New here, just saying hi!

Discussion in 'Introductions' started by Wife of queens property, Jan 30, 2023.

  1. MsPamela
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    MsPamela Long term member

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    I'm by no means an expert. I'm pretty in tune with how hubby's body responds, but have no idea how any of this would work for other men.

    If you don't mind overshooting a little, you can just stroke him (or whatever else you like) and immediately stop after the very first spurt. I think of those as sort of halfway between a full and a ruined orgasm. I don't really know how well that will address post-orgasm drop because I haven't done this sort of ruin in a long time.

    What I usually do is start with some regular teasing. I don't worry about getting him super close to the edge. Really it is just a warm up to get him very hard and excited. Then I switch to limited stimulation, by which I mean doing something that feels good, but is sort of on the border of not being quite enough stimulation. A few techniques that work well for hubby:

    * Wrap my thumb and forefinger around his cock just below the head, and then rhythmically squeeze, applying a little pressure at about the same pace I'd normally stroke him.
    * Cup hubby's balls in my hand with my arm still resting on his cock. For this I use longer, slower squeezes. More pressure, but even further away from where he really wants it.
    * Use a single finger to lightly rub the underside of the head of his cock.

    The key to all of these (and I'm sure there are many others), is that it's not the full level of stimulation you'd normally give. It feels good, and will build slowly, but isn't going to suddenly go from "feels good" to "eruption".

    Long pauses are the second half of the formula. Perhaps the men can confirm, but it seems like the act of stopping in itself creates a reaction, and the starting again gives it yet another kick. I stimulate hubby for a little bit (more than a few seconds but less than a minute) then I'll stop and silently count to 10. Then I start again. If I sense a big change in hubby's reaction then I'll stop right away, but mostly I just alternate without worrying too much. If hubby seems really close then I'll extend those silent counts to 15 or 20. Most of the time hubby's orgasm will arrive somewhere in the middle of one of those counts. But it works out fine even if I misjudge it - because the stimulation is limited in the first place it's nowhere near a full orgasm even if it starts while my hand is still in contact with him.

    One advantage of the limited/pause combination is that it is far more likely to not be enough than to be too much. So you have little to lose by giving it a try. Maybe you'll perfectly ruin his orgasm, or maybe he'll never quite get there and your hand will be tired and you'll call it a night (which is still an amazing tease). Pretty much a win-win.
     
  2. Mistress ComDom
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    Welcome! Nice to see another Dominant woman!
     
  3. krystalasbaby
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    krystalasbaby krystalasbaby

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    Your the dominant one now. How about him wearing wedding panties too under his tux. Don't do with out sex on your wedding night your the domme, the top. Tie him or cuff him to the bed, have a good ride have an "O" or 2 then lock him back up with out allowing him to cum. If he complains sit on his face till he brings u off again.
    Also welcome to the site.
     
  4. Queens property
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    Queens property Active member

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    Even after weeks of lock up I can some how manage to last through sex without cumming and that is the ultimate tease.
     
  5. Chaz69
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    Chaz69 Long term member

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    And that's all you need to know, just in case you ever doubted that chastity was the way to go.
    Your feeling is very common, but it's all about chemicals in the brain.
    Giving hand jobs is the most common way to give ruined Os, and the trick is to stop whenever you think he might be getting close. He should be under strict instructions that he's not to cum and he should also have the responsibility of telling you if he's close. If he orgasms without permission, there should be punishment. Anyway, each time you stop, give it a minute or so to make sure he's not coming, then try again, eventually after you stop he will release but it won't be an orgasmic release.

    In reality, there's a "point of no return" line where, once you cross it, he will orgasm, but as long as you stop the stimulation as soon as possible after crossing that line, it will be ruined. It might take a couple of tries to get the timing just right, but I'm sure you'll both have fun trying.
     
  6. karent_50
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    karent_50 Junior Member

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    Yes you should try it! Been giving ruined orgasms for years, and yes you will probably make some mistakes at first, as you perfect your technique and learn to read your subs body language. Don't focus on getting it wrong or messing up, focus on the positive and getting it right and enjoying and benefitting form the results. Please let us know your progress.

