A locked partner can indeed introduce a fun side to a sexual relationship and there is nothing wrong with that. Live and let live... However, a truly committed locked relationship is anything but a bit of fun or a game! The tag of 'toy' is an indicator of status, a position to the superior Female, an asset, owned and led by its Mistress/Wife/GF/KH. And the origin of chastity for most if not nearly all couples, comes from the fantasy, desire, compelling need of the male. The often long journey from the first inkling of arousal, to the eventual acceptance of the Female to lock the cock. Then the 'keeping the dynamic fresh' challenges that beset couples, again mostly driven by the male to keep that initial thrill going over prolonged periods, years often, while probably not realising that a real power exchange is taking place. The original fantasy is now indeed very much the reality. Women and men have different motivations for this type of lifestyle, rarely for the woman to need it for sheer sexual kicks, although it may feature at times. For the woman, it really is an acquisition of a power that permits her all manner of opportunities to live the life she desires, at the expense of the sacrifices of the male. He has worked hard to achieve his goal, the subservient chastised male, to the dominant powerful Wife. So why do so many chastised males take the risk of losing it all, for a bit of porn watching? I have read many times now on here, how difficult it would be for a Wife or GF to monitor the males access to porn and/or female nudity! How unrealistic it would be to prevent the male from viewing. SHE SHOULD'NT HAVE TO! If the relationship really is the real deal, then the male should realise how much of a privilege it is to have found a woman who has agreed to work with his fantasy. When we girls finally agree to enter into such a relationship, then you need to know, it's on our terms, not the male's! To view porn or female nudity is a serious breach of trust. Be careful you don't lose what you worked so hard for. Apologies for the long monologue, but hopefully it will resonate with the tempted chastised and the women who love them.
Well said and very true for the vast majority of those here. Having just posted about porn watching I think it’s safe enough to take the leap and say @Thatgirl’s thread prompted (or at least was the final straw?) that lead to this one? I wouldn’t presume to speak for other members. But I would note that we do happen to occupy the rare space taken up by those couples whose chastity was female initiated, and by and large female perpetuated. Until very recently i would have had no issue had she decided she had gotten over her kink for the cage. More recently, as time’s gone by and our lives have gotten more and more entangled with chastity and all that goes with it, I do find that i would be disappointed if all of a sudden she decided to give it up. But She’d still be more disappointed if I were the one that said ‘enough’ of the cage. That Realty has huge implications for the way we live this. From the start Shes had to push this along very carefully to keep me WILLING to wear the device, while still inching her takeover of our sexual lives along the female-dominated path. That’s where much of our mutual expectation that things stay relatively light and fun has grown from. That and keeping things fun is also a life motto that I believe goes a long way toward ensuring long term happiness and helping in decision making in many facets of life. That ALL said, please don’t mistake that often repeated motto of mine to mean that every minute is dominated by a requirement that this all be fun for ME. I promise, and she’ll attest, that’s not the case. I agreed to this as a nod to her fetish, and to this day work hard to try to behave in a way that supports that fetish. Thankfully, I have enjoyed many aspects from the start - it’s just taken some time to adjust to the device itself, and the slow but inexorable transfer of control that she’s shepherded me through along with it. Regarding the vast majority of couple’s dynamic here wherein chastity is a male initiated lifestyle choice, to your point that the female shouldn’t HAVE to play internet-content-cop, or any other sort of “cop”, I don’t disagree. I’d only point out that it’s been my observation that a huge number of men here are engaged in this with KHs whose interest waxes and wanes, and is at best secondary to their own, and that often I see the men doing things that are pretty clearly meant to see if their KH is even still paying attention... It sounds to me like you don’t occupy either of the above camps - neither was your chastity dynamic female initiated, nor do you lack the engagement required to keep your chaste male from wondering about your commitment. That’s awesome for your locked male - if this was his fantasy, then it sounds like he’s getting exactly what he wanted. But imagine for a second it was more your thing than his, and how that would change the way you approached it all. Either way, I love reading things by people from the other end of the spectrum. Opposite though your chastity origins may be, your commitment is nonetheless enviable, and serves as a great model for the KHs from all sides of the multi-sided coin. Cheers (Excuse spelling and grammar please. Posting in rush hour traffic again. I know, i know, BAD!)
