On My Honour ...

Discussion in 'Novices and newbies' started by Gryffin, Mar 9, 2018.

  1. Gryffin
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    Gryffin Member

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    I realize that the honour system is not entirely popular around here and many of us feel the need to feel confined as well as denied. But ball trap devices aren't really working out for me (I seem to need a mid-size unavailable ring) and there is no way my partner will be happy with me getting a custom device or full belt for some time.

    So...

    How would you make it work? For solo play I imagine it would be difficult to stay honest. But with a 'keyholder' surely they would notice the difference in both the person and their little friend if they let go in private ;) either leading to disapointment or perhaps punishment depending on your preferences.

    To put the cat amongst the pigeons: In some ways is the honour system better because the sub has full availability at all times and must control himself for his owner, rather than simply having the opportunity taken away from him?

    In other words would you prefer no erections, or, an erection within easy reach and have to resist any momentary weakness to resolve it all the time.

    Any thoughts gratefully received... Thanks
     
  2. ChangingTimes
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    ChangingTimes New Member

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    My wife seemingly is not interested in chastity sadly. But I do impose a 'no self-touching' rule on myself so that it's all hers. But tbh thats not much of a sacrifice as she is very very frisky when it comes to sex and oral lol.

    If you're keeping busy with other things, not alone much and just avoid porn then it's remarkable how that lustful side of your mind can be switched off (although I accept I haven't had to do it for very long)
     
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  3. Cincy
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    Cincy Well-Known Member

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    My wife loves my erections, but she denies my orgasms because she also loves to keep me horny all the time. Everytime I'm allowed a rare full blown orgasm, I have 3 or 4 days of down time. She does not like that, and neither do I. I'm not locked and she would know if I ever cheated.
     
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  4. Jasmic68
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    Jasmic68 living in interesting times

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    I wore a holy trainer v2 for two years and then started having issues with sores developing on my penis and because of this I have been on the honour system for several weeks, I cannot remember exactly when it started. It has actually surprised me how easy it has been to follow the honour system as, when we started, I used to have many 'accidents' even whilst wearing the device.

    I think the device helped train me in several ways. It slowly weaned me off of the need to masturbate as like many men prior to chastity I would bring myself to orgasm at least several times a week. Even though the device was easy to beat it gave me a visual reminder that to do so I was going against the promise I had made to my Wife. Back in those early days there were a few occasions where I tried to fool myself into believing that orgasms I had from doing something other than traditional masturbating, such as using a wand massager, didn't count, but I still became depressed with my own weakness. I haven't done anything like this in months, probably longer than a year.

    The second way that I have been trained is the realisation that I prefer to be denied than to be allowed to have an orgasm. The build up of arousal that I experience is truly astonishing and both me and my Wife get a huge kick out of the effect it has on me. To masturbate would be to remove this depth of feeling and ruin our fun for several weeks. Last week I helped my Wife have an orgasm and while she was still in the afterglow she murmured to me that I was a very good boy but that doesn't mean that I was allowed to cum. The power of the statement given the timing was overwhelming and the grin on her face showed that she saw how much she had effected me.

    That said my Wife does prefer me locked up as it is a visual reminder of her power over me. She has said in the past that she will not have me pierced to increase the security of a device as that would remove the need for trust that is a large part of where her enjoyment comes from. This makes me think that the trust she has shown in me over the past few months must have been good for her. I know this period is coming to an end though and I am ok with that.
     
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  5. Jasmic68
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    Jasmic68 living in interesting times

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    The chastity device for many people is part of the fetish of chastity. In my mind if you are strong enough to stick to the honour method you have absolutely nothing to apologise about. If I was to start all this over again I would introduce my Wife to Karezza worship or tantric approach to orgasm control rather than wearing a device, but we started the way we did and she likes it.

    To be honest there is absolutely no difference in the control needed for someone on the honour system to someone wearing a device. Unless you are in a full belt that removes complete access to the penis there are always ways to beat the device and orgasm. Both systems rely on the honesty and integrity of the male. The only difference is the device acts as a reminder to both participants of what has been agreed to.
     
