Negative behavioural patterns

A lack of attention from from the wife is a definite problem when you are in chastity.

They often do not "get it" that you need teasing and attention.

Perhaps because their libido is naturally lower and they do not think about sex as much as men.

I think you are wise to discuss it with your wife.

 

Any relationship take both people to make anything work .
I can understand you "not wanting to bug her" but communication has to happen otherwise how is she supposed to know about things ?

Also she is your wife and just like you and me she is a human being not a "Domme bot" to titillate you all the time .
You say things have changed with work and kids etc , that's family life and how the real world works .
Running away and avoiding talking doesn't and won't solve anything and will probably upset her lots more than talking with her .

Chastity is a great fantasy and lifestyle for some but the reality for some is not what they hoped for especially when real life gets in the way .

From your post your sounding like a "I'm not getting what I want " moaning post .
I don't mean to sound harsh but real life is hard sometimes and somehow other couples manage to deal with it .
The ladies aren't her to "entertain us" and they have plenty of other things I to do in their daily lives without us "whining" men going on about our needs as well .

I can understand you being aroused when cuddling her etc ,isn't that the point of chastity ?
Maybe if you explain this to her she may go with it and will love the fact that she can do that by simply cuddling her and she may "titillate" you with a few words etc when you cuddle next time .

This may sound harsh but you need to communicate with her about both of your needs and goals for and whether chastity can carry on in the curent situation and maybe you will need a break tiill real life calms down a bit .

 

Non of us have a magic wand ,
Every relationship is different but communication with a partner is key ,they are not mind readers and I hope you do chat with her and sort things out .

I was replying to what I saw in the post ,that's all, and that's what I looked like to me .
Others may see it differently .
Whatever the case I hope you both sort it out and both will be happy .

 

I also use cm as an outlet. It's not all whips and chains, sometimes it's cancer and kids. Having this place has been very beneficial.

Not just for the info, but for the friendships acquired. Sometimes it's just nice talking to someone that has went through the same issues.

As for slipping back...I can't imagine it not happening eventually. Any routine is exactly that... routine. Even if I was teased daily, I think it would eventually lose its luster if the dynamic didn't mix up sometime. I haven't practiced this long enough to give a definitive answer myself.

In the mean time, this is a great idea lace to vent and receive the support from friends you might need. Just recently I won a week of being cage free. I vented that it felt kinda weird and didn't feel like erections and it's freedom we're mine anymore. He suggested I lock back up then...you know what? I did, and I think she really appreciated the gesture.

Hope things get better

 

Yes, it's actually my mistress that has someone with cancer, but the prognosis looks very good.

Still very scary for her I'm sure, and the last thing on her mind sometimes is dealing with all this. I have a child that I am sharing custody with and there are all sorts of logistical issues with work and who's picking up who on which days and when. So each of us have some bags to haul around, but both will get better in time...just pushing forward and trying to be there for each other.

Thanks for your kind wishes.

 

My wife has said to me, "Is that all you ever think about? Do you think about sex constantly or what?"

Well, yes, I think about sex constantly. Most men do. But it's not all I think about. Sometimes I think about eating and going to the bathroom and football.

She, however, does not think about sex constantly.

I think women sometimes need direct physical stimulation to get them going into sex mode. If you wait for them to initiate you may be waiting a long time. So how do you get things going when you are not supposed to initiate? Rubbing her pussy is one way.

 

I'm actually free though initiate sexual activity anytime I want, it's just that it usually doesn't get reciprocated unless she feels like it.

I am very fortunate...there hasn't been an instance that giving her an O wasn't the right call lol! The orgasms I give her with mouth and toys are so good and frequent, she has little reason to unlock me unless she just feels like playing with it.

 

Yes, no reason not to try to get something going. She can only say no.

 

Yours is a common problem. What has worked for us several times and suggested by psychologist, has been to schedule mandatory sex nights. One or two nights a week where you have to be there no matter what. Most people are not aware of the science of sex and intimacy. Having sex or just cuddling, produces a hormone named Oxytocin. It's sole job is to emotionally bond the couple together. It is nature's way to keep keep the couple together so that they will procreate. It is the same hormone that bonds a mother to her child. That is how powerful and important it is.

Guess what happens when you wank instead of having sex with your wife? Your lose out on all that emotional bonding and that negatively affects the marriage. The more sex you have with your wife, the more you want it. The less, well you get the point. A recent study determined that millennials have less sex than my generation. The major two reasons were more job focuses and the easy access to free porn. As you said, it is much easier to wank off. No shower, no foreplay and you always imagine you are having sex just the way you like it. I was there 5 years ago wanking off 5 times a day at times.

Chastity was my way of dealing with it. Since the focus of sexual pleasure was shifted to my wife, she wanted to have sex more often. The more often we had sex, the more she wanted it. She is now having multiple very intense orgasms as a result of chastity play. I am kept sexually aroused so I am like a dog humping her leg every chance I get. I have learned to love the anticipation of an orgasm, more than the orgasm itself. Other than in the heat of the moment, if I am asked if I want to cum, I will say no. I like feeling charged up with sexual energy and the exquisite pleasure of being edged over and over again before locking up again.

However, we first started with two sex nights a week. Once we got that Oxytocin going, we got very intimate with each other and our emotional bond was restored. Things are going great for us since then. We were depressed when we moved away from our girlfriend of 30 years and sex fell by the wayside since we were used to threesomes and twosomes are very limiting compared to that.

I have been locked up over 4 years and it feels very natural to me. My wife loves all the sexual attention I give her. She even giggles like a school girl and she is 64. 64 and having the most intense orgasms of her life and multiple ones at that. We went from sex once every 4-6 weeks to sex at least once a week, sometimes twice. Hey, we are old and have medical issues. Most of our friends do not even have sex anymore so we are doing good.

Do some research about Oxytocin if you are unfamiliar with it and the method of scheduling sex or just intimate nights. It has worked every time for us and can work for you. All that is needed is the love that makes the two of you want it to work. Good luck.

 

Harsh.
No attention = no fun.
Yeah life happens. Stuff happens. Nothing wrong with letting your SO know how you feel. In fact you should and she should let you know how she feels.

Sounds like you've figured out you need to focus on communicateing.

I think your on the right track. What's happening to you is a fear of mine.

Good luck.

 

Whether before or after introduction of chastity, my wife HAS NEVER had a clue about my needs no matter how clearly I try to communicate with her. 90% of the time we have sex because I get so pissed off that I throw a fit and make a big deal, then she gets it that I need some attention.

I hate the cycle, and we've been to counseling and nothing has changed with her. She simply does not understand that I NEED regular sexual interaction with her. She likes that I am locked up now, but I can only stand to go three or four days and I am dying for intimate time with her. Back when I could masturbate I would go months before I got angry enough to fight with her. But now I can't do anything except be frustrated because she doesn't care about sex at all.

When I am feeling the need for her hitting my limit, I try hard to make mention of needing time with her throughout the day and to make it clear that I need some attention. By the time evening rolls around she has completely forgotten. I will mention it again and head into the bedroom waiting for her. Usually after half an hour of waiting, I will walk back out into the living room and find her on Facebook. Then she gets all pissy with me the next day because I was angry.

Honestly, if I didn't have a sex drive and find women attractive, I would think they were repulsive assholes and would avoid them at all costs. I know I'm spreading a wide net with that statement, but my wife is just unbelievably dense when it comes to anything sexual.