My unexpected life

Discussion in 'Journals and blogs' started by xcitex2, Jun 24, 2008.

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  1. bitchmadam
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    bitchmadam Member

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    "As this started as play for me the fact that I am here starting this journal is at best described as odd. Odd in a sense that I never in all my years thought I would find the idea of someone as beautiful as my wife/Goddess wanting to explore this area of play. Truth is play has turned into a life choice and now I am left wondering when and if I will ever get out of the device that now harnesses every sexual thought I have."
    sorry if i wrote b/4 but i do not rmember but my boy said this morning almost the same he did not think life would be this way. i hope he understands life is FUN and it also can be a life style too. i hope he understands that.:butterfly: :love0077:
     
  2. Goddess Jen
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    Goddess Jen Expert in tease and denial

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    I'll be 2nd!!
    You're old. :manga_bunny:
     
  3. valsboy
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    valsboy Active member

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    Hi xcitex2,

    :cat:In your opinion, are these dreams caused by the lock up? Have you experienced this before? If so does it pass? I've been having some vivid dreams - I'd prefer deep sleep.


    EDIT: no need for your answer on this one xcitex2, have just been searching through your journal. Dreams it is!
     
  4. xcitex2
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    xcitex2 Back from the past!

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    Hey Valsboy. The actual truth with me is that I have a vivid imagination and I have these dreams quite frequently, regardless of whether or not I am locked up. Of course when in lockup they never finish out in any form as the nocturnal erection attempt is thwarted and I get that OUCH wake up call. When not in lockup the dreams seem to be harder to deal with as they play out a little longer only to frustrate me when I wake to realize it is only a dream LOL

    bitchmadam: Thanks again for stopping by. I am sure your boy will realize this in due time. We sub, boys, slaves want so desperately to submit, but then we still want to hold on to what we have know for most of our lives, "Me Tarzan you Jane" LOL Honestly the hottest part of this lifestyle came when I finally gave up complete control and she called the shots around the house, period. I was in lockup so she had plenty of fun making me wear clothes I would not be caught dead in, teasing me, making me give her oral sex while I stayed denied and sometimes restrained to the bed for the evening, you name it. Crazy thing is I finally got to the point where the constant arousal was so hot that I did not want the release. Sounds odd I know but there was so much going on it was crazy. I am glad he was able to bring out the inner you but please be patient and realize he was most likely not aware of what this really involved and it will take some time fo you to find the mutual common gournd boundaries. Best of luck.

    Goddess Jen:.. OLD??? Really?? You want to go there after having yet another birthday just recently. LOL In all actuality I did feel old, damn! Tonight I am feeling a little younger. I just got back a while ago from a bags tournament with my sister-in-law. She needed a stand in. It was actually fun to kick a little but. Made me feel a little younger actually. LOL The real story is that most of my large jobs for the week are done and I am feeling the little bit of relief as a welcome event.

    Well not much else to say here tonight it is time for Goddess and I to review some open enrollment forms for our insurance..OH YEAH FOR US! I think I would rather take one of those ass beatings I heard about from Mistress Watchful, Miss Linda, and Mistress Michelle! LOL Night all
     
  5. Respectful
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    Respectful Chaste by choice

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    :manga_bunny:Just wanted to drop by and say... you guessed it!

    You're old!
     
  6. xcitex2
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    xcitex2 Back from the past!

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    OK OK OK, enough of the old Jokes. I only feel old :p Something about all this work and no play is the thing. Real problem is last night was full of some very hot an erotic dreams and I would do just about anything to be between Goddesses thighs right now. Sorry to be so graphic but damn. I can't stop thinking of it. Don't know why. Well enough for now, more later I have some running to do.
     
