I want this to be my first journal entry. This may be a pivoting point to a FLR relationship. I have been wanting my wife to be more dominant for more than 15 years (like many guys here do), and something happened recently where she is asserting more power, and I would say something clicked and her "BITCH MODE" got turned on. Not in a bad way, just very controlling. She has completely changed, and I believe that I caused her to change by communicating with her that is something I like (her being dominant), and I have assumed submissive position, EVEN when she was not asking for it, and every time she makes a dominant decision, I celebrate it and do what she says without resistance! This was one of the things that I believe has changed her behavior the most. Here is how it all happened recently: I was preparing for two week long trip, visiting childhood friend for a wedding, and I told my wife there will be also a bachelor's party. She asked me to behave myself, and that I don't masturbate during the two week long trip, we are on a honor system, not locked up. I told her I will do that. When I came back I told her that I didn't masturbate and that I didn't even want to touch myself, because I would get more aroused and more frustrated. She was happy with my success, and rewarded me with PIV sex, but me instead of begging her for me to cum, I asked her calmly "WILL YOU LET ME COME?" and she said not yet, and she will save me for later. I told her I love that I enjoy she controls my orgasms that way. Next night, I told her that in the morning I touched myself for tiny bit, and basically masturbated for about ten seconds, with no outcome. She got very angry (which I didn't expect), and said that she doesn't want I TOUCH MYSELF at all except during washing, and don't want that to happen again. WHOA! Where did this come from? She has asserted lots of power here. I told her that I loved that she denied me the touch, and I will comply. Since that day I started to report to her that I didn't touch myself that day. I asked her if I can smell her butt every night as a reward, and she agreed. We had another PIV sex, and again instead of begging to come, or asking her desperately "can I come", I again calmly said "WILL YOU LET ME COME?". She again said not yet, but I can edge three times. I was so horny, that I basically had a small ruined orgasm inside her, and dripped few drops of semen. She got annoyed by that. Next night happened same thing, but I leaked so much semen, that even the bed got stained with my sperm. She said she didn't like that at all, and I was not obeying her when she said I can only edge, and she doesn't want that happen again. I told her YES. She let me finally come on the weekend during PIV. I thanked her. On the weekend we had a couple of close friends over, who knows some of our BDSM lifestyle and have been to our dungeon, and I brought up our old Idea about going to swingers club together, four of us, and started to plan to do it soon. I told them I would love to wear my chastity belt too, that it would keep me in check and help more respect wishes of my wife. Well, I didn't notice, but this was too much information for everyone, my wife got completely pissed with me that I am making plans like this, and that mentioning chastity, which was too private for her. She ASKED not to discuss this topic anymore. Our friends go outraged that I would need chastity to behave at a swingers club, which we wanted to just checkout without any participation. I wanted to object to that and explain myself, and that is where my wife got pissed and ended our party. She was really upset and said she will need to punish me. We went to our marriage counselor to deal with my poly tendencies, and this incident in front our friends. Next day we had PIV and I asked her "WILL YOU LET ME COME", and she asked DO YOU DESERVE IT? The answer was obvious. Weekend came and I told her I really would like she follows through and punish me, it would help our relationship. I like to be punished, and I really want to feel like I redeem myself. She agreed and we proceeded to BDSM scene, where she will punish me. (note here, I was bit pushy about her punishing me certain way, but it is part of my needs in our relationship, I will just keep telling her how important it is for me) She said that she will punish me for two things: 1) that I didn't respect her during out party, and kept bringing up the swingers club and chastity even she asked to stop talking about it. 2) that I leaked sperm during edging - THIS WAS AS A SURPRISE TO ME. Really? She wants to punish me for that? Not only she did, but well so I get the point. She did 50 strokes for 1) and another 50 strokes for 2) ...I counted and after that begged for forgiveness. During our BDSM game, she commanded me no to talk, and obey everything. She said she would train me to be more obedient and that I KNOW MY PLACE and SHOW ME WHO IS IN CONTROL HERE!!! That was a last drop. My cries for her being more dominant, are come to life, and I am in heaven. I am bit afraid to let go of my power, and feel like a weak man, and exhibit these tendencies in front of my son, but at the same time I am loving it and our bond is growing stronger, and I fantasize about my wife. I feel like our relationship is getting better, after 20 years (about that more in my journal later). Hope this helps you on your journey. Feel free to comment and even suggest. Please try not to judge. BITCH MODE IS ON! and as the famous saying goes "be careful what you wish for."