On your mark. Get Set. Go.

I can't even begin to tell you @biosub and @CagedAnimal2 how much your support has meant I am looking at a few cheap starter devices. I have concerns about metal being heavy, but I might only be wearing it during the day. I like the Amazon option since we have prime so items ship fast. I like the plastic CBx knock offs as you said CagedAnimal2 and I also like the resin Holy Trainer knock offs. They are cheaper on Ebay than Amazon. I was thinking that a metal cage model would be easier to keep clean in though. When soft, I am a solid 3 inches long and 1.75 wide so I hesitate to pursue a "S" model. I just have to be ready for her to say yes, but also prepared for her to say no.

All of the support I have gotten from everyone here has been great.

 

After talking with my wife the other day (really just spelled it all out, and said it plainly that I want a chastity device for my birthday) I decided not to talk with her for a few days about the subject. A day and a half to be exact... I know that's not much time to let things set in for her, but I had a revelation that made everything make more sense.

I crushed it today! We have a huge event happening this weekend and there is a lot of planning to do. I still have responsibilities at my home, and right now the leaves are a daily maintenance issue. I can get three 45 gallon (170 Litre) Bags of leaves in one day during this time of the year.

Anyway I got all of my indoor prep done and went outside to get the leaves cleaned up for my whole stretch of the road. I was working so hard to get them all up and had just finished when a nice lady came walking by with her dogs. She said, "You know, you really deserve a pat on the back. Other neighbors don't clean up their leaves and they just blow around into our space, but you seem to take care of it no matter what."

I thought for a moment about someone else's post, maybe it was on another site where he treats all women with a higher regard and authority. I decided that I would wanted to overly express my thanks to make her feel special, so I said, "I am so thankful for you and your opinion. You and your words are appreciated so very much. I'm touched that you took the time to let me know how you feel."

This made me think of the Cognitive Behavior Therapy described by Skinner, and the positive reinforcement.

Instantly I realized that I needed to tell my wife that I want a chastity device for the wrong reason. My intention was to not converse with her throughout the weekend, and possibly onto next week about the subject...

I came inside. Luckily the kids just went outside to mess around. We had the whole house to ourselves. I said, "Babe, I didn't want to talk about this the chastity device for my birthday, because I just brought it up."

She was rolling her eyes at me...

I said, "But I was outside and I was thinking about this Cognitive Behavior Therapy and I had a huge realization.... I don't want a chastity device... Well, I do, but not for the reasons that you might think, and certainly not for the reasons that I thought I did."

Now she was hooked. Instantly her attention was focused like a laser beam and her look of, "I really don't want to talk about this." was replaced with, "Tell me more."

I explained that "The chastity device is a physical object that deters erection and stops orgasm. Once applied all choice is removed, and therefore my reactions become the Pavlov model.... Classical conditioning. I loose my erection because there is a device. I don't "O" because there is a device. It has absolutely nothing to do with how I behave. That is not what I want. I don't want a chastity device as a lifestyle change."

I continued, "All of the things that I am doing; the "O" Schedule, the punishment of sleeping under separate sheets if I'm bad, the asking permission to touch you, these are all conditional and Skinner theory... Operant conditioning. This is my behavior being rewarded or punished based on my performance... My behavior and your reaction are my desired affect of this whole request."

She looked at me kind of funny.

I said. "I don't want a chastity device because I would like to wear a chastity device. I mean I do, but I want it to be a reward or a punishment, not as a lifestyle change." I looked at her and took a sigh of relief. "The lifestyle change is the FLR, and that means that you are what turns me on. The idea of the chastity device is a fun tool that we can use in this process... I was really getting kind of stressed about this, and I'm glad that I realized what I really want."

She looked at me and said, "Good, I was getting stressed too, but this makes me feel a lot better."

Then she said, "That reminds me, my sister asked me what to get you for your birthday."

I got a stupid grin on my face and said, "Did you tell her a chastity device?"

She laughed really hard, and said, "No! She wants to watch the kids so we can spend some time together."

