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Discussion in 'Chastity and orgasm denial' started by L-u-c-y, Feb 26, 2019.

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  1. L-u-c-y
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    Staff Member Owner of Chastity Mansion Administrator Verified Female

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    Is anyone here a member of NoFap?

    It's come to my attention recently and I noticed that there are a lot of shared interests with the parts of the chastity community.

    They have 410,000 subscribers.

    https://www.reddit.com/r/NoFap
     
  2. Love&Passion
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    i read some of the stories on there when I first noticed my unhealthy relationship to porn was an addiction. (oct. 2015) It went hand in hand with the ted talk from gary wilson who often cites stories from NoFap. I believe it to be an amazing self help group.

    They even have their own forum / with usually more than a 1000 people simultaneously online.
     
  3. L-u-c-y
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    Do many members use chastity devices to help with their addiction?
     
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  4. Junebug15
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    Interesting
     
  5. Love&Passion
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    Love&Passion Active member

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    I wasn't sure so I dug a little. Seems there is some mention of it but considering the huge amount of posts pretty few are about devices.
     
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  6. Tom Allen
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    I'm a mod for some other chastity-related Reddit groups, and I'm familiar with the /r/nofap community. It's less about the sexual aspects of denial, and more about self-improvement by not wasting one's free time wanking to porn at every opportunity. I'm not sure chastity devices would be a good fit over there; for the most part, wearing a device tends to make one *more* aware of their genitals. /r/nofap is more about developing willpower to resist, which (hopefully) would carry over to other aspects of one's life.
     
  7. lex_g5
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    lex_g5 New member

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    So the difference is they are:
    Self-chaste

    And here we are:
    Domme/Dom-chaste

    Lol

    Something like internally willed vs externally supervised?

    Respect.
     
  8. Jake Statefarm
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    Jake Statefarm LUST4NOCONTROL

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    Porn/masturbation/lonliness, etc, is actually a problem world wide. We have all these cool electronics to communicate with, but surprisingly, people are even more lonely and are lacking in physical relationships. I've watched several personal youtube testimonies on it as well.

    I actually have fallen into this category, hence having more interest in FLR/chastity. Not that I think its a cure, but can be a road to more (or less, ;) LOL) control over poor/addictive behavior.
     
  9. New to cage
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    What are you wearing "Jake" from State farm
     
  10. Jake Statefarm
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    Jake Statefarm LUST4NOCONTROL

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    I don't have a KH/FLR, but do dabble using a chinese version of the HT on weekends. Its pretty comfortable for the most part, but I can tell the new HT is a better design.
     
  11. sylvana chastity
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    sylvana chastity just Syl

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    just made me feel that my member is...:p:D
     
  12. Adam444
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    I have to wonder if a device on a penis as a way to prevent masturbation isn't akin to putting a lock on a liquor bottle for an alcoholic. Might work in the short term but a change in behavior, thought process, whatever is the key to long term success.

    From my vantage point, chastity in a relationship seems more about a redirection of energy from one's self to one's partner. Obviously that can go in a lot of different directions but sex (or perhaps accurately the lack thereof) seems to be the onus.
     
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  13. Tom Allen
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    You touch on a point I've been making for years: chastity devices ar, essentially speaking, sex toys. They don't stop you from thinking about sex, from wanting sex, and in many cases, won't even stop you from getting an orgasm. In fact, for many men, just having some plastic or steel locked around your tonker makes them think about it even more.

    Most users are not into long term denial, they are into some teasing with hopes of release in the not too distant future. That's not "chastity," that's sex play.
     
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  14. buildup
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    What kind of minimum period do you think would qualify as long term denial?
     
