New Domme Journey

Discussion in 'Journals and blogs' started by Mistress Tea, Oct 25, 2021.

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  1. Turma
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    Turma Long term member

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    Welcome ....

    And because of the death of your husband, one must of course wish condolences and yet one must also read that something new has led you to interest and hopefully also to the desired feeling and desire.

    Have fun exploring the new gefilde and always stay yourself and follow your road, which should hopefully bring you many orgasms, beautiful experiences and definitely many new friends!
     
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  2. borbulls1961
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    borbulls1961 Madame Vanilla's property

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    You speak with such sincerity, its truly heart warming to know you are here.
    Dont worry about hangups, most if not all of us have them, comes with Life.
    Just keep your man chaste and begging to be good to you.
    BTW Nice....shoes in yr picture.
     
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  3. SubSnuggler
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    SubSnuggler Owned by Mistress2and4you

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    My sister-in-law was the same. Married to a wonderful guy, but very dominant and controlling. He sadly passed away from cancer complications two years ago. Fast forward to today, and she is attending her first FemDom convention as I type this. She is learning about a whole new world she never knew existed. (Her sister, my Mistress, is a lifestyle Dominatrix)

    We have to keep moving forward in life and it makes my whole morning to read about a woman who has found someone that treats her as a treasure and as a result a couple that find happiness together!! I wish you the very best of luck and you have found a community filled with experience and guidance that you can tap into if you need it.
     
  4. Mistress Tea
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    Mistress Tea Active member

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    Thank you for the welcome and it is nice to hear that someone is making progress too.
     
  5. Guest 2684
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    Guest 2684 Long term member

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    Hello welcome hope you find what you are looking for
     
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  6. Kylara
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    Kylara Happy feminized sub owned by Mistress PHEBUSA

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    It often began after many vanilla years, now a new life is beggening, a life you deserve and I wish you the happiest.
    Don't forget, a caged, dominated man is an happy man who just can't really ask for what you hesitate to give. I'm sure he is very happy.

    A vanilla lady is like a crysalid, one day it evolve into something wonderfull, a buterfly mistress

    You will fine many dom and sub to help and listen you here. Welcome the the mansion.
     
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  7. subcuckold
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    subcuckold Active member

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    welcome Miss, enjoy!!
     
  8. Mistress Tea
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    Mistress Tea Active member

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    My partner and I have been participating in Locktober and it has been so much fun. It is the first longer stretch of chastity we have done. It has really been a learning experience.

    It has made our relationship so much more intimate. I've also really started exploring being in control as a lifestyle vs. just in the bedroom.
     
  9. Mistress Tea
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    Mistress Tea Active member

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    You are right. I've taken some big steps, not everything is comfortable but I'm learning. We are enjoying the process and growing as we go. And I never thought I would be on a site forale chastity let alone a keyholder. Lol
     
  10. Mistress Tea
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    Mistress Tea Active member

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    Locktober is over but the chastity fun continues. We have been having fun and growing as individuals and as a couple. I'm still surprised at how well chastity works to bring us closer and give us such an intimate relationship.
     
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  11. Mistress Tea
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    Mistress Tea Active member

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    My partner and I were discussing why having him in chastity really turns me on. Being in control to such a degree and that he trusts me to have that much control is a large part of it. It's also that we are constantly thinking about each other. We are open, honest and vulnerable with each other also.

    Having such an intimate connection really makes our relationship better and makes the sex better. It really seems to be about intimacy, connection and being fully present with each other.
     
  12. Mistress Tea
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    Mistress Tea Active member

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    Life is changing quickly as my partner and I continue to join our lives together. Not always easy, and some of it gets less than fun but we are committed to making it all work. Regular life with family, kids, pets, jobs and everyday life along with FLR, chastity and touches of kinky fun play time. Not always easy to keep it balanced, especially when making it all permanent.

    Sometimes the fun is simply relaxing with kids and pets while at other times it's locking ourselves In the bedroom for some play time. It can even be sending sexy photos with interesting sayings on them.

    We have been enjoying the entire experience as we grow into our roles.
     
  13. Whiskey05
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    Whiskey05 Active member

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    Looks loike you are learninig very fast. Just don't let normal life get in the way and don't forget he needs to be kept aroused for it to work. More than a few days with no attention for him could result in him resenting being locked up and cause him to change his ways.
     
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  14. Mistress Tea
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    Mistress Tea Active member

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    That's good advice.
     
