On your mark. Get Set. Go.

Discussion in 'Journals and blogs' started by Mactastic, Dec 23, 2016.

?

Do you think I will make it without a device?

Poll closed Feb 23, 2017.
  1. Yes

    17.0%
  2. No

    83.0%
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  1. Mactastic
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    Mactastic Long term member

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    This is a partial recap and rewrite of my previous entry. Followed by an update.

    We had three amazing days of sex after our trip. I brought her to "O" manually then she wanted me in her. First off I was completely hard when getting her off, but when it was my turn I had a difficult time having an erection. I almost felt like I would rather not, and that her pleasure meant so much more to me than mine. My first orgasm was different than I had ever felt before. It was sharp, almost painful then just a ton of ejaculate with much less sensation than I was used to.

    That afternoon I told her that I had a request. I started by saying that I was concerned that I wasn't getting erect. I told her that maybe tonight we could try again, but not to allow me to enter her or orgasm. I said maybe we should wait a few days or until the weekend to try again so that we wouldn't be concerned about my erection. She agreed.

    The day proceeded as usual and then the evening. She was still in a lot of pain from an accident on our trip so I told her that we didn't have to do anything that night. I told her that my goal was her happiness. She agreed, and turned off the lights. Just as I started to doze off, she ran her hand under my shirt and started stroking my chest hair. Before I know it she is rubbing her hand on my member getting me semi hard, but all I can think about is going down on her for her pleasure.

    She had me pinch her nipples much harder than I am used to... Is she secretly wanting pain for pleasure? Then I moved my hands down and manually gave her an "O". She half screamed oh my god as she came! She shoved my hands down from her clitoris down into her vagina simulating penetration for two or three minutes. It was so hot.

    We were laying there afterward snuggling. I told her how it's strange that was the best sex we have had in 20 years and I didn't even get to cum. Funny. I couldn't have been happier.

    The next day she rolled down her window before she drove off to work. She said, "I'm sorry I messed up your plan with more sex than you were supposed to have, and that you have to wait a few more days.

    I told her that I had already forgotten and that she wouldn't have time or be in the mood because of her work load at the beginning of the month. She said maybe this weekend? I reminded her that I have an event this weekend and I won't be around. She said that one of her projects failed so next week is probably shot too. I told her that's why I planned for mid February. I told her that her needs trump my plan so if she wants me sooner that is fine. If she wants me to wait tell me and I will.

    She smiled and drove off. Then she called me on the way to work. Her new found confidence is spilling over into her work life. She has always talked about going back to college. Now she wants to begin this year. I'm super excited for her.

    I had a hard time writing my last post without rubbing myself over the top of my pants. When she came home I told her. She looked very stern and said. I don't want you doing that. Would you be able to do that with one of those devices on? I said, "No." She said what would it feel like if you did? I said, I don’t know, probably like trying to stimulate you hand by rubbing your elbow.

    So the milestone moment here is that she is starting conversation on the subject of the device. This is huge considering how vanilla she has been throughout our relationship.
     
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  2. Mactastic
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    Mactastic Long term member

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    This has been a tough week. Me wanting her. She's not available. I'm all kinds of turned on. She's focused on work. I'm barely allowed to give her the foot rubs and back rubs that I want for her. I'm definitely not allowed to snuggle as she only has two choices right now 1.Stay focused on work or 2. Clear her mind and think of nothing.

    By snuggle I mean just that. I want to pay attention to her, rub our bodies together and hold each other. That's all.

    If she starts thinking about me at work she's hosed though so I have to be careful.

    This is a hard week. I have all of this energy for giving attention that I have to keep to myself.

    Last night she came home from work at 11, I helped her get her things into the house. She checked online to see how work was going, for a while, then asked if I wanted to watch some TV with her. I said Yes, but only if I could rub her feet. She said I could but I had to sit in my regular sitting spot so that we could watch together instead of having my back to the TV where I focus on her feet.

    This was frustrating because I felt like I was cheating her out of a good foot rub the whole time by giving her only half of my attention.

    Eventually I climbed back behind her to give her a good back rub. Then she laid back and let me hold her for a little while. I wasn't going to risk moving my hands all over her body. Eventually she told me I had to go sleep in the other room so she could continue working. I got up and left as she directed. But didn't go straight to bed. I went online to read more about FLR and chastity. I went to the Kinkyconsumer website where I followed a link to A Womans Guide to Chastity. Essentially he says, none of this is real. If a woman agrees to participate in chastity she is basically doing what the man says.

    This is the opposite of the ideals I'm trying to implement, but it really got me thinking. Am I making her do something she might not be comfortable with?

    I quote: "The bottom line is that acting out the male chastity fantasy is something you do for him. It is unlikely that any reward will match the work you have to do to sustain his wish to be chaste."

    No. No. No. This isn't what's happening. I'm trying to be a better person. I'm trying something new to stop my problem and have given her the opportunity to opt in or opt out.

    The funny thing is that when we first started discussing me doing all of this, she asked me, "Why are you going to stop masturbating?" To which I answered, "I believe it has become a problem for me and I want to improve myself, therefore improving my relationship with you, and becoming a better family member." Along the way I will need to fill her in on my fantasies I generated while deceitfully looking at porn on the internet for the last 20 years, but she may find interest in them and therefore me. If she doesn't that's OK. When she asked if she would have to do a bunch of stuff I said no. Just enjoy the attention. Tell me not do what you don't want done and I will never bring it up again.

    On the same Kinkyconsumer page he has a great real couple video where they are involved in a chastity release session. To see more of them search Mr MK chastity or go to xhamster and Mr MK. Their username is monogomouskink. this couple is great. I wish there was more content like this on the web. Real relationship with chastity and release. Real relationship tease and denial, no rehearsed scripts, just people doing their thing.

    When I got off of the computer she told me that I lied to her about going to bed and asked me if I had been good on my computer. I said I was good.

    Today Has been very tough. I'm super sensitive, and haven't gotten as much done as I wanted. It will all be alright, but It kind of sucks. I have been trying to do it all on my own with no device. This afternoon I resorted back to using lidocaine. As soon as I applied it I put some seran wrap around my member and all of my problems disappeared. I was able to get a bunch of stuff done around the house.

    I'm really starting to wonder if the key to this whole thing isn't just removing my problem. I want a chastity device for this but I'm scared for myself and it's so early in this process I don't know what my wife really thinks. I wasn't supposed to be to this point until February. On top of that she's so busy she has not more capacity to discuss right now so it's really just my problem.

    I have been doing a lot of reading about the Holy Trainer. It's a lot of money for us to spend on something I know she would want me do just stop doing for free, but it's so difficult. The lidocaine really helps, but all morning long I was a mess.

