Now that he's locked up...Help!! ;-)

curtsy hi chastity lock sounds very cool and exciting time. i cant wait to hear more. hope it goes well. umm maybe you could sissify him a little bit for your pleasure like make him wear panties and such. to give ya more pleasure with that. well hope it goes well.

sissy caitlin.

 

curtsy oh very good to hear he might like that. umm idk since im a sissy, not sure if ya know what that is. but maybe tease him like edged him to a orgsam then stop right before it. also make him do things like chores for you then let him out afterwards if he does them well. also play like games of rolling a dice each number on the dice means something. ex 1 means some spanking 2 pleausreing you only. 3 locked up for a longer time. 4 ball tourte 5. a few edged orgasms 6. maybe betting let out playing with it or time taken off. i hope these help you along !!!

 

yes your very welcome !!! and yes please do i would love to keep updated on this. if you ever want to ask me anything else feel free to priavte message me anytime.

sissy caitlin.

 

Welcome to the site ChastityLock!

Just my experience, so please take it with a grain of salt...

For me, I enjoy being in chastity, being submissive, etc. It sounds like your husband does also (it was his suggestion after all). Personally, when my Top extends my chastity sentence or denies me an orgasm, it turns me on more! It's frustrating for me in the moment, but in a good, fun, kinky way. That's the whole point after all. So for your hubby, especially since he's new to whole thing, he is very turned on right now and he probably doesn't mind getting his chastity extended by 1 day at all. It is probably turning him on more.

There are full spectrums of rewards/punishments. One example:

• 1 day chastity extension = exciting
• 30 day chastity extension = still probably exciting, but will more certainly get his attention

Many dommes swear by a 90 day initial lock up "break in" period (after the male can safely wear his device 24/7)

The longer he goes without orgasm, the more willing he will be to do anything to please you. For me, after about 5-7 days of being locked up and occasionally teased, I am ready to do just about anything if I think it will get me some attention (still kind of selfish on my part, I know, I'm working on it

I would also highly recommend figuring out other punishments besides extending his chastity duration. They can often be much more effective.

In this lifestyle, everyone has different preferences and predilections. Try to use as much communication as possible (interrogations, journals of his thoughts and fantasies, etc) to find out what gets your husband truly excited, what his fantasies are, and what he's not really into. Use this information to your advantage.

Again, back to spectrums:

• A light spanking = exciting
• A firm spanking with some painful strokes = exciting, but also gets the point across
• A mild caning = I'm scared and I will not do that again! lol

Pain can be very effective. Just take your time and work up his tolerance (and yours over time). Push his boundaries each time.

If pain is just not for you right now, you can get some instant satisfaction from his disobedience by giving him some productive chores. Have him:

• Wash your car
• Do the dishes
• Do the laundry (folding, ironing, etc)

Brainstorm some ahead of time and keep a list of them ready. If he knows that disobedience is going to lead to some hard labor for him right away, he'll start to think twice.

That leads me to one more point. I think it's more effective to try to punish infractions immediately, especially as he's all horny right now and his imagination is running 100 mph. It goes back to basic psychology with rats and electricity If he's disobedient and it goes unpunished, not only does he start to think you're soft or "not into it", it also gives him time to fantasize about all the possible kinky punishments - giving him sexual satisfaction. Instead, if he comes to realize that disobedience leads to immediate, real punishment, he'll learn quickly.

This lifestyle can be very tricky to get right and it will take you some time, so please don't get frustrated. It won't always go as planned. Lots of communication and lots of trial and error and more error, and eventually ecstasy and happiness for both of you. Just have fun along the way, keep exploring, and make sure you stand firm in what you desire from him.

Oh yeah and tease the hell out of him without letting him cum

 

i really like that alot lockedinwi very good i say for sure !!!!

 

If I were in your heels, I would probably lay down the law. You say you're not getting enough pleasure, while he's getting whatever he wants. Time to turn that around. I wouldn't worry about panty-wearing or spankings or any of that stuff; just tell him that the next time you lock him up, it stays on until you decide otherwise. Period. Then make sure he spends a few days (or nights) pleasuring you, without any release for him. Once you're happy, let him out. Or tie him to the bed, unlock him, give him a handjob (with or without release), then lock him back up again. Next time he's locked up, do the same thing. And don't worry about his whining; it won't kill him to go without an orgasm for a few days.

I realize that this doesn't work with your plan to have the two of you cum together, but it doesn't sound like he's too concerned about it, so maybe you should put that idea on the back burner until you've had a few satisfying cums on your own.

And it should also be stated that chastity play will not 'fix' a broken relationship. If the two of you have problems, this won't cure them.

 

ChastityLock It sounds very much to me as though he is topping from the bottom. he must learn that you are the one in control and if he refuses to listen then the chastity ends. Just hand him the key and forget it.

 

He's the wrong attitude. He's topping from the bottom.

If he's to be dominated properly, he's to do what you tell him, not what he wants you to tell him.

So first up: tell him he's to concentrate on your pleasure not his own. While you deny him his. So no hjs or bjs for him; and keeping him locked 24/7 is a good start.

