Newbie

My wife was like yours. Here is what I did. I asked my wife to just tease me the next time we have sex because I read about Tantric sex where by withholding my orgasm, when I finally have it, it will be intense. Plus the sexual energy I would have would make me more productive. I then promised that I would not masterbate. So we had sex a few times without me orgasming. She just teased me. I taught her about edging. When I finally had my orgasm, I made a big show of how great it was. Then I told my wife that I was curious about how my orgasm would feel if I got denied even longer so we tried.

We kept at this doing baby steps. At this point my wife never even heard about a chastity cage. It took my wife two months or so to get used to only her orgasming all the times. Used to call it fake sex. I also made sure to show her how desirable she was to me and how good it felt to be aroused all the time. In other words, I acted more than she liked me too. We finally got to the point where we both wanted to try even long orgasm denial. That is when I told my wife that I could not promise not to masturbate for that length of time but they sell devices to solve that problem and I showed her a CB6000. She just told me to get it.

After that we continued to take baby steps. To make it easy for my wife we got rid of all those fantasy rules you see online which make it work for your wife and read like a list of things you want her to do to you. We have only one rule. My wife makes all the rules, and can change them at any time with prior notice. In reality all she has to do is say no when I say yes.

Gradually increase the length of orgasm denial. My wife and I used to talk every week to figure out what is working and what is not. Remember that it has to be fun for both of you to work. Each year we would agree to the number of minimum orgasms I get for the following year, but even that could be changed. My wife would give me an orgasm if she sensed I was in mental or physical distress. Also establish a safe word that if used by you, means you are serious and all play ceases until you are OK to start it again.

Wives will feel guilty about denying their husbands. They are used to your orgasm showing that you think they are attractive and desirable, plus good in bed. Without the feedback of your orgasm, they do not feel any of that. The trick is to get them to understand that your reaction to their teasing means the same thing and their denial of your orgasm. I did a lot of acting at the beginning to show how much better I felt when my orgasms were denied. I would thank my wife after each time she edged and teased me without an orgasm. If she gave me an orgasm, I did not thank her and afterwards would complain how low energy I was and regret that I was weak and had an orgasm. Soon, she got the idea but it took 2-3 years for her to completely get over the guilt.

You also stand a much better chance if you drop the fantasy version of chastity. Locking your penis up does not make you want to do all the things that the online list says you should do. Your wife is not going to magically turn into a domme just because your penis is locked up. In fact, the only real world difference is that you are wearing a chastity cage and do not orgasm as frequently as before. Most men fail at chastity. It is a minor fetish most often used as a part of a larger fetish. If seeking a D/s relationship, start off with that and once you have that going well, then introduce chastity. Try not to throw too much at your wife. I did and it did not work at all. It was not until I decided that what I really wanted was just teasing and denial, that it worked and even then I got my wife used to it without wearing a chastity device at first.