    I'm sure she is going to be in a much more interested mood tonight, but we both agree that it's starting to get old having FLR and my sensativity be the topic of discussion once a day during her only free moment. I'm not going to bring it up at all today. I'm only going to talk about it if she asks.

    On the other hand I prepared an agenda for us to review where we are in this FLR and where it is going. I can't make her happy if she doesn't tell me what she wants. I got a lot of my info from aboutflr.com. I found some contracts on the internet that I will modify to meet our needs and make them less "Legalese"\

    If anyone wants to post the link with everyone's contracts that would be helpful.
     
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  3. Mactastic
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    Mactastic Long term member

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    So how much has changed as of late? It's interesting. She has been so busy at work that she said she doesn't have time for all of the distraction that my cuddling was causing. She wants to unwind when she comes home at 9-10 pm. Have a glass of wine, have a nice foot rub, get a back rub and watch TV. I have to admit that it's not ideal, but it's a start.

    Last weekend she had some women's issues that required a doctors visit and she said that giving her that much attention was too much, so she told me that she would rather me go masturbate myself while she was at work. I wasn't too happy about that, but she's not feeling sexy and definitely not ready to spend time talking more about FLR and Chastity. She simply doesn't have the time and capacity to participate or discuss it right now. She did mention that she wasn't sure that I was doing my part of the deal (although I have been working harder than ever). Later she realized that I really had been working hard, it's just on other important items and not the ones she thought I would do.

    I also had my reservations about my orgasm. My last orgasm, during sex, after two weeks of control was painful, and reacted similar to what I would call a ruined orgasm. It was a full prostate worked by muscles not used to that large of an organ, followed by a urethra not nearly used to that much hydraulic pressure. This was followed by a tremendous amount of cum that spurt hard at first with pain and then just sort of dribbled out for a long time into her (right after our trip). All of this combined with an emotional state where I was ready to tell her that I would rather see her cum again than cum myself once (which I told her yesterday). I can't believe I'm saying this, but I wish I had not cum in her.

    So to recap: Painful orgasm followed by dribbly flowing load.

    Now to last week - I masturbated myself as she asked (see paragraph 2). After a week and two days I again had an unpleasant orgasm. The hydraulic pressure was uncomfortable. I decided to break the rules and find out if it will always be this way so I masturbated the next day too. It was wornderfully pleasant. So the prolonged orgasm denial definitely causes some confort issues, and emotional changes in me.

    So here we are today. Tomorrow will be one week with no assigned orgasms/experiments, so I would consider myself still on course. I have only orgasmed under her instructions or to see if I am causing a problem with my body.

    Now on to planning. I am still committed to all orgasms being at her discretion, and withholding until mid February. This schedule does add one week to my one month wait unless she says otherwise.

    She did ask me if I have been good and how long I have waited. She isn't keeping track so that is interesting. I am just starting to get to where I am craving her smell and touch, and my penis is becoming extremely sensitive again.

    Her women's issue is still present, and had a brief conversation this morning with me to let me know that she thinks her period is about to begin this weekend, so I'm going to be at the two week period pretty soon again... Painful (ruined?) orgasm if she tells me to masturbate. I hope she doesn't. It's a strange feeling to want to only snuggle and give pleasure and receive none.

    We have avoided discussing all of this, but last night when she was telling me that she wasn't sure where we are in all of this whole process or what we are doing, I told her that it has been so long, that I really need to not overwhelm her with everything, and to present her a list and that she needs to decide what items she is interested in participating in and to what level.

    The bottom line is none of this will work if we don't communicate, however it has definitely changed our lives for the better.

    There is a place inside of me that wants her to tell me that I cannot orgasm without her permission and to be locked in chastity during the day while she is at work. I know that would be a stretch because she is so busy and she just wouldn't want that in her spare time. I don't want to get a device without her permission. She still isn't quite comfortable with the whole idea yet.
     
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  4. Mactastic
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    Mactastic Long term member

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    OK, so she totally caught me off guard. She called me from work and said that she is going to take a day off of work three weeks from now so that we can discuss all of the details of the new aspects of our personal life because she thought that we got off track a little. In my defense we she has had major work issues, and I have had major kid issues, and we have had major relatives issues for two weeks.


    I was surprised because she has been so busy that last week she said she didn't think she had time for all of the attention that I was giving her. I took that to mean that we were done with this little experiment in our personal lives. I told her that I only needed a few minutes to say what I had to say and so we could cover a big piece of it tonight if she wanted in a very short time. I fed her some concepts while we were on vacation, but we haven't really had time to nail down the rules (I told her to think of it as a game where she is constantly winning).


    We fed the kids and got them in bed and then found some alone time. We discussed all of our worldly issues first. Then finally she said, ok so lets get to our personal life. She said it comes down to three separate parts (4 really)

    1. My ownership of home and kid issues.

    2. Non sex together time

    3. Masturbation control

    4. Female led relationship ownership, which we did not go over because this issue is too big for her to deal with in a short conversation.


    I told her that I apologize for changing the subject but first she needed to know where my head was. I told her that I wasn't sure if we were still doing this because she said she didn't have time. I then told her that even if she said this trial was over and she wasn't interested, I believe that we have both changed and there are things that are better about our relationship because of those changes. I told her that I needed to know from her if she was still interested.


    She said, "I never told you that we could stop doing this." and my jaw dropped. Instant erection.


    Item 1. She continued on with how I need to compile the lists that are all over the house now and finish the incomplete items. She said that she knows that I have gotten a lot done, but there are open ticket items that have been completed.


    Item 2. She said that she has really enjoyed the time that we have been spending together and that needs to continue.


    Item 3. She said that she agrees that I need to control my and she paused. I told her that if we are going to deal with it we have to call it what it is. She said that I need to control my masturbation. She said, that there are times when she knows that I will need to because she will not be available. My heart was pounding at this point. Then she said, "You can only masturbate once per day." and my heart sank.


    I told her that concerning sex, my orgasms, and masturbation I want her to feel no responsibility. I mentioned this to her before and a few other details that made her much more open, but that is for another time. I told her that there were two problems with daily masturbation. 1. If am allowed to once per day I will once per day and then I will do it once per day. Next I will cheat and lie and it will be a problem again. 2. I WILL be looking at porn when I do it once per day and I don't want to think of anyone but her now. I told her that she is beautiful to me and that I don't want to ruin the idea of her being my fantasy.


    She got a big smile and said ok how often then? I said, "Well once per week at the most, but I have a special request." I said, "This is where things get more complicated. and our conversation takes longer, which I didn't expect. I don't want to do it without you knowing about it, so I would like to ask you permission before I do. You have the authority to say yes or no. I need to give you the authority to feel ok about this."