Now this is really great, because we are openly discussing, joking, and it is reminding her of related conversations without causing her to shut down. I'm pretty excited about the future right now.

 

Thanks for you so much for sharing @boisub . I'm super excited for you and your wife. I find it so very interesting that this journey has made me open my eyes and analyze my own desires. Like most people in the world I thought all of this was amazing for its surface value. I thought I liked the idea of chastity for what it is. I have opened my wife's eyes to a more fulfilling lifestyle in FLR and then realized that what I really want is more of the power exchange. I want more Positive/Negative Reward/Punishment. It is the psychology behind the idea of chastity that I actually crave.

I actually told her that if she believes that I want the chastity device she could reward me by making me wear it if I was performing to her approval, or remove it If I'm not performing. She said that there are things I have been asking to be punished with that I want, so giving them to me as punishment would not be achieving my goals.

She is so great!

 

Frustrating day yesterday. Wife woke up and said she needed her car cleaned... It's a weekday... In the morning... I was like, "No problem." and got to it.

Wiped vacuumed and washed her car as fast as I could so that she could get to work. I said, "I hope this earned me giving you one of those nice back rubs and massages with your pants down."

She said, "Hmm. That would be nice, but I was thinking we could do a little bit more. I'm in the mood." I reminded her that I'm not scheduled until late march for an "O" so no pressure. She says, "Yeah, but my body is telling me it's time, even though my head's not in it."

My head was instantly swimming. I wen't inside and cleaned as much as I could as quick as I could.

That afternoon she calls me to say she's coming home early. Headache keeps getting worse. I was out doing things so I asked if there was anything I could do. She said no.

That evening, All cleaned up after a shower, shaved nice and smooth. I head to the bedroom where she is watching TV. I ask, "How's your headache?" She says, "It's all gone." She says, "I know your birthday is coming up, but it's on a weekday... Sorry"

I said, "No biggie, I planned for it in my schedule." Now I want to see if I can get her relaxed, because earlier she said she was in the mood. "Can I rub your feet, back, hip, but?" Anything you want, I'll do it." She says, "No, not right now."

I watch TV with her for a while. Super bored. She was laying opposite direction as me (head at foot board) and I've got my hand on her calves. I don't really like TV although I think "The Mick" is freaking hilarious. The physical comedy in that show is next level.

She says, "Hey you want to rub my feet?"

I'm like, "Heck yeah!" but for some reason I wasn't really into it. I think it's because she didn't really care if I did or not. She was just giving me something to do.

A couple of shows later (1.5 hrs) and she says, "Geez, is it 11 already. Time for bed." as she climbs under the covers with me.

I of course put on a smile. At this point I know sex is off the table, but I worked so hard for her, and she said stuff. So I asked, Can I snuggle with you a little before we go to sleep? I wanted to at least feel her skin on my face.

She said, "No not tonight, my tummy doesn't feel good."

So, up to this point I have gone without orgasm for 12 days. I know we have been busy, but she isn't exactly rubbing all over me, and she won't touch my penis...

Arrgh. Why won't she even play the game! It's times like these that I start to think all of this is dumb and a waste of time and it's not fun.

She did call this morning and tell me that we will be kid free this weekend for one night. If I plan a night out, I can have it. We can spend a night at the beach or whatever I want. I know that would put me at 15 days with no "O"... I guess that's doable.

I just don't like it when she says one thing then does another and I don't think she knows how much physical attention means to me. It's not like I'm asking her daily for a hand tease job or something. I'm giving her lots of space/time/whatever she wants and not really getting much in return. Very frustrated right now. Not the good kind that makes me want to be a better partner.

 

Maybe it's the hormones, but now I feel like an idiot. I'm going to tell my wife that I was grumpy all day because I barely got to touch her. Then, I was making the bed and I thought, "If this is truly Female Led" then I need to respect that she wasn't in the mood, but since we are in a relationship and I value my happiness it is my responsibility to advise her that I would have felt better about her changing her mind about sex and even being touched after I worked so hard for her if she would have acknowledged my position on the subject.

Who would it hurt to throw a tease into it for me?