    Gathered from a source on the internet:
    Ruined Orgasms
    What is a Ruined Orgasm?
    I guess the biggest misunderstanding about ruined orgasms comes from the word “ruined”. It has a negative connotation. It suggests something unpleasant or unfinished. It's also often called a "touchless orgasm", which is more accurate I believe.

    "Ruined" is simply inaccurate. A perfectly “ruined” orgasm is still basically an orgasm! It will feel profoundly different, and very unsatisfying! Males have been giving themselves orgasms for many years, but one thing that it is basically impossible for them to do is give themselves a "ruined orgasm". This, among other things, is what makes it so mind-blowing and such a mind game.

    The basic concept is very simple, in theory at least. Let’s say that his point of no return (the precise moment, no matter what happens, once reached, the body gives the “kick-off” and inevitably triggers the orgasm) is very precisely seven minutes, then you must stimulate him for just under seven minutes (and not a second more). At that moment, release his nub and absolutely stop all your stimulation. As long as he doesn’t receive physical stimulation, his orgasmic reflexes will lead him straight to a ruined orgasm. Mission accomplished!

    The key to a ruined orgasm is to find the right moment to interrupt the stimulation. Instead of “letting go at the last second”, you can stop much sooner. The goal is to leave him on the verge of orgasm, as if time were suspended, for as long as possible before his body triggers the ejaculatory reflexes. If you do it correctly his semen should just flow effortlessly drip down along his straining nub. The longer he hangs, the more effective and frustrating the ruined orgasm.

    Do you see that “floating” moment, the time it takes for the semen to flow without caressing it? If so, congratulations, you’ve done it!

    Benefits of a Ruined Orgasm
    • If done correctly, he will still be horny afterwards and will stay hard as a rock, still wanting more, even though he just ejaculated. Ruined orgasms are great when you want to give him some relief but still leave him horny when you lock him back up.
    • He will experience no 'refractory period' after a ruined orgasm. Whereas a normal orgasm causes him to lose his erection and enter what is called the “refractory period” where he is no longer motivated to have sex or submit, a ruined orgasm has the opposite effect – it causes him to stay hard, fully aroused, hyper-energized, and HIGHLY motivated.
    • Most of the benefits of a long period in chastity (for you - i.e. motivation, energy, increased oxytocin etc) will not be lost after a ruined orgasm.
    How to give a Ruined Orgasm
    I'll start by saying that there is no 'one right way'. But this is what I like to do...

    SETUP:

    • Tell him to lie down on his back.
    • Ideally, restrain his hands behind his back, or tell him to lie on his hands. Most males can't be trusted to not touch their nub at the crux of the ruined orgasm! Tell him he is at no point allowed to touch his (your!) nub. Throw in a blindfold for fun, if you feel like it.
    • Tell him you are going to give him a ruined orgasm, and that he should not cum until you tell him he can.
    • TIP: If you don't feel like direct skin contact or don't want any 'mess', tell him to wear tight lycra shorts or swim briefs, and then stroke him through the fabric, rather than have him completely naked.
    PROCESS:

    1. With your male on his back, take one hand (i.e. my left hand), and grip his balls and pull them away from his body until his penis is pointing up at almost 90 degrees.
    2. With your right hand's index finger, stroke upwards (from the balls to the tip of the nub) slowly and deliberately. his most sensitive part is the area on the underside of his nub just before the tip. Stop just short of this area. It's much harder for a male to orgasm with an upward stroke as opposed to a downward one.
    3. Keep this motion up for a while. Don't speed up - slow and steady is what you want, so that you don't drive him over the edge too quickly.
    4. Every 10-15 strokes, slowly rub the sensitive area a few times, or gave a few circles along the head of his nub, and then to go back to the slow upward stroking motion.
    5. If you feel his balls contract, or his nub twitches, let go with both hands immediately. Tell him to not cum - "no cumming... don't cum yet". Or you can ask him to announce when he is getting close. When he says "I'm close", let go with both hands. Count to 20, and then pull his balls away again and start with the slow upward motion.
    6. Eventually (or soon, depending on the lockup period!), even letting go completely will cause him to go over the edge. Don't stimulate him at all at this point. The cum should ooze gently from the tip of his nub and down the shaft - no spurting, no major twitching... a perfectly ruined orgasm.
    7. ADDED EXTRA: The second you see any cum being released, tap / slap his balls with the flat of your hand for 20-30 seconds or until all of the cum has been released. Be careful not to touch the penis at this point, only the balls.
    8. Tell him to clean up and re-lock his nub immediately.
    Bravo - you've done it!

