Not sure if I belong here.

Discussion in 'Introductions' started by FootLover1989, Mar 5, 2019.

  1. FootLover1989
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    FootLover1989 Member

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    Hi everyone,
    I'M thinking about chastity and giving the key to my gf but there's few things that I'm affraid of:
    1. I masturbate a lot And I would like to stop, and have fun only with her. But she's vanilla, never had an orgasm. I've tried basicly everything to make her cum but nothing happend. Now we basicly stopped having sex becouse of an argue. We're trying to get back to it and I though that chastity would help but not sure about that. I feel like the fact that she's not cumming makes me less of a man, but she says that she's ok with the fact that she is not cumming and asked me not to worry about that. It looks like we both lost interest is sex with each other and I don't know if chastity would help or make it worse.
    2. I'M a sub only in regards to sex. I'm working on manager position and have a lot of woman workes that i work with. I'm on charge and I like it. I am and I want to be in charge of our everyday life but i think my gf will try to turn it into a FLR. I dont want her to use chastity against me in everyday life. Having that in mind is there a point for trying it out or will it make things worse?
    Any way, every opinion will be helpful.
     
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  2. Consensus
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    Consensus Long term member

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    Well, as a complete novice myself here, it would seem you have found the right place. As to your questions, I don't know.

    You say you have tried everything, has she? I mean, has she tried toys like a wand for example? Can't comment on the rest as my experience and understanding is limited.

    But anyway, a fellow new person welcomes you!
     
  3. luckyhubby83
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    luckyhubby83 Long term member

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    Buy a Hitachi magic wand. Get it from sybian as they still have the old school higher power ones.

    She will cum with that. I assure you.


    Practice makes perfect with you being able to make her cum. If you masturbate a lot you should see if she would be willing to help you curb that with Chastity. She may enjoy the power over your orgasms so much it helps get her in the mood. With women, a lot of the arousal and lead up to a orgasm is mental. Figure out what makes her tick, and expand upon that.
     
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  4. Shepherdsflock
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    Shepherdsflock Long term member

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    What you describe is essentially my wife and I a little over three years ago. We had been married seven years at that point, she had never had an orgasm ever in her life, I was dominant and she liked it that way (except in the bedroom, as I later found out).

    Long story short, chastity probably saved our marriage. I was honestly ready to look for sex outside of the marriage because our sex life was just awful. She hated being penetrated, never wanted to have sex, and just saw no value in sex at all.

    I had developed a very frequent masturbation habit to cope with our abysmal sex life, sometimes 2 or 3 times per day.

    It was my desire to stop masturbating that led me to explore chastity devices. I had no idea about all the kink and bdsm stuff that focuses on chastity devices.

    I introduced the chastity device to stop masturbating. My wife was initially concerned that it might hurt me. Once that was cleared up, she actually loved it. It was soon after the introduction of the chastity device that she experienced her first orgasm ever.

    She still wants me to be dominant in every aspect besides sex. She doesn’t want a sissy or a slave, but now that she has experienced a sex life where I am not able to use my penis, she would never ever go back. She has found that she really enjoys teasing me, and playing with me in ways that remind me that I will never have my cock in her again.

    I don’t think you are in a bad situation. Just be careful with how you introduce everything and listen more than you speak.
     
  5. LesterBallard
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    LesterBallard Long term member

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    you're far from unusual here with that set of experiences. Stick around. You may get something useful.
     
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  6. Rectrix
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    Rectrix Long term member

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    Inspiring stories and teachers like this are why you want to stick around @FootLover1989 .
     
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  7. FootLover1989
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    FootLover1989 Member

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    Ok, it looks like we're getting somewhere. We bought a Doxy wibrator some time ago and my gf loves it. It seems like she finally had an orgasm (not much happed on the outside, she screamd and laugh like crazy for a while). She said she did :p iii have a questions: is it going to get easier in time? It only happend few times. Its better than before but it would be nice to make her cum without the wand.
     
  8. MissyB
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    MissyB Long term member

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    glad you're making progress and gf is getting some orgasms. just keep trying to see what is the best fit for the two of you and it will be better. goodl luck.
     
  9. MrsBR_Saiph
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    Yep, it's all about the wand!!! Every woman's best friend. If she has difficulty reaching climax you can't own that. Unfortunately some of us are just built that way.
     