    She said, "Well that puts a lot more pressure on me. I don’t want you asking me all the time if you can masturbate. Now I will feel responsible for you, and have to keep track of it and everything.”


    I said, “No, I will put together a schedule, you will only hear about it when I reach a goal. I won’t bother you about it until it is time. We will be at once a week maximum but that may not be what my schedule will. You don’t have to think about it ever. If you want sex you just say and I’ll be there for you. If you can’t because of your period or don’t want to because of your work schedule, then if I ask, you simply have the authority to say yes or no. Also you can influence my schedule at any time by simply saying change a date with no consequences.”


    When we got home she had a quick desert that she wanted me to help her with. I cleaned up the kitchen after we made a mess and she brought a tablet over and said. I’ve showed you this before but I think you should take another look at it. It’s a home cleaning schedule website called FlyLady.com. She starts out simple and helps you set a routine. What do you think?


    I looked at her smiled and said. You don’t have to ask me to do this. If you tell me this is what you want, then I will just do it. I know I didn’t even look at this site the last time you showed me, but the smile on your face is the reason I need to do this for you.


    She went bonkers. We spent the next hour talking about how I was going to scrub the sink the next day. Then it was straight to bed for TV and snuggles. It was great!
     
  5. Jasmic68
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    Jasmic68 Long term member

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    I cannot remember if I have mentioned this before but there is another reason to wear a device that makes sense to a woman first getting into this. It stops the sensations of every day life stimulating your penis and making it hard to ignore. As you go further into denial periods these sensations get more intense and harder to ignore. Just the movement of your genitals while you walk becomes overwhelming. So wearing a device isolates the penis enough that these sensations are lessened allowing you to get on with normal life.

    Once you have gone a few weeks of denial and she witnesses for herself how easy you are to become aroused then she should finally truly understand why the device helps. My Wife also likes the way it helps her not feel like reciprocation is expected which allows her to relax when she just wants a cuddle or to be intimate without sex.
     
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  6. Jasmic68
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    Jasmic68 Long term member

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    No reward?

    Oh, then how about...
    Isnt that sort of thing a reward?

    What utter tosh that idiot wrote! While it is true that most women start this because they are asked to by their partner they certainly don't keep doing it because of that. My Wife gets a huge amount of reward out of this arrangement.
     
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  7. Jblocked
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    Jblocked Long term member

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    I think a cage will be ordered soon
     
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  8. Mactastic
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    Mactastic Long term member

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    So a couple of things happened yesterday. I’m so excited I want to start at the end but I shouldn’t because that will ruin the suspense and this is all getting so good.


    First I have to say thank you to @Jasmic68 for two things.

    1. I appreciate that this is a community of like minded individuals who appear to have one goal: Strengthening the relationships with partners through communication of desires. There is no denying that FLR and chastity are a hot kinky mess but somehow this place never forgets to get to the relationship management portion of the information. The truth is that each relationship which includes FLR and/or chastity is different, and if your partner loves you they will take your desires as seriously as you take theirs.

    2. Yesterday I read through the first 6 tabs of information on Jasmic68’s Complicated start. In the beginning I couldn’t relate. There are things he was into, that I am just not into. I read on and I have noticed that as his journey continued his wants and needs changed to his wife’s happiness. I am noticing so many other similarities now. Most importantly (at tab 6 of his story) we are both looking for our partner to be mutually interested in our relationship and owning the control that we are offering them. This is psychologically tough on us men because we have to tell them what to do “to us” to make us happy. I mean, that is literally the definition of topping from the bottom: Telling the Domme what to do to you. We want this to be something she wants to do right? So what is the solution? I’ll tell you how I circumvented this problem with a story from last night.

    I worked my tail off yesterday. My wife has bought into the idea of FLR but we haven’t gone over all of the rules. She still only knows what I’ve told her; because I’m the only one who is doing all of the research and putting this into our lives (sound familiar Jasmic68). I realized after a lot of reading yesterday that I really want her to tell me how to please her; tell me to rub her back, tell me to rub her feet, tell me to snuggle, tell me to get her a glass of wine. We are still in the infant stage of growing our FLR so I knew that I need to be patient and tactful.

    I had put the kids to bed and we were lying together in our room watching TV. She was on her side facing me and holding her head up slightly. I told her that she was going to have a sore neck or back if she didn’t move. Then I asked if she wanted a back rub instead.

    She nodded her head, pointed to her back abruptly (as if to say get back there) and looked at me with a stern face. That was all it took, I had a very strong erection. Then something very different happened. First you must know that it has been 8 days since my last orgasm. My prostate is full so I’m getting some leakage which is usually a small drop or two, no big deal. What I didn’t expect, was, sitting behind her with my legs wrapped around her must have pushed my erection (in the perineum area) into my prostate. I felt the “something feels like pee in my urethra, but my bladder muscles didn’t relax so, uh oh” sensation.

    I sat back and pulled open my pants (elastic waist) and reached over for a tissue. She turned around and said, “What’s going on back there.” In a stern voice which just made it worse. I said, “Hold on, I just have to take care of something.”

    The semen started coming out. I thought it would be just a little bit, like one drop or two. It wasn’t a full orgasm, but it was probably half a tea spoon of “what the hell am I going to do with all of this stuff” happening in my pants. Haha.

    Anyway, I apologized. She said, ”It’s nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed about.” Kind of matter of factly, then sat back for her massage.

    I did my best and eventually she lay down in a different position to watch some TV. Afterward I told her that I wanted to know if it was OK for us to talk about what happened. She said that I didn’t have to explain anything to her and that she understood. I said, “Well, there’s more to it than that. It didn’t just happen because I was going to rub your back and it’s been a long time for me.” She perked up.

    I took a deep breath and said, “You know how I asked if I could give you a back rub and you pointed to your back?” She said, “Yes, I wanted you to rub my back.” I said well, you didn’t “ask” me to do it. I took another deep breath, “You pointed to your back and without words “told” me to do it. It wasn’t a question it was an order, and I was very turned on by that.”

    Pay attention everyone – Here is the solution to your topping from the bottom issues!

    I said, “I would like to ask you, to do something for me, but only if you agree that you feel comfortable with it and want to.” She replied, “OK?” I continued, “When we are in “this” room, could you please not ask me to do things anymore? It would mean a lot to me if you would tell me to do them instead. I know that this sounds weird, I mean different, but all of these things we are doing seem to be working together. I want you to own your authority to give yourself pleasure without regard for my comfort.” She only took half a second to say, “OK.”

