Not locked but denied

I am in much the same situation. I am coming up on 6 months of no full orgasm. In these last six months Mistress has milked me two times an allowed two ruined opportunities.
I love her all the more.
Our next step will be a cage. Then I will never be able to touch her property. Only Mstress will have that opportunity.
I love her so much.
Like you, the orgasm belong to her. She decides when her boy next orgasms. I am hers.

 

Couldn't do it without being safely locked up

 

I have always been chaste on honor system. I have a device, but its just a toy for me/us, not an instrument for chastity. And i have been chaste dor much more then most of the device-wearers

 

I am on honor system most of the time. I do wear devices, as I have several, but more times than not, I just tuck myself in my panties. I am tempted to pleasure myself often, but try to resist. My weakness keeps me at about one orgasm per month.

 

I couldn't do it, sooner or later, probably sooner, I'd relapse and start masturbating. Besides, for me it's not the orgasms, it's the erections that need to be controlled for me to reach the level of submissiveness we seek.

 

I am locked all of the time now. Current duration crossed 6 months a few days ago.

 

I have a similar situation, although much less "ahead" than you. First of all the initiative is all mine and therefore the difficulty of avoiding masturbating is enormous. But the road is that and even if she makes me cum and does not ruin me the simple abstinence makes the desire completely different from when, as you say, I wasted energy to masturbate to orgasm. my goal is to show her how things are better so I hope to have her help to hold me back. Also because I don't have a lot of passion for cages even if their usefulness is obvious.

 

I couldn't do it unlocked, the cage and key seem to have magic powers

 

I think you all have more self control than I do, you have my admiration

 

I’m currently going down the road of denied without the cage for now and being conditioned that way. The panties 24/7 is a reminder of who is in charge.

 

I have been in mental chastity for 2 years now and its been that long since I had an orgasm, though I do get teased and played with.
I have several cages but as she says why should she lock her toy away when she likes to have it handy to play with.
I don't even get ruined orgasms just lots of teasing and denial and dribbling.

I personally found that after the 6 month mark it becomes much easier and the desire for me to masturbate has vanished almost completely and my focus is entirely on my Owner and her pleasure.

 

There's quite a few on the honour system. There's something immensely satisfying about it.

 

A silky cage might just make things worse for me.

 

You're a better man than I. After the 6 month mark I'd be at something like 180 orgasms.

 

There is no honour among masturbatours.

 

It does get easier, but there are still moments where I get set off. That moment of weakness. That is why I need a device. I am only human!

 

I am also on the honor system and get a ruined orgasm once in a while. She loves to keep me horny and submissive. So do I.

 

Completely honor system for me. I sometimes fail. When that happens I immediately confess and accept consequences. My Ms understands what a struggle it is for me and enjoys that part of it too.

 

I have been “hands off” for over 4 months now. I have noticed the same change in my attitude towards masturbation. I prefer to save my desire for wife. I prefer seeing my wife to seeing porn images. I prefer to have her decide when we should and shouldn’t play together. (However, I do not feel that I want to be completely denied orgasm. I only like the build up of being teased and made to wait.)

Strangely, this seems normal rather than a kink. As I look back, the easy access to pornography, the modern society amount of free time, and the ability to have privacy are all things that did not exist 50-75 years ago. Although I suspect men have found ways of self pleasure for thousands of years, I doubt it has been as readily available as it has been in modern society. Does it seem that pornography and self pleasure (considered normal) are actually the kink while abstinence and devotion (considered kink) are actually the normal way relationships are designed by nature to work? Anyone else feel the kink is more normal than normal?

 

My cage is mostly symbolic, although it does reduce sensation and deny erections, so it does reduce temptation for sure. Still, I have no problem unlocking (our just pulling out) to pee, or to wash myself, and the few hours I might be unlocked for some activity now and then. The chastity is still in place.

Like you, I am wired more to give pleasure and touch, over wanting to pleasure myself. That goes back to 20+ years of my wife wanting sex to be focused on her, and over when she's done. Now, with full denial, I'm way more giving focused. I often feel horny, and frustrated, but at the same time, have no desire to masturbate, or have an erection (although I do miss them greatly) and have sex. Honestly, it's a really confusing state to be in. I crave relief, but I crave giving pleasure more, and my keyholder has been working hard for years to get me to stop wanting self pleasure.

 

What are the consequences?

 

When I think of the mental aspect of it I think depending on your focus has a lot to do with it. I sometimes wonder how much my thoughts have changed. We are all so very different. I think my awareness of being locked 24/7 is never really in the fore front. A good example is yesterday after dinner we were sitting at the table. She had a wonderful look in her eyes. She asked me to come over to her and gave me a real big passionate kiss that that lasted about 30 seconds. After the kiss She looked at me and said: "This is when I love the fact that you are locked up, I don't have to worry about it going any further."

That comment goes right along with how I think. I don't know about others, but it really goes both ways with us. In the past there were times that a kiss like that would lead to something else. And She has even said that it was both ways. Sometime She felt obligated to continue, but really wasn't feeling it. I would notice that She wasn't really feeling it and I never really wanted to impose myself on Her. That never happens anymore. We can approach each other any time and hug and kiss. The intimacy that has evolved from that has become wonderful for us. We are able to share ourselves anytime without the thoughts of either of us wondering what the other wants. Sometimes women just want to be held and feel the warmth of those they love. I know people use chastity in many ways, but for us, it has changed our intimacy to a wonderful song for us together.

 

I have to do both. When I travel, I'm out of the cage and on the honor system. I'm usually too busy and tired to think about self gratification. When I'm home, I'm in a JailBird and it is the best for me.

I usually fail my chastity when I'm a) home, b) have time on my hands, c) unlocked and more often than not she has just granted me an orgasm and not seen to it that I was locked up. 'Well, I came yesterday... no harm is stroking it again today, right?"

 

Been there done that. That's how my summer spiral started -- once I started I decided not to remind her I wasn't relocked.