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Discussion in 'Introductions' started by Queen-J-and-slave, Oct 27, 2020.

  1. Queen-J-and-slave
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    Queen-J-and-slave FLR male chastity couple

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    We are a couple in a FLR from the UK. We have been together 14 years and married for 10.
    Queen J is naturally dominant and slave is a natural submissive and are now ready to expand and develop this side of our life.

    We started male chastity on the 29th September 2019 but have the flr dynamic for most of our 14 year relationship but in a less strict way.

    Since chastity started slaves domestic duties have became routine but our play time is limited and Queen J often loses the motivation for play time because it has developed to the point of Queen J being very unsatisfied with our sex live with slave being on the extremly small side and we have been talking about the possibility of cuckolding slave. We love each other immensely but any sort of sex leaves Queen J very frustrated due to this.

    We have joined here for advice, to speak to like minded people and for research.

    The problem we are having is Queen J feels cuckolding and sleeping with someone else is not being loyal to our marriage but he idea is slaves and he is desperate and craves for her happiness and satisfaction in all ways.

    Queen J is a bit more reserved about our relationship style but slave is more open. Even though we have been in this style of relationship for a while we are still relatively new and had slow start, so we are learning as go still. Really speaking we are relatively "new" to the more strict side of it all. If this makes sense.

    Any comments or posts we make we will put either QJ or S on the end so people know who has posted.

    ( This is written by slave from the prospective of an onlooker explaining our marriage and relationship to hopefully paint a better picture of us and so it is not a one sided bio. Thank you for taking the time to read this. We look forward to meeting people on here )
     
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  2. Jah Rubbings
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    Jah Rubbings Jah Rubbings

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    Welcome to CM.
     
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  3. Queen-J-and-slave
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    Queen-J-and-slave FLR male chastity couple

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    Thank you
     
  4. madams-sissysub
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    Hi there and welcome to the mansion!
     
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  5. LesterBallard
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    LesterBallard Active member

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    hello and welcome. You need to be absolutely clear with each other about what is acceptable and unacceptable to you, because you seem to be coming from different perspectives. You need to get the ground rules fixed, and that requires a detailed and honest conversation. No giving in to please the other, because that won't work in the long term.

    Good luck
     
  6. Queen-J-and-slave
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    Queen-J-and-slave FLR male chastity couple

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    We are both thinking the same. My queen wants to and has brought it up to me and her friends but feels it is unfaithful if she does and it is hard for her to except.

    I mentioned this a while ago to her and she wasn't keen on it at all then. Then further down the line is when she brought it up to me and 2 of her friends.

    This is the dilemma we have. But the idea excites her and she needs more than I can give.

    S
     
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  7. MissyB
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    MissyB Active member

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    Welcome to our community. I do hope you find it helpful and enjoyable too.
     
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  8. Queen-J-and-slave
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    Queen-J-and-slave FLR male chastity couple

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    Thank you
     
  9. Queen-J-and-slave
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    Queen-J-and-slave FLR male chastity couple

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    Thank you
     
  10. MSDB321
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    MSDB321 Member

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    Welcome. Sounds like she has thought about it and is liking the idea but still has a few reservations. If she has talked to her friends about it then she must be fairly close to going ahead.

    Cuckolding is not unfaithful if she tells you about it and you are happy with it. She deserves to be fully satisfied with her sex life and if you are not providing it then she is right to find a lover who can. She needs your love and support and assurance that you are with her, I think many women can separate the benefits of having a husband and the benefits obtained with a lover. In other words she can be loyal to your marriage while having her sexual needs met by someone else.

    Your comment on "a strict way" is interesting. Does she keep you locked for long periods now and if she finds a lover will you continue to be allowed PIV with her as it seems it really doesn't satisfy her?
     
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  11. Queen-J-and-slave
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    Queen-J-and-slave FLR male chastity couple

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    Thank you for your welcome and your reply.

    I believe everything you have said about moving forward with it is the position we are in. I am fully on board with her being satisfied else where and she does like the idea.

    As for being locked. Today is day 399 since I was locked and we've only had PIV 3 times in that period and ive never fully pleased her in that way.
    My tongue has given her more pleasure but she is bored of the same and doesn't really like toys. I definitely believe I will stay locked. And once it happens if she does go through with it i also believe we possibly will not have PIV as often as we have haha.

    The more strict comment is in all aspects of life from my duties to her pleasure and my discipline. Which unfortunately has eased off a little due to her frustration and not being satisfied so she doesn't want to get herself to be to excited just to be let down. She hates being frustrated unlike me.

    She will be on here later to see how it is and she will read through these responses.

    So thank you again and thank you to all that have commented

    S
     
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  12. King Hippo
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    King Hippo Active member

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    Greetings Traveler! Welcome to The Mansion!!!

    Communication is key. Just make sure all people are ok with everything and things are flexible... opened to change.
     
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  13. Queen-J-and-slave
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    Queen-J-and-slave FLR male chastity couple

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    Thank you.
     
  14. sissydavenport
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    sissydavenport Locked sissy sub / spouse of Mistress Davenport

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    Cuckolding is a funky topic. It really comes down to figuring out the base reasons why Y/you would do so. A lot of what I've seen is that myth of the "real man" and the emasculation of the sub, which is problematic for several reasons.

    Also: There are so very many ways to have sex. Invest in a wand and explore everything that She enjoys for a year like Y/you're a teenager again. Good things will happen.
     
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  15. Queen-J-and-slave
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    Queen-J-and-slave FLR male chastity couple

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    Thank you.