    At this point I had a raging erection again. She had to go to the restroom, and I had to check the house for locked doors and that kids were covered up before bed. We agreed to meet back at bed for lights out.

    We climbed in, and got snuggled up and she said, “Would you please…. I mean. Set the clock and make sure I get out of bed when the first alarm goes off.” I did it, then said, “Thank you for not asking me.” She shoved my face into her bosom and hugged me in the dark. Then as if to say, that’s enough, she shoved me over to face away from her and spooned me, draping her leg over mine sprawling across the whole bed.

    I smiled and went straight to sleep.

    By the way - I look at the votes on my survey every time I post. Looks like I am up from 2 10% votes to 4 votes (14%) who think I can make it to mid February (23 more days) without masturbating. I gained 2 votes. That makes me feel pretty good. The good news for me is that I am not going to count orgasms that she requests. So if she tells me to do it, or asks me to orgasm in her I did not cause that. And she just started her period again so I’m totally not having sex this week. The next time I might have a chance for PIV sex will mark three weeks for me. I will remind her of my schedule which I have told her that she bears no responsibility for, prior to sex and give her the option to do whatever she wants: manual/oral stimulation only, manual/oral stimulation with PIV with no orgasm, manual/oral stimulation with PIV with orgasm. If she doesn’t allow me to orgasm, I will be at my longest stretch: 4 weeks and two days

    Also I agree with you again Jasmic68 I seem to get very sensitive skin all over my body around the 6-7 day mark. It is almost unbearable just walking around doing stuff. I mentioned to her when we first started that I need her help with this but she was very much against a device. When I told her that I might want one to wear only while she is at work to control myself while she was away she said, “Oh, that makes things different” and then asked a bunch of questions like how would I pee, and about comfort etc. I would like all of this sensation to go away while I’m trying to concentrate. My memory is crap because I keep getting distracted by feeling myself. Anyway, ebay has Chinese Holy trainers for like $20. Just search resin chastity. I don’t want to do it without her permission, and I don’t want to rush this so she says no. I ultimately want to give her the option to say yes, and want to say yes only if she desires the control. I personally think that it is something that I want to try, and the idea of her accepting the authority turns me on. I do wish they had normal looking keys though. My greatest hope is that she is willing to wear a key on a necklace or anklet so that I see it in open public. Some people may know what it is, some people may not. This is a thousand miles ahead of where we are right now though.

    Sooo taboo… Yum.
     
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  9. DarkKnight
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    DarkKnight In service of the Dark_Queen

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    I had a total opposite experience. I don't notice the day to day rubbing of clothing against my skin much less my groin. When wearing a device though, I am much more aware and spend much more time contemplating the feeling. Also there are the self conscious thoughts of whether the extra bulge can be seen, has been seen / noticed, am I acting in a way that brings unwanted attention yada yada yada. After some period of time the thoughts fade and it is what it is until normality sets in.
     
  10. Hans Dietrick
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    Hans Dietrick Member

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    I wish you both nothing but happiness. I have been reading you post since the beginning and hope your wife will begin chastity and FLR with you.
     
  11. Jasmic68
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    It's an interesting process/feeling/experience. While I am constantly aware of the fact that I am wearing a device, it protects the sensitive area of my penis so I don't get aroused by the rubbing of clothes or movements induced by walking. After a few weeks wearing a device, back when I first started, I was hyper aware of all of this the first time my Wife unlocked me for a day.
     
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  12. Mactastic
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    So, I have a problem. A few weeks ago we had an issue with a family member which caused a miss conception by everyone else in our entire family. Now everyone is very unhappy about ME and MY actions (which never happened). I asked my wife if I could fix it the problem. She said NO.

    I secretly (weeks ago) told the person who caused all of this to fix it. They ignored me for weeks. I got to thinking about it yesterday and texted them again to let them know that I was going to fix the problem myself by letting everyone know the truth. Believe me I usually stay away from all of this drama. Now that person wants to meet with me and my wife to discuss all of this.

    That means I have a problem. My wife asked me NOT to fix this weeks ago, even though this will make things better for all of us. Ugh.

    On a much more comfortable subject, my relationship with my wife has never been better. She has told me to spend time on http://www.flylady.net/ learning how to be in charge of the house.

    Ok get ready to lose track of what I’m saying because I’m about to enter an infinite loop. Today while I was making the bed I started thinking that, the longer I appear to go without orgasm, the more sensitive and horny I get and the stronger my desire is to please my wife has become. I think it’s because I want to please her enough so that she wants to allow me to orgasm. I’m really enjoying being horny and seeing her happy. This has become my new focus, so I don’t want her to allow me to orgasm sooner than my schedule (mid February). I have shared my schedule with her in the past, but told her to totally disregard it (that it is only for me and she does not need to worry about managing it unless she wants to), and to use me for pleasuring her in any way that she desires with total disregard for my pleasure and orgasm. At the same time I want to orgasm because: well, who the hell doesn’t want PIV orgasm sex with the love of their life?

    My last “O” was 1/11/17. She gets really horny right after her period, which will be over mid next week 1/24/17. She really likes PIV (penis in vagina (Thanks @Jasmic68 for picking this up on another post and using it regularly)) sex after her period. She is going to want to do it on 1/28/17 and 1/29/17. Some time before then I’m thinking about reminding her that I want her to be hard on me, then telling her how much happier I am when I haven’t had an “O”. I want to let that set in for a couple of days prior to us having sex. Then, during the weekend, I will ask her if it would please her to have all of the sex without the mess. I think I should ask her if I can give her oral, and then do PIV to her content without letting me “O”. I know that it’s a long ways out and longer than I have waited before, but I kind of want to know if I can go until mid Feburary (2/11/17). That should put me at 30 days on the honor system.

    I really think this would be easier if I was locked up during the day. I find myself resting the bottom of my forearm across my lap as I type for more stimulation. It's just not fair. Maybe I should go put on the lidocaine (4%), that seems to help.

    So, fun fact: If you know your prostate is full and you have to take a dump (poop). If you can manage to pee first then get a slight erection, your prostate will be pressured by the process of defecation. A glob of cum will come out of your penis when you are done. If you don’t pee first, you won’t get to see fluids release as it all gets washed away by the pee… Just something I noticed…
     
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  13. Mactastic
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    My wife called me very upset about my actions, and I apologized over and over again, over time she forgave me, but I could tell that I still had some making up to do.

    Last night when my wife came home she saw that I was exhausted. I was emotionally stressed beyond my limits, physically drained from the work around the house I did, and in pain from an old injury. She gave me some pain medicine and told me go to bed in one of our children’s rooms so that everyone could stay up.

