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New Key Holder: looking for inspiration/advice

Discussion in 'The Foyer' started by TheKeyIsMine12, Oct 1, 2017.

  1. I am the proud key holder of my husband Pietje 12 and have visited this site a couple of times before, using his account/name. I am happy to have an account of my own now because it enables me to ask fellow Key Holders, but also Locked Guys, for inspiration and advice. I am curious, not always a natural in this play, but enjoy it very much. My husband and myself have experience in the Chasity game, some very positive but -sadly- also frustrating experiences. So I can share with you as well. Recently we got into a big crisis, but happily we are now in a positive flow and taking small steps to a promising future...
     
  2. Joroincharge
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    Joroincharge Lock em up - 24/7/365!!
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    Welcome and enjoy. :):):):)
     
  3. Mistress B
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    Mistress B Mistress B
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    Welcome to the Mansion @TheKeyIsMine12@TheKeyIsMine12 . Glad to hear that things have improved for you both.
     
  4. I love you to with whole my heart, but you might already know that ;)

    Edit: to bits seems to have a negative connotation of which I wasn't aware
     
    TheKeyIsMine12 likes this.
  5. Welcome @TheKeyIsMine12@TheKeyIsMine12! You will find your way and the way you want the key to work. I have found my way. It took time, reading and a lot of open communication. Best of luck and feel free to reach out if you ever want to talk. :)
     
    TheKeyIsMine12 likes this.
  6. Any suggestions? ideas? nice things you did to him?
     
  7. Welcome, Hope we can all help you two with your positive flow. :)
     
    Pietje12 likes this.
  8. Welcome to the mansion! Like you, I was not always natural at chastity play as well. In fact, my relationship started out with me submissive and him Dominant. One day, while perusing our local adult toy store, we happened upon a chastity cage, decided to try it out for sh*ts and giggles and the rest is history! If you look on my profile, under postings, you can see the progression, setbacks and victories in our journey from the beginning up until now. You are not alone in your journey as a KH and we should all support each other in our endeavors at this awesome lifestyle!
     
    slave_m, Pietje12 and GoddessMhistina like this.
  9. A lot of it depends on the direction you want to take things. There are some good books that I might suggest. "A Keyholders Handbook", "Tips & Tricks for the keyholders" and "The Hesitant Mistress"
    I have found extreme pleasure in ruining his orgasms, he seems to enjoy that now too! Since today starts Locktober, I left it up to him if he wanted to cum last night or ruin it, he chose ruin it! YAY! ;)
    I have put together a number of fun ideas that I typed out and occasionally I will allow him to select a piece of paper from bowl and that will be the tease of the day.
    This is something that you need to make your own and trust me, your husband will follow. Have deep conversations on what you expect. We have recently started FLR. Is that something that would work for the two of you or that you would be into? We make it what fits our life the best. You will read on FLR that women get control of all the finances. I want nothing to do with paying bills etc. He is the one who pays bills, manages our investments etc. The most I will do with that is give him an allowance of what he can spend per month.
    Small steps are important. I started with writing things down that I do or don't want. For example, one thing he has to do for me each night is lotion my legs. Simple, but enjoyable for both. We are in discussion of tattoos for both of us. We will have to have them in hidden spots, due to our outside life.
    Remember, this isn't about things you do for him, it is things you do for you and for you to be happy and satisfied. I know it at first is overwhelming, but trust me you will love it.
    When my husband and I began again with chastity, he said something that really stuck with me. He said, it is what ever I want, but if this something I want, I need to want it and lead it. He will follow me no matter what direction I want to take things.
    I can send you my list of things that I have come up with. I can't post it, because he is a member as well and I can't spoil the surprises I have! Let me know if you'd like that.
     
  10. Welcome... its a journey...
     
    Pietje12 likes this.
  11. Welcome to the mansion! I too am not natural at this whole chastity thing. With that being said, it has been amazing for our relationship. Now we are doing silly things like rolling around in the covers mid afternoon!
     
    slave_m, Pietje12 and Mascara^Snake like this.
  12. Joroincharge
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    Joroincharge Lock em up - 24/7/365!!
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    But you could end it (or some of it) to her in a PM.
     
  13. Glad to read that you and@pietje12 are starting to get thing right, don't worry about getting thing wrong, the last person who never got anything wrong was not born yet.
    Try the simple things like keeping him locked and walking around the house nude when ever that is possible.
     
    Pietje12 likes this.
  14. Welcome to CM. Great information on here. Fun topics to take part in and great people. My wife/keyholder are also new to Chastity Play but have found this site to be very helpful. Enjoy
     
    Pietje12 likes this.
  15. Thanks a lot for all your supportive comments and very nice words. There is a lot of wisdom in your words. Its amazing for us too.
    I like playing with him... especially my butt is very well at teasing him. And its very funny to see how his balls seem to grow every day. There's nothing he can do about it/releasing is impossible without me, the keyholder...
     
    jemmi likes this.
  16. Question: I would like to take him swimming, while locked up. We have swum in the public pool a couple of times while he was locked up, but always wearing swimming trunks. Does any one have any experience taking him locked up for a swim in a public pool during nudist hours? Imagine us holding hands, me wearing nothing but the key, and him wearing only his jailbird cage...
     
    Ormaz, anasyrma, slave_m and 3 others like this.
  17. Joroincharge
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    Joroincharge Lock em up - 24/7/365!!
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    Never done this, but why not?
     
  18. We avoid public pools ... too much yellow water from kids!

    We, and our friends swim nude in our and each other's pools though. In short, with cage, it's fun
     
    slave_m and Pietje12 like this.
  19. Thats what I thought... if a lifeguard would approach us I can alway tell him that my husband needs the cage..
     
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  20. This is such a turn in to think about.. making my cage tight... giggling..it depends on where you want to take things... ;)i
     
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  21. Joroincharge
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    Joroincharge Lock em up - 24/7/365!!
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    And maybe one or two ladies might also approach you asking where they can get one for their bfs/hubbies?
     
  22. I'm not scared (yet) :)

    I'm just asking to keep an eye on reality. When such ideas are discussed on the Mansion, it seems like a very good idea with few people questioning it. Our reality may not match with other people's views and hitting he headlines with "pervert removed from swimming pool", is not my idea of a nice Sunday afternoon.

    Challenge accepted but let's make sure it doesn't end ugly.
     
    TheKeyIsMine12 likes this.
  23. To manage expectations: she's away until Monday.
     
    TheKeyIsMine12 likes this.
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