Your words are very Wise but their is always more than one wat to look at things. For example if a male gets stimulated looking at a picture it can motivate him to do things for his Mistress, if she's the only one that benefits from his looking at a picture it can be good for Her also. I'm not Disagreeing with you it's just a different way of looking at the same thing. Please don't be offended
Ive never went in on the “superior female” mantra. I’m not sure what letting someone making my sexual decisions has to do with being better than another. Me watching porn isn’t a breech of trust any more than watching Seinfeld. It’s not a game or just a fun activity, that doesn’t mean that I must avert my eyes from anything that might arouse me. One thing I would call a breach of trust is her spending time, and affection, on online subs. It would make what I am doing less special and lose all meaning. Another breach of trust would be to take my submission for granted. Ignoring me and just assuming that I will follow without being led would break the trust I have in her. To each their own and all that, but to lump everyone into “fun and games” or “obey me I’m better than you” is narrow and doesn’t encompass the vastness in between.
To cover the vastness, would require many pages of narrative. That's not the point. It's just my perspective and those who agree with me. You clearly have decided how you want your locked relationship to proceed. Enjoy!
Couldn't have put it better myself, And on the basis that she can make it wriggleproof (all sorts of techniques here ) and 24/7/365 then she'll want for nothing!
Again it all comes down to the initially agreed dynamic of the realtionship and its evolvement. Mutual choices If I was in the relationship with the OP that her guy is in I know she would expect her word to be law on everything and the very fact I was in that relationship would mean I had consented to and perhaps even craved that. So her word being law would go without being said and her views on my watching porn respected. I am however unlike the OP's partner not in a realtionship of that type and do not envisage ever desiring to be that controlled. if that was his life choice andhe needs to either stick to it or re-negotiate. I would also point out as has ben said by many others before. Each party should be aware..Men and women's opinion of their partners porn watching habits vary very widely and are generally gender specific ..... mars and venus comes to mind. Men (not including the porn masturbators) generally find some form of porn will be entertaining and women see their men watching porn as, threatening, offensive a betrayal and more. Its only a difference of opinion but 'It's only' does not seem to work in this case.
I wouldn't normally respond twice..... What on earth are you getting from your relationship? A Woman who makes your sexual decisions is indeed exercising her superiority. I sense a lot of topping from the bottom! Naughty boy needs to recognise his station.
Superiority? How on earth does that make one superior/greater/ better/insert adjective here? What am I getting out of this relationship? Well we share love, trust, companionship, happiness, our sorrows, laughter, and when it comes to sex she calls the shots. Topping from the bottom? Didn’t I just say she calls the shots?...yep I did. So unless I’m doing some Jedi mind trick, we do what she wants when she wants it. Heck I even do some things that I wasn’t real keen on but have learned to enjoy them because it turns her on...which turns me on. My station, I’m sorry but you may have confused my relationship with my partner as something besides a partnership. We are equals, I treat her as such and she treats me the same. We might have different roles or skills but that doesn’t make one less and the other more. I’m in charge of cooking. I’m better at it. That doesn’t make me superior, it makes me in charge of the kitchen. She’s in charge of my penis, she’s better at it. It doesn’t make her better, it makes her in charge of my penis. The very notion that any gender is better than another, or that whoever is in charge in the bedroom is superior is incredibly short sighted, and screams the same mentality as racism. Can’t a strong independent intelligent woman enjoy the empowerment and self confidence of caging a man without losing a partner? An equal? I won’t rant on your thread anymore than my reply, I don’t believe I made a dent, and doubt I will sway you into seeing my point, anymore than I will be swayed to think I’m inferior.
Actually I should apologise. As much as I embrace ambiguity, I have a real problem with contradictions. It doesn't sit well with me, I like clarity on these things. You are clearly making something work outside of the general Female/male dynamic for this type of lifestyle. But I just can't resist.... at the point She is in charge and lets be honest, well done for being good in the kitchen, but not too sure most here are too interested in your culinary skills. The focal point I'm guessing for most here; She bosses your cock! Hence has superior context! If that makes you feel an equal, then ...... ok, I guess. And as a Female who really does feel She is Superior to males, I really will try and get the last word in.