But fundamentally, it's what you want for yourself that's the key to the way forward. What's to do is what will get you there.

Best wishes.

 

It sounds to me as if you haven fallen into the "as well as" trap whereas you should have been entering the "instead of" system. What has happened is you have allowed him to talk you into giving him something else as well as all he already has and even though it is on pretext of being used to refrain his activities he is taking it all, the idea was that it was to serve as a method of preventing him doing certain things of which you disapproved hence the instead of. I fully agree with everything the above posts advised you need to let him know in no uncertain way that the device stays on for an indefinite period with no extra input from you
until such time as you see some kind of improvement in his manner and until that happens he is to remain locked in the device. If he complains then really its his hard luck and he should just shut up whining and start trying to correct his ways to gain your favor again. He will eventually accept things and start to change but only if he sees he is no longer getting what he wants from it. Be firm and tough with him and if he outright demands you to stop and remove it then decide whether he is actually worth your love anyway, if he knows he is upsetting you to start with then maybe he isnt worth the effort trying to change.

 

hello i really would enjoy hearing updates on how this is coming along for you both thanks and good luck. ashley

 

Hello chastitylock
I think that it is very hard to be in charge when you are not use to it. You cannot turn a key and say your in charge, it is a state of mind more than a show of strength.
My advice is to give him some orders to do around the house and let it have nothing to do with sex and just make sure he does what he is ordered to do, and just for both you and your sub can used to there new role in the marriage.
hope this helps ...... Spider

 

We are all avoiding the real issue. The OP is looking for sexual pleasure from her husband, not housework or other slave duties. His behavior is terrible and very self centered. I do agree that he is "topping" from the bottom and continues even while in chastity to indulge in his selfish needs.

How is this pattern broken? It depends on the relationship, of course. Let's assume that outside the bedroom the OP's husband is worthy of her love. The problem exists inside the bedroom (premature ejaculator, porn addiction, etc.). I would suggest that the OP figure out how to have a "communication" night. He will be locked in chastity, of course. Maybe a glass of wine for each. Maybe communicate naked. But, each has to communicate their needs.

The possibility exists that he can never meet her needs. Then, the whole dynamic of the relationship changes. The OP will lock her husband in chastity, not to improve his lovemaking skills ... but to deny him lovemaking. Meanwhile, if the relationship has a strong bond outside the bedroom, he will suffer the loss of her sexual attentions while she finds a lover. Trust me, if he is locked in chastity and she goes out on a date (and possibly a night of glorious sex), her husband will be beside himself with jealousy, envy, lust and a whole new attitude towards his wife.

Cuckolding is not easy if keeping your marriage intact is also a goal. But, if the OP is faced with a dismal sex life or cuckolding or breaking up the marriage, I would urge her to look at cuckolding as an option (even just the threat). If he is a sub - then make him a true sub. If she is horny for real sex - then she should go get some!

marcus

 

Sounds like you're off to great start ChastityLock! I think you're diving in with the right mindset and a good plan going forward.

Just wanted to add a couple suggestions about his porn habits. Just ideas...
#1: Could try limiting his overall intake of porn (which it sounds like you've already started), and then the porn he does get to view, perhaps it could be incorporated a little more into the overall power play. For example, you give him 30 mins to watch whatever porn he wants. Then you start a timer (maybe you don't tell him about the timer). If he goes over the 30 mins at all, he faces punishment. A couple times of this and he will have no choice but to be thinking of his time limit and therefore you, the entire time he's usually engrossed in his porn.

#2: Have him keep a porn journal, so whenever he is lucky enough to be allowed to watch porn, he must write a short summary about each video he watches. He also has to rate the video and write down what turned him on and what he didn't like. A privately shared Google Doc between just the two of you can work out great for this. He should also be made to link to each video so you can watch them if you choose. I bet you'll get to know a lot about what turns him on in a short time.

#3: This one would be a really fun experiment. Give him 1/2 - 1 hour each day to watch porn. Tell him for every two minutes of porn he chooses not to watch will earn him one minute of teasing from you. You can make the ratio whatever you want. Maybe if he chooses not to watch porn at all that day, he gets a nice long tease and he can roll a dice to have a chance at cumming. My bet is that he'll watch a good amount of porn for a few days, but after a while he'll start to opt for the tease and the dice!

(To be extra evil, use a weighted dice and decide for yourself ahead of time if you think he deserves to cum or not)

 

Ashley, he still doesn't get the point. He has no say on how many (if any) times he gets to cum. My wife just ended a 68 day drought (for me) on our anniversary. I wanted to have sex again the next morning and she said no. I begged, but its our anniversary trip, she replied "Yes, and you got as many as I want you to have". I accepted without pressing the matter further.

Your husband needs to realize who is in charge, in my opinion.

 

There is nothing like getting close to cumming, having the Mistress get her big O, then look at me ans say "Okay, I'm done." Being that close adn having to stop, knowing it's going to be a while before you get the chance again.... Puts a sub right in his place.

Oh, yes, I know this feeling...

 

well i wudnt dare to tell any Mistress what She shud do.