Something like, "Honey, I know I talked about sex earlier, and you worked very hard and even reminded me that you wanted to give me a back rub, but this is a female led relationship and you aren't going to do that tonight because I said so."

I want her to take the reigns a little. I mean if I'm not going to get what I want in the way of physical intimacy I want mental kink or something...

I get it. She's not in the mood, but I'm in the mood for something. Watching TV and saying I'm tired is zero effort. My competition is an inanimate object. Not cool.

 

Thanks @boisub for your kind words. Last night after I wrote all of my last post my wife came home to a nice, clean house, with the bed made, kids in bed, delicious food prepared, and we soon ended up in the bedroom ready to relax and unwind together. I told her that I started out really upset yesterday that she had changed her mind about what she wanted to do the night before, and worked hard during the day to keep my mind off of everything. Then when I got to the bedroom I had my revelation and realized that I was proud of her for doing what made her comfortable. I said that It would have been much easier for me to understand how she felt if she could have vocalized her reasoning and reminded me that these are the roles that we are playing.

She got pretty upset at me and said that there is so much going on right now that she doesn't know how to fit in doing more. She continued that we have 20 years of "every time I touch her means I want sex" so she's just not used to this and doesn't trust that I won't get angry if we don't have sex.

I told her that we will never move forward in this if I'm the only one who is willing to accept change. She reminded me that we have come a long way in two months. I told her that if we have too much going on that we can take a break from it. She said that there are so many things that she really enjoys about the changes that we have made.

I told her that if it is too much and I gave her some suggestions as to how to deal with me. Simple. Don't ignore that I need attention. Talk to me. Support me in what you want my goals to be. Communicate your needs. Listen to my needs. Communicate.

 

Best night ever! My wife came home late, dinner ready, everything peaceful, but she still had work to do. Her piece of the work depended on other people so she was just lying in bed watching TV checking for updates on the computer. She asked if I would rub her back while she sat up. I, of course, said yes. we did this for a while then she said her hip hurts and asked if I would help her stretch. I of course said yes. Then she said she wanted me to rub her back and hip and laid down with her head to the foot of the bed. I of course said yes. Now her underwear is removed and I'm rubbing her naked body!

It's like she listened to everything I said!

I asked If she enjoyed it, she said, "What's not to enjoy, of course I did."

I said, "This is all I have been asking for, and I would like to do it more often."

She smiled and said, "I would like that a lot."

Best day ever.

 

Thursday my wife tells me on the phone, I have a surprise for you, but I need your help to pick out the right thing online. My mind was whirling. I had told her a week ago that I wanted a chastity device for my birthday. Was this going to be it?

I needed to play this cool and not bug her about it and do all of the work so this happens as smoothly as possible. I started searching eBay and surprisingly Amazon. Oooh, I was excited. I had it nailed down to a couple of Chinese options to keep costs down on this first device... Maybe I could get two because the price is so low! There is a Chinese Holy Trainer knock off on eBay that is easily found by searching resin chastity. I would like this one because of it's light weight and I can try all of the rings to get a good fit. The metal one I would like can be found on either Amazon or eBay by searching 275 chastity. I like the idea of breath-ability associated with the metal cage style, not to mention the knowing that it comes off with the key only.

I was worried about the weight of a metal one so I tried an experiment on Friday. I looked online for the weight of the metal one... 150g. I got out my cooking scale and found items that weighed 150g: a pocket knife and a small metal chuck for a drill. Both were smooth, no rough edges. I found some 1/2" tape and went around behind my scrotum and around my shaft like a base ring on a device. Then I lay the pocket knife on top of my shaft and the chuck below taping them in place while flaccid with only two wraps to simulate a small device. The weight was fantastic. I could tell that my mind was telling me to try to get hard but my penis just hung there in place without changing size.... Mind blown. I spent the whole day like this. I didn't feel the need to adjust or touch myself. I can't describe how liberating it felt.