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  15. Mistress Tea
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    Mistress Tea Active member

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    I am getting more comfortable in my role as keyholder/mistress/done with my partner. I'm new to anything non-vanilla and it sometimes takes me a bit to get completely on board with things. But we are going at a speed I'm comfortable with and enjoying. One thing we've added recently is challenges from my partner to help me look into/research different things.

    The latest challenge has been fun and will be interesting to complete. It is to bind him up, using whatever technique I care to, with in a certain time frame and once bound he has to try to escape within a set time frame. I'm allowed to tease while he's trying to escape also. If he does manage to completely escape then he gets a prize. If he doesn't I get a prize. Very fun for both of us no matter who actually wins the challenge.

    The side effect of the challenge is I've learned new ways to bind him that I'm looking forward to trying. I've also learned new ways to tease him bound or not. I've also learned more about him an he about me as we've discussed things I've found while researching. It is a lovely way for us to grow together.
     
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  16. Mistress Tea
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    Mistress Tea Active member

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    I had a tough moment this morning. I was feeling a bit hesitant and unsure. I'm in complete control when it comes to sex, taking more control of other areas and I know he wants me to be happy. We have been enjoying our play time, his being in chastity and our growth together in other areas.

    I'm not sure if it is my lack of confidence, feeling overwhelmed with the rest of life or something else. I needed to know I was wanted. I needed to be sure it was me and not the kink that was first.

    I know part of the issue comes from the past - lack of physical intimacy, feeling unwanted and unloved. Having so much control made me feel as if the want was one sided. My partner and I had a good discussion about it all and I feel better. I need reassurance from him and lots of verbal and physical cues. It will get better and I will grow more comfortable but it can be a really slow process I'm finding.
     
  17. Hubby&Missy
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    Hubby&Missy Love keeps us together

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    He obviously loves you and more than that he trusts you to lead him on this journey. Keep talking and always be honest with each other and with yourself. As long as you do that the journey will only keep getting better for both of you where ever it leads you to You don't have to do things you are not comfortable with so move at your own pace. It seems like he is patient and wants you to be strong, confident and most of all happy. Don't be afraid to try new things. If you don't like them you don't have to do them again.
     
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  18. Mistress Tea
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    Mistress Tea Active member

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    Thank you for the encouragement. We are learninig to be very open and honest with each other and ourselves. He is very patient and we love each other. We are making progress but some days it is slow and hard work for me.
     
  19. Hubby&Missy
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    Hubby&Missy Love keeps us together

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    If it is hard work because it is work then back off a little. This is not about making you work. If it is hard work because it challenges you and your comfort level then smile, dive in and see where it leads. Remember though, it is always at your pace. I sense that he will follow where you lead him.
     
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  20. Mistress Tea
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    Mistress Tea Active member

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    It is hard work because it does challenge me and my comfort levels. It is so very different from my previous experience and I'm also relearning who I am still. My partner is very supportive and you are correct that he will follow where I lead.
     
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  21. LesterBallard
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    LesterBallard Long term member

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    It's good that you're giving yourself time to explore all these changes and not stress when you're finding things more difficult. If it was easy it would probably also be boring. Good luck with it.
     
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  22. little_dude
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    little_dude Active member

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    Mistress Tea, what a nice thread. Thank you for sharing! I am curious how your journey continues.

    What my Lady and myself are concerned: of course there is this kink between her and me and a lot of both of our attention goes to that. But the kink alone would not work. Our relationship is intense and while she rarely prohibits touching her in a dominant mood, she mostly appreciates when I caress her. And I caress HER, not the kink. I can hardly imagine that your partner is any different. From what I read, your relationship is young - but deep.
    What would you think of challenging him a bit, task him to show you how much he cherishes you, admires you, loves you. I bet he will do a good job
     
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  23. Nicoftime
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    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

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    My girlfriend ( now wife) and I started chastity and her being in charge after a couple months of dating. I opened up with who I am, and although she didn’t understand it, she liked me enough to give it a try. She took to it like a duck to water. She evolved as much ch as I did, it certainly isn’t the same as when we started for either of us.

    Just know, that this as a lifestyle, you get out of it as much as you put in. It requires effort from both, trust, understanding, communication, and acceptance.

    Have fun, don’t take each other for granted, and remember that life happens while you’re living it and not be too hard on yourselves when things slow down. It’s not a race.

    Good luck!
     
  24. Mistress Tea
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    Mistress Tea Active member

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    Thank you for the encouragement. We are having fun and adapting as life happens. We both put in effort and look forward to the results. It has been an interesting, challenging and amazing journey so far.
     
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  25. Mistress Tea
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    Mistress Tea Active member

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    Thanks for the encouragement. This journey has not been easy and it is definitely not boring.
     
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