    This morning I woke up and made breakfast for everyone, and went into the bedroom to make my wife’s bed (I think I should start calling it that). We discussed the situation behind closed doors and she realized how upset I was with myself that I had done this after she had asked me not to. We both realized that we cannot allow this one thing to disrupt our relationship.

    I found myself trying to sit down because I am so tall as we addressed each other. I stood up and realized how much taller I am than her, and what a dominant position that puts me in. I sat back down to create a position of authority in her stance.

    I took a deep breath, and my voice began to quiver then I told her that, “I did something yesterday, but then I undid it and I wasn’t going to tell her about it until later.” She said “Were you bad, what did you do?” I said, “I was scared because I was going to ask you what kind of punishment I needed so that I would never do this again.” I continued, “I had placed some items out on the bed for you, but then I put them away when I was putting away some items in our room, until I discussed it with you.”

    She said, “OK” and gave me a big hug. We stayed like that for a few minutes. Then I told her that on a brighter note I am feeling strange emotions toward her, and that the longer I am without orgasm the more I appear to want to please her. She said that she remembers me saying that last time. I told her that I don’t know for sure why, but I think it is because some primal part of my brain is trying to attract a mate. That part of my brain is trying to attract her specifically because I have identified her.

    She said that she was starting to see that. My heart was racing now. I told her that I wanted her to use this information in any and every way to further her position and to bring herself pleasure.

    She got a silly grin on her face and said, “Or for Evil! Muhuhahahahaaa.” We both laughed, and I said yeah, even for evil. Whatever you want. I told her that I really appreciate us talking about this stuff regularly. It puts it in the forefront of my mind and keeps me focused on her interest in our relationship. That is so important to me.

    Anyway, I’m sure that you are wondering what the things I placed on the bed are so, here is what I did. I placed her pajamas on the bed with a note that says I love you. I placed a hairbrush and one of my leather belts on the bed. I was going to write a note that said that I had betrayed her trust, and would like her to decide the best way to remediate my insubordination. We could hug, talk, spank, use the brush, or use the belt or any combination until she felt that I wouldn’t make this mistake again.

    I mean this was bad. I know that she knows I was right to do this, but I was wrong in how I did it. I also knew that we needed to cool down before I proposed a punishment.

    We have never done anything like this before, so I don’t know how it will work out in the end. The most important thing to me, is regardless of the punishment she chooses. Our relationship is still super strong.
     
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  14. Mactastic
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    OK, so I'm frustrated, but relieved.... My wife had to spend some time out of the house today, so I did some additional clutter pick up, laundry, and random cleaning. I decided to lay the items out on the bed again for when she got home.

    I placed an empty shoe box, a watch, a hair brush, and a leather belt on the bed next to a cute pajamas shorts and shirt set with a note that says, "I love you." on it with a heart that I started laying out every day for her.

    When she was on her way home, I called her and asked if she would meet me in the bedroom to discuss something after she arrived. She agreed.

    She was in high spirits as we dealt with getting the kids to bed. I was still not in the best place emotionally. The stress of the last few days was still making me feel like my soul was worn. I was also physically tired. Although it is the weekend, I still cleaned the whole house.

    At any, she met me in the bedroom and looked at the items with a happy smile and said, "What's all of this?"

    I told her that:

    The box represents - Nothing. It is filled with hugs, love, discussion. No tangible punishment, but lots of understanding.

    The watch represents - Time. This is an amount of time that you decide on to be added to my denial of "O". It can be anything: A day, days, a week, weeks, and so on.

    The hair brush represents - Lesser physical punishment. She interrupted, "So you want me to hit you with that?" I answered, "What I want is irrelevant, but that is it's purpose, and why I was scared of what you would choose to make sure that I never go behind your back again." I continued, "In this room you have the authority to make any decision that you think will correct my course of action."

    The leather belt represents - A more harsh punishment and I took a deep breath.

    I told her that I didn't expect her to make a decision right now as I had to go take a shower. She stopped me and said, "You are an adult. You have the ability to control yourself. And that is what I expect you to do."

    I said. "So you are choosing the box?" Then a sigh of relief. But something kind of hurt inside. I know what she said is true, but I was kind of hoping that she would grab the reigns, exert her authority, choose something different, be bold. I don't know.

    Maybe it's no big deal. Maybe I dodged two bullets. She's not mad at me and I didn't get a punishment. We have never done anything like this before. I know that I have seen a lot more crazy ass porn than she has, and maybe my head is just in a weird place.

    I don't know.
     
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  15. Jasmic68
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    To ask your wife to physically punish you is to ask her to take a very large step that she might not be happy taking. You want an FLR and you can be part of the development of that, but you cannot force her to do anything that goes against her nature.

    Last night, as she was having a bath, I read the first two chapters of How to set up an FLR to my Wife. It was her idea that I do this as we have finished our most recent book. I bought this FLR book by Georgia Green months ago and Elle has known about it that entire time. I had to wait until she showed interest in it. I have mentioned it very occasionally when we have discussed things from it.

    I highly recommend it as it sets out different styles of relationship and helps both of you set goals and parameters without alienating each other.
     
  16. Mactastic
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    Thanks @Jasmic68 for all of the great advice. Yes, I did learn the hard emotional lesson of moving too fast in a direction that we had not yet discussed yet. I mean we have discussed the concept of discipline and punishment, but at no point did she ever agree that we were doing either, or that she was interested in anything more than discussing change. In the end we were able to fumble our way through making up and are in a much better place. I was going through some serious emotional low period, I don't know if it was from the pain meds I took, or lack of sleep, not having an "O" for so long (hormones at day 10 and 11) or what. I just made a few bad decisions, but in the end I think she appreciated that I was willing to do whatever to make it right for her.

    The bottom line was, as she put it, "We are both adults and in a relationship. We should be able to handle these things like adults. Asking me to hit you to punish you made me feel like I was treating you like a child. I don't want to think of you that way. I want to think of you as my big strong man."

    I told her that I would never stop being big, strong or a man. I am, however, interested in continuing to get my head into the place where I can get the most out of this power exchange. I want to really play my role in this game that has changed everything about how I am feeling.

    I asked what she thought about all of this, and she said. "Well I hope you are ready because, my period is almost over and I'm already in the mood for lots of sex." I sat down on the counter so that I could lower myself to her level (on my own I have been trying to stop putting myself into a dominant position when we talk). I said that I want whatever makes her happy, and that's my job, but I reminded her that I now feel like me doing without seems to be making me pay more attention to her. I said if you want me to "O" then I will.