Woke up Saturday and asked if we could cuddle. It's 16 days since my last "O". I was hoping that there might be an unscheduled "Because it's your birthday romp", so I mentioned it... We were wrapped around each other, warm snuggly when I said, "Hey babe, you know it was just my birthday the other day, and I know that it was during the week so I didn't schedule an "O", and the day after you said something about your body being in the mood but your mind being too busy. I was wondering if you wanted to give me an extra "O" for my birthday since I didn't really get a birthday gift, or you could say, "Your birthday gift is to wait until your next scheduled "O". I would be happy with that too."

In my mind I was thinking that she would love this idea. Maybe we could either have fun as a gift or she might "Play the game" as my gift, since I knew that I wasn't really getting a gift anyway. As soon as the words "you can tell me to wait crossed my lips" I felt a spasm in the muscles around my prostate and the tell tale sign that I was about to have some leakage.

Bad mistake.

She she pointed to herself and said, "If I think that every time we cuddle like this you are going to ask me for sex, then I will stop doing it. When you get sex you'll know it. Besides I'm ready for breakfast."

Ugh... Women... Then I realized this is what I asked for. I mean Ideally she would want me to go down on her or physically please her in some way while I'm frustrated and waiting for my release. I'm starting to realize that the uncertainty is almost more exciting than the goal at the end of the schedule. I do wish I had some way of keeping my hands off of myself though. Without a device I am constantly adjusting myself. or even pressing on my erection because it feels good.

So Sunday finally rolls around and no mention of the online shopping... Did she forget? I have no idea what she's doing. Is she making me wait? I made sure not to bug her about it for days, and I'm prepared so it won't take long when she says "Oh yeah, let's check out some chastity devices." So I figured I better ask before we get into something more important or have to leave the house.

"Hey babe, what about that thing you said you needed my help with online the other day." I ask while washing the dishes.
"Oh yeah, here." she starts digging in her purse. "I got this discount for online planned meal purchase! I thought that you would love this, and you don't even have to shop for the meals. You just pick them out and they show up."

"Great!" I replied, I can't wait to see what kinds of stuff they have. In my head I said, "Do any of these meals come with a chastity device?" But I know that we will get more out of one when she is ready.

So last night I was laying there, after I checked the house. We were lying together, and I asked if I could snuggle and kiss on her while she watched. She agreed. It turned into a lot of hugging and rolling around with each other. It was getting late, but I didn't act like a fool for a change. Our shows were over and she was tired, so I asked if she was ready for bed. She said yes contently and shut down the lamp.

I lay there thinking about how erotic that was. Loving, touching, kissing, knowing that I would have to wait... Possibly 3 more weeks until my next "O". Ugh.. I'm so damn horny. Thinking of her, having the choice and saying no, then cuddling, then saying no. How the hell is she holding off? I mean I have even told her that I will please her without release... She doesn't even want that? I'm having a hard time wrapping my head around all of this.

I'm happy, but confused. Is she giving me my schedule? Is she just not in the mood? Is she saying no to test me? Why would she not want sex? And why would she not want me to use a device? I don't want to bring it up to her for a while because, even though I'm not bringing it up every time, she knows my position on this subject so repeating it seems belittling to her. I do wish that she suggested it. That would mean that she wants it, or is at least thinking about it. The problem is that she doesn't currently have a need for it. So how do I make her needs = my needs without topping from the bottom? Hmmm...

 

Thanks for all of the kind words @boisub, I agree that I need to put informative material in front of her which would make her more confident in her role. The only problem is that the demand for her mental bandwidth at work is so high that the last time I mentioned the book she said that there is no way that she is reading a book to learn anything right now. I did mention that I could read one to her. She said maybe, but I have to figure out when we would fit it all in. Most nights lately she isn't home until after dinner has been served. That doesn't leave much time for books. I can read books and materials and give her the cliff notes version but she has to be in the mood for that.

I am quite interested in the Georgia Ivey Green series. The last time I mentioned giving her more information when I was acting like a damned fool about a week ago. I said that, "I feel like I'm the only one of us putting any effort into this new style of relationship and that she wasn't doing anything but receiving my efforts and didn't reciprocate or even allow me to touch her any more." She got angry, but my words really sunk in and this weekend was the beginning of a lot of snuggling. In fact we cut our snuggling short last night because she said she was tired and wanted to go to sleep. Today she texted me that she wished that she had done a lot more snuggling last night... Not for me, but for her. That's the place I wanted her mind to go. I'm super happy right now.

