Oh bugger! I am a little bit judgemental.

Discussion in 'Chastity and orgasm denial' started by Mandynjack, Feb 19, 2018.

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  1. Mandynjack
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    Mandynjack Well-Known Member

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    Porn watching cagees! I understand the 'whole build the frustration thing', it sounds like a neat way to ramp up tension in the nether regions and if kept caged, adds an obvious dimension to denial. However, it just seems a little lazy from all parties to me. I know I'm going to get some 'feedback' on this one, but I just think it lacks invention. And ladies, we are feeding this lack of creativity! I really don't want to sound judgemental, it does provide a simple scenario product, but we can do so much better. He's given you the keys, make him really feel the manifestation of the power exchange. With that little charm around our necks/ankles, there is so much fun to be had with a little bit more creativity.
     
  2. the glove
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    the glove Member

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    that is your right ma'am
     
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  3. thefemdecided
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    thefemdecided Well-Known Member

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    Porn doesn’t really do it for any of us. So much of it is samey, though to be fair some of the chastity porn gives us new ideas. It’s far more fun, and far more erotic, to use ourselves as the trigger. Your mentioned the visible keys, we use those of course, but also use our bodies. The power of a caress beats a video every time, the glimpse of a nipple works wonders.

    Thanks for flagging this up, we need to concentrate more on real actions.

    (Goes back to watching crappy daytime telly!)

    Jane & Janet
    XX
     
  4. Ma'at Rebekah
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    Ma'at Rebekah Active Member

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    yes..... cages are primarily created, produced and worn by xy's . big and bulky so he knows it's there. so he feels well secured. which helps him imagine that he can not escape. that he is helpless and without a choice. the one inescapable fact is as long as the kh wears the key around her neck he chooses to be where he is and all your power is owned and controlled by him. with ssc the rule it will always require both parties imagination to work. no matter how perfect and secure they make the cage the key is but a grab away.
    often i am challenged by what i read here related to power exchange. my observations are. xx's graciously accept the privileges bestowed upon them by the xy and call in empowerment. so long as you play by their rules, ssc which gives them the ultimate power in this exchange, stopping...... when it is no longer going their way. not to mention the veiled and concealed efforts to top from the bottom. hence most of the equipment is made as props to help facilitate the fantasy. just remember ladies under these rules we are the enablers not the empowered.
    i am from the ncc camp and security 24/7/365 is tantamount. feasible security under any circumstance. playing football to wearing a dress or swimsuit. nothing on the market will do. so i made one for all occasions except the airport.
    i deep pierced his groin in 4 places so that a pa lock can pass through all four holes and trapping the penis inside the groin. low profile and escape requires the key or a knife! sad thing is it only works on growers which i own.
    i also eliminated the key on my person. i bought a small electronic opening safe and bolted it to the floor in my closet. attached two finger print entry pads one at the safe with my print require and one in the bathroom where his print is required. both must be done together for the safe to open. he is always chained when the safe is opened. the bathroom door lock is on the outside so he's locked in. the closet has a retina scan to open the door, automatic close door can't leave it open and if blocked the alarm goes off after 3 minutes. (a real pain when dressing). maybe overkill but very secure.
    wish i had more but i am working on it. i have a few irons in the fire. would love to hear other ideas in this vain. the one i dream of most but lack the skill is internal controls for a internal shock device in the puck. looked into testicle prosthetic as a possible shell. do a recharge like cochlear implants do. put the controls under my skin on the underside of my forearm. i bet it would cost a fortune to make. not a big market either.





    y
     
  5. PouchPantyLover
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    PouchPantyLover Well-Known Member

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    I agree with you @Mandynjack in that I find the viewing of pornography as being destructive towards a relationship. I mean that when caged or not caged. It wasn't until I started wearing the cage that I saw how destructive porn is. For me, I wasn't having as much sex as I wanted, so I turned to masturbation and I used porn as a tool in that process. I ended up resenting my wife because I was "forced" to turn to this form of sexual release and porn fed that resentment even more. After all, here were all these women performing all of these outrageous sexual acts for men and I'm jerking off into a tissue. Once we got into chastity I turned my porn interest into more femdom, but this has the same negative impact as I'm constantly comparing my wife to these unrealistic portrayals of what a "Mistress" should be.