    The next day we were sitting in our computer room most of the morning, working on a vacation schedule for a place that books a year ahead of time. The kids were in the other room watching a movie, and lunch time quickly came upon us. She looked over at me and said, honey would you please go make some chicken salad for lunch? I brine the chicken breasts over night so it is quite delicious. I got up to walk into the kitchen, then paused. I came back to her and said, I know that this is not the normal way that we do things, but, if it would make you happy, and you think it would further help us play this game you don't have to ask me. You can tell me to do anything, and I will do it. Something about the authority exchange is really turning me on. She kind of sighed and said, "OK. Go make me a chicken salad."

    Now here's the deal, I've got a raging erection at this point because of the authority I'm trying to give her, but I know she's not quite comfortable. Ugh. Sometimes I feel like all of this is moving so slow. Especially since she is obviously seeing the benefit, but she isn't interested in putting in the effort to perpetuate the program. She doesn't want to read books, she doesn't want to read forums, she doesn't want to chat with people, or look at videos or websites.

    Yeah, yeah, yeah, It's my fantasy, not hers, and I'm asking her to live it. I know it's going to take time, but come on, I mean. How hard is it to take a look around and see 1000% improvement in what the house looks like, and 1000% improvement in the way that I'm treating her, and 1000% improvement in the way that she feels about me and, just show some interest.

    By the way, @Jasmic68 I did mention that if she were interested in learning more about how to do this I could get her a book. We could read it together. She said no. I asked if she were interested in joining a forum and learning more form like minded women. She said no. So I am the sole source of information (sound familiar) I realize that we are only a month into this "No masturbating honor system FLR" but I was hoping that she would be as into this as she is into planning vacations, or picking out clothes or something. Maybe I should get a couple of books and read them myself then offer up the ideas for her to pick through a-la-cart. I'll have to think about that. Oooooh pod casts, books on tap (download etc.) she does listen to mindless stuff in her car. Hmmm... Oportunity?

    Ok, my rant is over. I know it's all on me. Time will make this whatever it's going to be. I should just be happy that she's playing along. Things are progressing fine etc. etc.

    So I came to her in another moment alone while she was sitting on her bed and decided to apologize just in case I made her uncomfortable about two things 1. Asking her to tell me what to do instead of asking me what to do. I told her that she can obviously do whatever makes her happy as that is what all of this is about, and that I only asked so that I could further play this game in my mind, to perpetuate making her happy. 2. Reminding her that I didn't have to "O" earlier. If she wants me to, and that is what makes her happy then that is what I will do.

    Just then an idea popped into my head. Which caused an issue. I said what if I use my hands and mouth like last time, and you feel that you need penetration and I give that to you but try not to "O". That will fill your need to have me in you and.... and then came the spasms from deep within me....

    I felt the clench of my cheeks, and the fluid inside of my penis. It felt like I was going to pee without unclenching my bladder again. She heard my low guttural sigh, and as if it were an everyday thing said, "The tissues are right there." and just looked at me. I pulled down my pants too late for most of it. But then came more fluid from my prostate. Again. it wasn't a full load, but it was an embarrassing moment, but I seem to long for these times where I am put into an unusual or uncomfortable situation. Even more so because she is in involved and present.

    I said. "Do you see? Just thinking about you. Us. This thing we are doing, is making me cream in my pants."

    My mind hearkened back to times when I was in high school and we would talk about, "That girl is so hot she's going to make me cum in my pants." But that never actually happened to any of us. Probably because we all secretly masturbated too much. But now it's happening to me. It's happening because of my own wife. How hot is that. My wife makes me cream in my jeans!

    Any way, I told her that I hate that we talk about FLR and Masturbation so much because I don't want either of us to get tired of discussing it. She said, "Yeah I know, me too, but it's kind of necessary at this point, for us to figure out all of this and where we are in it. Besides we don't have much alone time so it has to be done then." I said "How are you feeling about me not masturbating?" She said, "I still think masturbation is perfectly normal." I said what do you mean, you don't even do it. Then she blew my mind, and said, "Yes I do." My jaw dropped. I have been married to her for 20 years and had no idea! I said, "I've never seen you do it and you've never talked about it." She said that's because I'm better at it than you are." I said well, I mean, that 's to be debated." We have had a lot of time apart in separate rooms. Our lives have slowly grown apart, and now it's like we are just being introduced to each other for the first time. "Ooh, that's awesome!" I said, I have so many questions for you!
    "How often do you do it?"
    "When was the last time?"
    "What were you thinking about?"

    Looking back I must have seemed like an idiot. She said, "I'm not going to answer your questions for now." Then she got a big smile and siad, "But if things keep going like they are, I may in the future."

    God, I love this woman.
     
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  17. Jasmic68
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    Just one thought.

    Sometimes I feel like the pace we are going at, which is controlled by my Wife, is like the proverbial snail. Then I look up and see that somehow, without me noticing, huge changes have happened. This is such a difficult thing to do for us men as we can often feel like nothing is happening and we are getting nowhere. If your wife is truly on board then things will happen as she becomes used to them.
     
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  18. Hans Dietrick
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    I know how you feel, I have been trying to get my wife interested in Chasity and so far she don't want to do it.
     
  19. Jasmic68
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    The best thing to do is to show her what is in it for her without her actually realizing what you are doing. She won't understand why you don't want to orgasm. It won't make any sense. Why on earth would you want to stop having orgasms, they are nice, aren't they? Also she will feel like if she doesn't help you have an orgasm then she is a sexual failure.

    So, what to do? Stop masturbating. If you want to wear a device do so but be your own keyholder. Don't get caught doing it. Don't pester her for sex. Don't ask for permission to cum but also don't go on about not wanting to. You do want to, but only when she says so. If she notices changes in your behavior then tell her that you have stopped masturbating so that she is your sole outlet for sexual pleasure.

    It is my experience that women have little or no idea how much men masturbate and also little idea of what happens to us after a few weeks of not having any sexual release through an orgasm. When she witnesses the power of her touch after a few weeks then she might understand and be more interested. Something else you could try is ask her to have a trial period. One month perhaps, during which she has as many orgasms as she wants, when she wants and how she wants, but she says no to you having any. If a month is too long for you then try a few weeks. It has to be a long enough period that she sees the affect on you.

    The number one rule is do not under any circumstances become a pest. Agree on a safe word. If you do not use the safe word when asking for an orgasm. It will confuse the heck out of her that you are going to ask and you actually really want her to say no.
     
  20. Mactastic
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    @Jasmic68, I am somewhere in the mid 20th (25?) tab of reading Complicated start, and I am definitely seeing what you mean about going slow. Whenever you would write that it seems like your wife wasn’t moving fast enough or showing interest for long periods of time, I would take a look at what tab of your journal I was on. I would think, “Wow, I think I know exactly where his head is, but look at where it his wife was 15 tabs ago.” Then, I think, “Well, I’m on the second tab of my journey. So yeah, her head is getting to the right direction. And look at what we have accomplished so far.” We have only been doing this for a month. We still have a long way to go, but at least she understands what this is. I guess. Thanks for the sympathy @Hans Dietrick. Looks like we are all in this boat together… The slow boat to China. But someday we will be in China!!!

