sissy slave provides. – Ok, back to our timeline…


So my fears evaporated instantly, as Her words sunk in. Let me see here, Nanny is telling me Her only negatives are that She doesn’t have enough time to spend with alexa, and that she wishes She could contribute more to our FLR. She is beginning to accept that sissies live to serve their Goddess, which I reinforced; again. I told her that her leisure time would increase steadily in the future, and that I’m ecstatic in our dynamic, no matter what. We agreed that tonight was a celebration, and She readily put these (ridiculously silly from a sissy’s point of view!!!) concerns aside.


Reignited, we moved over to the sofa to unwrap Her Anniversary gifts. As Director of the evening’s theme, I wasn’t totally submissive, and was permitted to play MC up to a point. I asked Nanny to start from the top of the stack and to proceed at Her leisure, but then there would be a pause, before she opened the big pink gift at the bottom. She immediately asked, ‘Why?’ and I explained that alexa would like an assessment option after the first three gifts, to be sure she wasn’t going off on a sissy-fantasy tangent of her own. (Party for one!) Should Nanny feel that things were moving too fast after the first three gifts, I wasn’t about to let Her have a stroke when Her eyes befell the contents of the pink box.


Goddess noticed the white card tucked under the ribbons of Her stack of gifts. It was my little custom ‘Happy Anniversary’ card with one of those ‘Be Calm and Obey your Mistress’ memes. The black background graphic depicts a humble slave kneeling at his Mistress’s feet. I overwrote Nanny on the word Mistress and included my wishes inside. Nanny read the card slowly and then said ‘Right, this is definitely going in Nanny’s journal for safekeeping’. I was so happy to hear this. We always seem to be on the same wavelength, but this was harmonic.


Nanny opened the 3 gifts over the next 20 minutes or so, loving each of them.

After the lingerie and her black domme outfit went down spectacularly, she said

‘ I hope you bought Nanny some books to study.’ I remained straight faced, as she moved onto the blue gift. Inside were the 3 FLR books I described above, and Nanny sat there smiling ear to ear, shaking her head and commenting ‘You really know me well, alexa, I have to say that’ She was clearly enjoying Herself and Her gifts. The music was groovy and both of us felt relaxed and alive. Like I said, it was harmonic.


She continued to praise Her sissy throughout, telling her how impressed She was with the whole evening’s preparations, down to every detail. ‘I’m having a marvelous evening with you, alexa’ She cooed. I asked Her if She liked my theme, and if it was close to what She might imagine. She replied ‘Oh, absolutely. I want to start immediately. I love our dynamic and you seem so happy, lately.’ I told Her I was truly the happiest I’ve been in my life, and She should probably have a look inside the pink box.


Cue suspense music.


I’ll let the picture below speak for itself, rather than describing Nanny’s reaction after seeing the Behind Barz belt. The second speechless wave of the night had Nanny seized up for a few short minutes.


Once She recovered, She asked if it wasn’t going to be too heavy to wear, long-term.

I confessed that I had been breaking it in for two weeks, and had adjusted. She loved the writing on the band with the baby bottle and diaper pin graphics (we have discussed ownership tattoos in the past). Beyond that, little explanation was needed, nor sought. Both Nanny and alexa knew instinctively what the new belt symbolized - A true commitment to our FLR. I made it very clear that Her sissybaby alexa was ready for full chastity. If She was?


She examined the sealed envelope labeled ‘Nanny’ with Princess Stickers and a Butterfly seal on the back. As She gently removed the folded pages of the FLR Contract I had prepared, my heart was pounding faster; my nostrils flared unconsciously. This was the final test. If Nanny smiled and enjoyed this bit of theatre, everything was going to be fine for us. She unfolded the document and quickly saw the word ‘Contract’ on the title page. Her eyes widened. Her lips turned upwards, as she turned the page (I spent a few hours earlier in the day, copying and adapting one of the many contracts found online). In all, there are 8 pages, and my Goddess patiently read through each page, snickering while Her sissymaid scurried about busily, waiting for Her reaction. Well, She loved it, and immediately set about changes. One of my proposed new rules for alexa is that I prepare & deliver dinner to Her door once-a-week. She demanded twice-a-week. ‘Of course, Nanny’ I replied, as I fetched her a pen. She then declared that a review period was required, as She was sure to add further rules. Her changes to our new FLR Contract would be announced at next week’s visit to ‘Sissy Manor’, as it was now referred to in our Contract.


Nanny moved on to the final little silver jewelry box. It contained the keys to my new belt along with the 2 locks, a pink collar with a ‘sissy slave’ pendant, and a necklace with two small pendants - an antique key, and a miniature cock cage.

She had me kneel in front of Her and placed my collar around my neck. In turn, I put on Her Keyholder’s necklace. I know I was elated, having read far more about collaring ceremonies online. Although less informed, it felt as though Nanny understood the significance intuitively.


Within seconds, She said ‘Right, after alexa finishes tidying up the wrapping and we have finished our sushi, she will model her new belt for Nanny, then assist Her with Her seamed stockings & attach the garters. After clearing things from the table, like a well-trained sissymaid does, off I went, floating on a cloud, into the Boudoir to put my belt on. Meanwhile, Goddess was in the bathroom, changing into Her ‘What Katie Said’ lingerie. Now, I’m old enough to know that there’s truly no time like the present, and I stopped to appreciate how grateful I was to have Her and our dynamic. I let it sink in consciously that, from now on, I would likely only have erections and orgasms if Nanny permitted. Divinity, indeed.


She emerged in shiny black latex, looking stunning & confident. She has never worn anything like this before, but I knew She knew She wanted to. She had been turning Her dominant fantasies over in Her mind for some time now. I knew when She directed me to find this outfit; She was ready for Hernext level. She smiled and focused on my belt, touching it and commenting ‘It sits so nicely on you, alexa. I love it! Now get yourself up to The Nursery. I want you undressed and waiting for Nanny in your crib in ten minutes.


To be continued…..