  7. Mistress Watchful
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    Mistress Watchful Dont believe the hype ;oP

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    Well I'm in..... :whipbang:
     
  8. Goddess Jen
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    Goddess Jen Expert in tease and denial

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    Honey, you think that's graphic?!? Have you read my diary? Even when I read it back to myself, I'm like, "I can't believe I just said that." There's nothing like tellin' it like it is. Sometimes graphic is the only way to get your point across. So, no worries...dirty talk is my idea of romance. :happy0011:
     
  9. xcitex2
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    xcitex2 Back from the past!

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    OK so where to start... this weekend has been wonderful thus far and I have had a great time. It all started Friday night with Goddess. She read my post and must have felt sorry for me (perhaps it was all the begging lol) at any rate she let me give her oral. I knew I was on to something when she came in almost two to three minutes. She must have been worked up and been hiding it from me all week. Obviously I kept going after her first orgasm and within another minute she had two. This lead to three in just a few minutes more and all I could think was damn this is hot and she is really turned on tonight. Within about 8-9 minutes she had had four orgasms mini or otherwise. I decide to get out her favorite Hitcahi and see if would could beet her record of 6 in one string. It did not take long and She had three more. I was feeling rather proud if I do say so myself. I got to enjoy the best part of being with her sexually and she had seven orgasms in under 15 minutes. The last the most powerful of course as she let out a huge scream right as I kissed her to muffle her voice so as to not wake the kids. LOL I love it when she is so orgasmic that I can get her to have multiple in one session. I was lucky enough that she gave me the pleasure of making love afterwards. she has been toying with the idea of teasing me with the hitachi and some orajel lately. Not sure what she has up her sleeve but thankfully it was not used that night.

    Saturday followed with some windshield time as I got to drive up to Chicago for some business. While I was there I got to take in a little shopping for myself and my Goddess. While the shopping for Her was rather disappointing I did manage to find a new leather jacket. It was good to work most of the day then be able to hit a mall before going home. Kind of fun. It was unfortunately not enough time to go all the places I would have liked but traffic was so damn brutal up there this weekend it was probably better that I did not try to go into the heart of the city. Instead I finished my work and headed home.

    So here I sit today the Goddess is away with our oldest at a birthday party and the youngest is taking a nap. My daughter who was over earlier is off to save the world (well just a friend) but God bless her she jumps right into to help when she thinks she needs to. I only wish I could get her to see that when the same person has the same problem over and over again and you bail them out over and over again, you aren't really saving anyone. Thank goodness she has the heart for people she does. With all that it leaves me here in a rather quiet house, on a rather lazy day, in a rather comfy room, on a comfy couch, and well by now you can get the idea of what comes next...some quite time with a blanket, a pillow, and shut eye! Take care everyone, I will be in touch later!
     
  10. Goddess Jen
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    Goddess Jen Expert in tease and denial

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    So glad to hear you had such a great weekend!!!! You deserve those every once in awhile. Sounds like your Goddess had one hell of a Friday night. You go girl!!! I just hear/see that word "Hitachi" and I shudder. Good shudders of course!! LOL!! Oh, and Xcite? Thanks again. :manga_blowkiss:
     
  11. madamsboy
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    madamsboy Looking for a special female

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    where were you in the city? I know of one kink leather place a couples up the road from me, there is also a dungeon a couple blocks from there as well.
    Madam had me looking for dungeons this AM :spider:
     
  12. xcitex2
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    xcitex2 Back from the past!

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    Hello madamsboy. I was actually not all the way in the city, only the suburbs, Orland Park to be exact. PLease do tell me about the places though, especially the dungeon! I have always wanted to visit some place like that for fun and one of these days I will have to put all inhibitions aside and go! Of course I may need some friends to go with because I am not sure Goddess will go with me or not, I guess only one way to find out hu? LOL
     
  13. xcitex2
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    xcitex2 Back from the past!

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    Sorry Goddess Jen missed your post. You are more than welcome! Please keep me posted on how everything goes!
     
