nikki is finally introducing himself...

Hello Chastity people,

i am called little nikki. i am a service submissive, out crossdresser, out genderqueer, bisexual, pansexual and anything else fluid and untempered by mainstream societal conventions. Service and submission are deeply important to me, as is exhibitionistic sluttery, so I have defined myself as a Hospitality Slut. i would love to make a career of this.

I want to improve and expand my service skills, and learn how to provide pleasurable and useful service to kinky people with varied tastes.

i am a sensual, sensitive and responsive bottom, and definitely have some masochist in me. i also have a very womanly and spankable ass and love being on my hands and knees or otk. *blush* I prefer bottoming to women, but boys are sexy too.
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Hmm, that is the start of my bio on that Kink behemoth Fetlife dot com. The rest will be a personal note about why i am here at Chastity Mansion.

i have always been kinky, and always been anal oriented.

i have spent my life mostly single. i did have a 3 1/2 year more or less regular semi monogamous relationship that ended a little under two years ago. i have never been married, or even close to it.

While i loved the woman that relationship was with, it was destined to fail, as i was just way to freaky, a plain fact that we tried to ignore, but that ultimately was a major factor. We are still friends.

Once we broke up, i embraced my sexuality, came out of the crossdressing closet, and have been generally out to at least the city i live in (Portland Or) ever since. i clarify that because i am not directly out to my immediate biological family, though they might have some clue. i dress in ladies things at work when i feel like it, and definitely throughout most of my socializing and clubbing and whatnot.

i have also been pursing what i call a Poly-Submissive lifestyle. i spent 10 months collared to a very passionate, caring and devious woman. It was however not a directly sexual relationship, and she encouraged me to do my "dating" with others. As it was my first Dominance/submission oriented relationship, i found it hard balancing my loyalty and worship to her, but tried to date outside, and managed to have some fun. Our relationship revolved around feminization (including sissy maid training), service and generally seeing to Her needs, and i learned a lot about somewhat selfless giving and patience.

We amicably parted, and i went into a short free lance period. i had a friendly service relationship with a dominant lady, who for the period i was with Her had three male submissives and many others she played with. She gave me something i had been missing in my previous relationship: lots of pleasure and pain play: spanking, bondage, clothespins, cock and ball torture. Also, i would dress cute and clean her apartment, and help out with parties. She introduced me to many folks in the local kink community. This was an excellent continuation of my service experience.

i also was spending some time with another lovely dominant lady and we were discussing the possibility of me moving in and being Her "houseboy". Again, like the other lady of the moment, they both had "primary partner" slaves and lived a freely sexual lifestyle, so i was again, learning to settle for less central places in these women's lives, and to enjoy the act of service and energy exchange.

Into all of this walked the Goddess that i currently serve. Of all these women, She challenges me the most. i adore and worship Her endlessly. She allows me to express my adoration and allows me to be in Her superior presence, and in return She uses me in mostly useful ways: She has a semi public Dungeon space, and so i am constantly cleaning it and helping Her with Her numerous events that She has there. The training continues and i am always trying to improve: She is very particular, and because my service to Her is often public, i am working on my etiquette and intuitiveness, and always trying to be quicker and more useful in my cleaning, hostessing, and general servitude to Her. She is well known (both as a member of the local kink community, dungeon owner and also as a successful Pro Domme), and my visibility as a servant, submissive, sexy crossdresser and sex slave has been expanding. As well as the honor of serving Her, She indulges me in allowing me to worship Her beautiful feet, and when She feels like it i get wonderful beatings from Her hand or one of Her many painful and beautiful paddles, canes or other instruments of pain giving.

i ended my service to the two other ladies so i could properly concentrate my energy on the challenges of serving Her, the Goddess that i worship above all others. One of them i stayed friends with, one i did not. No one is perfect, and jealousy CAN override friendship sometimes. oh well.

Again, it seems that the career path of an ambitious service
submissive/hospitality slut is one of polyamory. i am currently Her only personal submissive, but that could change. She is bisexual and prefers women for Her primary sexual/romantic relationships, and has a primary partner who lives elsewhere. i have been continuing to learn the skills to be a sharing and non jealous worshiper and submissive... it is always a challenge, as i struggle to deprogram what regular society has taught us about relationships and the like.

i have also met another Goddess, and my primary Goddess has been allowing me to serve Her as well. They are like Artemis and Aphrodite (if you don't know your Greek mythology, wikipedia it!). Aphrodite and i hit it off, and i have a much more relaxed service relationship with Her. She is an expert and educator in anal sex, a professional sex worker and a free love hippie for the 21st century. She has begun to use me as a "Stunt Bottom" for Her anal workshops. Last weekend Aphrodite taught a class on Anal sex at a huge kink festival, and i was fucked for an hour by her fingers, butt plugs, and strap ons in front of 60 people. my primary Goddess (Artemis), was in the audience with Her primary lady and they told me i did very well. *blush*

