I have been married since 1980 In a marriage that has been rocky... Suffice it to say that I am not the most cooperative husband. Due to my lack of a "good attitude" my sex life has been reduced to jerking off to porn. Recently I have come to learn of a cuckold marriage and am excited by the prospect. I think chastity is what I need to keep my attention focused on my wife's needs. Anything is worth a try to save my marriage. I have started to treat her like the goddess she is and hope to surprise her with a CB6000s to lock me up at christmas. Do I need to do any prep work or do I just surprise her?
I wouldn't surprise her. If you are a true submissive she will call the shots, be that a cage or cuckoldry. By all means, talk seriously to her about this.
In my opinion you need more Prep work. If you've been following my posts you would have heard me say many times. You need to treat your wife like the most important person in the world. More important than yourself. Love Honour and Charish her, Chastity won't fix a rocky marriage. It can even add more stress to it. Love is the greatest Gift you can give her.
Like you, I was in a pretty rocky marriage for many years and I was exploring my feminine side a bit in frustration. After catching me wearing panties, She had a come apart and soon thereafter, we began to talk and one thing led to another and finally we both bared our souls and real communication began. All of my feminizations and chastity came after that and it's been wonderful for both of us. All of this is to say that communication is the most important thing and trying to suggest chastity on her, without the communication, will probably backfire. Just sayin...
Welcome to the site. From a female's point of view, don't surprise her. Watch a 50 shades or Secretary movie and start a conversation about kink, either that or find something on Buzzfeed, they have a few bits about kink, and start talking about how much more acceptable kink is. Absolutely do not surprise her if you have no idea what she thinks about bdsm. Also, Christmas should be about getting her gifts she wants, not gifts that have anything to do with your sexual fantasies. So get her something she really wants and have the conversation at a different time.
Thank You all for the comments. My idea of a Christmas surprise is obviously WAYYY off the mark! I was obviously thinking of my own needs in a VERY selfish fashion. You have ALL helped me dodge a bullet. I need to treat her more respectfully and show her how much I value her for who she is already. This needs to be a much longer process for BOTH our sakes...
Yes, I agree with Jules and the others. It is a process and definitely requires very good communication, especially in defining your roles and interactions in the beginning. Don't expect immediate results. Do the dishes, watch what SHE wants on TV, take her shopping and for lunch, give her a massage or a foot or neck rub. Do this not with resignation or expectation, but with enthusiasm and eagerness. Don't expect immediate results. It's a process. She's noticing, whether you think so or not. Once she's convinced you are being genuine, she will want to reward you, or at least discuss your needs and desires. Seduce her. Be what she hoped you would be when she married you.
No doubt, it will take time. The most important thing is that she has to want that arrangement. If she's comfortable being dominant and desires to cuckold you, it could be a welcome change for both of you. Good luck.
Taking an already shaky marriage and trying to introduce cuckoldry into it will probably spell the end, in my opinion. For most couples, I believe entering a cuckold relationship is something most woman ease into, and that only happens when there is pure trust, care, and communication already present. For now, you might follow some of the other suggestions to help ease your way into chastity, as mentioned by @ Mistress Jules, and others. As for right now, you can begin to change the dynamic of your relationship even without being caged but can still practice a form of chastity which is still effective. Treat things like the first days and months when the two of you first met. To establish something resembling a permanent state of courtship can somewhat describe it. (ie:flowers, massages, do the housework, cooking, clean her car, let her go out with her friends, wash and fold her laundry, etc...) It won't take long before she notices some real changes and the power exchange will begin to take shape. Treat her with the type of attention you gave her when you first started dating, and expect nothing in return unless she gives you a sign to initiate something more. With regards to porn, you should limit or eliminate it unless sharing it with her. While it sounds out of the norm for you right now, ultimately, your fantasies should always include her in some way. Best to you on your new journey.
My suggestion that I tell most that inquire about broaching the subject of chastity...ask her for help. You are asking for a favor so be honest and ask. “I would like to talk to you about a problem I’m having. It’s affecting our relationship and I just can’t seem to take care of this on my own. I cannot seem to stop masterbating. I try but I always fail. I was wondering if you could help me out by my ensuring I don’t.” She will ask how. Well I have looked this up online and there is something I can wear that locks on. If you helped me by holding the keys I might be able to stop, it’s alot to ask and may seem strange, but to tell you the truth, it would be exciting to lose control like that, especially if all my sexual energy was focused on you instead of me.” “You wouldn’t have to do anything weird, just unlock me when you want to use it. I won’t bug you to get out and whenever that is will be fine with me and totally up to you. I want to start over and be a better partner, and I think this will help me work on myself.” Give her time to take it all in and she will probably give it a shot. Warning...you just told her you wouldn’t bug her, tell her to unlock you, or pressure her...so don’t. Once you are locked, take this time to show her how much you appreciate her and what she’s doing for you. The fantasy and kink stuff will wait until you are both more comfortable with communicating with each other. Hope this helps. And no, xmas and Valentine’s Day are terrible days to give someone the keys to a device. Might as well get her a subscription to a nudie mag lol...well if you’re not going to look at em I will.