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Orgasms, we don't need no stink'n orgasms

Discussion in 'The Tower' started by Vinny, May 8, 2017.

  1. My wife and I had a serious talk about my orgasms last night during sex and again this afternoon. I know that after my last orgasm which was not due for another 6 months, I was bitchy, argumentative, grouchy, bored and in generally in a bad mood for almost two weeks even still locked up. This has gotten worse over the last few years. From my side it is due to living in a high state of sexual arousal and the energy I get from it being lost. I am living with high sexual energy almost every day of the year and it has become my normal state over the last few years. When it is gone, I feel like a different person. Plus at first I was having problems in getting erect after long term orgasm denial. Now I am having problems feeling like I want to orgasm. My wife can try all she wants but I will not get close to orgasm anymore which negates the pleasure of teasing and edging.

    So we talked. I reminded my wife about how I get after I orgasm and distant we are. We talked about how much I cannot keep my hands off of her and in am constant heat and like men courting women, am on my best behavior. She agreed 100% so I asked her why she allows me to orgasm before she says I will. We were suppose to go 4 months between orgasms but she gave me one only after 2 months. She replied that she did it because I told her that I could not take it anymore. She does love me after all. However we had established a safe word to signal real distress and I have yet to use it.

    After we talked she said that she would like me to have as few orgasms a year as possible. Ideally none since we have not had intercourse from the time she got serious with her girlfriend about 15-20 years ago. After that my penis was something to torture and use to sexually frustrate. She thinks semen is disgusting and the whole ejaculation process not attractive. She does not even find penises or male butts attractive. She prefers the female form. However she is not a lesbian because she does enjoy sex with me, but not other men. She has good orgasms on the few occasions she allows me to perform oral on her, but great toe curling orgasms with her vibrator every time. Once in a while she will have full body cramp orgasms with me but that is not very often.

    The result of our discussion is that she will not let me manipulate her again and my orgasms will now only be when she wants them and since she hates the way I am afterwards, that will not be very often. Xmas and my birthday are 6 months apart so I think that is what she will do. She knows that even though she prefers no orgasm for me and has said so very often, it is not practical since it will give me no hope of an orgasm and therefore not sustain my courtship behavior. I would just get grouchy all the time since there is no rewards in sight.

    As usually I post the truth and the truth is that we do change what we do often because we discuss chastity often and toss out the things that do not work or are not fun for both of us. I also do not make it sound like I am forced and a slave to my wife because she has me locked up, as if that is all it takes to change an alpha man to a beta one. Chastity is our sex life so we still have a good sex life in our mid sixties unlike all of our friends who just have F you sex. That is where they pass each other in a hallway and say F you to each other. :) We do chastity with tease and denial. It is not part of some FLR or BDSM fetish. I was into BDSM for 47 years but not for the last 7. Got too old for that since S&M was our man thing and I do not heal well or withstand pain like I used to. Chastity has the element of feeding my sexual masochism without physical pain and appeals to my sexual submissive side which ends at the bedroom door. We also do not use sex/orgasms as currency in our marriage. I cannot dot get an early release or days added based on what goes on in our marriage although I am sure if I piss my wife off that week I will not be getting an orgasm. I just will not know that.

    So we have entered the final stay of our 4+ year chastity voyage entering into uncharted territory. It will not be that bad since I have ED problems and my new medication makes it very difficult to reach an orgasm anyway. I have been on that medication before until my wife and her girlfriend got tired of riding me all night long. Time will tell.

    Just curious as to how the rest of you decide when it is time for an orgasm and does your wife actually do it when she wants to or rather when she thinks she should?

    That is all over now. She is not going to feel sorry for me after two months of orgasm denial. She has always said if it was up to her I would have no orgasms at all because we never have intercourse and have not had it for two decades or so. She is not a penis fan as she prefers sex with women.
     
  2. Forgot to mention that if I use my safe word, she will hand me the keys and that is the end of chastity play for me. It is said by those who have been into chastity a long time that the best punishment is to threaten to stop being his Keyholder. I happen to agree with that.
     
  3. I would have definitely agreed with that when we first started. If she had felt I was cheating the system or bugging her to be released she would have handed me the keys and said we were done with it.

    I think we both know it would be an idle threat now. She is just as invested if not more than I am at this point.
     
  4. We have quit briefly a few times. This time she seems serious about it since she is getting tired of me annoying and pressuring her to let me orgasm. That is the only thing she hates about key holding. Supposedly she is going to paddle my butt when I annoy her about sex or orgasms. Look at my pic gallery and see her handiwork. It was effective when she last punished me but then she said that she did not like hurting me. I got her a light paddle that will not bruise me but still stings and she seems to like that one and not afraid to use it. As you know, in real life things can change from week to week since there is no script or rulebook to follow. The last time she handed me the keys back it took me 2 1/2 months to convince her to start chastity again but I had to go from 8-10 orgasms a year to 3-4. I will probably get 4 this year since she gave me one on New Year's Day instead of xmas last year. Time will tell.
     
  5. A few days ago my wife said "After 10 years of orgasm denial we are at the point where you can go without orgasms indefinitely. And I'm not sure you want to anyway." She does however think I should have a few maintenance orgasms during the year and will decide on between 1 and 6 and when they will happen. I have no idea as to how she will choose the dates.
     
  6. As you know my wife and I are still very new to this. We started in February in earnest and each orgasm denial period has been longer than the past. We just went 46 days between real orgasms, although there were ruined ones in-between. During one of our early conversations she asked me about how long she should go before letting me orgasm. I told her that I wanted the decision to be hers and hers alone, but offered this advice. 1) It is a let down after an orgasm. Love the orgasm, but hate the post orgasm blues. 2) The longer she goes, the more attentive and worshipful I become. 3) Don't worry about being mean, worry about being strong. At the time it had been a week since my last ruined orgasm and three weeks since my last real one. I told her that I thought she had been far to generous for the month of April already. As a result she decided on May. Because of my post orgasm blues and surliness I was giving her grief this last Monday and she said "keep that up and you won't cum until July." We'll see how the rest of the year goes and whether time between grows, shrinks or levels off. Main thing is I want it to be her decision.
     
  7. We started towards about the same time in February of this year. Bounced around with several devices trying to find the right fit. Found a Chinese device that is quite comfortable all during the day with minor slippage. Problem at night erections of course the last couple weeks, but hopefully that gets better.

    However, back to the subject started by op I honestly can go weeks without orgasms and doesn't seem to affect me. However my wife, key holder, doesn't tease me much. And when she does she usually wants to let me out bc she likes to have me cum. Kind of frustrating in a way. I would love it if she would either let me fuck her to the point before I orgasm and then finish her with a toy or my tongue rather than always cum. I think I could go months without actually orgasming if she didn't let me. I want more to have her orgasm than me as much as it would probably drive me crazy. Longest we have gone since chastity is about 2 weeks.

    The other night was the first night she had me bend over the bed and she fingered my ass and I think started to use a toy. While it was a little uncomfortable, it was very hot, as that was one of the first times in a while I was hers to do with what she wants. She said she enjoyed it more than she thought she would so hoping she gets more authoritative again like that.

    I think she is being far too generous and maybe I need to work her up in the mood more so she will tease me more and keep me locked up.
     
    boisub likes this.