    All of the above being said I still haven't given up on it completely. I should, but I haven't. I should also have a healthier diet, drink less and exercise more. I think as humans we know what are good choices and what are not, but we don't always make the best choice. I also think most keyholders are not as active and liberated as you. For me, my wife just never got into tease and denial. I don't know why. We talk about it and she says she's going to try, but she never does. I'm not blaming her for this as that's her right, but when I have to choose between the healthy and unhealthy choice, that plays a part in my thought process. I think if my wife wanted to exercise that level of control over me she could. As your OP states, this is up to the ladies more than the men,
     
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  6. Joroincharge
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    Joroincharge Lock em up - 24/7/365!!

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    #6 Joroincharge, Feb 19, 2018
    Last edited: Feb 19, 2018
    Absolutely! But once you've got the power, and the keys, it's really for you to call the shots as to where you take him. For him to do this is 'topping from the bottom'.

    You have all sorts of options, sexually and otherwise. Sexually you deny or require of him as you choose, with your option to enjoy yourself elsewhere while ensuring he can't. Otherwise you can monitor/determine his internet, movements (GPS tracker), finance, clothing, diet, whatever you like if you do it properly. His role from then on is passive and to do as he is told. You transform the relationship into whatever you want it to be. The invention and creativity come from you. Once you've got him properly by the balls the world's your oyster and the sky's the limit!:)
    Porn watching is just part of it. If you want, you can prevent it. Or if you want just to heighten his frustration to feel that 'Titus Agrippa' down there you can require it (and specify the type - e.g. male chastity videos), maybe feeding him a Viagra to enhance it. All your decision.
     
  7. ineverknew
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    ineverknew Well-Known Member

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    I agree. Though my wife has limited amount of time and no creativity when it comes to this yet. Though I also think porn is pointless, unrealistic, and no fun to watch while locked.
     
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  8. LesterBallard
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    LesterBallard Well-Known Member

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    My relationship with porn has changed. Previously, I used it a lot, and I was fairly undiscriminating. Then I started to become more and more interested in femdom and, latterly, chastity.

    This forced me to reconsider what I was watching and what I was doing. It feels uncomfortable, now, when I'm convinced of female superiority, to be viewing porn in this way. It feels like a failure of my convictions.
     
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  9. Beautiful and her footman
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    Beautiful and her footman Well-Known Member

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    https://yourbrainonporn.com

    An interesting look into the harmful effects pornography can have on the male brain and body. I personally found much accuracy in what this web site claims.

    -the footman
     
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  10. QueenD'sToy
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    QueenD'sToy New Member

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  11. Ma'at Rebekah
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    Ma'at Rebekah Active Member

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    i have tried shock devices in the past. at first they were bulky and contact was unreliable. sometimes i would turn it up because of no response . then he moves and i push the button and it's like i cut off his balls. inflicting pain is ok if that is what i want to do but that was over the line more times than i would like to own up to . finally i threw in the towel. we put that one on the half baked stack of failed ideas i've had. i tried the perimeter switches as well as the radio signal ones, even the ones for small dogs but they never worked out for the same reasons. i even drilled out a cb 6000 and attached one to it. it worked better and the contacts never left the skin which created it own problem. (major bruising) the real problem was the added weight to the cage. which quickly caused some spectacular colorful chaffing sores and bruises on his penis near the base. hey.... the idea was sound and it did what it was intended to do. after the third attempt at perfecting it puck stated "ma'at can no longer call this collateral damage, it's cause and effect". well as you can tell i have not given up on the concept just the current technology.
     
  12. Nicoftime
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    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

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    My kh has a safe room. The retinal scan and voice identification are just to get in. Anti cheating protocols are in place when she’s not in the room. Pressure sensors in the floor can detect the slightest weight, if the temperature raises even three degrees alarms are tripped, any noise over three decibels also triggers the alarm, and when I say it’s sensitive I mean STATE OF THE ART.