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  10. MrsBR_Saiph
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    MrsBR_Saiph Hotwife & Keyholder
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    May always need the wand, again just built that way.
     
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  11. Eve
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    Eve Long term member

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    Agreed
     
  12. sissy_connie
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    sissy_connie Long term member

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    Every woman should have a Hitachi Wand which is far superior to any man as the Wand is "unrelenting" and leaves a woman "satisfied every time" unlike sex with a man.
     
  13. MistressS
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    Both of you need to sit down and discuss it. I think she and you need to relax. Tensions makes it hard for her to orgasm, as much as you try. Do you perform cunnilingus or use a toy. Sometimes peoples upbringing makes it hard to achieve an orgasm due to the fact she was brought feeling this is wrong. Take it slow makes sure all your attention is focused on her. Just because she don't orgasm doesn't make you less then a man.
    As for your over masturbation a chastity device is a great idea. See if she would be interested in controlling your orgasms as you help her achieve hers. If you let her make you a chaste it would be Her call as to when and where you are allowed to cum and under her conditions of when you can have a release. most males in positions at work that are in charge due tend to be submissive wanting the other person to take control. I hope the two of you work it out and have great sex. Remember this is sex and when intimate it is love.

    MistressS
     
  14. corsac
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    corsac Long term member

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    My wife had never orgasmed until I got her a wand as well. We have a body wand, it’s rechargeable and still has plenty of power after years of use. Definitely a good investment. Just be careful, she really loves to keep me locked long term now that she doesn’t feel bad about it! Glad you stuck around!
     
  15. MrsBR_Saiph
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    I agree the wand certainly does its job everytime. I however very much enjoy sex with a man. You won't get me to jump on that fantasy.
     
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  16. madams-sissysub
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    Hi there and welcome to the mansion!
     
  17. BR_Saiph
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    BR_Saiph Self-published author

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    As much as I enjoy the pleasure your wand brings you, nothing beats the enjoyment we both get from you being with a man (and not just myself:))
     
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  18. PetLewis
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    My wife was 40 when we met, and she'd never had an orgasm except laying on her front with a vibrator.
    I regularly manage to give her an orgasm now, but it wasn't until she started letting me play/finger her arse while giving her oral.

    Might be worth a try - go slow, start with your little finger (the size difference between pinky and index might not seem like much, but it's like the difference between a twig and a log when someone's not used to it), and use lube for preference (saliva works, but it's not as smooth an entry as you'd get with lube).
    It's nothing like a fast finger-banging either - just slow and gentle, in and out, so it tickles and stimulates the nerves, without battering or over-stimulating them.
     
  19. FootLover1989
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    FootLover1989 Member

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    Ok, do it begins. I ordered a chastity and waiting for it to came. Now I have to give it to my gf, hopefuly it all turn out right. Not sure how to do this. Wish me luck :p
     
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  20. filltee
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    filltee Junior Member

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    I echo what everyone else has said about getting a Hitachi or similar wand
    Hard to believe really that there are any women that don't have one these days ...

    Also
    i may have missed it but is she on any medication, some can have a very negative effect on orgasms for both sexes.
    If not has she any hang ups or is there something she would prefer you do or do not do .... communication is a big thing especially for women.
    and are you sure that she does not feel that she is undr pressure to have an orgasm to please you?
    feelings like that can prove to be very detrimental
     
  21. MrsBR_Saiph
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    MrsBR_Saiph Hotwife & Keyholder
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    Best wishes
     
  22. FootLover1989
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    FootLover1989 Member

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    Not on any medication, some vitamins and suplements only. We talked about this, she said she need time, but 5 years should be enough :p basicly everytime we have sex i focus on her to do what whe wants and to make her feel good. Maybe chastity will help.
     
  23. FootLover1989
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    FootLover1989 Member

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    Ok, it happend. I gave her the device. I wore it for some time. I think she liked the idea but not sure if the device is a good fit. Everything is fine until the erection, the balls turn Red/purple/bit dark so we dont use it for now. Waiting for bigger rings, maybe it will help. Anyway, she asked if she would tel me to put it on and go to work, will I do it. I guess she will tell me to do it soon.
     
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