We are playing an online puzzle game (realMyst it's Myst from the old days ported to android) together. Last night, I bet her a juicy kiss that I could solve a puzzle where I had to memorize a tone on a piano keyboard and then move my character, then replicate the tone by raising a lever. The higher the lever the higher the tone. You lift the lever until your tone matches. I had to do this five times to win and advance in the puzzle game. I did it on my first try. Then I got a big smile and a soft, open lip, no tongue, holding back for some reason, but all the passion was there, happy kiss. It was great! Look, I don't play the piano, and I certainly don't know much about music tonality or keys and notes. I'm just saying It was my best effort but it wasn't her best effort. I wonder why she is holding back... Now she regrets not doing more as she said in the text... I think she's starting to feel some of the intimacy returning, but realizing her missed opportunity to enjoy our relationship and herself when it's too late.

I'm super excited for tonight. I know that her hip has been hurting, I have been studying back massage, and now lower back massage. Lots of YouTube videos. I think Piriformis syndrome, which is an injured muscle between the lower back and hip. Super excited because I want to feel like I am making a difference!

 

Excellent evening. Got lots done today. Wife came home happy. Dinner prepared. Mexican night. Delicious. Everything is fresh. She had to step out for a conference at our kids school. I had all of the dishes and cookware cleaned up. She is now ready to do some summer planning with me. With that finished it was time to settle down and watch TV. Our bedroom has become snuggle central. Excellent.

Oh wait, I watched a few videos today about her hip problem. Lots of help with the stretching. Beautiful. More snuggling.

I tell her, "I have something I have to tell you. Today I did something." She looks at me and says, I knew there had to be something. I said, "Well, it wasn't what you are thinking. I made a kind of simulation device. I checked the weight of the type of device I was considering. I used tape to and some items from around the house to replicate the weight. Something about the way it kept everything in place kept me from becoming stimulated all day. It was nice. I was able to get so much more stuff done around here without worrying about my.. myself.

She said, "So you used tape? That must have been something coming off. When did you take it off?"

I replied, "I took it off early this afternoon. You know that I have been keeping things pretty trim, so the tape really wasn't an issue. I mean it was a little, but not bad. It was nice to be able to be focused for a change"

She smiled and said, "What about the lock, does it have to be locked on? I don't think you are very good with keys. Can you just use tape?"

I was thinking she is so cute.

I said, "Well, it probably will have to be locked on. I can keep one key in the safe so I always know where one is."

She said, "I'm still not sure about how safe this is."

I didn't want to push it any more and suggest a plastic device. I knew that she was getting tired and I didn't want to push my luck. I'll save that conversation for another time.

it was time for bed.

Super excited, real progress.

 

@boisub Great Idea on the key ring instead of a lock. I'm going to wait a good long time before I bring it up again, but that might work. I also will mention a plastic device with a regular lock. I could use tools to destroy any metal/plastic locked or unlocked device if I really needed to get out, so there is no real threat. Perhaps I could let her know that too. I mean, in the end, all of this is symbolic. The real trip is all in our minds. Right?

@Jasmic68 I agree. I still have a place inside of me that gets upset when she says no. Not about sex, about things in general. She's in a different place than me mentally. I have to get my head to her place. The problem is the physical urgency I feel as my prostate fills and the only thing stopping me is me... I don't trust me very much about this subject. She says "We've been together for 20 years,... We have been doing this for two months. It's ok if it doesn't happen over night." To which I reply (in my head) I've been masturbating a lot longer than that pretty much daily, and I'm making the change because it's important to me. So why isn't it as important to her if we are truly partners?

I guess the real trouble is, I read other people's journals, writing, replies, and I am somewhat jealous. Many people here are already to a place where their partners enjoy sexual attention and playing the game. I do want her to want to be touched and enjoy intimacy and sexual attention. She has spent so many years pushing it away, that I don't think she realizes how nice it is. It has been great cuddling more lately. But I have waited two months for it. Seems like a no brainer to me. Two people love each other, they cuddle.