  14. madamsboy
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    madamsboy Looking for a special female

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    Orland park = south side. I am WAY north side of the city proper.
    I've found most of the places via google and linking from those sites to other sites. I haven't been to any dungeons yet, but who knows what the future will bring. If you decide to visit one up here on a sunday or weekday, let Madam or I know maybe we can join if you like.
     
  15. bitchmadam
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    it does sound like a nice idea to meet up with you and your goddess we sound like the same here i never thought i would love the teaseing and the denile that i give my boy but it is a life style i am begining to enjoy he never knows what is up next:butterfly::sign0027:is what he needs to keep saying but change it to madam and rewards might start?
     
  16. madamsboy
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    madamsboy Looking for a special female

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    [​IMG]
     
  17. xcitex2
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    xcitex2 Back from the past!

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    a get together some time might just be fun. We would so love to meet others in the lifestyle who also live a vanilla life. We seem to run into so many who think this lifestyle is a 24/7 or nothing. While I certainly wont judge them for it and might even say congrats, I sure hate it when others refer to us as if we have to do it 24/7 or nothing.

    So far the last few days have been pretty simple and straight forward. Besides these crazy erotic day dreams I have been having it is all good. I am not sure but I have been wired beyond belief lately. I go to sleep only to have these crazy dreams about some Mistress dominating me with her and another woman in the room and well lets just say that with ideas like that being put in your head subliminally or otherwise is bound to drive you crazy.

    Speaking of crazy Goddess has been talking with another Goddess on hear the last day or so and if I know her something is coming down the pike that has the potential to get really crazy. I don't know what it is but it is something. This is obviously very odd as Goddess is an extremely private person. Just the fact that she is talking about stuff means there is potential for trouble. At least for right now I am out and free. Probably a great thing with these crazy dreams! LOL

    Well that is about it for now so more later.
     
  18. bitchmadam
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    my boy is out and free to at this time but not for long and both of us have had ideas of people watching each other and i have not found any one that i feel comfortable with maybe i will soon and we could all have fun:happy0158::butterfly:
     
  19. xcitex2
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    xcitex2 Back from the past!

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    Oh we have talked and even joked in some degrees about this but Goddess and I have come to the same point in every discussion. I do not think either of us would ever be able to have other people in our play time or intimate times. sure I have had plenty of fantasies as most guys do. Of course on the selfish side of things I do not think I would be able to see her with another guy. It is hard to say as I bounce all over the place with this. Now her friend in LA as a three some well lets just say wow! LOL but she knows this as I have joked about it a lot. Again doubt it is anything we would actually do. Perhaps in our younger days but doubtful with current times.

    Now with that said I would love and we are actually working on getting to know other couples in the scene in both the lifestyle and the vanilla sense. I cant imagine how fun it could actually be to find someone we can connect with and talk about everyday life stuff kids included then on some select evenings go out for some adult time and be able to include this in the conversation. Although I suspect that could get spicy with two Goddess giving us grief. LOL
     
  20. bitchmadam
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    "I have come to the same point in every discussion. I do not think either of us would ever be able to have other people in our play time or intimate times."
    the same here and we would like to meet up any time pm me or madamsboy and just let us talk kids and all.
    and giving you guys grief that is what we are here :sign0027:for but fun too :party0002: :butterfly:
     
  21. xcitex2
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    xcitex2 Back from the past!

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    Oh yes the grief part I understand. But see in a selfish way and in the spirit of sexual warfare I understand the concept of divide and conquer. LOL Once I add other ladies to the mix, well then I don't stand a chance in being able to persuade Goddess into anything. LOL Seriously though thanks for the offer and perhaps one day soon I can take you up on that.