Artemis also has been training me in anal: for my birthday in early March She bought me a new and very large butt plug. It hurts and fills me up and focuses my attention and servitude on Her. i must always wear the plug when i write in my journal to Her (mon, weds fri), and also must wear it on the days i am allowed to masturbate/cum (tues, thurs, sun). my day of service to Aphrodite is usually on Sunday, so i am very honored to be allowed to cum in Her presence: either by my own hand, or humping Her leg or armpit. Never am i allowed to insert my cock into Her, though She has been allowing me to don a latex glove and touch Her in pleasuring ways. Really, She has plenty of sex with others and enjoys my company because i am not penis oriented and generally adore and worship Her in a way She doesn't get from other men...

*Frustrated submissives note: Dominant women love to be unconditionally adored and obeyed, many regular women do too, they just don't know it yet. Similar lessons have been learned in all my time serving all of these ladies. Take your time and do it consensually but do truly worship and You will be appreciated.

i am also encouraged to play with others, and do when i have the time. i check in all my playing with Artemis, mainly because She wants me to be safe, rather than because of any sense of ownership. "i am not Your owner" She told me. "If i was You would have no rights". But She has no interest in owning me at present, as i am still slowly gaining Her trust and trying to make myself an indispensable servant to Her dungeon.

As You might of gathered, i do not have intercourse almost ever. You might have also gathered, that Artemis is controlling my sex. For months now, She has been having me be on a "honor chastity" schedule. It was not scheduled, but handed down from Her daily for a while, but She then decided on the weekly schedule, so as not to have to think about it all the time. i keep a log of exactly what time i cum (i am allowed to masturbate between 10 PM and Midnight on tues, thurs, sun), and often am told to write Her detailed descriptions in my journal of what masturbation activities i do. She also has had me working long term on getting my cock in my mouth, so when alone, i always cum upside down, in a perverted head stand, my cock inches from my face, cum streaming directly down into my open mouth, showering my tongue and kissing my lips. i really recommend this to any of you who are allowed to masturbate, it is a wonderfully positive way to luv yourself!

She has also been talking about putting me into real chastity since our first interview, and that is why i am here. We have reached a phase where She is telling me to do some research on Chastity, and this website has been really excellent for that (Thank You!)

i am very nervous about being put into physical chastity. Chastity really wasn't my kink. i thought it was a horrifying idea initially when i heard about it. However, when Artemis started talking about it, something switched over in my head. i was still scared of it, and it still wasn't what i would have chosen for myself, but i knew immediately that i would do it for Her, because it would give Her pleasure. i might be coming towards Chastity from a different perspective than others here: it truly is something that i do for my Goddess, not because i desired it as a personal kink.

However, through all my research here and other places, i have become nervously excited and turned on by the idea. i have gotten all turned on reading about it and have tried very hard not to touch myself while in research mode, as this is not allowed. i have admitted to Her when i have and been punished for it.

i am thinking that the CB2000 would be the best to start with. i know that once it is on, i will be pretty much forced into constant "skirt" mode, as all my jeans are very tight and it would be obvious. So this would be a death to my boy identity as my coworkers will totally notice that i am cross dressing everyday instead of once every couple of weeks. Jeez.

She is experienced, and i believe has done this before with previous submissives. She understands how powerful it is for us to hand over the control of our sex to someone else, and does not take it lightly. i still fear the day it goes on, but am ready when She decides the time is right.

IF you made it through this whole epic story, i salute You. Thank You for reading. Thank you to Miss D for ensuring that i told this story. i was nervous about doing it, and certainly did not want anyone to think that i am bragging about my lifestyle. It is what it is, i have pursued and worked hard for it. i consider myself fortunate to have the amazing experiences that i do, but i also spend a lot of time in modes of worry and fear at losing what i have, because ultimately my fate is out of my hands... i however do my best to be ethical and honest, and be a force of positivity in the universe, so that hopefully, i will be allowed to stay in this place of lucky worship and servitude.

All comments are welcome of course... and PLEASE feel free to give me any pointers, as i know You are for the most part much more experienced than i in the main focus round these parts: CHASTITY.

Thank you all,

nikki

 

Thanks, more please!

Aw, y'all make a girl feel so welcome...

Chloe told me that there was less bulge on the 3000 than the 2000. This is important as i do tend to slut it up a bit with mini skirts and the like...

Budget IS an issue unfortunately but i am very interested in the aforementioned steel devices...

i will continue to research, and love the informational responses, thank you!

 

Thank You so much Miss D. You are so good to us Sissies.

The journal that i mentioned is a private journal, mainly a way of me communicating with Her (Artemis). Having a public journal here would be a very good idea though, thanks for the suggestion!