    Wait a minute, that was mission impossible. Her key is around her neck and the spare is hidden somewhere in the house.

    I can’t speak about porn and this relationship, it was never part of it, and we’ve never went through a lull in our sex life that it was needed. I have however been in a relationship like that where porn and self pleasure was an easy way to get by without dealing with a problem. Instead of communicating, or worry about rejection, it was easier to rely on porn. It made it too easy.

    As far as her using porn as a tool to tease? She isn’t really into that. We send each other erotic pics gifs or memes during the day, but it’s not like a movie or anything. I find I have watched less and less, and it doesn’t really do much, just something interesting to look at, and mostly based on something amateur that reminds me of us.

    If she said no more porn I wouldn’t care and it wouldn’t change more than a few minutes a month of my internet time.
     
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  13. Fred.SM
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    Fred.SM New Member

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    As many have said in the BDSM literature, the sooner you accept that it is all just a fantasy, the sooner you can let go and enjoy it for what it is.
    Even in your scenario, he can still force you to get the key, by himself or with the help of someone else, something he would be entirely in his right to do if you were doing something without his consent. He can also always call the police, which will get him freed and you will likely become as sex offender, or even face jail time for sexual assault for engaging in non-consensual acts.
    So really, play SSC or don’t play at all.

    As for the topic at hand, the Keyholder shouldn’t really be expected to be creative or cater to whatever the sub wants. She can, but it’s not her fault if it all seems too much work. It’s the sub’s responsibility to judge if the way his Keyholder wants to play is acceptable, and decide if he wants to continue or not.

    Some subs will eventually try to “buy” the Keyholders commitment and engagement in the play by doing things he should have been doing anyway (e.g. be doting, helpful around the house, pamper, give her orgasms, etc.), and stop doing these things if she doesn’t play. To be that would be deceitful. Instead I would just give up on the play and keep doing these things regardless. Being a good partner is above any kinks.
     
  14. Willywonka
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    Willywonka Member

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    Agreed.
    I also agree with Mandy to a point. I too believe that effort and imagination from the keyholder is better, however, porn is a tool that can be utilised when necessary, in my opinion.
     
  15. Mr M
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    Mr M Well-Known Member

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    What I use to believe: my sexuality is more developed and mature because I have a healthy appetite for porn and a strong sense of exploration.

    What I am now ashamed of: I use masturbation and porn to escape the reality that I am immature and terrified by actual sexual exploration and maturity with real people.

    I appreciate when my KH or any strong woman makes it clear that my engagement in a relationship includes my struggle to actually connect with my partner. This includes not tolerating escape in a fantasy. And conviently, when I check out with porn, it is somehow her fault that I suck at sex with others.

    One of the reasons I love chastity, I don't get a hall pass. Although I am not 100% perfect, I have a commitment, structure and constant reminder that no matter how much porn I watch, there is only one way to have sexual gratification... by earning it.

    I am lucky I have I nicer keyholder, if I had to confess to @Mandynjack and other won't settle for less KHs, It would not be pretty. Although I probably need the correction. I do however appreciate the thoughtful mental kicks you give us in actual connection and commitment to our partner. Thanks for the post.
     
  16. Mr M
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    Mr M Well-Known Member

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    What I use to believe: my sexuality is more developed and mature because I have a healthy appetite for porn and a strong sense of exploration.

    What I am now ashamed of: I use masturbation and porn to escape the reality that I am immature and terrified by actual sexual exploration and maturity with real people.

    I appreciate when my KH or any strong woman makes it clear that my engagement in a relationship includes my struggle to actually connect with my partner. This includes not tolerating escape in a fantasy. And conviently, when I check out with porn, it is somehow her fault that I suck at sex with others.

    One of the reasons I love chastity, I don't get a hall pass. Although I am not 100% perfect, I have a commitment, structure and constant reminder that no matter how much porn I watch, there is only one way to have sexual gratification... by earning it.

