New member, new life

Discussion in 'Introductions' started by xdcflyx, Jan 1, 2009.

  1. xdcflyx
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    xdcflyx Lady K

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    Hello, I've just met someone who wants to be my pet. I realize it's a huge responsibility and I want to be the best mistress I can be. I haven't made my final decision yet. I know not long ago I would have just jumped in both feet without thinking about the long term commitment of being a mistress. That's why I'm here. I want to learn what is expected of me and how I can make sure that both my pet and I enjoy each other and our roles.

    I've read "The Sexually Dominant Woman" by Lady Green. I read it for research for a story I was writing, but I plan to reread it now from the perspective not of writer, but of potential mistress. What other things should I be reading? My pet has told me his favorite video and I plan to get it and watch it as soon as possible. What else shoulde I read and watch?

    Any guidance you could provide would be greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance.
     
  2. PuppyMastersPet
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    Welcome to the site. I hope you find what you need. There are many great Mistresses here and Masters mine included :innocent0002:.

    Kris x
     
  3. maid katrin
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    maid katrin chaste sissy maid

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    Dear Lady K,

    first of all i want to welcome You and Your pet to the forum and community.

    This is hard to say as it depends on Your and Your pet's likes and dislikes. I suppose that chastity will definitely be a part of Y/your relationship so the forum discussions about this topic are a must read. As for anything else it would be helpful to know what Y/you are into.

    *curtsey*

    maid katrin
     
  4. xdcflyx
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    xdcflyx Lady K

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    Thanks for the welcome first of all.

    I have no idea what to expect. We just met a few days ago on OKCupid and we're still feeling each other out before meeting in person. I don't want to waste anyone's time by not knowing ahead what I'm agreeing too.

    He wants to be a cuckold and I haven't had anything besides cybersex since my divorce ten years ago. I joined OKC to restart my real life sex life. I am really turned on by the things my potential pet is proposing and I didn't want a monogomous relationship which fits with his fantasy of being denied sex while I'm out with other men.

    My past sex life has been completely vanilla and unfulfilling for the most part. I was married to a very controlling, jealous man who cheated on me and it put me off the textbook definition of a normal relationship (defined by the moral majority). I want to experiment and do all the taboo things I've denied even existed other than in my dreams.

    I've decided to break out of the mold, but as a first step, I'm not sure if I'm taking a giant leap. Add to that I don't know this person very well and it's kind of daunting. I've fantasized about having a submissive mate, but all I know is professional porn's sugar coated interpretation. I want to know how it works in real life before I make the commitment to lock up my pet and go hunting for bulls.

    If I decide to do this, I will take the commitment as seriously as a marriage and I'll want it to be a commitment of years. I think my potential pet wants this too so I want the real life facts before we start on the path.

    I read this back and ask myself "when did I turn into a responsible adult?" LOL
     
  5. Mistress Watchful
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    Mistress Watchful Dont believe the hype ;oP

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    :welcome: to the site.

    Have a little look around the Library section, there are a few book reviews there on various subjects.

    The one book that hasn't been review but I would say 80% of us usually recommend is "Male Chastity - A Keyholders Guide". :happy0007:

    The knotty boys book is great fun for pretty bondage, a good ice breaker for an evening of passion.

    We all keep saying we'll review it. Maybe you'll buy it and beat us all to it!
     
  6. mikecb
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    mikecb Member

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    Hiya,

    Another thought here. You speak of making a long term commitment to this new lifestyle. I have to say that, as I've read blogs here, very few of us actually end up where we thought we would when we started. I think it's risky to make a long term commitment to anything specific, especially at the beginning.

    Personally, I'd be inclined to commit to "exploring", but not commit to "doing". You may find some things you just hate, and other things you love that you never thought of. Don't lock yourself in too early. So, I'd suggest promising to "explore together".

    Another bit of advice. I've really respected some of the blogs I've read where couples blocked specific times to communicate "out of character". If you're looking for lifestyle D/s, perhaps you are the domme 24/7, except for one night per week, well established, when you communicate as peers. It allows you to spend some time processing feelings, and then give and receive feedback in a neutral way. Knowing that such a time is ALWAYS scheduled gives you both a safety valve, outside of some big argument in mid-scene.

    As you read the blogs here, you'll find that the most successful couples are the ones that never stop talking about it.

    Good luck!
    mikecb
     
  7. Miss D
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    Miss D Expert In Femming

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    Welcome Lady K - I think you have found the right place to start your adventure - lot's of good advice here. As mike says - this lifestyle is more of a growth experience - one never knows exactly where they will end up over time... but it sounds like you have quite the plans for your cucky!

    :sex005:
     
  8. xdcflyx
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    xdcflyx Lady K

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    Thank you all, again, for the feedback. It's definitely helped in my decision making.

    Just to clarify, by committing I mean that I want to try this to see if I like it, but I'm not going to give up the first time it gets hard. This is not a permanent relationship I'm considering. I don't know if this is going to be right for me so I want to explore all the possibilities. It seems like it could be fulfilling and fun, but I'm going in with my eyes open knowing it might not be what I think it is.
     
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