  15. Finn-egan
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    We are essentially the same here. It took quite a while, but we managed to use a great deal of behaviour modification and patience to get to the point of me not wanting to masturbate. For my keyholder and my wife, it's about taking away many of the habits I've had, and ways I've looked at sex, and finding new ways to enjoy intimacy. Years of doing Karezza with my wife removed the need for orgasm, and the desire to hump a person to achieve orgasm. Sharing her orgasm, and not having my own became "normal" sex. Me wearing a strapon has become normal sex. me being locked day and night has become normal. My keyholder didn't like the idea of me sneaking off to masturbate or edge, and views it as a gross habit for little boys, and not chaste men. Having to do it in front of her, and admit I was addicted to it, totally changed how I looked at myself and my relationship with masturbation and my dick. I still crave it, and if I find myself nearing an orgasm for some reason, I still want it, but if I was unlocked for a month, I'd not masturbate, and I'd avoid erections. I'm learning to look at my dick as something that's just for peeing with, and pleasure as something that is given, not taken. It sounds harsh, and extreme, but it's actually been really rewarding so far.
     
  16. LesterBallard
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    NoFap is where I aim to be
     
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  17. pupperly
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    Chastity turns me on because my lack of self control with masturbation makes me feel out of control of my life. I am a failed nofapper, very weak willed. Want to lock up and not experience the constant frustration and temptation.
     
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  18. Love&Passion
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    Dear Pupperly, if you haven't done so check out the nofap website and or sub reddit. I am sure you will find a ton of useful info. If you relapse after nofapping do it again, don't give up.
     
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  19. pupperly
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    I have - this has been a multi-year journey for me.

    I always considered chastity "cheating" at NoFap (and there is naturally a proportion of nofappers who would agree in such a big movement).

    The following quotes I have picked up and saved as they helped me make the decision to self-lock and to not worry about it. I hope they are helpful to anyone considering self-locking who is worrying they are "cheating" or "giving up" by using chastity.

    a nofap discord server moderator on wearing underwear and chastity to prevent impulsive masturbating:

    "I think it would help to sleep with underwear. At least in my case I found out that wearing even 2 or 3 layers (underwear + 2 pants) makes my subconscious less willing to watch porn/fap. Also I wouldn't call it cheating because the goal is to not relapse, not to get yourself under constant conscious decision making of not relapsing."​

    From the article “Why I encased my junk in plastic”:

    "I figured that if my willpower isn’t strong enough to stop me from masturbating, it also isn’t strong enough to get me out of bed to go to the bathroom and unlock. So far it has worked like a dream. I awaken aroused but can do NOTHING about it (everything is encased in hard plastic), roll over and go back to sleep, or get up for breakfast and a shower...

    I don’t intend to use the device permanently, but hopefully I can use it as a tool to make relapsing more difficult until my brain has balanced."​

    User NfProgress on the NoFap Forum (this directly relates to my experience):

    "In other threads, I noticed that there were a subset of guys who tended to have night relapse syndrome, where they wake up, are horny, and then within minutes (sometimes seconds), a relapse is well under way (or completely over). I think either a chastity device or other protective clothing might be a good idea for them simply to put a barrier between relapse and give a little extra time. Sometimes it only take a few seconds of sanity to right the boat and keep the ship sailing."​

    User FreeLocked on the nofap forum:

    "I also found out about something else in my search, chastity devices. My purpose in my search was because to will yourself to be able to do anything is wonderful. But some of us just need physical things to help us.

    Its no different than a software block, or careful entertainment choices. Those are blocks in place. Why do you need those if you have great will power? Because, it is just in case. It reminds you that you just can't, you shouldn't and thus you won't. It gets you past those critical moments."​

    as an impulsive and lazy person, staying in a 'management' mindset that I don't want to masturbate takes constant effort. Being unlocked at night can result in me just holding tight to a soft toy I have specifically for this purpose to keep my hands busy while I just lie on my side and try and remain mindful and not slip into automatic, impulsive behaviour.


    _______ warning: homosexual material ______

    my interest in chastity isn't entirely because of NoFap - I find it unpleasant to have my cock groped during sex as a bottom, its very annoying, and being locked puts a helpful barrier between casual men and where I dont want to be fiddled with. being fetishised for being fairly well endowed is also extremely annoying because all my effort in the gym goes into the rest of me, not my dongle. having a much-reduced or tightly locked away penis is also very arousing for the power play and humiliation aspect.
    _________________________

    the above quotes I found very helpful in getting over my anxieties that I was unmanly or "cheating" for deciding use chastity. it's a useful crutch and I recommend it if someone feels the extra hassle would be a good trade off for the added help of having their peen locked away. They don't however represent the views of nofap as a whole - just the part that I found most useful. I hope this has been helpful.
     