    I am lucky I have I nicer keyholder, if I had to confess to @Mandynjack and other won't settle for less KHs, It would not be pretty. Although I probably need the correction. I do however appreciate the thoughtful mental kicks you give us in actual connection and commitment to our partner. Thanks for the post.
     
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  17. Ma'at Rebekah
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    Ma'at Rebekah Active Member

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    fred....

    for those who wish to live or visit a fantasy world it is your life and you are welcome to it. we decided that if it was not real then why bother. so we set our minds to make a community and a lifestyle where fantasy plays no role. we live as a group on a very large privately owned piece of land in separate homes. the town is not on the map. all my pucks friends are now ma'ats and pucks. ( not much help there). yes he could break into the closet, take a sledge hammer to the safe and hope he can do all this before community members respond to the alarm. he can no longer pass as a straight man and it would take surgery to restore the male image. we own 3 businesses where image is very important . not only would he hurt himself, his wife, children and the many friends that work for us he would destroy a lifetime of work and dreams.
    to make the cheese more binding with the last election the local sheriff is now a puck and with any luck in the next election our county prosecuting attorney will be a ma'at.
    that,s just the surface layer of security and ensured reality. we understand that there are risks involve as there are with all worthwhile ventures. as there are in a ssc relationship. a loose cannon could be very dangerous to either of our communities so if i am going to accept the risk i want to do it for something real not make believe.
    in all fairness i might be deluded so i asked my puck what he thought of what fred said. " yes.. i will cut off my dick, destroy my family, business and friends because why? fantasy is better than reality?" and he walked outside to feed the animals.
    fred, we may not have covered all the bases but we have not found a hole in our security nor has a puck and you have not mention anything we have not addressed.
    by the way there are many in the bdsm community who will tell you ncc is about trying to be real and ssc is about politics and allowing the sub to still be in control while they fantasize what we have.
     
  18. Fred.SM
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    Fred.SM New Member

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    Seems like quite the cult commune, but nothing you said change the fact you have no right to do anything non-consensual. If you do he has every right to seek law enforcement, and you will absolutely face sexual assault charges. He can easily get out like this, and has no need to “cut off his dick”.

    Now, if you are somehow implying the local sheriff is bought in your game, that is an open admission of corruption and conspiracy to commit a crime. You are just proving my point by showing what it takes to make fantasy a reality.
     
  19. Ma'at Rebekah
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    Ma'at Rebekah Active Member

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    well fred he did say yes once and knew that he could say no but either way it was his only chance. as far as a crime being commit it is only in your mind,. because the majority of the people of this county elected a sheriff that is sympathetic to our cause is not a crime. since we have attorneys in our group and we have been assured that we stand on solid ground your accusation are false but then we are aware of people who can not accept our way and would say and do things to attempt to make us live as they want us to. i believe we call them intolerant.
    fred i can accept that you prefer a fantasy world. why can you not accept i prefer reality? do you feel threaten? are you jealous of what you can not have so neither should anyone else? or do you feel these xy's have been wronged? the problem there is to the soul each one will tell you they feel for you because they have the best life possible bar none and you are still looking.
    my puck has always said, though i do not appreciate that if a man can't keep his word he should cut off his dick so all can smell him coming. the cutting off his dick was referencing he would have to break his word and that is not going to happen.
     
  20. Fred.SM
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    Fred.SM New Member

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    Are you referring to a chastity contract? That is not how contracts work. There is no principal/agent contract you two can enter that could ever allow you to do that. Even in power of attorney the principal can revoke the agent’s power at any time, and the agent’s power can never overrule an express direction from the principal. If the agent says something and the principal says otherwise, then no court on earth would enforce what the agent said.

    Hell, even for different types of contracts, courts routinely throw them out when they are perceived to be unfair. Prenups get thrown when it is unfair to the spouse, NDAs and non-compete agreements get thrown when they are unfair to employees, etc. Judges will even add or remove certain clauses in contracts at their own discretion.