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  6. Chaste J.
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    Chaste J. Well-Known Member

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    The chastity cage is very symbolic and I think that's the big appeal to lots of people. Mrs Chaste enjoys me being locked by her and that's it! And to be honest I like being locked by her. Part of the "game" for Mrs Chaste is that although she trusts me there are lots of wicked women who would like to lead poor gullible me astray! So even if they managed it I can't do anything! In the end its for my own good, apparently.
     
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  7. Joan.t
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    Joan.t Well-Known Member

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    As a KH I prefer the second one, the feeling of power is huge, only exerting the control by words, transferring the physical to the mental, the ultimate in control.
     
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  8. LockedPom
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    LockedPom Active Member

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    The honour method is quite easy, but requires some self-control, and regular attention from the partner. It takes time to gradually increase the length of denial without "accidents". The honour method makes it easier to tease, is more practical (especially for my job/lifestyle/having kids around), and less hassle than using a cage. I've found that since being on the honour method, that I've considerably reduced my porn intake, making much better use of my time, as well as the other benefits for the female partner that male chastity provide.
     
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  9. Gryffin
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    Gryffin Member

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    Thank you everybody for your replies :) - I'm quite surprised how many people are using the honour system around here already. Had assumed that everybody had a a key or keyholder stashed away somewhere...

    It's been nearly a week now and things are starting to get a little more challenging.

    I also 'found' this thread which I missed the other day by another user which has good information in it if anybody reads this with similar queries to me: https://www.chastitymansion.com/for...-from-honor-system-to-cage.26518/#post-249028

    Thanks again!
     
  10. LadyMoon
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    LadyMoon Well-Known Member

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    I agree with @Joan.t that, as a keyholder, the idea that you can hold someone with your words alone is a power trip.

    For me, the device is only a symbol of the agreement made between keyholder and lockee -- the device is not the one in control, I am the one in control. Still, the device provides a feeling of bondage that can be both reassuring and exhilarating.

    If you want to continue with the honor system, maybe there's another symbol you could wear that would be powerful to you -- a ring, a padlock on a necklace, or even a tattoo of a lock on your hip or pubic region.
     
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  11. Gryffin
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    Gryffin Member

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    My partner certainly enjoyed it last night @LadyMoon she had a back rub, neck massage, film of her choice and lets just say multiple other things throughout the night putting her in a very relaxed state.

    Not once did she attempt to return to the favour, except for a few comments that somebody was very awake :eek: - I'm sure she used to feel guilty when she didn't respond in kind...

    I think I'll be told off for getting a tattoo and I'm getting a ring of another kind in under a month. But there is something of what you say which makes me bite my lip. Or is it just that this is the longest I've "behaved" for well - as long as I remember?
     
  12. LadyMoon
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    LadyMoon Well-Known Member

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    Well, of course, you wouldn't go get a tattoo on your own -- I was just making a suggestion of something that your KH might be interested in investigating.

    I've definitely seen couples with both traditional wedding rings and then some other "mark" of a D/s relationship, either a collar, a tattoo, or other symbolic item. So I think such a thing could be easily done and meaningful for "honor-system" chastity.

    What made you "bite your lip," out of curiosity?
     
  13. Gryffin
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    Gryffin Member

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    Sometimes I need to remember to think in my head ...

    Her mark on me. Not so much in a submissive way a possessive 'This is mine' from her.

    That and just before I read your post I was thinking of the device being like her hand always there. A secret intimate part of me.

    ... coupled with the fact that she see seems to have started to realize the perks.
     
  14. LesterBallard
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    LesterBallard Well-Known Member

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    When it comes to cages, I doubt there's any that's completely foolproof. Give a man enough time and testosterone and he's probably going to be able to get out of it.

    Note: I'm not saying that of anyone here, and I respect the dedication and devotion of the caged men on this site enormously. But for someone who wanted to get out, there's probably a way.

    For that reason the honour system holds a lot of power for me. It becomes a purely mental thing, a relationship between two people based on trust and dedication. Even easier to stray you would argue, and it's hard to deny that, but for me the mental side of sex has always taken precedence over the physical. A mental agreement of chastity would mean more to me than a mechanically induced one.

    Just my thought. And, again, I'm not belittling the marvellous efforts of the men and Women on this site, for which I have undying admiration.
     
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