    As mentioned, everyone does it differently, but this is a basic 101! Trust me, he will be begging you for more in no time!!

    Pro Tip: If your male is caged and you don't wish to unlock him for a ruined orgasm, use a vibrator or vibrating massager and simply place it on the base ring of his cage, underneath his balls. The vibrations will eventually bring him to the point of orgasm. Ensure he tells you when he is close to climax. At this point, stop the vibrations and cease all contact. If you time it right, his cum with leak out of the front of the cage in a perfectly ruined orgasm.
     
  7. The Queens consort
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    The Queens consort Long term member

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    I used to give myself RO’s during PIV sex quite often, but at the time my wife and I called them cheater shots. I’d stroke away inside her, then just at the time I was ready to O, I’d pull out most of the way and let cum dribble out onto her vaginal lips. At that point I’d go down, lick her clean, then go back and finish with a regular O inside her. She didn’t get much out of it, but I enjoyed the naughty treat! Ah, to be young again.
     
  8. Wife of queens property
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    Really informative, thank you!
     
  9. karent_50
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    karent_50 Junior Member

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    Happy to help. Once you sort that out, may I also suggest you look into milking? :)
     
  10. Wife of queens property
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    I did it! I let him out and treated him to oral for Valentines Day, and he had a RO! I thought I'd left it a split second too late, as it was a LOT! But, nope, it was a RO! :D
     
  11. Mkobey
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    Mkobey New member

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    Welcome, loved reading your journey together!
     
  12. karent_50
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    karent_50 Junior Member

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    I'm so happy for you! Was it what you hoped and expected? Was he just as horny and frustrated afterwards? Then you did it right. Will you be doing it again?
     
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  13. Nicoftime
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    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

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    Sub drop is real, but there are activities that get me right back on track if she wanted to eliminate it.

    It requires immediate response, getting right back on that horse and getting me in subbie mode again. I could give examples on what does it for me, but what pushes my buttons, may not be the same for him.
     
  14. Wife of queens property
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    Hi!! I didn't realise there would still be so much mess with a ruined one, I thought as the intensity was less, there would be less fluid. Got that wrong! Was the perfect oppertunity to cover my fingers in it and make him suck it off though, he did not like that! ;)
    But yes, exactly what I hoped for. He stayed hard, and said it felt much less intense than a proper one, so I'll definitely make a habit of continuing them. Thanks for all the advice :D
     
  15. Nicoftime
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    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

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    My wife and I were both shocked as well. I had never tried it and either had she.

    For awhile she got very good at them and would keep ruining them without cumming. We got to four before I begged her to stop doing it. On the last one, only a tiny tiny bit leaked out. She had ruined me dry. Was so hard it felt like my skin there was stretched to the breaking point. I truly did beg her to stop touching it.

    She thought it was fun seeing it all just pour out.
     
  16. The decorator
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    The decorator Long term member

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    Hi welcome to the mansion, he really is a bad boy isn’t he? But you seem to be in control, just as it should be!! Hopefully the ruined orgasms will be beneficial and even out his behaviour, if not you might need to up the anti in some way, anyway I really hope you find the best solution for you both
     
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  17. The decorator
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    The decorator Long term member

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    I think I’ve just had a ruins orgasm just reading your technique!
     
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  18. MsPamela
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    MsPamela Long term member

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    That's fantastic! I've been very pleased with how well ruined orgasms work at preventing any sort of "drop". Hopefully you will have a similar experience.
     
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