    So if you think your contract gives you any real power to do something without express consent, or after consent have been removed, then you are just setting yourself up for a sexual assault charge.

    You implied your sheriff would somehow not aid him if he were to seek law enforcement help. That is a clear admission of corruption, and anyone who assist you in enforcing non-consensual acts will indeed be committing a crime.
    This is a country of inalienable individual rights, and the police only exist to protect these rights. It makes me sick that anyone would try to subvert this over some silly sex fetish.

    Again, play SSC or don’t play at all.
     
  21. Nicoftime
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    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

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    Still trying to figure out all the special words and abbreviations. Pucks, seem to be interchangeable with a person as well as balls. Xxy and xx, male and female I guess, I didn’t sense the urge to shorten anywhere else but gender is as good as any I suppose.

    A whole community in on your kinks? Elected officials? Communal living? It was pretty intense knowing my kh told one of her friends, you certainly have the “what’s that key for” beat.

    With the whole community pitching in, and your local government helping as well, keeping porn away from (puck?) him should not be too hard, congrats.
     
  22. Okiedude
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    Okiedude New Member

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    I don't think you are judgmental at all Mandynjack. I find your idea of not being able to view nude females to be very sexy. In fact, you inspired me to volunteer giving something up. I will explain.

    I am a single male who has been locked for 177 days, and counting, for a Superior Female Goddess. We live in different countries from each other. Since we have no physical, she allows me, in fact she encourages me to watch softcore glamour nudes. She even encouraged me to edge to the softcore nudes, and when she commands me to have a ruined orgasm in my cage, she allows viewing of the nudes.
    Because of your influence, I volunteered to stop edging, and having ruined orgasms to nudes. I will no longer cum to nudes, or edge to them. This is a big sacrifice, and I am proud to say I took the leap. I am completely committed to honoring this act. Even though I live in another country from my Goddess, I have never cheated, or tried to pull out of my device. I highly doubt I could if I wanted. My Goddess has encouraged me to still view softccore glamour nudes for non-sexual uses. in other words, to still admire the models stunning beauty, but not edge, or cum. I think of it as going to a living art gallery.

    I must also add that my Goddess, and I have made a contract that states I am in permanent chastity for her until I find a soulmate, a KH/Girlfriend/Domme/Wife that will live with me. Until that time, I am permanently in chastity for her. We made this agreement because I want a soulmate that I will live with, and she is not available for this. When, and if I am luck enough to find this soulmate, I will definitely follow your lead Mandynjack, and have the same relationship you, and jack have. I will not view a nude Female again if that is what my soulmate wants.
     
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  23. Mandynjack
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    Mandynjack Well-Known Member

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    Well done you. Your devotion will be well accepted by your current Goddess and your future Goddess. Stay strong and access the power within your own mind for the submission you crave.
     
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  24. skD
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    skD HausCuck

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    Hahahahaha.....my KH has done that to me. She was out on the town and I was locked at home relishing her having a good time. She had me pop another Viagra to 'heighten' my experience ;)

    She has forbidden porn although I can view things that are chastity related. I confessed to her that I masturbated way too much before we journeyed down the FLM road together. She sees that porn viewing is a waste of productive time. She is right!
     
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  25. xMariax
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    xMariax Member

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    4:39 AM
    Well, maybe I'm to lax with my boyfriend but I do allow him to do it, as long as he ask for permission to do it. You see, most of the time it is difficult to be always on mode tease with him, being sexy or just let him pamper me or workship me so yes, I use it as a way to keep him edged and teased. He knows he absolutely has forbidden to cum without permission so he just stay there, watch some videos on his freetime when I allow it, dripping pre-cum and making his blueballs a lot more worse. Another reason I do it is because I love the sight of him enjoyng porn but not to have permission to cum, it's quite frustrating for him and make him remember what other males, the ones not in chastity, do every time they want to.

    So, long story short, I don't see it as something too wrong if it is authorized and supervised and if at the end there is not happy ending for him ;)
     
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