    With my queen she doesnt think any toys will fulfill what she needs. We have spoke about many options. But the thought of real thing is the only thing that gives her any excitement but we have got no further than talking about it.

    S
     
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  16. sissydavenport
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    sissydavenport Locked sissy sub / spouse of Mistress Davenport

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    Sounds like Y/you've already made up Y/your minds. Best of luck on that path.
     
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  17. Chaste J.
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    Chaste J. Active member

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    Cuckolding is certainly not for everyone and is a whole new ball game! Mrs Chaste loves riding her strap on! In fact it has taken over from me completely! I only get to be inside (once or twice a year) after she has been satisfied! Recommend it!
     
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  18. Queen-J-and-slave
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    Queen-J-and-slave FLR male chastity couple

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    It feels that way but as I've mentioned in a other comment my queen feels like it is unfaithful and against our marriage vows. But likes to idea.

    Thank you for your feed back.

    S
     
  19. Queen-J-and-slave
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    Queen-J-and-slave FLR male chastity couple

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    We have spoke about strap on and toys but my queen doesnt like the sound or thought of it.

    Thank you for your feedback
     
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  20. LadyMoon
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    It's good of you to be focused on her happiness and her satisfaction -- as long as you aren't trying to pressure her into anything!

    I am polyamorous (actually more of a relationship anarchist!), which means that I enjoy having multiple sexual relationships and even multiple loving relationships. To offer a slightly different perspective, could it be that your Queen is interested in taking a lover, but not interested in the word or idea of "cuckolding"?

    For me, while I enjoy having multiple men in my life, the idea of "cuckolding" doesn't resonate with me. I could be way offbase (as I don't know either of you) but it might be helpful for her to talk to people who are in the swinger or polyamorous scene about how they made the mindset change from "cheating" and "unfaithful" to happily enjoying multiple relationships. Perhaps she'll find some wisdom outside the chastity lifestyle that help her wrap her mind around the idea of a lover!

    I'm also happy to chat with her if she wants to talk to another woman who has (tbh, in 2020, my love life is pretty dry!) multiple men in her life.
     
  21. Queen-J-and-slave
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    Queen-J-and-slave FLR male chastity couple

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    Thank you for your reply.

    I'm not 100% sure what is holding her back but I think its that she thinks it is unfaithful and against our marriage vows.

    She says the idea excites her and she needs more and is extremely bored sexually. She has spoken to her friends about it to. So to me says she really needs more. And I just can not give her that.

    She was going to come on here last night and see what people have been talking about but we ended up watching tv then going to sleep early.

    I will mention to her that you have said she can chat with you. Thank you for that. I personally think that might help her decide on what she needs.

    If she talks about and finds she actually doesnt want it then atleast she's spoken to people who do live the lifestyle and she will will have a lot more of an idea of it all.

    The 2 friends she has spoken to one said she would do it and one said she wouldn't. Haha

    S
     
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  22. Chaste J.
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    Chaste J. Active member

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    Excuse my curiosity but by multiple loving relationships, I assume you mean intimate as well. How do you manage without having "favourites" and how do your partners "cope" for want of a better term? Please tell me to mind my own business if I'm being nosey. Mrs Chaste and myself are both "exclusive" to each other, we would never share it just isn't us! I actually feel very secure knowing that I'm physically "not available" to anyone else and I believe Mrs Chaste has the same feeling! When I read or hear about polyamorous or cuckolding relationships I am fascinated by how people make them work. I think us humans are very interesting in many different ways!
     
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  23. LadyMoon
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    Yes, sexual as well as loving. I think poly/swinging/etc is just a different mindset (not saying better, just different). For me, it ended up being about personal autonomy -- wanting to have freedom and wanting my partners to have that same level of freedom. But it does take a lot of communication and willingness to know there are going to be snags, but being confident that I can handle it.

    Jealousy happens, but you just learn how to move through it rather than trying to avoid it at all costs. As far as "favorites," again, it's just about mindset; some poly people do have a hierarchical structure, with a primary partner, secondary partners, and so on. So some poly people DO pick favorites! Other people are non-hierarchical, and try to allow all their relationships to evolve as much or as little as feels natural. So even with polyamorous communities, there's lots of variations and differences!
     
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  24. Chaste J.
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    Chaste J. Active member

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    Thank you so much. It all sounds like it could be quite hard work. It's very interesting the different lifestyles people lead. At the end of the day it's all about living a happy and fulfilled life. Mrs Chaste and myself are a fairly "traditional" married couple. We introduced chastity to "liven things up" a bit about 8 years ago. We are slightly kinky and Mrs Chaste is in charge in the bedroom. Even although we are fairly vanilla in comparison to some, chastity is now very much part of our lifestyle 24/7 365 baring any problems. I do appreciate you taking the time to explain how things work for you. It's all very fascinating to me. As I have said we just wouldn't ever share and to be honest I find the idea quite frightening. Over the years we have seen the marriages of some people we know crash and burn as indeed did my wife's first! I know for a fact that keeping me Chaste is genuinely something that helps Mrs Chaste deal with that little niggle of "it's happened once, I don't want it to happen again".
     
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  25. LadyMoon
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    Indeed -- I don't think polyamory is right for everyone, but neither is monogamy. I've seen poly relationships crash and burn, but I've seen plenty of mono ones go sideways as well! I think it's all down to the individuals and finding someone (or someones!) who want the same things you do -- whether it's on the topic of mono/poly, kinky/vanilla, or whatever you find important. :)
     
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