@LadyS First off I love your new avatar.. What am I saying, I love all of your avatars. I definitely agree. I have been selfish. I have set forth with a plan to make my wife do something. It's my fault that a FLR has definitely changed our relationship. People on another forum site (shemakestherules.com) said I shouldn't have even introduced the idea to her and that I should have just started doing everything her way and see if she noticed. I didn't go with that plan. According to my wife my plan has three tiers:
1. Stop masturbating
2. Female Led Relationship
3. Better relationship/more intimacy

From the beginning she said that she could definitely see how they all connect together, but had a hard time with how to do it. She has also stated out loud to me that she wants to put no effort into learning how to do it. She said that I have to tell her everything, and yet she wants to talk about nothing. So our beginnings are much different from yours, in that you were interested from the beginning and actively engaged in this lifestyle with you husband. For me there is only myself stopping me from masturbating. There is no tease and denial. There is no weekend play that you mentioned. It's just me trying my best to make her smile as often as I can and not touch myself. I'm not asking for unreasonable things for her to do to me, or asking for her to let me do unreasonable things to her (except take her pants down to rub her hip = Naked butt = Wohoo). I'm just asking to touch her more and give me a way to make sure that I don't touch myself during the day. I could just buy one and wear it during the day, but I'm definitely trying to respect her opinion and create the feeling of authority within her. That being said, she gets to hear how hard it is for me to control myself when I don't have a device. That has got to be annoying.

By the way, as you mentioned (I totally agree), I would rather not give her something to read. I can only guess what is in the books, and it can't be good for me. After all it's probably just going to say give him what he's asking for and a lot more until he breaks and enjoy him doing everything for you. I mean, the book is supposed to tell her that she's the boss and I've asked for it so give it to me right? That's even scarier than giving her my thoughts and wondering if she will do them. At least I'm in control of what she knows that way. I don't know what Georgia Ivey Green will tell her to do to me! I am curious though, and that has to count for something.

I am definitely going to be letting go over the next few weeks. We have pretty heavily scheduled plans, so we will be very active and unavailable to each other. As for relaxing, I have decided that the uncertainty is almost more erotic than knowing when I will be able to have release. I mean did you see how excited I got when I thought I was going to get a device. The emotional roller coaster when I found out I wasn't was kind of fun. I just told myself in my head that she did that on purpose. Even though I know that she never intended to get me a device. Sometimes I just wish that she was playing the game with me, that's all. As you said, I need to put more effort into enjoying this for what it is right now though.

So this next part is not a reply to anyone. It's just me

We both should be working to make each other happy. A relationship is work. It should be. I wish that it was so easy to just let it all go and make her happy, but I have a physical reminder between my legs, practically buzzing, telling me to distract myself. I have a prostate that seems to make me fell like a caged tiger pacing looking for escape after about two weeks. It seems like a simple choice (now that I have done some experimentation), to make a small purchase and she gets an even better man. I can't tell her that though. She should want me to have a device if this piece of our relationship is going to be done correctly. I wish that she wanted to play with me. After all this is just a game. It is our love that is real. All of this could go away tomorrow and I wouldn't love her any less.

I do appreciate all of your feedback. Your experience is invaluable to me. I respect you all so very much. I appreciate your kindness and support @boisub , your experience @Jasmic68 , and certainly your strong feminine opinion and strength @LadyS . I'm so glad to know you all. Your support and advice are a big part of why this experience so great for me.

 

Everyone here seems to be wrapping it all up with a nice big bow... Thanks @boisub

 

Beautifully put @Jasmic68

 

Vacation, relaxation, communication, progress. We spent a week in the mountains. It snowed four inches one night. The warm insides of the cabin were both a blessing and a prison to us forcing us in the evening to communicate. But first lets back up a bit.