    Well today was the first day in some time since I have been back at my desk in the digital darkroom. My schedule has been crazy. I was recruited, more like kidnapped, to run high end video for some contacts here lately and that was a whole new experience. I have dabbled in consumer grade video for years but nothing like this. These were the same cameras they use for TV production. It was a blast. that combined with my part time job, crazy kids, and the general public at this time of year, well let's say I am already ready for a vacation. Somewhere warm and tropical would be a blast. Perhaps somewhere VERY secluded so I could just run up a beach in the buff and not scare the hell out of every one around. LOL

    Not much going these days in the terms of chastity. I am not sure but this is just one of those periods where Goddess has resigned herself to being the Wife and while I respect her just the same in either role, she has little to no desire to even talk about it, much less do anything with it. This is not too bad but it does seem to cause me a little strife. See while I know I should not take matters into my own hands the will power or lack thereof is much stronger when I know I can. I mean heck give me about ten minutes of privacy and I can conjure up just about any fantasy I want in my head. LOL It is funny howevr, on a serious note, how this lifestyle can make you want so much variations that it is hard not to top from the bottom. I mean ideally I would like to be secured pretty much all the time, but of course I would want to be teased or allowed to service her all the time with only a few actual releases. then on the other hand if she is not quite into the role I would not want to be locked up and ignored because that just sucks, so there in lies the wanting to call the shots and forgetting that it is not about me in this world. Who knows. The crazy thing is lately the thoughts in my head are running much deeper than normal in terms of what I am craving. Goddess is not much into bondage, I mean total bondage, and for some reason this intense desire to be totally controlled is taking over my dreams almost every night. It is crazy, I mean I am talking hoods, gags, floggers, chains, restraints, all the good stuff; and ironically some of the stuff we don't own nor have I ever. Perhaps it is just the stress of the holidays working itself out through my deteriorating mind. LOL OK well catch you all later. Terribly sorry there is not more to post right now but hey I call it like I see it and real is real.
     
  22. xcitex2
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    xcitex2 Back from the past!

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    Wow where to start. the last 24 hours has been full of a roller coaster type emotions. I had a friend who got some bad news last night and it sucked that when I really just wanted to reach out and hug her I couldn't because she was 200 plus miles away. Then after a long talk one of the best things in the world happened and it has been uphill all day. Sorry for all the code but some of this stuff is personal in a sense that it just is not the place for it here, and no none of it has to do with this site or sex for that matter.

    Now speaking of sex, well lets just say temptation is getting ready to kick in as this "free" time is getting the best of me. so far all is good because by the time I have hit the bed each night, and with as late as I have been running in the mornings there has not been any time for any personal gratification time. But wow I am about ready to just go run and lock myself up regardless of whether Goddess is in the mood to hold the keys right now.

    Stress is a little more manageable today but Goddess volunteered to head up a fund raising project for our oldest son at school. As the product came in today she had to go sort it all out, box it up, then sit there and wait, and wait, and wait for parents to show up to pick there kids items up. It has been a long time since I was that pissed at complete strangers. the fact that they were all supposed to be there no later than 5PM should have been a pretty simple thing to follow. But NOOOOOOOo instead I get a call at 5:30 asking me to com back to the school so we could figure out a way to put the food in freezers etc since about 20 of the parents decided not to bless us with the presence. My main problem you might ask? The president of the organization shows up and says, " hey you are doing a great job Melissa", then leaves. Never mind he should have realized something was drastically wrong with all that product laying around. Oh well no one died and we just had to eat dinner a little late and a little colder than normal but hey. Suffice it to say there is not much chance I am doing anything with them again.

    Well there you have it. A little confusing, a little boring, and a lot or rambling about pretty much nothing but hey just keeping it real.
     
  23. madamsboy
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    madamsboy Looking for a special female

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    ah, the joys of volunteer work at one's kid's school. I don't fall for it, however Madam does time and again.
     
  24. bitchmadam
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    bitchmadam Member

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    sorry to say boys volunteering is fun when you like to be with others and not the same people all the time:butterfly::character0053:
     
  25. xcitex2
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    xcitex2 Back from the past!

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    I think it is fun as long as others don't leave you holding the bag! that's where it sucks LOL Anyway it was all for a good cause and it seems no a day later all the people involved really appreciate what she did so there you go!
     
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