    I still think I would be best off having a device for 9-5 use, hey I was writing this when Jasmic suggested it. Seriously he just posted. Whaaaaaaaat?
    I think it would be much more hygienic to remove it daily than to keep it on 24/7 too, Also I have no desire to interrupt my sleep via night time erection issues.

    The reason I think I need a device, is, that I got lost in the internet yesterday. I didn’t masturbate, but I did keep looking and reading. I looked at the website for Georgia Ivey Green’s book that Jasmic suggested, then I noticed a twitter feed listed by someone who posted at the bottom of one of her pages. I thought, “Hey I wonder what Georgia Ivey Green says to the world daily!” So I clicked on the link. The next thing I know I’m looking at a twitter page full of links. I clicked one and they all go to her Tumblr page which is all chastity, ruined orgasm, FLR porn. I love this stuff, but I’m trying to stay away from it.

    Actually, I take that back! I really don’t like looking at it anymore because it doesn’t seem very real. My mind traveled directly to one video, that’s not on Georgia Ivey Green’s site. I remembered about this ruined orgasm video that that I used to watch, which really did it for me. So here it is; Raquel Raxxx video from mmtubes.com. If you go to their website they don’t show the ending on their preview page, so don’t waste your time. If you look on xvideos.com though, you can find the whole thing. All I like is the last 30 seconds of a 7 minute video, where she finishes this guy off. The beginning of the video is garbage, all staged production, definitely just for show. But at the end she doesn’t smile, or look impressed, or as though she has interest in what the guy is doing. She just has a job to do, and that job is to ruin his orgasm, and look away without saying a word. She does have a muhuhahaha smirk though, which is perfect. I don’t like the ones where they are taunting, or poking fun. Anyway, before I knew it I was surfing porn… I had to stop. This was not what I was supposed to be doing.

    So, I got back to work. Later I read some more of Jasmic’s journal, which led my mind to a different place. I decided to categorize my thoughts and sort them, to better understand my feelings and interests. I mean, we are all here for a reason. What is my goal? Then I thought of the aboutflr.com site and their guided investigation to get full disclosure from a man for a FLR.

    Look, I know FOR SURE that handing her this list of questions and saying, “Ask me this and you will know everything!” with a big dumb smile on my face, well, this is probably the fastest way to end this whole experience. However, if your partner really is interested in you, then they are interested in your fantasies. So how to proceed?

    Perhaps I can re-word the investigation and not go off of the deep end with all of this. I don’t want to make her feel uncomfortable. Hmmm. Maybe I can ask her some of the questions from the list, over time, and compile them into one answer sheet of HER interests. This way I can find out how far down the rabbit hole we can go.

    I mean, she already has felt uncomfortable with the suggestion of a chastity device for me, but when I mentioned that I could just wear it during the day she said, “Well that’s different.” Meaning, she’s not saying no.

    Maybe if I compile a vanilla friendly list to ask your female partner, it could be a tool that men can use to guage their partner’s interest in this whole world of chastity and FLR. I already posted a bunch of questions a vanilla woman should ask to her man that suggested chastity on a Foyer post. Maybe I could build off of that too. Hmm. This is interesting from so many dynamic perspectives.

    I’m up to 6 votes (20%) that I will make it to mid February without masturbating. Oh and I don't know how to get my ticker to work, any advice would be great!
     
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  21. Jasmic68
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    I love this!
     
  22. Hans Dietrick
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    Thank You for the good advice. I will try these approaches you listed
     
  23. Mactastic
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    5:37 PM
    Tonight, too much wine (for me), and too much truth. We both got hurt feelings, but in the end our understanding put us in a better place. Things were a little touch and go for a second there.

    She came home from work. I already had a couple glasses of wine in me. I was feeling pretty good and I told her that I miss drunk sex. She got really upset about this, told me to follow her because we were moving the conversation behind closed bedroom doors. I thought that she got upset because I was drunk when I said it. She kept deflecting and not answering, "Why we used to get drunk and screw like rabbits when we first got together, but don't now?" There was a lot of conversation that I don't really remember, some of it was about her not taking this new way of thinking about our relationship seriously. She said we talk about it as often as we can and something about not having the headspace to read a book or do research about it. Other bits were about her not trusting me. Apparently, prior to Christmas, she thought I spent all of my free time masturbating, and was concerned if this "New me" was here to stay. I mean I did masturbate a lot, but I didn't spend all day doing it. I told her that I was much more efficient at masturbating than she thinks and that I was really just being selfish and self absorbed back then watching stupid TV shows online with ALL of my time.

    I told her that proof that I am taking all of this seriously lies in my actions right now: This conversation. Before, she would have told me that we needed to discuss something in the other room and I would have either blown her off, or told her that we needed to talk about it right there. I would have taken control of the location and conversation and we both would have ended up yelling at each other. I didn't tonight. I dropped what I was doing and went with her to discuss the whole thing in a quiet tone. I heard her out, didn't interrupt but I did defended my actions because she wasn't forthcoming with her reasons. I wasn't going to avoid the tough questions, but I was going to value her opinions and words above all other things.

    Then I mentioned that we are still only having sex once per month. I told her that I haven't masturbated since mid December and the honor system is harder than it sounds. Going 60-0 mph (96-0 kilometers per hr for my European friends) isn't easy. I am doing fine for now, but it would be easier if she showed more interest. She defended herself, with all of the things that are completely true, and I felt like a total ass. Her work load, feminine issues which sent her to the doctor followed by her menstrual cycle which puts me into week three of waiting for sex. I said that, "This will sound counter intuitive, but, if you just touch me sometimes, or say something about my "O" date, it will keep me focused on our relationship. A little teasing will go a long way. I know it's asking you to do something. I promised that you wouldn't have to do anything, but think about how good everything has been lately" Ugh.. I conceded that she clearly is doing all that she can and it isn't supposed to be about me. I'm matching the longest time that I've gone so far without an "O" and I haven't masturbated in 5 weeks though. She showed some sympathy which was nice.

    Our conversation came back to that drunk sex statement and the "Why?" finally came out of her. We have been married 20 years, and she told me that she only drank before sex in the old days because she used to do it to get through things she didn't like about sex with other people before we were together. I told her that, although I enjoyed it and miss it, I will never ask her to drink heavily before sex to loose her inhibitions again. She said she appreciated that and would rather feel present because she enjoys that more. I told her that I wish she had told me years ago, and she fell into my arms.