My wife and I planned a trip to the mountains of North Carolina. Two weeks prior she asked me to do the majority of the planning. I didn’t do the job to her level of expectation; however, I did discover that almost every activity that she wanted to me to look into was closed. So we were just going to have to enjoy the property that we were staying at and the great outdoors. I found several parks and restaurants that would be open along with scenic routes we could drive to and waterfalls. I prefer that anyway. I looked into a handful of local places to visit, but realized that we just needed to spend some time with nothing to do but listen to birds and look at trees. We needed to build bon fires and compare fallen leaves. Not spend money at expensive places where you stand in lines with other sheeple.

The main question on my mind: Would we be having sex? It had been over three weeks, she had a super heavy work schedule leading up to this so sex has been out of the question. Her period would be coming but she hadn’t checked the start date. I told her that I was pretty sure it was that week. She didn’t think so. By the way I downloaded the app to track her period. There are a ton of free ones out there. I checked it and what do you know, we left for vacation on Friday, arriving on Saturday, Sunday to relax and BooM, her period starts on Monday. That left one day for her to get in the mood (Sunday) if it was going to happen at all.

The stress of planning and working really had her upset. You see, every day leading up to the trip the weather was changing on accuweather.com. First one day was severely cold (28 degrees F) next two days were cold. First no snow was forecast, then one inch of snow on one day, and after arrival another possibility of snow. I loved it, but she was freaking out.

We were going to be fine. We were in a cabin in the woods with gas fireplace heaters and central air. I have a 4 wheel drive truck so we won’t be getting stuck. We bought food for days. We had clothes. As far as I was concerned we were well prepared.

Just so you know, when outside forces are freaking a woman out it is NOT the best time to ask a woman if she is in the mood. In fact if you are with a woman who is facing a lot of decisions concerning planning for “weather” unknowns, don’t bring up sex, or mention taking off each other’s clothes to keep each other warm during a blizzard as a way to initiate sex. It might work in the movies, but not in real life. Apparently, as fun sounding or funny as it may be, this stresses them out even more.

I am no scientist, or explorer, but I do feel like I discovered this on my own and deserve some kind of award.

Sunday morning I got up and started to make breakfast to find that browned grass and leafless trees were now covered in 4 inches of snow.

It was a super fun day. We cooked delicious food, played in the snow, and replanned our schedule of outdoor events around the weather in the flow of a fire.

I didn’t bother her about sex until Sunday night. I was strutting around the place in my underwear trying to look sexy, but as excited as I was, our vacation plan was weighing heavily on her mind.

We had a small argument/discussion, to which she said that she wanted me to just go masturbate… Very disappointing. To which I replied that I didn’t want to and it was her last chance before her period. I told her that we should put the masturbation schedule aside when we are so busy but I was trying my best to honor it and that I wasn’t sure how she was holding off for so long. So we both went to sleep disappointed.

I awoke Sunday morning very sexually aroused but she was dead asleep. I decided to masturbate anyway. Hey, no device, and she told me to the day before, so I did it.

She wasn’t happy about it because I told her I wasn’t going to and I didn’t ask her before I did. I told her that I didn’t want to wake her and it was for the best since it was interfering with our vacation. She said that she wanted me to finish writing our guidelines. I was instantly turned on. She was basically (without using so many words) telling me that she wants the rules so that she can start finally playing the game. I told her that I would do it, but I would like to include the use of a device in the contract because I had just proven to myself that I can’t keep my hands off of my penis when I’m left to my own devices. She simply said, make the contract so that I can see what we are doing.

The rest of the vacation was great. Some of it was “As scheduled” but some of it was off the cuff. We were going to drive an hour away to stand in line and pay for sledding, but instead bought a cheap sled, drove up to a national forest, and sledded down old logging roads for free all day long. It was so much fun. We visited nearby towns, saw waterfalls, and explored local tourist shops in nearby towns.

We arrived back home a week later on the following Saturday. What a great trip. I woke up Sunday morning before everyone and started typing up a sort of guide/contract. I don’t think that we need anything too formal or structured. From what I have read on here from the people who seem to have done this for a while, the less there is to your rule book, the better. Apparently if the rules become too complicated they become the focus instead of each other and we will be constantly referring to our guide to see what to do for every circumstance.

