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Not feeling it lately

Discussion in 'The Vault' started by Nicoftime, Sep 8, 2017.

  1. Noticed a lull in my subbie mode lately, and the worst part is that she noticed it too.:oops: She even asked if I had been touching it myself (been unlocked while a blister spot heals).

    I don't know, I had a few days of really horny, but not really very subbie. Is it cause I'm not caged up? Is it because she hasn't asked or told me to do the maid thing in awhile and I kind of just let it go to the wayside? Is it that I have been in boy mode so long that I don't feel submissive? I don't know.

    She gives me plenty opportunity to serve her orally, and foot rubs still occur, but not in a feverish way like I cannot wait. We did have sex last week and I got to finish, but that was awhile ago and it's not like I'm not horny it's just that I don't feel this urge to please as strongly as I normally do.

    The closest I came to being that way was when she was playfully teasing me that she was going to smack my balls. I turned away and hugged her, both of us laughing and her giving one more attempt at a swat before I submitted that I was sorry and we went upstairs. It's an odd feeling. I obviously didn't want her to smack my balls, but I did want her to take control and do it if she wanted to...tie me up if she had to. That was the closest I've felt to subbie in awhile.

    I don't know what it is. Just this morning (still uncaged) she grabbed my cock and started stroking a bit. The sudden pleasure down there startled me, I didn't even get hard right away. @Mistress Amanté@Mistress Amanté means the world to me and I want to be the doting partner she wants and deserves.
     
    Mistress Amanté and Sublifter49 like this.
  2. Maybe you are in a transitory phase where your sub side needs to be embedded a bit more. The initial excitement has worn off and now it is becoming more real. If you are going to make this last it can to be intense all the time, that isn't sustainable.

    As always don't forget that communication is key to the success of any relationship.
     
  3. Thanks, we're fine I'm just in a lull. Been in manly mode lately and probably just need correcting...just not so willing to volunteer as I was. I'm sure she'll straighten me out lol.
     
  4. It really isn’t always easy. After the first 6 months or so, the sex-game buzz aspect of it all starts to fade, fast. And finding a sustainable pace and dynamic becomes really really important. She’s got to be able to be dominant enough to keep you where she wants to (IMO), and of course you have to be submissive enough to accept that everyday isn’t breaking new ground any more. It’s not the same. If you’re like me that will be hard. And even when you find equilibrium, if you’re like me, it will still be a struggle. So far on balance I’ve found it worth it. But undoubtedly there are days it seems not to be. And you don’t want to be needy, but at the same time you have to have enough excitement to keep it at least worth it. That’s my experience so far anyway. We’ll see what next month brings, lol.
     
    ineverknew and Nicoftime like this.
  5. I call it alpha mode and sub mode and it's a constant mental battle for me. I have been uncaged for 10 days at this pointo after having my PA peircing. It will be 2 months min before I can be locked up again. At this point it has become a struggle to do my wifey duties. Its football season, I have new metal pulling at my junk (and it feels good at times!) My queen says that it's like after I cum and I have no interest or passion for her. It's making her not want to use me either. So its tuff for me right now as well. I FEEL YOUR PAIN! It's an ebb and flow and why most of us in this life style end up locked more and get less orgasms over time atleast that's how It goes for us.
     
  6. If you are interested in being caged, after my piercing I was getting pretty shitty so ordered a cage from Amazon with vertical bars on the tip which allowed for my piercing. It wasn't attached to the cage, it just was a cage I could wear without hurting my piercing. Cost around 28 bucks or so.
     
  7. It is normal for libido and sexual feelings to fluctuate over time. I wouldn't worry too much, just discuss things with your partner, and maybe try a few different things to usual.
     
  8. Sorry to hear that Nic. I'm kind of in the same boat recently. I find myself going through the motions of doing my chores and responding to her instructions. What @Thatguyontheinternet@Thatguyontheinternet says really scares me. I'm at about the 7-8 month mark and I'm scared as hell that once the buzz is gone we'll lose all we have built. Regardless of all the sexual aspects of chastity I love my wife and I love that chastity has given that back to me in such a profound way. I don't want it to stop, but it's so elemental and not at all cerebral. You can't decide to be submissive, you just have to be it. My wife has grown to understand that and has a variety of tools to help me get back on the path. I'm hoping it's just a bump in the road, for both of us, and that we come out the other side with an intact FLR. I don't want to go back to where I was.
     
  9. Oh I didn't mean to make it sound life altering, just one of those things that life throws at ya.

    My schedule changed, she is now busy at work and ready to go to bed as soon as I get home. Add to that I have an odd schedule with my son(3off 4on 3off 4on 4on 3off 4on 3off).

    Just never seems time to do the things that got us here, or we are too tired. We will get through, just a bump in the road.
     
  10. Sorry, guess I put my mountain on top of your molehill :D. I hope it's a bump in the road for us too. It's like your tag line "The suspense is terrible....I hope it lasts". I just want it to last and I'm scared it won't. It seems like a kind of magic to me at times. I was frustrated because my wife wasn't having sex with me and the answer was to lock up my penis and reduce my orgasms 100 fold. It doesn't seem to make sense, but it works. Just hope it keeps on working.
     
  11. Would it really be a bad thing to take a break from Chastity for a little while. This life style totally changes your life, so maybe a break would be good than you can start again Fresh. Just my Opinion
     
  12. I appreciate the suggestion Mash. I did do a vacation from chastity back in June and it wasn't a good thing for us. I'm certainly open to it and we do have discussions on a regular basis. I guess for me it's more of a fear than a reality at this point. The idea of going back to where I was scares me. I love this life and I want it to keep working. I just have to wrap my head around the "honeymoon" period coming to an end.
     
  13. I go through days when I'm super subbie and then the next I feel all old grumpy Alpha again. I bite those moods down and hide them but my Lady still notices. I've asked her to assert her self a little stronger (pegs, clean-up duty, and maintenance punishments) but she's chosen not to do so. Sometimes the rhythm just gets out of sync for a while. But it always returns. The main thing is to show and maintain intimacy, even if it is just cuddling up to her and stroking her hair. You can be alpha while still being pleasing to her.
     
  14. Proud to call you mine. The cage is a must though, my pet. Your attitude changes when uncaged.
     
    Madamebellestoy, slave_m and RexVa like this.
  15. I know how that goes...I let him out for a week due to the hurricane and I’m still working on getting back to my version of normal!
     

  16. Wait locked MORE orgasm LESS. And I went into this willingly....... wtf was I thinking..... ooh yeah I'm a punishment whore ;)
     
    Wonderwomanssub likes this.