    There were tears and kissing, and hugs. It was great.

    I asked if I could give her a foot massage, and she gladly agreed. I have been watching massage tutorials on YouTube. It's really starting to pay off.

    We watched TV cuddled up on our bed. My buzz was finally gone, and I was feeling normal again. I told her that I was really sorry for bringing up everything. I honestly don't remember how it all started. I know I didn't start it. But it didn't matter. The good news is that we had gotten back on track.

    I sat up in bed and looked at her.

    She paused the TV show.

    I said, "Listen, we previously discussed that you wouldn't know my "O" schedule, but you knowing could be the solution to this whole thing about how often we have sex."

    She said, "I don't want to be in charge of your schedule."

    I said, "I know, and you wouldn't be in charge, but my mind is working like this: I know when I'm supposed to be allowed to masturbate, but you don't. My expectation is that you are still going to want to have sex as soon as you physically can which is not the same. My anticipation is high now that your menstrual cycle is almost over. So I'm still craving sex with you badly. If I tell you that I'm not going to "O" until my next schedule date, because you know when that is, my mind will NOT expect you to be ready until then."

    She said, "Can't you just go take care of it now?" to which I replied. "I don't want to without you. Do you want to come with me? Because I don't want to look at other women on the computer when you are right here." She shook her head no, and said, "I don't think I'm ready for that. Maybe in the future, but not now." I continued, "Besides, I'm not going to ask tonight. If you are "telling" me to, I will go, but I'm not going to ask."

    She said, "Well we agreed that you can ask once per week, so why don't you just ask and go." I said, "No, because I haven't reached the date on my schedule. I may be allowed to ask once per week but I'm not going to ask to masturbate at all before then. If you are "Telling" me to go, then I'll obey, but I'm not going to unless you tell me to or you come with me. On the other hand If I tell you my next scheduled date, then you can just tell me "Not until then" and my mind will let go of all of this."

    She said, "OK, so when is the next date?" I said, "Not until the weekend of February 11" The look on her face was priceless. "That's not for three more weekends, you have already waited two weeks.Why so far away?" I said, "It was supposed to be four weeks after last weekend, but you had issues so we couldn't have sex last weekend. Also, it is after the first week of the month -your busy week at work, and the weekend before your next period, so it's kind of the only time you have available." She had an interested look on her face, "You really put a lot of effort into planning all of this out. What if I want you before then?" I said, "If you choose to be in the mood before then, it will be a pleasant surprise." She asked, "What if something comes up, or I can't on your weekend?" to which I replied, "Then I will either ask for permission to masturbate, and you can say yes or no, or I will wait until my next scheduled date to ask."

    She looked at me with concerned eyes, "What if we have sex before then and you have a problem getting hard like last time?" I mean you had several "O"s last time, but you didn't get... You know,.. Hard."

    I said, "All of that is in a man's head. Just remind me that if I don't, my next one won't be until February 11, or whenever my next schedule is and I'm sure that I will get turned on. And don't forget, you can tell me that..."

    She interrupted me, "I can tell you that you aren't going to cum even if I do, if I want to. Yeah yeah. You are like a broken record."

    She nodded her head and said, "OK, so your next "O" will be the weekend of February 11th" and we snuggled for a few minutes. It was time to shut down the lights, but I forgot to clean up dinner. By the time I got back to the bedroom she was already asleep. And now here I am.

    In my opinion, this was a huge victory. I want her to be an active participant. I know that she has other priorities, but this role that she is filling is making me more productive around the house. I'm getting stuff done that has not been done for months. In a perfect world there would be no struggle. But this struggle seems to be bringing us closer. I'm really enjoying our time together. She's smiling more, giggling all the time, and laughing at everything. It's like we are dating again.

    I'm super happy right now.
     
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  24. Mactastic
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    Mactastic Long term member

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    I think after last night I have to get my priorities straight. Things are going great at the house, but I don't want to overwhelm my wife. This is all new to her. To me it's exciting, but to her it's something to add on to her already crazy list of responsibilities. Today before she left for work she said that she wanted me to masturbate today just so that she didn't feel responsible. I told her that I didn't want to, that I thought we settled it last night and the idea of doing it without her makes me sad. I told her that I have no expectations until February 11th, and that I'm going to try to reduce the amount of discussion that we have about any of this FLR chastity to zero until then and focus on just making her happy.

    She really liked that a lot. Then whipped around with a big smile on her face and said, "Then don't masturbate until February 11th, and lets just hang out and snuggle more, I love it when you rub my feet, and when we watch TV together. It really helps my stress melt away and for me to feel more in tune with you."

    Fireworks were going off in my brain! I told her that I wanted to pick up some massage oil I found at a local drug store. I really want to try some massage techniques I have been learning.

    Her face was simply beaming.

    This was a good morning. Anyway. I want to focus more on her and less on me and my problems so I'm going to take a break from writing for a few days. I have high hopes.

    I'm... We're in a great place right now. I'm excited to see where we go in February. But until then I think I'm going to "think" less about it.
     
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  25. Mactastic
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    Mactastic Long term member

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    I'm starting to notice two trends, correlations, commonalities. First everyone here is discussing the common theme of chastity and its use in their sexual relationship and power exchange with a significant other (we all know this. That's why we are here). The second commonality is that the rules of engagement are not shared by all. What you all seem to be saying is that your circumstances are not ubiquitous (present, appearing, or found everywhere). You are all frustrated but for your own reasons and unique causes. Some of your partners are participating in, or enjoying the game, lifestyle, or circumstance while enjoying PIV sex or allowing penile stimulation and others partners simply want nothing to do with it leaving you frustrated by lack of stimulation.


    This is fantastic, and in my opinion each deserves their own thread.

    1. Chastity - Locked away and forgotten

    2. Chastity - She messes with my mind by still using my penis


    In the mean time, my wife told me to that we were talking about rules and the lifestyle too much, so (taking a play from @Jasmic68) I suggested that I not discuss it unless she brings it up on February 11th which is my next scheduled “O” date. She gets to decide whether we have sex between now and then and whether I “O” during that sex. I am to expect nothing until February 11th though. I was getting turned on all the time though, and fortunately she wanted sex yesterday (1/28/17) and now that I’m back to normal. It’s not on my mind all the time.


    Strange, How badly I want to talk about not masturbating when I’m trying to keep it off of my mind. Now that I’ve had sex I don’t want to masturbate and I could care less if we discussed the rules or means by which it is accomplished. I mean I still don't want to masturbate, but I'm not obsessed about it now.
     
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