So I wrote something and climbed back in bed just before she awoke. She asked what I was up to. I told her that I was working on our guide. She perked up. I told her that there were some areas that I wasn’t sure about. For example; do I put my “O” schedule on the contract and how often? How do I define discipline if I break the rules? She didn’t like discussing discipline in the past. Do I include a device in the contract? I told her that I would prefer it since I don’t trust myself during the day.

She replied very bluntly and with a matter of fact look on her face, “I want your schedule on the contract. It’s every two weeks. I want discipline on the contract, if you break the rules you sleep under separate sheets and you can’t touch me. And you obviously want a device but I don’t want to be involved in its use. You can get one.” She got a big smile on her face and continued “Now that we have handled all of that, I would like my breakfast. Please make me chocolate chip pancakes.”

My heart lept. There was more discussion about the device use. I of course told her that it’s a tool and a toy for us to play with. At that moment she wanted nothing to do with it. She did have questions and concerns though but said, “I don’t feel like discussing them with you right now. But I do want to know more about what you want to get.” I told her that there were metal ones and plastic ones. I told her that the metal ones were less likely to break and appeared to me to be more hygienic but may be heavy, and the plastic ones come with more options for sizing, but appear less breathable.

That morning after breakfast I ordered a device that can be found on eBay as A275-1 chastity, or also found as the arc for $18.99 with free shipping.

I did not change any of our billing or email info so she got an email while I was out. She said, “Hey, I know that I said that I didn’t want to be involved in you getting a thing, but I just got an email with a picture of what you ordered, and I have some questions.” We discussed the material, the weight, the size, how it would work on an active person, bicycle riding, and she was most concerned that I would have a hard time wearing it with pants. I reminded her that I wear cargo shorts most of the time, and reminded her that it has keys and that it could be removed. There was the obvious conversation about discretion. I also mentioned to her that the prices of these have dropped dramatically since people are buying them from China for $12 and reselling them on eBay for $18. I told her that an American made model would cost $150 and that these seem to get good reviews.

We made love last night. It was a great writhing sloppy mess of pleasure.

So I guess that’s it. Now, like others have mentioned on CM before me, I have finally done it. My wife has agreed that I can have a chastity device. She has shown some interest in it with regards to our lifestyle. From here, I don’t know we go next. The great adventure continues.

 

Thanks, @boisub I hope I like (or hope I'm frustrated by) the device too. Now that US people are ordering from China and reselling on ebay I will know in about two days.

Great advice @PouchPantyLover as soon as she starts asking about seeing the device I'll move into getting her involved in some way. Over time I'm sure that we will eventually be playing together.

Thanks @CagedAnimal2 It's been a long slow road, but it's interesting and we are working together to see where it goes.

Deep sigh, @Jasmic68 sounds like your wife and my wife have a lot of common sense in common. I'm just glad I got the blessing to get a device. Of course I could have gotten one one my own, but then what fun would that have been. If she's not involved then it's not the experience I want.

I have gotten so much support and information from the posts on this site, the journals, the advice, the support. You all are what make this interesting and possible.

Thanks

 

I think I'm going to make this my last entry in this thread. I achieved my goal. Chastity and FLR are normalized conversation items in my relationship with my wife. She doesn't want to be involved with the device at this time, but agreed that I could purchase and use one. I wear it daily now from 8-2 with no issues as long as I don't get an erection. Even if I do get an erection, they are minimized by the device and less noticeable. My wife has really been enjoying the attention lately, and has embraced parts of our FLR in ways that I could have only hoped.

The other day I told her that I was thinking about growing a beard. She said, "Shave it off." I said, " What? Why?" She said, "Because I said so." I took a shower and had it off in less than 15 minutes.

I am writing a review in the Chinese Devices thread in "The Mall" if you want to know more about the a275-1 Arc model. I'm going as heavily detailed as I can in my writing.

So It's probably time to explore other peoples ideas on this site now. This was a lot of fun. I met great, kind, helpful people and achieved my goal.

Until my next thread... Have an awesome day... or night!