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  20. Guest 4926
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    I am member of NoFap, freelocked. Glad part of my post was able to help. I like what they are trying to do. I went there on my journey in to the wonderful world of chastity. I just tried to level the playing field on the matter of chastity devices. Their seemed to be remarks against them, like their a cop out. I think that people should be open minded to the idea that it is one option that can work for someone. While the mind may need retraining, I think a chastity device can do that. I have been in mine 15 months. It has been much more than just a restraint. I personally do zero PMO. Though I have never been into or suffered from addiction to P or M, I have retrained my mind because 24 7 365 chastity has become so rewarding and fulfilling, that O is now permanently off the table for me. Could I take off my cage and stay chaste? Maybe. The question is, why would I? I love my cage. Instead of feeling good for a few moments, I feel good all the time, because my cage is locked on me.
     
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  21. lessthanzero
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    lessthanzero New member

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    I feel like I am in the minority here, but for me chastity is about an authority exchange with my owner. She owns and controls my cock and chastity is a physical reminder of that and a symbol of the authority exchange. I like that she controls my masturbation, not because it is a bad or unhealthy thing, but because it is her controlling my sexuality. Chastity is a means to do that. I want that control to excite her, turn her on, and make her feel powerful.

    I love the humiliation and emasculation of giving that control to someone else.

    I don't find anything unhealthy or unnatural about masturbation. I just like the idea of it being controlled by someone else. The same is true for many other aspects of my submission.
     
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  22. Guest 4926
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    Lessthanzero, I don't think you are necessarily a "minority". I think everyone is unique, and we individually have our own goals. On CM, people use chastity for a vast array of objectives. You all drive a car, but some drive to work, some go to the store, others race them. We are all using the same vehicle, just to accomplish what we desire.

    If you are doing something that satisfies a healthy need for you and your wife, and you are both good with it, and it draws you closer as a couple, than how is that a bad thing? However, when people who are either alone, or have gaps in their relationship, and are failing to find satisfaction, and instead of focusing on finding that together, try to fill that void with P or M, this is where problems arise. Now instead of pursuing or improving a healthy relationship, P or M can cause one to turn inward, focusing on themselves solely. This can create a selfishness that will damage existing relationships and could create road blocks to forming new, healthy relationships.

    It is unfortunate that P has destroyed many homes. Marriages fail, children needlessly suffer at the hands of the selfishness of others, all because of failing to trying to resolve things the right way, and using these things as a means of self-gratification.

    NoFap appears to be trying to tackle this epidemic by showing how healthy habits form healthy minds and hearts. This will, in turn, will have a positive effect on the whole person. They will become more balanced, outgoing, well-rounded. The effect will be that they will be a more pleasant person, taking an interest in others, which will make them more attractive to others, leading to more healthy, fulfilling relationships of various kinds.

    So if you are using chastity to fulfill a need or an objective, and it brings health to your relationship, thats
     
  23. pupperly
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    pupperly New member

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    well NoFap is made up of people who do think masturbation is unhealthy, so naturally you would be in a minority amongst NoFappers who wear chastity to help with nofap.

    On Chastity Mansion? not so much. your motivations reflect the norm. Hence this thread was started so fap-stro-nots could make themselves visible.
     
  24. cagedjon
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    Very very well put. I agree 100%. Nothing wrong or unhealthy about masturbation. I just love my Goddess being in control of it.
     
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  25. Guest 4926
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    To be clear, somehow my tablet went awry and I didn't finish my post.

    I am not a fapstronaut as they call themselves. But I was trying to iterate the theory of what seems to be their purpose in helping those who have lost control and need help or mentoring to free themselves of their self proclaimed addiction.

    Moderation and control are something they have lost their hold on. It's like anything else, like alcohol, nothing wrong with it, but if you abuse it and it affects your life, health and family, then you need help.

    I am not saying this to pass judgement on anyone or anything, whatever any person does is their right, unless it is detrimental to others.

    So I get why NoFap is out there and also CM. Which ever path you need to be on, its good that they are here.

    I think CM is very cool. Great to be here.
     

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